Chapter 28
TWENTY-EIGHT
I’d spent nine days avoiding Ava at all costs—which was no small feat given I worked for her dad and her parents loved me, inviting me to dinner every chance they got.
Nine days of grueling work with Mr. D, even coming to shifts after hockey camp days.
Nine days of falling into bed so exhausted I could barely think.
Nine days of telling myself that space was the smart play—that if I just stayed away long enough, whatever the hell was happening inside my chest would sort itself out.
It hadn’t.
If anything, the distance had made it worse.
And the worst part? She didn’t seem to notice.
Or if she did, she didn’t care. She’d only texted me once since our last night in the barn, and when I’d brushed her off, she hadn’t tried again.
She hadn’t stopped by the job site or shown up with lunch after my camp sessions with the kids.
She hadn’t given me a single indication that my absence mattered to her at all.
Which was exactly what I wanted. What I’d been aiming for.
So why did it piss me the fuck off so much?
Irritation was simmering under the surface, but when I’d run into an old high school buddy, Colton Hughes, at the grocery store, he’d invited me to a party he was throwing at the river and I’d stupidly agreed to go.
Now, as I pulled up, I wondered why I bothered. The only person I was itching to see was Ava, and I doubted having to play nice with others was going to improve my mood any.
The river party was in full swing by the time I got there.
Someone had strung lights through the trees along the bank, and a bonfire crackled near the water’s edge.
Half of Meadowbrook’s summer crowd was scattered across the sandy beach—mostly other kids I’d gone to high school with, some who’d never left Meadowbrook and others who were home for the summer like me.
The more people I saw from high school, the more I started to wonder if Colton had invited Ava.
I grabbed a beer from a cooler and told myself I wasn’t looking for her, even as my gaze bounced over every brunette, searching.
And then I spotted her.
She was standing right at the edge of the water with a group of girls we went to school with, her head thrown back in laughter at something one of them said.
She was wearing a crop top that showed off her toned stomach and a pair of cutoff shorts that did nothing to hide her long legs that had been wrapped around me more times than I could count.
It took every ounce of willpower to look away before I did something stupid. Like walk over there and put my hands on her in front of everyone. Or tell the whole damn town that she was mine.
She’s not yours, I reminded myself. She was never yours. That’s not the deal.
I took a long pull of my beer and forced myself to find a spot on the opposite side of the bonfire. Far enough that I couldn’t hear her voice, but close enough that I could still see her if I turned my head.
I didn’t turn my head.
For about ten minutes.
When I finally gave in and looked, my blood went cold.
Jackson Cline had materialized next to her like a bad rash, with his too-white teeth and asshole swagger.
I’d known Jackson since middle school—he’d been a douchebag then and he was a douchebag now.
He was the kind of guy who peaked in high school, but he acted like he was God’s gift to women.
And now he was smiling at mine like she was his next conquest.
Over my dead fucking body.
I ground my molars as I watched him leaning into her space, one hand bracing on the large rock beside her, like he was boxing her in.
She hadn’t moved away, but she hadn’t moved closer either.
Her smile looked polite. But at this point I couldn’t tell if that was really how she felt or how I hoped she felt.
She’s fine, I told myself. She can handle Jackson fucking Cline.
But then he touched her. His smarmy fingers slid down her bare arm, and red flooded my vision.
I was moving before I made the conscious decision to do so.
I couldn’t just stand by watching another man touch the woman I—
I couldn’t finish the thought.
“Ava.”
She turned at the sound of my voice, and something flickered across her face. Surprise, maybe. I couldn’t tell, and right now I didn’t care.
“Liam.” She said my name with the utmost control like I hadn’t been inside her only nine days ago. “I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”
“I couldn’t stay away.” I didn’t look at Jackson. Couldn’t. If I looked at him, I’d do something I’d regret. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
Jackson finally registered my presence, his expression shifting from confusion to irritation. “We’re kind of in the middle of a conversation, man.”
“No, you’re not.” I still didn’t look at him. My eyes were locked on Ava’s, and I let her see everything I’d been trying to hide for the past nine days. The wanting. The frustration. The fear. “Ava. Please.”
She studied me for a long moment and I watched her weigh her options—stay here with Jackson, or come with me and give me what I was asking for.
“Excuse me,” she said to Jackson, her voice perfectly polite. “I’ll catch up with you later.”
She wouldn’t and we both knew it.
I didn’t touch her as we walked away from the party, but I wanted to. God, I wanted to. I led her along the riverbank until the noise faded and the firelight was just a distant glow through the trees, and then I stopped.
“How’ve you been?”
“That’s seriously how you want to play this right now?” Her words came out harsher than I was used to from her.
“What do you mean?”
She raised an eyebrow. “We’ve never played games. Don’t start now.”
I ran my hand through my hair, my frustration and irritation reaching a fever pitch.
“Nine days.” The words came out hard.
“Excuse me?”
“Nine fucking days, Ava. I’ve been—” I broke off, shaking my head while I tried to organize my thoughts so I didn’t look like the lovesick fool she’d turned me into. “I’ve been trying to get my head on straight, and you haven’t even reached out except the once.”
She crossed her arms, and there it was. The fire I’d been missing.
“You mean I haven’t chased after you? Haven’t begged you to tell me what’s wrong?
” She stepped closer, and I could smell her strawberry shampoo, and that vanilla-cinnamon body lotion—not perfume like I’d originally thought—that haunted my dreams. “You clearly needed space. I gave you space. Isn’t that what you wanted? ”
“No.” The admission ripped out of me. “I don’t know what I want. But it’s not—” I gestured vaguely back toward the party. “It’s not watching Jackson Cline put his goddamn hands on you.”
“Jackson was just talking to me.”
“He was trying to fuck you.”
Her eyes flashed. “And what if he was? What if I wanted him to?”
I knew she was pushing my buttons—testing me. Trying to see how far she could shove before I shoved back.
I closed the distance between us in one step, my hands finding her hips, pulling her flush against me.
“Then I’d lose my fucking mind,” I said, my voice rough. “Because I can’t—” I pressed my forehead to hers, squeezing my eyes shut. “I can’t do this anymore, Ava. The distance. The pretending.”
Her breath hitched. Her hands came up to rest on my chest, but she didn’t push me away.
“Pretending what?”
“Pretending it’s just about the list.”
Her eyes were wide, but cautious. “What are you saying?”
I didn’t have an answer. I didn’t have words for the tornado ripping through my chest. All I knew was that the thought of her with someone else—anyone else—made me want to burn the world down.
“I’m saying I don’t want space.” I kissed her forehead.
Her temple. The corner of her mouth. “I’m saying I don’t want to flirt with other girls to keep up appearances, and I can’t stand the thought of you flirting with other guys.
” Another kiss, this one landing on her jaw.
“I’m saying that the only person I want is you, and it scares the hell out of me, but losing you scares me more. ”
She pulled back just far enough to look at me, her eyes searching my face. “Liam…”
“I know.” I swallowed hard. “I know this wasn’t the deal. I know I’m breaking all the rules. But I can’t—”
She gripped my face and kissed me.
It wasn’t gentle. It wasn’t tentative. It was fierce and claiming and exactly what I needed. I hauled her closer, one hand tangled in her hair, the other splayed across her lower back, and I kissed her like I’d been starving for her.
Because I had been. Nine days without her taste, her touch, her voice in my ear had been fucking hell.
But this moment right here was heaven.
And even though I had no idea what came next, I knew one thing for sure.
I was done running.