21. Jordan
JORDAN
I fell asleep texting Daisy. I invited her over, but it’s probably better she didn’t make it because I’m not sure I could have made good on the sexy things I was texting her all night. Though I happily would have tried.
And I absolutely cannot have sex with her until I talk to Liam and tell him what’s going on with Daisy and me. It’s been weighing on me all week.
Liam’s in the living room, picking up when I come out of my room.
“Hey.” I glance around the small space. It’s become a bit of a disaster area with all the practices, games, studying, and partying. “You got a minute?”
“Have you seen my phone charger?” He lifts a blanket from the couch.
“No, but I have an extra you can use.” I run into my room to get it and bring it back.
“Thanks.” He sits on the couch and plugs it into the nearest outlet. “I must have left it at the hotel.”
“I’m usually the one leaving shit behind,” I say as I grab a Powerade and have a seat with him.
I have no idea how to broach the subject of Daisy, and my palms are sweaty.
If Liam says he still likes her, I can’t see her anymore (which will fucking suck).
But it doesn’t take back what I’ve already done. He might hate me for that.
He lets out a long breath and sinks into the cushion. “Man, I have never looked forward to winter break more than this year.”
We only get a week because of games and practice, but most of the guys are excited about some time off to visit family and let their bodies rest.
“Yeah,” I say, but I don’t really mean it.
Going home and this time of year specifically remind me of Mark. It was an awful December night over break my freshman year that he died. Try as I might, I can’t seem to feel the same excitement over visiting family and friends for the holidays anymore.
Friends from high school will be partying, and my family has big get-togethers. It’s basically going to be a week of nonstop partying.
I’ll attend all of it, putting on a happy face and trying to enjoy it like I know Mark would have.
He was the life of the party, always smiling and having a good time.
I swore after he died that I’d aim to live my life the same way, and in general, I’ve made good on that; but I know that week I’m home, I’ll be faking it and counting down the days to return to Valley.
Liam’s phone comes alive, and he sets it down next to him. “I’m going to shower and then head to the library to study for finals.”
He stands and then pauses. “Wait, did you say you needed something?”
“Nah. I’ll catch you later.”
I’ll tell him another time. Let him at least get through finals before I add to the stress.
It’s in the last week of the semester that I realize how busy my schedule is. I’ve never tried to fit in spending time with a girl. Though I doubt she needs it, Daisy studies hard for her classes, and that’s especially true for her final exams.
I meet up with her in the library one afternoon after practice. She’s got her dark blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, and she twists the end around a finger as she reads. She’s wearing her daisy charm necklace today and it always makes me smile.
When she glances up to find me staring, she grins. “You’re supposed to be studying.”
“Oh, I am.”
“I need to go find another resource book.” She stands, and I automatically push to my feet.
Laughing, she slows her steps to let me catch up. I follow her to the back corner of the library where books line tall shelves. She stops and lets her fingers trail over the spines of the books. I wrap my arms around her waist from behind and place a kiss on her neck.
While tilting her head to give me better access, she pulls out a book and opens it. “I have to finish studying.”
I bite her playfully. “What are you working on?”
“An essay on Thoreau for my final in American Lit.”
I take the book and flip it open. Then I read from the biography. “American philosopher, poet, and environmental scientist. Best known for his book, Walden and his essay, Civil Disobedience.” I close it with a snap. “Sounds riveting. I can think of a better way to fill the time.”
I sweep my lips over hers and back her up against the shelves. Her hands slide under my T-shirt and along my stomach muscles. The girl likes my abs.
“Born in Massachusetts in 1817. He attended Harvard College,” she recites.
“Oh yeah?” I ask, kissing up the column of her neck. “Tell me more about Thoreau, beautiful.”
She does, stating random facts as I glide my lips along her soft skin. I don’t hear a lot of it. I’m too wrapped up in her. She consumes me. Kissing her, touching her, just being near her alters everything around me where it’s only her.
“His later works include Autumnal Tints, The Succession of Trees, and…” Her voice wavers, and she lets out a little sigh as I suck lightly on her neck.
“And?”
“I can’t remember.”
I open the book. Who would have thought I’d be spending my afternoon reading Thoreau?
“Here it is,” I say.
She looks up at me with hooded blue eyes. “What is it?”
“You tell me.”
“I don’t care anymore,” she says, and tries to kiss me.
I take a step back. “Tsk, tsk, sweet Daisy.”
She cares. Maybe not right this second, but no way I’m letting her off so easy.
She growls and tries to reach for the book.
“No cheating.” I move closer, dip my head so my lips are within millimeters of her neck, and blow lightly, teasing her.
She leans into my touch, eliciting a laugh from me.
“Give me a hint.”
“One of them starts with a W.”
“Wild Apples,” she says quickly, looking so damn proud of herself.
I love it when she smiles at me like she’s doing now. I feel a thousand feet tall.
“A-plus.” I drop a soft kiss to her lips.
“You’re a really good tutor.” She wraps her arms around my neck. “And really, really good with your mouth.”
On the last day of our lab, I stare at her, wondering how the hell she got so far under my skin.
“We did it!” she exclaims after we turn in our tests.
Liam holds up his hand for a high five. She slaps his palm and then looks at me. With a smirk, I lift my hand, let her slap it, then curl my fingers around hers, holding on a fraction longer.
I go to Daisy’s Friday afternoon before she leaves for home. Violet opens the door with a scowl. “Finals are over.”
“Uh, yeah,” I say.
“Why are you here?”
“Vi,” Daisy admonishes and pulls the door wider to let me in. “Ignore her. Come on. I have your notes upstairs.”
“Notes. Right.” I smirk and push past her cousin to follow Daisy upstairs.
“Sorry about that,” she says as she closes the door.
I sprawl out on her bed with my feet hanging off the side. “What time are you leaving?”
“An hour. I’m following Violet. We’re meeting her parents for dinner, and then I’m driving the rest of the way to Flagstaff.”
“Sounds nice.”
She shrugs. “What about you?”
“Not sure. Maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow.”
“You don’t seem very excited,” she notes. “Liam was practically bouncing yesterday to have a week off hockey.”
“I like hockey.”
“You can like something and still want a break from it.”
I grab her by the waist and pull her down on top of me. I’ve barely had time to work my hand under her shirt when there’s a knock at the door.
“Daisy?” Violet calls from the other side.
She scrambles off me, face bright red. “Just a sec.”
I sit up, and she walks over to the door, then smooths a hand down her hair and over her mouth before she opens the door. “What’s up?”
“How long until you’re ready?”
“Uhh. I thought we weren’t leaving for another hour.”
“It took me less time to pack than I thought. Your stuff is already in the car, yeah?”
Daisy nods. They share some sort of silent communication, and then Daisy says, “Give me five minutes.”
She shuts the door and then turns to face me.
“Five minutes, huh?”
She straddles me and glides her hands along my chest and around to my back. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’ll swing by and see if Gavin wants to grab food or something.”
“You’re really avoiding going home.” Her brows lift in question.
“It’s not my favorite time of year.”
“You don’t like the holidays?” Her expression goes serious. “Oh no, are you a grinch?”
I laugh. “No, it’s just… my buddy, Mark…” I search for the right words. It isn’t something I really talk about with anyone but my friends from high school. No one else really gets it in the same way. They’re supportive, but unless you’ve lost someone like that, it’s hard to understand.
Her mouth makes an O. “Oh my gosh. He died on the twenty-third.”
I nod. “We were at a party to celebrate everyone being home for break.”
She wraps herself around me and squeezes tight. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks.” I clear my throat and lift her off me. I stand, and then she does too, watching me with sympathetic eyes.
“I should go so you can get on the road. Have a nice break.” I start toward the door.
“Wait.” Daisy goes to her desk and grabs a black folder. She holds it to her chest as she walks to me. “Your notes.”
I flip it open to see what she means. I thought that was just something she made up so Violet wouldn’t know we were messing around, but inside is the sketch she was working on in the tree house.
“I finally got your mouth right,” she says with a proud smile.
Behind it are a few more, one of me in my hockey gear, another of me sitting at a table a lot like the one from the physics lab. She drew my profile like she was sketching it the way she saw it in class. And finally, one of my back with the tattoo for Mark.
My chest tightens.
“Do you like them?” Her smile falters, and she sounds unsure. Probably because I still haven’t spoken as I stare down at the pages. It’s like she captured all the things that make me, me, in a few drawings.
“You can just toss them or whatever. I just wanted you to see them, so you didn’t think I was creepily sketching pictures of you and tucking them away like some sort of obsess?—”
I cut her off by bringing my lips down on hers. She squeaks her surprise and then flings her arms around my neck.
“I like them,” I say.