Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
The front door closed with a soft click that seemed to echo through the house.
I stood frozen in the middle of the living room, Rory’s cries already quieting as I rocked her automatically against my chest. My mind was a hurricane of thoughts, all of them centered on what had just happened—or more accurately, what had almost happened—with Harper.
I had almost kissed Harper Tinsley.
And from the way she’d looked at me, the way she’d leaned into my touch, she would have let me.
“Jesus,” I muttered, continuing to pace the living room as Rory’s cries subsided into hiccupping little breaths. “What the hell just happened, kid?”
Rory blinked up at me with her gray-blue eyes, completely unconcerned with the fact that she’d just interrupted what might have been the most electric moment of my life.
The way Harper had played that violin had been mesmerizing.
It wasn’t just impressive—it was like she’d somehow translated her soul into sound.
It had been complex and utterly captivating, just like I’d told her.
And watching her while she poured her soul into her music and then seeing the uncertainty on her face when I’d told her how amazing she was had broken any resolve I’d had left.
Touching her had felt as natural as breathing.
“I called her a dying cat,” I said to Rory, the horror of it fresh now that I knew Harper had heard me. “What kind of idiot says something like that about the girl he can’t stop thinking about?”
The realization that we’d spent nearly a decade antagonizing each other over things neither of us had meant made me want to laugh and scream at the same time. All those years wasted on hurt pride and wounded feelings.
God, we really were just as bad as our families.
Rory made a gurgling sound that I chose to interpret as judgment.
“Yeah, exactly. The twelve-year-old idiot kind.” I checked her diaper, found it dry, and moved to the kitchen to prepare a bottle one-handed, a skill I’d perfected over the past few weeks. “And now I’ve gone and complicated everything.”
Because that’s what I’d done. I’d complicated a partnership that had been working surprisingly well.
I’d complicated a fragile friendship that had been forming between us.
And most concerning of all, I’d complicated my already upside-down life by nearly kissing someone who had every reason to distrust me.
And I couldn’t find a single ounce of regret about it.
I could no longer deny that I wanted Harper Tinsley in a way that made me a little crazy.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I shifted Rory to check it, hoping irrationally that it might be Harper.
Liam
Still need me to watch Rory for a bit tonight?
I’d completely forgotten I’d asked him yesterday if he could watch her for a couple of hours so I could get some studying done. Study time was the last thing on my mind now. I just needed to talk to someone before I lost it. I knew he’d been at the library most of the day working on a project.
Me
Can you come now?
Three dots appeared, disappeared, then reappeared.
Liam
Everything ok?
I stared at the screen. Was everything okay? I honestly had no idea.
Me
Not sure. Can explain when you get here.
Twenty minutes later, Liam was sprawled on our couch, Rory sleeping peacefully on his chest while I paced the living room, recounting everything that had happened with Harper.
“So let me get this straight,” Liam said when I finally stopped talking. “You’re telling me that on top of your families hating each other for generations, you two have been at each other’s throats since sixth grade because of some dumb comments you both overheard?”
“Pretty much,” I admitted, running a hand through my hair.
“That’s next-level petty, even for you, Monty.” Liam smirked, carefully adjusting Rory as she stirred. “Though it explains why you’ve never shut up about her.”
“I did not—”
“Save it,” Liam cut me off with an eye roll. “The team had a running bet on how long it would take for you to mention her name at pre-game. Record was three minutes, by the way.”
I stared at him, heat rising to my face. “You’re full of shit.”
“Am I?” His grin widened. “Face it, man. You’ve been obsessed with her forever. You just called it something else.”
“Fuck.” Was he right? I mean, could I even deny it when I was still craving a kiss I never got like her lips were a new drug I’d gotten hooked on?
“You know, this is kinda like those movies where people who can’t stand each other realize they’re perfect for each other.”
I stopped pacing and collapsed into the armchair across from him.
“This isn’t a movie, Liam. This is my actual life, which is already complicated enough.
” I gestured toward Rory. “I’m still figuring out how to be a father.
I’m barely keeping up with classes. Thank fuck the hockey season is over or else I’d be struggling even worse. And now this thing with Harper…”
“What thing? Nothing’s actually happened yet, right?”
“No, but…” I gestured vaguely, struggling to find the right words. “Something’s there. You should have seen how she looked at me, Liam. And I just—I don’t know if I should pursue it.”
“Because of Rory?”
“Partly,” I admitted. “Everything I do affects her now. Every decision I make, every relationship I have—it all impacts her life too.”
“And you think Harper wouldn’t be good with Rory around?”
“No, that’s not it at all.” In fact, the image of Harper playing her violin for Rory someday made my chest tight in a way I couldn’t quite explain.
“It’s more like what if we try this and it blows up?
I can’t do anything that could ultimately hurt Rory.
And Harper…” I hesitated, surprising myself with how important this next part felt.
“Harper deserves someone who can give her his full attention, you know? Not someone who’s figuring out how to be a father while juggling his classes. ”
Liam was quiet for a moment, his hand gently patting Rory’s back. “Those are a lot of assumptions about what Harper wants or needs, man.”
“I know.”
“So what are you going to do?”
I stared at the ceiling, thinking of the way Harper had looked at me just before Rory cried—eyes wide, lips parted, a mixture of confusion and desire that had made my heart race. “I don’t know. I need to think. I need to be careful here.”
“Because of Rory,” Liam said, but this time it wasn’t a question.
“Yeah.” I glanced at my daughter, so tiny against Liam’s chest, so completely dependent on me to make the right choices for both of us. “It’s not just about what I want anymore. I can’t just leap without looking.”
“That’s surprisingly mature of you, Monty.”
I snorted. “Don’t sound so shocked.”
“I’m not. I’m proud of you. You’ve changed a lot since she arrived,” Liam said, nodding at Rory. “In a good way.”
We fell into silence, the only sound Rory’s occasional little snores.
“You know,” Liam said, breaking the silence, “being careful doesn’t mean not taking any chances at all. It just means taking the right ones, at the right time, for the right reasons.”
I looked at him, surprised by the insight. “When did you get so wise?”
He grinned. “I’ve always been wise. You’ve just been too busy being an idiot to notice.”
I threw a pillow at him, careful to avoid hitting Rory. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“Anytime.” He shifted Rory slightly, looking down at her with a softness that still surprised me coming from my normally sarcastic friend.
“You know, having a kid doesn’t mean you can’t have anything else in your life.
It just means you have to be more thoughtful about what else you choose to include. ”
I’d been thinking of my feelings for Harper as a complication, something that might distract me from being the father Rory needed. But maybe that wasn’t the right way to look at it. Maybe it was about making space for both, if that’s what I decided I wanted.
“I need to slow down,” I said finally. “Take some time to think about what I really want, what’s best for Rory, and what Harper might want too. No impulsive decisions.”
“Again, surprisingly mature.”
“Stop saying that like it’s a miracle.”
Liam laughed, then grew serious again. “For what it’s worth, I think Harper’s good for you. I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you look at her, especially lately. And the way you talk about her? I mean, come on.”
I felt heat rise to my face. “That obvious, huh?”
“You’ve got it bad, my friend.”
I groaned, covering my face with my hands. “I know.”
“So you’re really going to take some time to figure this out?”
“Yeah. Harper’s got her audition tomorrow, so she’s focused on that, as she should be. That fellowship means everything to her.”
Liam nodded approvingly. “And after that?”
I took a deep breath, uncertainty and possibility swirling together in my chest. “After that, I guess we’ll see.”