10. Dahlia
DAHLIA
Do you know how humiliating it would be to die from embarrassment?
I feel dangerously close to it as Felix’s expression morphs between surprise and horror, then finally sympathy. Gross, sympathy is worse than horror. I don’t want his sympathy. I want to go back to thirty seconds ago when he was kissing my neck and pressing his dick against my leg.
“You caught me by surprise,” he says with a sheepish grin. “You’re so hot.”
“So only ugly people can be virgins?” I’m purposely goading him, but wait. Did he just say I was hot?
He makes a noise, something like a groan, deep in his throat, like what I imagine sex with him would sound like. Or maybe I’m still wishing we could go back to making out. Or almost making out. Sadly, I don’t think him kissing my neck counts. But wow, it was fun.
“Of course not. But how is it possible that no one has kissed you?” His stare drops to my lips, and I plead (internally, of course) for him to put his mouth on mine.
“It’s a long story.”
“I’ve got time.”
I glance around, hesitating to say more than I already have.
“Come on. Let’s grab a drink first,” he says and then takes my hand. This time, it feels way less sexual and more friendly. Ugh. There’s a real chance I’ve been relegated to the friend-zone. I should have kept my stupid mouth shut. Violet was wrong. Rambling is not better than freezing up.
Once he has a beer, he leads me to a couple free chairs on the patio. Bethany and Armstrong walk by, but his ex doesn’t even glance at us.
“Maybe she really likes him and just wants to rub it in your face a little. Not that I approve of that scenario either.”
“Maybe,” he says in a tone that tells me he doesn’t believe that to be true.
“Either way, it seems like she might have finally got the memo that I’m not interested.
” He looks at me with that heated gaze from earlier—the one before I told him I’d never kissed anyone.
“She thinks I’m taking my new girlfriend home tonight. ”
I shrug one shoulder as butterflies swoop low in my stomach. I can’t even entertain that thought because I will turn to a pile of goo right here. “I don’t mind if she thinks that. It isn’t like we’re friends.”
She didn’t even remember me from class. I sat five feet away from her for three months.
He nods, then kicks one leg out so it rests against mine. “Tell me your story, Dahlia Brady. How have you never been kissed?”
“Now I kind of wish I had a drink.” I run my palms along my thighs.
Felix leans forward and hands me his, then calls to someone nearby and asks for a beer. The guy hands him two cans from a cooler at his feet, without even blinking an eye. Felix opens one and sets the other between his legs.
“First of all, just know I am horrified that I told you all that, but since I did, the only way I can think to make it better is to tell you everything, so you know I’m not some sad girl you need to feel sorry for.”
“I don’t feel sorry for you,” he says, without missing a beat. “I feel sorry for all the guys that fucked it up.”
Damn he’s good with the one-liners. How much he actually means? No idea.
“All of high school I had this huge crush on a guy in my grade. We were friends and I thought maybe we could be more, but it never happened.”
“And nobody else tried to get your attention in all those years?” He shakes his head, disbelieving.
“They did…at first. I even went out with a few of them, but I wasn’t into it. I had one of those crushes that you can’t see out of, you know?”
“No, not really.”
“Surprise, surprise, Felix Walters has never had an unrequited crush,” I tease him.
His lips twitch with amusement.
“Well, anyway, the longer I went without dating anyone, the less people were interested. I sort of became this person that people didn’t even consider.”
“They just knew you’d say no.”
“Maybe.” I shrug again. “When I got to Valley, I thought it would be different. And at first, it was. I met a guy the second week of freshman year and we went out a few times.”
“And he didn’t try to kiss you?”
“He did try.” I bite my lip. “We went to a party and then back to his house.”
He’s hanging on my every word.
“I was so nervous. I drank way too much and when he went to kiss me, I puked.”
Felix laughs.
“Not on him or anything, I managed to run to the bathroom, but it definitely killed the mood.”
“It happens.”
“Does it? You’ve had a girl vomit when you went to kiss her?”
He’s holding back a laugh and his blue eyes twinkle. “No, but I’m sure you’re not the only one.”
I hum my uncertainty. “And another time, I was hanging at this guy’s dorm, and we were watching a movie and cuddling, and then he looked at me and I knew it was finally going to happen…until his long-distance girlfriend showed up at his dorm to surprise him.”
“Oh shit.” Felix covers his mouth with a fist.
“Yeah, I didn’t know he had a girlfriend, but that was the end of that.” I sigh and then laugh. “I even tried playing spin the bottle last year and the bottle never landed on me. I sat there for an hour, watching other people make out. It’s a freaking comedy of errors at this point.”
“There must be a hundred guys here.” He waves the hand holding his open beer toward the party in front of us.
“You’re a beautiful girl. Any guy here would kill to take you home and kiss you until your lips hurt.
Take your pick.” His stare drops to my mouth again, but I notice he didn’t lump himself into that category.
“Thanks.”
“I’m serious. You’re hot. I’m not the only one that’s noticed, trust me.”
He doesn’t get it. Of course, he doesn’t. He’s Felix Walters.
“And yet, no one else has asked me out.”
“Well, for the past couple weeks, you’ve been hiding. And before that, I rarely saw you out.”
“Parties are a little intimidating. I’m better in small groups.”
“So, then, we should do this again.”
“Do what again?” I ask because all we’ve done is talk for the past couple hours.
“Go out. There’s another party tomorrow night. I can introduce you to a bunch more people.”
“That’s nice of you, but?—”
“But nothing, if you want this year to be different, then you have to try different things.”
“I know. I do. And I will.”
He runs his tongue along his bottom lip as he sits forward. “I have an idea.”
All the nerves I felt earlier tonight are back.
“What if we kept hanging out?”
“I would probably fall asleep eventually.” I cover a yawn that I’ve been holding back.
“I don’t mean tonight. Tomorrow, the next night, the day after that. People already think you’re my girlfriend. We just let them keep thinking that for a couple months.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Think about it. We hang out. I can introduce you to people, and you’ll get more comfortable. Plus, almost no one bothered you about the video when they thought we were out together. I’m good for your image.”
I roll my eyes playfully. “Conceited much?”
“It’s just facts.”
It is, dammit. “What do you get out of this scenario?”
“I’m not taking home random girls, for starters. That shit is getting old.”
“Your willpower is astounding,” I say with a dry chuckle.
“I dig your sarcasm.” He takes my hand and intertwines our fingers. My pulse picks up and the air suddenly feels muggy.
My mind reels. Does he realize what he’s suggesting?
“Seriously, I could be good for you,” he adds. “If people think we’re together, the video will be completely forgotten in a week or two, and in the meantime, I’ll help you do all the things you wanted to do but haven’t yet.”
“Help me?” My voice is shaky.
He nods. “Sure. Why not?”
So many reasons. “But we aren’t really dating? I’m confused.” And I think I’m hyperventilating.
“I think you’re great,” he says. Internally, I groan. That statement is the kiss of death. “But I’m not looking for anything serious right now.”
“How come?”
“My sisters say that Bethany destroyed my ability to trust women,” he says in a tone that suggests he thinks the phrase is bullshit.
I bite down on my lip to stop from smiling.
He notices and laughs. “It’s okay. It’s funny. But maybe not totally untrue. I just don’t want to deal with the drama my senior year. Especially this semester. A lot is riding on this season.”
“So, we pretend to date, but we’re really just friends?” But we’d really be hanging out, and that’s the part that I can’t quite get over. I’d get to spend more time with him. Something I want badly, despite feeling awkward as hell around him.
And I think he might be right about the video losing steam if people think we’re together. Somehow people see me as less pathetic for my feelings if Felix reciprocates them.
“Yeah.”
No one would buy that. Me and Felix? Except, they did tonight. Even his closest friends.
“And what do you get? Really. Because we both know after I leave tonight, you could still find another girl to take home.”
“I would never cheat on my fake girlfriend.” He grins. His voice is more sincere when he says, “If it keeps Bethany from sleeping her way through my teammates to try to make me jealous, then that’d be great, too.”
“Are you sure it won’t make her try that much harder to get you back?” Last time I saw her, she was making out with Armstrong on the dance floor.
“Trust me. She doesn’t want me back. Not really. If she thinks I’ve moved on, sooner or later, she will too. She’ll stop flaunting Armstrong in my face and hopefully find herself a soccer or baseball player to torture.”
“Okay, but you could date anyone in this scenario. A girl you actually like.”
“I actually like you.”
“You know what I mean.” I tilt my head to the side. Is he serious? I keep waiting for him to realize what a bad idea this is, but his thumb strokes the top of my knuckles, and he looks at me so eagerly.
“I don’t know,” I say, finally.
“Say yes, Dahlia.”
My body tingles. “No fair using my name. You know what it does to me.”
His smile widens. “Say yes, hot stuff.”
My brows lift at the endearment.
“You are. That’s what I’m going to call you so you don’t forget it.”
“I am so not.”
He hums like I’m proving his point. “A couple months hanging out with me, and you’ll see just how right I am. You’ll have guys begging to take you out.”
I can’t even wrap my brain around that scenario, but I nod ever so slightly. “I have a feeling I’m going to regret this.”