25. Violet
VIOLET
“You know, when you said you wanted to take me on a date, I did not imagine it would include wearing a bikini.”
“All the best dates require swimwear.” Gavin treads water in front of me, his wet hair shining under the twinkle lights.
The sun has set, and the air has cooled off.
I came over as soon as he got back from practice, and he had a whole poolside party thing happening for the two of us, complete with a cooler filled with water, soda, and seltzer, and music pumping through the outdoor speakers.
It’s such a great outdoor space. When it’s crammed with people, it’s hard to really appreciate it, but we’ve played washers in the yard (I won) and volleyball in the pool (we didn’t keep score because he was killing me) and floated on big inflatable animal rafts (Gavin somehow still looks hot sitting on top of a unicorn).
Sometime ago, we moved to the deep end, keeping everything but our heads below the surface to keep warm.
I skim my hand across the water and then send a splash in his direction.
Gavin closes his eyes for a second, his smile already pulling up both corners of his lips.
Water drops slide down his chiseled jaw and I want to reach out and capture them.
“I guess we’ll have to go out again until I figure out something that feels like a real date to you,” he says as his hand under the water finds the curve of my hip. His fingertips slip along my skin, as he draws me closer.
It’s been the best date, but I don’t tell him that.
Some part of me still needs to keep the full weight of my feelings for him to myself.
Ninety-nine percent of the time it feels so easy being with him and I want to let down my guard completely, but then I have these moments of panic that I’m about to willingly fling myself off the ledge of a cliff and he won’t be there to catch me.
“Are you hungry?” His fingers stop exploring but stay glued to my side.
“A little,” I admit.
We get out of the pool and Gavin grabs our towels and tosses me one. I wrap the fluffy blue material around my body and squeeze some of the water from my hair.
Gavin runs his towel over his head and then tosses it on a lounge chair. His body is insane. Red trunks sit low on his trim hips and mold to his thighs. He has a smattering of dark hair on his chest that trails down his stomach.
“I’ll be right back. I’m going to put the pizza in the oven,” he says. My gaze is still on his abs, which freaking glisten, when he looks at me, so I quickly look to the ground.
“Okay.”
I feel his smile more than I see it before he turns and heads inside. Walking back over to the pool, I sit on the edge and dangle my feet. I’m staring over at my house across the fence when he comes back out and takes a seat next to me.
“Twenty-five minutes.”
“Hmm?” I ask, giving him my attention.
“The pizza will be ready in twenty-five minutes.” He reaches over and wipes his thumb under my left eye.
“Do I look like a raccoon?”
“A little, but you’re a very cute raccoon. Nothing like those scary ones up in the mountains that barge in on unsuspecting girls who leave the tent open.”
Heat seeps into my cheeks and I bring both hands up to scrub away any mascara.
“It could have been a bear or a mountain lion.”
“Good thing I was there.” The playful taunt in his voice does funny things to my heart rate.
“Yo,” Jenkins calls from the back door, “can we come out of our rooms yet, Dad?”
“Can’t you see I’m still on a date?” Gavin takes my hand and holds them up.
“Yeah, yeah. We’ll behave.” Jenkins pushes the door farther open, and he steps out, followed by Noah and Tommy.
Gavin drops our hands but doesn’t let go.
“You banned them from coming outside?” I ask, smiling as I think about how that conversation must have gone.
“I wanted a few hours with you to myself.” He squeezes my fingers. I really like how gently he does it, and the way my body reacts to such a simple touch. “And I didn’t want it to turn into a scene like last night.”
“You mean a scene like running into every girl you’ve hooked up with in the past year?”
He blanches.
“I’m kidding.”
The guys, except Tommy, get in the pool. They stay at the other end, giving us a little space and privacy.
I slide my hand free, and then stand and let the towel fall to my feet.
Gavin’s gaze lifts slowly, and when his eyes meet mine, they’re filled with warmth.
I’ve never had body issues. Sure, I wish my butt was toner and my stomach flatter, but I’ve accepted it the same way you accept that some people are smarter or have better hair.
I am who I am, and I’ve worked hard to like that person.
But the way he looks at me sparks a confidence inside me that makes me feel like the most beautiful person on the planet. I wonder if that’s how he makes all the girls he hooks up with feel.
I jump in the water and let my body descend toward the bottom of the pool, enjoying the way I feel so weightless and free. When I come back up, Gavin is still sitting and watching me.
“Are you coming in?” I ask, swimming to the side of the pool and wading in front of him.
“Maybe.” He doesn’t move.
I float on my back and kick water in his direction, splashing him until he moves.
He’s quick. So quick that he’s diving in before I realize it and pulling me under the water; I fight against him even as I smile.
We come up together, my arms wrapped around his neck.
“You two want to play volleyball?” Noah asks from the other end of the pool.
Gavin looks to me.
“Which one is better, Noah or Jenkins?” I keep my voice low as I speak.
“Noah, why?”
“No reason.” I push off his shoulders, give him a haughty look, and swim away from him. “I’m on Noah’s team.”
Gavin and I sit at stools in his kitchen, still in our bathing suits, as we devour an entire pizza. His thigh rests against mine and we smile happily at each other, mouths full.
Tommy comes in and goes to the fridge, grinning at us like he’s in on some private joke.
“You two are cute.”
“Fuck off,” Gavin says with a smile and shakes his head.
“I’m serious. You’re giving pops and his new girlfriend a run for their money.”
I swear the temperature around Gavin drops ten degrees.
“What did you say?”
“Your dad and that soap star. I can’t remember her name, but she is smoking hot.”
“Right.” A muscle in his jaw ticks.
“Shit,” Tommy says, “I forgot things were weird between you two. I didn’t mean to?—”
“It’s cool,” Gavin says in a tone that isn’t all that convincing.
Tommy tips his chin. “Are you guys coming back outside?”
Gavin seems lost in his thoughts and doesn’t answer. I shrug and Tommy slips back outside with an apologetic grimace.
When he’s gone, Gavin stands and takes his plate to the sink. I can feel the shift in him, but I don’t completely understand it.
I bring around my plate and he takes it with a smile that reminds me so much of the fake one his dad flashes, and it makes my insides hurt.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” To his credit, the question seems to bring him back a little from wherever he went. “What do you want to do next?”
“Your date, Leonard.”
A small laugh fills the space between us. “Movie?”
“Sure, but I’m going to change first.”
“Same.”
We head up to his room. I changed in the bathroom when I came over, but I’m feeling giddy and a little daring. Gavin is getting dry clothes from his dresser, not paying me any attention when I pull the string from my bikini top and bring the wet material up over my head.
Adrenaline courses through me at the possibility of being caught. I put on my purple bra. It’s warm against my cold, pebbled nipples.
Gavin turns, like he’s going to say something, and then stills. I pull on my tank top next and then hook my fingers into the bikini bottoms. He tracks every movement, and then, as if he’s just realized what he’s doing, spins and mutters, “Sorry. I think I went into a trance there for a second.”
“It’s fine,” I say, quickly. “Nothing you haven’t seen before.”
One side of his mouth quirks up. “And want to see again.”
We change, both of us stealing glances, but not outright gawking.
When we’re both dressed, he asks, “How do you feel about Rocky?”
“The movie?”
“Yes, and before you answer, I feel like I should warn you that this question is a deal breaker.”
I bite back a laugh. “I’ve never seen it.”
“What?” His hair is still a little wet and messy, and he looks so boyish that I can’t help but smile at him. “I am about to blow your mind.”
I sit in front of the TV while Gavin brings out blankets and then gets some snacks and drinks.
Finally, he takes the seat next to me. “Ready?”
He hits play and I curl up in my chair with one of the blankets. Gavin reaches over and rests a hand on my thigh, without taking his eyes off the screen. The lights in the room are off, but the giant TV gives me enough glow to see his reaction when the opening scene starts.
It’s true that I’ve never watched Rocky, but I’ve seen enough clips in my lifetime that I know the basic premise. I’m glad I’m seeing it for the first time with him. He squeezes my leg every time he gets excited over a scene, and during the training montage, he bobs his head to “Eye of the Tiger.”
By the end of the movie, our legs are tangled underneath the same blanket, and I’ve moved so that I’m leaning back against his chest, the smell of popcorn and sunscreen wrapping around us in a happy cocoon.
“What did you think?” he asks as he navigates away from the movie to regular TV. I’m not the least bit surprised when he leaves it on ESPN. Sportscasters sit around a U-shaped desk talking sporty-things. I’m too busy trying to keep a straight face as I say, “Eh. I guess it was okay.”
He doesn’t speak for several moments, and I can’t hold it in for one more second. The laughter bursts out of me, and Gavin mutters, “Oh, that’s it.”
Both of his muscular arms come around my waist to hold me in place, and he tickles me until the only sounds coming out of me are gasps for air.
“Kidding. I was kidding. I liked it.”
“Liked?” His fingers dance along my ribs.
“Loved.” My body floats with happiness. “I meant to say loved.”
Gavin’s assault stops, but when I turn, his gaze is on the TV instead of me.
“What—” I start as I look from him to the monster screen, but I have my answer when Anthony Leonard’s face fills half the screen.
“Thanks for having me,” Gavin’s dad says with that practiced smile.
While the reporter asks him a question, I scoot back in my seat. Gavin’s jaw works back and forth while his dad talks basketball and gives predictions on some games—the NBA playoffs, I think.
Gavin watches in silence. I don’t hear any of it, really, because blood pounds in my ears as Gavin becomes a pillar of anger next to me. When the interview’s over, he picks up the remote and mutes the TV. He blinks and looks over at me like he’s just remembering I’m here.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I’m not even sure why he’s apologizing. I doubt he knows either. “Why were you so upset earlier when Tommy mentioned your dad and his new girlfriend?”
He doesn’t answer immediately, and I worry that I’ve just turned this date from awkward to tragic.
“You don’t have to answer. It’s none of my business.”
“I used to think there was a limit to how much disappointment I could harbor when it came to my dad. I thought that I’d get to a point where it didn’t feel like a punch to the gut every time he fucked up.”
I don’t know what to say, so I slide my hand into his. He laces our fingers together.
“We don’t need to talk about this. I’m good.
It’s been a long day, and that’s the second time I’ve seen his apology tour.
Do you want to watch Rocky II? I promise it’s as good as the first.” A little of the happy glint returns to his eyes.
Honestly, I’d rather talk about his dad.
Not because I want to force him into telling me, but because I don’t want to pretend everything is great, when I can tell it isn’t.
“I should probably get home. I have a biology quiz tomorrow and I want to read through my notes one more time.”
“Okay.” He stands and pulls me to my feet with our joined hands. “I still owe you a real date.”
“Promises, promises,” I say with a taunt, and step into his body. Warmth seeps off him. “I’m sorry about your dad. If you want to talk about it or whatever, I’m here.”
Instead of taking me up on that, he kisses me.