Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
Dakota and Reagan come to my late afternoon yoga class. Since the trip, we’ve been inseparable. They understand everything that’s going on, which is nice, but I also just really enjoy being with them. Somewhere along the way, Rhett’s friends have become mine.
“Is Rhett coming back today, too?” Reagan asks when everyone else is gone and it’s just the three of us sitting on our mats.
“Yes. I wasn’t expecting him until tomorrow, but I cannot wait to see him.”
“How is he?” Dakota asks.
“Good. I think. It’s hard to tell. Every time I ask him how he’s doing, he turns it back on me.” He sounds tired and a little off, but who could blame him?
“He cares about you a lot. You really scared him,” Reagan says with a look that says that he’s not the only one I scared.
“Do you still get to skate at your competition this weekend?” Dakota asks.
I nod enthusiastically. The one shining beacon in an otherwise crappy week. “Thank goodness.”
“I switched my days working at the Hall of Fame so we can come,” Dakota says.
“Really?” A smile splits my lips.
“Duh. We’re not going to miss your last skating competition.”
“My parents and little sister are coming, too. They haven’t seen me skate all year.” I glance down at my watch to check my heart rate.
Reagan leans back on one elbow. “Your heart condition, is it hereditary?”
“Sometimes, but in my case, it’s not. My friend Elias is a third-generation though.”
“The pairs skater?” Dakota asks.
“That’s right.”
“Does it freak you out or no? Also, feel free to tell me to mind my own damn business,” Reagan says.
“I don’t mind talking about it. And no, it doesn’t really freak me out. Only when I can’t do something that I want to, but for the most part I’ve adapted my life to a point that it doesn’t feel like I’m missing out.”
“Are your parents cool with you skating even with the risks?”
“Yeah. They have been great. The first year was hard and we fought a lot with me trying to keep living the same life and them always panicked that something would happen to me, but you can’t live in a constant state of fear and anxiety.
We went to therapy and we figured out what works for us.
Namely, letting me do what I want.” I grin.
“I had to decide what was important to me and what things I was just holding on to because I thought I needed to drive my parents crazy. I don’t care about binge drinking and I was pretty healthy even before I was diagnosed.
The only thing I refused to give up is skating.
Since I was already a skater, that helped too.
Things that are outside of my routine seem to set me off more than anything. ”
“I think you’re incredibly brave,” Reagan says, flashing me her dimples.
I go back to their apartment with them. I haven’t heard from Rhett since this morning, but I want to be there when he arrives.
Adam is standing outside of the apartment with a cocky grin when we walk up the stairs. Reagan takes off in a sprint, squealing.
“Is Rhett here too?” I ask.
“Yeah,” Adam manages to say and motion with his head before Reagan occupies his mouth.
I go straight back to his room. He unzips the bag on the bed, looking up when I enter.
“You’re back.”
He stands tall. “I just got in. I was going to text you tomorrow. I’m so beat.”
He faces me, and I can see the exhaustion. His normally smooth face is sporting scruff and his gray-blue eyes are hazy.
“Yeah, of course. I was with Dakota and Reagan and we ran into Adam.” I linger in the doorway, then finally step forward to hug him. It’s the first time I’ve breathed easy in two days. His scent and his strong arms wrap around me. “I missed you. I’m so glad you’re home.”
“Me too. I can’t tell you how happy I am to have that behind me. How’ve you been feeling? And don’t say fine.”
“Better now.” I squeeze harder.
I don’t know how long we stand there embracing, but he lets out a contented sigh. “I’m gonna shower and go to bed. Can you stay?”
“If you want me to.” I wasn’t sure if he’d want space after all he’s been through, but I’m relieved when he looks at me like I’m ridiculous for considering any other option.
“Definitely. Maybe I’ll be more fun after twelve hours of sleep.”
“It’s okay. I have some reading to do for class anyway.”
He nods and then goes to shower.
True to his word, he showers and then climbs into bed and passes out. I read at his desk using my cell phone as a light, then crawl in beside him. When I wake up, he’s wrapped around me like a human teddy bear.
And that’s how the next couple of days go.
Rhett goes to classes, skates or lifts weights for several hours in the afternoon, and then comes back to his apartment exhausted and ready to sleep.
We cuddle, we have sex, we watch movies, and sit together while we do schoolwork, but we barely leave his room outside of the previously mentioned activities.
When I ask him how he’s doing, he says he’s good and then kisses me. I don’t know if it’s a distraction technique, but it’s effective.
Thursday evening we’re sprawled out on his bed. He’s watching a movie on his phone and I’m trying to read for class.
Heath yells from the other side of the door and then opens it a crack. “You guys want to play sardines?”
I look to Rhett.
“Nah, man. We’re good. Thanks.”
Heath glances to me, a flash of uncertainty in his gaze, and then nods.
“Are you sure? I’m just reading ahead so I can follow along better in class. I can be done if you want to play.”
He shakes his head. “Not really feeling it.”
“You could let me beat you at Mario Kart.”
He snorts and then curls a finger around the front of my tank, pulling it down to show my cleavage. “I’m good right here.”
Don’t get me wrong, I love being with Rhett. I love being naked with Rhett, but his bedroom is starting to feel like our hideout.
“So, I heard that there’s a party tomorrow night for the hockey team. Are you going?”
“Yeah, it’s mandatory. The team is making an entrance. I promise we can duck out at a reasonable hour. I know you have the Valley Classic early Saturday.”
“We, huh? I guess that means I’m invited.”
“You go where I go.” He leans forward and touches his lips to mine.
“A night out sounds fun, actually.” I watch his expression carefully, but he’s stoic. “And I don’t have to be to the rink Saturday until ten so I’m good until at least midnight, when I turn into a pumpkin.”
A small smile tips up one side of his mouth.
“I thought you’d be more excited about it.”
“Excited about a night where I have to dress up and mingle with alumni and boosters?” He cocks a brow.
“A night celebrating with your friends. Since you didn’t get to the night you won.”
He doesn’t respond and goes back to watching his phone.
I set my book aside and scoot closer to him. “Are you doing okay with all this? Really? I can’t tell and I want to be here for you.”
“You are here for me.” He smiles and pokes me.
“Emotionally. You’ve barely said two words about Carrie or the funeral.”
He drops his phone to his lap. “What do you want me to say?”
“Anything.”
“It sucked and I feel awful about what happened. That help?”
“Does it help you?”
“No, which is why I haven’t said anything. It’s over and done, and I’m moving on. Talking about it is the opposite of what I want. Okay?”
I nod. “Okay.”
“Being with you makes me feel better. You’re here for me—physically and emotionally.”
I kiss him. “I’m hungry. Want something to eat?”
“Mmmm.” He hums, kisses me again and mumbles against my lips. “And mentally. I was just thinking about food. You read my mind.”
“Want to go out?” I stretch my legs out.
“Nah, let’s just order something.”