30 - Elizabeth
Elizabeth
Midterms arrived like a storm that had suddenly fallen over the campus. It was there in the blink of an eye, heavy with work and impossible to ignore. Our papers were due, the exams loomed, and the library was packed from morning until well after midnight.
The only seat I managed to get was the corner table on the third floor. It was the one no one wanted because it was tucked between two tall shelves of dusty political science journals that almost no one seemed to touch.
Even though it wasn’t perfect, it was one of the few quiet places on campus where I could still breathe.
The light on my laptop dimmed as my half-finished essay mocked me from a distance.
My usual calm, organized approach had flown out the window, and my highlighters and textbooks were just casually scattered across the desk.
I reached for my coffee, took a thoughtless sip and instantly spat it back out again.
It had been cold for hours, and I hadn’t even noticed.
Ethan sat across from me, his shoulders slouched as the thick economics book got the better of him. It looked like it was consuming him, but also like he was completely lost. I had been watching him for at least two minutes, and he still hadn’t turned a single page.
“You know,” I finally said, tapping my pen against the edge of the table. “If you stare at the same paragraph for too long, it doesn’t magically get absorbed by your brain.”
Ethan glanced up and blinked as if he had just come back from another world. “That is basically my whole strategy.”
I laughed out loud. “Really?”
“Yeah.” He leaned back slightly, stretching his arms over his head. “Step one: open the textbook. Step two: look miserable. Step three: hope the knowledge enters and stays in my mind through osmosis.”
I bit my lip, trying to stop myself from laughing even more. If his theory were correct, none of us would fail, but sadly, that wasn’t the way the world worked.
“I hate to burst your bubble,” I said, snorting just a little. “But I’m pretty sure that’s not how economics works.”
He looked at me in horror. “Are you saying my entire academic career has been a lie?”
“I’m saying you’ve been reading the same page since we got here.”
Ethan looked from me to his book and then back again. He seemed to be completely confused, like he hadn’t even realized that he wasn’t moving forward.
“Okay…” he said, flipping through the pages. “In my defense, it’s a really dense page.”
I shook my head, smiling faintly as I returned to my laptop. For a moment, the only sound between us was the quiet tapping of keys and the distant rustle of pages from the other students scattered throughout the library.
A few minutes later, Ethan leaned forward again, resting his elbows on the table. “You realize something, right?”
I gave him a confused look. “What?”
“Every single date we’ve had until now somehow revolved around schoolwork.”
I paused for a moment and actually thought it over. “These are not dates.”
Ethan gave me an incredulous look before pulling out his calendar, and I couldn’t help but wonder where he was going with this.
“Look,” he said, pointing to this week. “We’ve had dinner together three times this week.”
“The dining hall doesn’t count,” I scoffed.
He pointed to Thursday. “We watched a movie.”
I playfully slapped his hand. “With half the team.”
Ethan looked defeated for just a moment, but then he got this look, kind of like a lightbulb had flicked on in his head.
“That was only this week,” he said smugly. “We studied together last week, too.”
I had to admit that it was rather amusing watching him try to reason this out with himself. But at the same time, I was seriously considering where he was going with this because he was obviously trying to make a point.
I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms as I considered him. “So, what are you saying? Are you trying to ask me to go on a real date?”
Ethan opened his mouth immediately as if he was ready with a comeback, but then he closed it again and for a second he just looked at me. Then the humor slipped out of his expression.
“Yes,” he said simply.
I blinked rapidly, trying to comprehend what I had just heard. Of all the things I expected, that wasn’t on my list. The air between us shifted; it was subtle but undeniable. The teasing tone that had filled our conversation moments earlier faded into something quieter.
“Oh,” I said softly.
Ethan rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly looking far less confident than he usually did on the field.
“I mean… yeah… I would like to take you on a real date.”
I looked down at the table and fiddled with the corner of one of my notebooks.
My heart did that annoying thing again where it squeezed a little too tight whenever he said something unexpectedly sincere.
It was because it was far too easy for me to fall for something like this and to just get wrapped up in the heat of the moment.
But his words from the fundraiser dinner were still rattling around in the back of my mind.
And the conversation he had told me about between Harris and Pine had planted a seed I couldn’t fully ignore.
I closed the laptop. “Ethan…”
He looked up hopefully.
“You said something before,” I added. “About transferring.”
His expression changed almost instantly, but for a moment he didn’t answer. Suddenly the library felt too quiet and hot. It was becoming just as suffocating as the rest of the places I had been trying to ignore.
I held his gaze and steeled my nerves. “Were you serious?”
Ethan exhaled slowly and leaned back in his chair. His eyes drifted toward the tall window across the room, where the late afternoon sun was fading into a gray October dusk.
“I don’t know,” he admitted.
“That’s not a real answer,” I said with a slight wince.
“I know.”
He ran his fingers through his hair, clearly conflicted and debating how honest he wanted to be.
“I was serious when I said it,” he finally said.
I allowed my heart to clench ever so slightly. “But?”
He gave me a kind of loving look that I hadn’t seen from him before. “But I don’t know if I still am.”
I studied his face, trying to see what was written between the lines. He was obviously hiding something, and I needed to find out what it was before it ended up crushing me.
“Why not?” I eventually asked.
He shrugged lightly, but it didn’t look as casual as he was clearly trying to go for. “Because things change. Because I might’ve jumped the gun. And because maybe I should just see the season finish.”
I stared at him, not knowing what to make of his answer. “Really?”
He gave me a small, half-smile. “Don’t look so shocked.”
I wish I could, but this was the last thing I expected to come out of his mouth. I was still trying to process it, let alone understanding what brought him to this conclusion.
“I’m not shocked,” I said quickly. “I just—”
I stopped myself before I could say something I would end up regretting. I just what? Hoped for a future between the two of us? Wanted him to stay and give us a chance? The thoughts made my cheeks warm up.
Ethan watched me for a moment and then chuckled softly. “You look like you’re trying to solve a math problem.”
“I hate math,” I said automatically.
“Exactly.”
I sighed, but the tension in my chest refused to ease up. I so desperately wanted to give in to him, but with Ethan, I also learned the importance of keeping my feelings shrouded because I never knew when he’d decide to throw everything away.
“Seeing the season out,” I repeated. “That sounds… reasonable.”
“That’s high praise coming from you.”
“I’ll have you know that I’m being very serious.”
“I know.”
There was something about the way he said it.
It was gentler than usual, and because of that, I couldn’t look at him.
The heaviness that hung between us earlier had faded and was replaced by something lighter.
So both of us went back to studying. Or at least that was what we were pretending to be doing.
Within fifteen minutes, Ethan started doodling football plays in the margin of his notebook. And I caught myself watching him instead of working through my own material. Then he flicked a folded piece of paper at me, and I had to clamp a hand over my mouth to stop myself from laughing out loud.
Eventually, the library grew quieter as the students started leaving. I stood to grab another book and stretched my stiff arms as my eyes scanned over the rows.
“Looking for something specific?” Ethan asked.
“Political theory,” I mumbled. “Unfortunately.”
He grimaced. “That just sounds painful.”
“Trust me. It is.”
I slid a book free, turned around and nearly collided with him.
Ethan had followed me into the narrow aisle between the shelves.
We both froze for a second. The space was tight because the tall bookcase was boxing us in, creating a little pocket of shadow away from the rest of the library.
My back brushed against the shelf behind me as I tried to put some distance between us.
“What are you doing?” I whispered.
“Studying,” Ethan said, moving closer.
“This,” I said, motioning between us. “Isn’t studying.”
“Observation is an important part of the studying process,” he noted.
I rolled my eyes as my lips curled into a shy smile. Only he could make studying so technical, especially when there’s so much sexual tension involved.
He closed the distance between us. “Elizabeth…”
My heart was beating in my chest. “Yes.”
He hesitated just long enough to make the moment feel fragile.
Then he leaned in and kissed me. It wasn’t rushed or impulsive like some of the other kisses we had shared.
This one was deep and filled with meaning.
We both knew that we needed to stay quiet in the library, but at that exact moment, it didn’t matter because neither of us could stop.
My hands slipped onto his shoulders without me even thinking about it.
And for just a second, the world shrunk to the size of the small aisle we were standing in.
It was quiet, with only the movement of our hands making any sound. The faint smell of coffee and old papers only made it more intriguing, but then everything came crashing down.
“Oh, my God.”
I jerked back and saw my best friend standing at the end of the aisle. She was staring at us with wide, delighted eyes, and I could instantly tell that this would be blown out of proportion.
“You two are scandalous,” she said with a laugh.
“Jenna—” I started.
But Jenna was already backing away and grinning like she had just discovered the best gossip on campus.
“Jenna! Don’t you dare.”
She spun around and bolted down the aisle, laughing as she disappeared into the stairwell. I groaned and dropped my head into my hands.
“Well,” Ethan said as he caught up with me.
I looked up cautiously and saw that he was trying his best not to laugh, but he was failing miserably.
“Midterms just got a whole lot more interesting.”