33 - Ethan
Ethan
The field at Endicott was colder than I expected, but it did absolutely nothing to calm my nerves.
The wind rustled across the stadium in sharp gusts.
The bleachers were rattling and the Highlanders’ banners were slapping against their poles.
The gray sky made the turf look darker, and it was still slick from the rain that had passed through earlier.
We jogged through the warmups, cleats squeaking and breath visible in the chilly air.
I rolled my shoulder as I stepped out with the rest of the guys, but I wasn’t preparing for the game. I was trying to dislodge the stone that had made a home in my chest, but it wasn’t working because the second I reached the sideline, I saw her.
Elizabeth was standing with the cheerleading squad. Her gorgeous body was wrapped in her Havenport jacket. Her hair was pulled into a loose ponytail that bounced with each movement she made. And there was something clutched in her hand. A granola bar, of course…
She spotted me almost immediately, and her face softened into the small smile she always gave me before a game.
It was that exact smile that always made my nerves disappear, but today was different.
Instead of helping, it just made everything worse.
She came toward me and my heart did a little flip, but I didn’t give in.
I couldn’t, so I turned around, hoping she’d get the point.
I grabbed my helmet from the bench and walked straight past her, acting like I hadn’t seen her at all.
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught the confused look that flashed across her face as she slowed to a stop, with the granola bar still hanging loosely in her hand.
My heart squeezed in the cavity in my chest, but I kept walking anyway.
“Ethan!” Cam said as he jogged up beside me and tossed me the ball. “Are you alive?”
I caught the ball automatically. “Yeah man. I’m good to go.”
Cam squinted at me. “Are you sure? You kinda look like someone just told you puppies aren’t real.”
“I’m fine, dude.”
Cam didn’t look convinced at all, but the whistle blew before he could argue. I knew he wasn’t wrong, and I needed to get my shit together quickly, but it was easier said than done.
“Warmups! Let’s go,” Harris said with a clap.
We lined up across the field, running our normal passing drills.
I dropped back and planted my feet before firing the ball toward Cam, who was running a short slant.
The ball sailed high. Cam jumped up and barely tipped it with his fingers before it bounced away.
As he landed, his gaze moved to me, and he stared for a good long moment.
“What the fuck, dude?” He asked, and his annoyance couldn’t be more clear.
I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly. “It must’ve been the wind.”
He slowly looked around the stadium and raised his hands. “There is no fucking wind!”
“Let’s just run it again.”
Cam shook his head but jogged back into position without protesting it.
Across the field, the Endicott players ran aggressive tackle drills to the point where their pads were slamming together in full thuds.
Unlike ours, their sideline looked sharp and energized.
I tried to focus and failed miserably, then the whistle blew. It was game time.
Bundled-up spectators slowly filled the stands, and their voices blended into a low roar as the teams lined up for kickoff. We received first.
“Let’s go!” Cam shouted in the huddle. “It’s the first drive. Set the tone.”
I clapped once. “Trips to the right and slant options. Are you ready?”
“Break!”
We lined up, and there was a snap. I dropped back, scanning the field as Lucas cut across the middle.
Cam broke right, and for just a moment, the play looked perfect.
That was until my grip slipped on the damp ball.
The pass wobbled, and Lucas reached, but it bounced off his hands. Of course it has to be incomplete.
Lucas jogged back, shaking his head. “Try aiming a little lower, man.”
I nodded. “Yeah, that was my bad. I’m sorry.”
The next play started, and I managed to hand off to Dylan.
An Endicott linebacker burst through the line and wrapped him up almost immediately.
For the third down, I called another pass play.
There was a snap, and I stepped back. My eyes flickered to the sideline without meaning to, and I saw Elizabeth standing there.
She wasn’t doing anything special. She was just standing there, watching me.
The hesitation lasted less than a second, but it was enough. The defensive end slammed into me just as I released the ball. The pass fell short. Punt team.
Cam jogged past me and asked, “Are you good?”
“Yeah,” I mumbled.
But the knot in my stomach tightened as soon as the words left my mouth.
We started the second quarter, but our rhythm never came.
On the first drive, I scrambled when the pocket collapsed.
My cleat slipped on the wet turf, and I went down hard before gaining the first down.
Groans came from our sideline as Lucas pulled me up.
He gave me a pointed look. “You have seriously got to stop slipping, man.”
“I know,” I muttered.
During our next possession, Lucas broke open downfield. He was wide open, but I saw him too late. I threw, and the safety nearly intercepted it. Lucas jogged toward me, and his frustration was clear.
“Ethan! I was open five seconds ago.”
“I know,” I scoffed.
“Don’t keep telling me you know. Throw the damn ball.”
Cam stepped between us to stop any potential fight that might arise because of this.
“Hey!” Cam said firmly. “Just focus, and it will be okay.”
I ran my hand over my head, forgetting that I was still wearing my helmet.
“I am focused,” I snapped.
But I wasn’t, because every time I looked at the sideline she was there watching me with that sad look on her face. And every single time I saw her, the same thought hit me like a punch in the gut. She had spent the night with someone else, and there was no working around it.
The third quarter was worse than all the rest. I fumbled a snap when the ball slipped in my wet glove.
Endicott used it to their advantage and quickly recovered.
Of course their crowd exploded with cheers.
Not long after that, I overthrew Cam on what was supposed to be an easy pass. It was enough to piss him off as well.
He ripped his helmet off and stormed up to me. “What the hell is going on with you today?”
I didn’t answer him because I didn’t know how to explain that I was having girl problems with a chick I wasn’t in a relationship with.
And that goes without mentioning that no woman should be able to affect my game this much.
I hated the amount of control she had over me.
That she could bring me to this level without even saying a word to my face.
But by the fourth quarter, the scoreboard was telling everyone the whole story. Endicott had the lead, and we were more desperate than a hooker who had a bad night. I called one last deep play, hoping it would at least give us something.
There was a snap. Lucas sprinted to the sideline, and Cam cut across the middle.
I threw, and once again, it was too high.
Lucas jumped as high as he could, but he still couldn’t reach it.
There was a turnover on the downs and the final whistle blew a few minutes later.
Endicott’s sideline erupted in celebration while we stood scattered across the field with heavy shoulders and loosely hanging helmets.
“What the hell happened back there?” Cam snapped as he approached me.
No one answered. Dylan just kicked at a loose water bottle that was lying on the field. Harris didn’t even yell, and for some weird reason that almost felt worse.
“Get yourselves cleaned up,” Harris said quietly. “The bus leaves in forty minutes.”
The locker room was even quieter than the field. If you asked me, I’d say it was far too quiet for any good to come out of there. Eventually, Lucas spoke up and cut through the tension.
“There’s a pool bar a couple of blocks from here,” he said casually. “We could stop for a drink before heading back.”
“Two drinks,” Cam countered.
“At least three,” Dylan muttered.
A few weak chuckles spread through the room, but then Lucas looked at me and the entire atmosphere shifted.
“You coming?” He asked.
I looked over at the rest of the guys and shook my head. “Nah. I’m going to sit this one out.”
Cam frowned. “Seriously? I think you need a drink more than the rest of us.”
“That’s exactly why I’m refusing,” I admitted.
I knew it was going to turn into a discussion, so I grabbed my jacket and made my way to the door.
“I’ll see you guys on the bus,” I said as I stepped out.
The second I stepped out of the building, an ice-cold breeze slammed its way into my painful body. It was a lot colder than when we arrived. The stadium lights were the only thing I had to guide my way to the bus. And for the first time ever, I was actually happy to see it.
“Ethan?” she said, sending an instant chill down my spine.
I stopped and turned to see her jogging toward me. She was slightly out of breath, and a part of me just wanted to fix it. Another part, however, wanted to keep walking, but I couldn’t. Not after everything that had happened between us.
“What?” I asked tiredly.
She stopped a few feet away from me, and her frustration was written all over her usually gentle face.
“What the hell is going on with you today?”
I laughed without humor. “Are you seriously asking me that after the discussion we had at the diner?”
She shifted uncomfortably, and for just a moment, I wanted to slam my fist into something.
“Oh, my God! There you go with your crazy theory again. You didn’t even give me a chance to tell you what really happened, yet you’re holding it over my head like I’m some kind of cheater.”
“Well… aren’t you? I mean, I literally heard the discussion you had with him.”
“No, you didn’t, because if you stayed long enough to hear it all, you’d know he was there for Jenna and not me. It was their second date, actually, in case you were wondering. And he just so happens to be the one guy that she can’t get over.”
I was frozen in place, and yet I could feel the color draining from my face. Either she was the absolute best liar I had ever met, or I was the biggest idiot on the planet.
“What?” I asked as I eventually managed to find my voice.
“Yeah… Jenna met him a while back and they had secretly been seeing each other since. The problem is that he’s like major league into biology and it’s her worst subject so they’re still trying to find something they have in common.”
“Then why were you talking to him?”
“Because Jenna couldn’t tell a bee from a fly, and I was trying to keep him from embarrassing her. So I was kinda just being the middleman so both of them were entertained and they both managed to talk about the things they liked.”
She was completely out of breath from trying to explain all that as fast as she could. And yet I was still just standing there trying to figure out how on earth I had gotten things so wrong.
I frowned. “So why are they dating if they don’t have anything in common?”
She let out an exasperated breath. “Because he’s actually perfect for her.
He’s sweet and charming and smart, and handsome.
Pretty much everything she needs in a guy.
So she’s giving it a chance to see if they could actually have a future together or if she’s asking for too much.
Oh, and by the way, he was complaining about the same biology test that you had.
Apparently, it was designed for failure. ”
I ran my hand down my face. “I’m such an idiot.”
“Yes, you most definitely are,” she said, crossing her arms. “Because I was literally just trying to help my friend get laid.”
The realization hit me all at once, and it landed like a ton of bricks. Relief flooded into me so hard it made me dizzy, and then the truth of the matter dawned on me.
“Oh, my God,” I whispered under my breath.
Elizabeth watched me carefully, like she was waiting for me to erupt, but at that exact moment, that was the last thing I could think of.
“You were that upset because you thought I had spent the night with some random guy?”
“It sounded like you guys were hitting it off so well,” I shrugged. “I’m so sorry, Elizabeth. This got way out of hand.”
“The question I have, though, is why did something like that affect you so much?” She quirked a brow. “Are you hiding something from us all, Mr. Rose?”
I swallowed the lump in my throat because I was. I hadn’t known it myself until she clarified things, but now that I did, it changed everything between us. She wasn’t just my pillar of strength or study buddy. She had wormed her way into my heart, if not my soul.
“Our entire game was ruined because I couldn’t stop thinking about it,” I admitted sadly.
Her expression softened just a little. “You did look quite miserable out there.”
“I thought you didn’t care about us.” The words came out before I could stop them. “I know we never walked down this road, but hearing you with another guy… It was like I was punched in the chest by God himself. It was the worst feeling I have ever had.”
“I forgive you,” she said, taking my hand. “But just so you know, I haven’t been with anyone other than you since we met, and that isn’t going to change.”
Relief washed over me like a tidal wave, and in that moment of pure bliss, I realized that Elizabeth was actually freezing her ass off. She still had her cheer skirt on, and the only thing covering her was a flimsy jacket.
“That won’t do,” I mumbled as I lifted her into my arms. “You’re going to freeze out here.”
She giggled but didn’t fight it, so I carried her onto the empty bus and put her down on the back seat.
“You know… I think I might’ve just found a way to make you feel better,” she said, giving me a wicked smile.