Chapter 36
THIRTY-SIX
“For fuck’s sake, it’s just a date,” I muttered to my reflection, running a hand through my hair for the tenth time.
But it wasn’t just a date, was it?
This was Harper.
The woman I’d spent years fighting with and one mind-blowing week fucking senseless at every opportunity.
The woman who made me forget my own name when her lips were wrapped around my cock.
The woman who knew exactly how to soothe Rory when she was fussy.
I grabbed a different shirt from my closet—the green one Harper had said matched the green in my hazel eyes when she’d peeled it off me in the library stacks three days ago.
From her bouncer, Rory squealed and kicked her legs, tiny hands reaching toward me. At least one female in my life wasn’t complicated.
“What do you think, sweet girl?” I scooped her up, inhaling that addictive baby smell. “Does this shirt say, ‘I’m responsible enough to raise a human but still hot enough that Harper won’t be able to keep her hands off me?’”
Rory’s answer was a stream of drool that bubbled down her chin.
I laughed and wiped it away, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
Even covered in drool, she looked perfect in the little yellow dress my mom had gotten for her.
It was crazy how fast she was growing. She’d already outgrown half the clothes we’d gotten for her when she first arrived.
I checked my phone. I had five minutes before I needed to pick Harper up. I didn’t know why I was a nervous wreck. I could have this woman’s legs wrapped around my waist in a practice room without breaking a sweat, but the thought of taking her on a real date with my daughter made my hands shake.
Maybe because this was kind of my first date ever.
I was familiar with sex and picking up women, but I’d never wanted anything serious. I’d never wanted to impress a woman.
But I wanted to impress Harper. I wanted her to see I could be someone she could trust and rely on—not the asshole I’d been to her most of our lives.
Fuck it. I’d be early, but I couldn’t just stand around here and wait when I was dying to see her again.
I scooped up Rory, grabbed the diaper bag I’d packed with everything I could possibly need, and headed for the door. Rory babbled happily as I made the short walk over to Harper’s and knocked on her front door.
My breath seized in my lungs when she opened it. Her hair fell around her shoulders, her red curls soft and shiny. She wore a simple blue dress, and despite its modesty, my imagination went wild knowing what was underneath.
“Hi,” she said, a slight blush creeping up her neck as she scanned down my body. I was glad I changed my shirt if this was the reaction. Her face lit up with a smile when she focused on Rory. “There’s my favorite girl.”
Fuck, this woman was going to ruin me.
Rory smiled a gummy smile and turned toward Harper, who easily took her from me, both of them looking at each other with matching grins on their faces.
They were picture perfect.
But more importantly, they were both mine.
My heart was fuller than I’d ever known was possible.
“You look fucking gorgeous,” I said, leaning in to kiss her properly. No more hiding. I wanted everyone to see us together, to see me with my girls.
She melted against me for a moment before pulling back, her eyes dancing. “Language around the baby, Dumontier. You keep that up and her first word is probably going to be a swear word.”
I smiled. “Probably.”
She shook her head at me, but her smile gave her away—she thought I was cute.
“So where are you taking me for this date?”
“Toscana for dinner. They have that butternut squash ravioli you mentioned wanting to try.” Her eyes lit up and I instantly felt ten feet tall. “Then I thought we could check out the outdoor concert happening at Riverside Park tonight.”
“That sounds perfect. I can’t believe you remembered my off-handed comment about the ravioli.”
I grabbed her hand as she closed the door. “I told you, I remember everything about you,” I confessed. “Even back when I pretended not to give a shit what you said.”
She laughed and the sound shot straight through me. “That explains a lot.”
Toscana was exactly what I’d hoped for—intimate but not stuffy, with warm lighting that made Harper’s hair look like sultry fire and soft enough music that we could actually talk. The hostess led us to a corner table, and I caught the way she smiled when she saw Rory in her carrier.
“Right this way,” she said warmly. “Your baby is adorable. Will you need a high chair?”
“Uh, she’s okay in the carrier, but thanks.”
I settled Rory’s carrier between us, angling it so she could see both of us. My hands were fucking shaking as I unfolded my napkin.
“You okay?” Harper asked, studying my face. “You seem tense.”
“I’m fine.” I cleared my throat, adjusting Rory’s carrier for the third time. “Just making sure everything’s…you know.”
“Drew.” Harper reached across the table, covering my hand with hers. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing’s wrong.”
“You’re fidgeting. You never fidget. Even when you’re stressed about Rory or school, you don’t fidget.” She tilted her head, those brown eyes seeing right through me. “You’re acting really weird.”
Fuck. I was acting weird.
But it was worse that she noticed it.
Our waitress appeared before I could answer, asking about drinks. I ordered us both Cokes without checking if Harper wanted one, then immediately second-guessed myself.
Double fuck. Did women like when you ordered for them or not? I swore I remembered Ava saying it was romantic when the guy got the order right because it showed that he knew you. But what if Harper didn’t want Coke tonight?
“Actually, do you even want Coke? I should have asked. Or we could get—”
“Drew.” Harper’s voice was gentle but firm. “Breathe.” She turned to the waitress. “Coke is fine.”
After the waitress left, she leaned forward. “Seriously, what’s going on? You were fine twenty minutes ago.”
I ran a hand through my hair, trying to figure out how to explain this without sounding like a complete loser. “I’m freaking out a little.”
“Freaking out about what?”
“This. Tonight.”
Her face shuttered and she sat back. “Are you saying you’re embarrassed to be seen with me?”
The hurt and confusion on her face confirmed it. I was massively fucking this up.
“No! I meant about taking you somewhere nice.” I gestured around the restaurant.
“I wanted it to be perfect, and now I’m second-guessing everything.
” Maybe I should’ve gotten a babysitter and taken her out without the baby.
But Toscana was listed online as family friendly, and I’d already been asking my friends and family to babysit a ton for my classes.
Harper blinked. “You’re nervous? About dinner?”
I grabbed the back of my neck. “Maybe.”
“Drew Dumontier, who walks into any room like he owns it, is nervous about taking me to dinner? And you expect me to believe that?”
When she put it like that, it sounded ridiculous. But that’s because she didn’t know the full truth. “This is different.”
“Different how?”
I looked down at Rory, who was playing with the tips of her socks. Knowing her, she’d have them pulled off and tossed to the side in the next five minutes. I envied her obliviousness at my stress.
“I’ve never done this before.”
Harper stared at me like she wasn’t sure what I was talking about. “Done what?”
“This. Dinner. Dates in general.” The words came out in a rush. “I don’t know what I’m doing here, Harper.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Wait. Are you saying you’ve never been on a date before?”
I shook my head. “No. Never.”
“How is that possible?”
I shrugged. God, I didn’t want to admit any of this—it didn’t make me look good in the slightest. “Girls were only ever for sex. I didn’t need to wine and dine them for it.
I’d flirt at parties or whatever and that was that.
There’s never been anyone I wanted more than one night with. Not until you.”
“Oh.” Her shoulders relaxed and she nibbled her lip as she processed.
“Yeah. So if I’m acting like I have no clue what I’m doing, it’s because I literally have no clue what I’m doing.”
Harper was quiet for a long moment, just looking at me. Then her mouth curved into a small smile.
“Drew.”
“What?”
“You called ahead to make sure they had the butternut squash ravioli I mentioned wanting to try…what? Weeks ago when we still didn’t even really like each other.”
“So?”
“So you listened to some random comment I made and planned an entire evening around it.” Her smile grew. “I think you’re doing just fine.”
“Really?”
“Really.” She squeezed my hand. “Although next time, maybe don’t stress yourself out so much. I’m not exactly high maintenance.”
“Maybe, but you deserve high maintenance treatment.”
Her cheeks flushed a rosy color that had my thoughts immediately circling the drain. “That’s sweet of you to say, but really I just want to be with you. And her,” she added with a nod to Rory. “Fancy restaurant or not.”
I felt some of the tension leave my shoulders. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Harper grinned. “Although, I won’t lie, witnessing you nervous was kind of adorable. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
“Too late.”
Our server returned with the drinks, and this time when I looked at the menu, I didn’t feel like I was going to mess everything up. Both my girls were happy, and Harper just wanted to be with me.
Maybe I could do this whole boyfriend thing after all.