27. Felix
FELIX
Thursday after practice, I stay to get in some more conditioning.
It’s the only way I’m going to sleep tonight.
We don’t play until Saturday, but we leave early tomorrow morning to travel to Flagstaff.
One bad night of sleep and I’d probably have enough adrenaline to get me through.
Two nights of shitty sleep, though, and I won’t be sharp enough to get it done.
So tonight, I need total exhaustion on my side.
Teddy stays with me, going through the motions more to keep me company and make sure I don’t overdo it than because he needs it.
When I stop for water, he collapses on the field. “How are you still standing?”
“Obviously I’m in better shape than you.”
His mouth falls into a straight line, but my ribbing gets him back on his feet. The sun set some time ago, and without the lights on the field, it’s getting hard to see.
“Are you stressing NAU this much?” He ducks his head and wipes his forehead on the sleeve of his T-shirt.
“It’s not just NAU,” I say. “It’s every team from here on out. I want to finish strong. No regrets, no looking back and wondering what could have been, ya know?”
“Yeah.” He nods. “I get that. And we will. No one works harder than you. Not in all the years we’ve been playing together. We’re ready. You are ready.”
I try to let his words ease the nerves pinging around my ribs.
Since I was eight years old, all I’ve wanted is to be a football player.
My mom would make my sisters and me answer that question on the first day of each new school year.
She had one of those chalkboard signs where she wrote our names, which teacher we had that year, how old we were, how tall, and a bunch of other details I can’t remember.
Even when we got to junior high, she’d bribe us with chocolate chip cookies or something until we’d agree to stand in front of the sign and have our picture taken.
Every single one of those photographs I’m standing in front of the same black chalkboard sign, proudly stating that I was going to be a football player when I grew up.
Through buzzed hair, a mohawk, a scraggly attempt at growing facial hair, popped collars, there’s even one where I’m rocking an eyebrow piercing.
My appearance shifted over the years, but my identity never has.
I’m a football player. It’s all I’ve ever dreamed of being.
I shake out my legs. I don’t know how much more I have in me tonight, so I finally relent. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Ready to get out of here?”
“Of course, I’m right,” he says and claps me on the shoulder. “Do you want to grab dinner? I’m starving.”
“Yeah.” I blow out a long breath. I’m dog tired, which is exactly where I wanted to be.
We gather our things and head for the parking lot. I’m dragging, which is the only reason Teddy spots her before me.
His elbow to my side nearly knocks me over. Fuck, I might have overdone it. But when I glance up and see Dahlia waiting next to my car, I perk right up.
“Hey,” I say, smiling wider than I thought possible twenty seconds ago.
“Hi.” Her timidness around me still surprises me. It fades the more time we spend together, but she always approaches me like she’s not sure if I’m going to be pleased to see her or not. Spoiler alert, I’m always fucking pleased to see her.
She smiles at Teddy and pushes a lock of her blonde hair behind one ear. “Hey.”
“Hi,” he replies back to her, then says to me, “I’ll catch you back at the house.”
Teddy hops into his truck and I toss my bag in my car and then lean against it to keep my wobbly legs from collapsing.
“I’m sorry for the surprise attack, but I wanted to give you this.” She holds out my black sweatshirt.
“Thanks.” I take it without removing my eyes from her. She’s in a golf skirt and tank top, similar to what I saw her in on Monday. It’s cute and sporty and her boobs look incredible. I try not to stare directly at them but fail miserably. “Coming from practice?”
“Yeah, well, sort of. I stayed a little late to work on a few things. Then I had to go straight to campus for a group project meeting.” She glances around. “Are you just getting done for the night?”
“I stayed a little late to work on a few things, too.”
“Excited for the game?”
“Honestly?” I run a hand through my hair. “Scared shitless.”
“What?!” Her mouth curves with a surprised smile. “Why?”
“NAU is tough this year. One of the better teams we’ll go against this season.”
“Aren’t you, like, the best college quarterback in the country or something?
” The genuine confusion on her face as she tries to understand why I’m nervous about this weekend’s game is adorable.
And something I’ve gotten used to. On the outside, I’m all confidence because that’s what my team needs.
But the reality of what this season means for my future has me a little freaked out.
You can go from being number one to some guy who could have been great in an instant.
“What are you doing for the next couple hours?” I ask her.
“Nothing. Why?”
“Hang out with me for a while? I’ve barely seen you. Archer and Brogan have also noted your absence at breakfast. Real bummer vibes from them.”
She laughs. “I’m sorry. Monday I had to meet with my advisor, Tuesday I overslept, and…anyway, yes, I’d love to hang out.”
I take her to my place first so I can shower and change, scarf down a sandwich and protein drink, and then we sit around with my roommates. Lucas and Teddy are playing video games. I opt out so I can keep my focus on Dahlia.
“How was your week?” I ask.
“Good. Just school and golf. Yours?”
“Good. Just school and football.” I sling an arm around her back and let my fingers brush against her shoulder. “What are you girls going to get up to this weekend?”
“I’m not sure. It sounds like it’s going to be pretty quiet around campus.”
She’s right. The football and basketball teams are both traveling, and I ran into Jordan at the dining hall today and he said the hockey guys are doing some team building event upstate Saturday and Sunday.
“I need to do curfew check in about thirty minutes. Want to come keep me company?”
“Curfew check?” she asks, brows pinching together.
“I go by the dorms and make sure the guys are in their rooms and ready for tomorrow. The bus leaves early.”
Lucas coughs into his hand, “Overbearing asshole.”
I flip him off, stand, and pull Dahlia to her feet.
“You personally check that every guy on the team is in by curfew?” she asks.
“Not every guy, but most of them.”
“I already talked to Archer and Brogan,” Teddy says. “They’re in and ready to go.”
“Thanks, man,” I tell him.
Dahlia and I get in my car to head back to campus. She looks over from the passenger seat and smiles at me. I move one hand to rest on her thigh. The more we hang out, the less fake it all feels, but I’m not about to add that to the list of things to dissect right now.
I park in the lot behind Freddy dorm. I could call the guys and check in instead of stopping by, but I really don’t mind. It gives me something to focus on. Sitting idly and waiting for the time to finally get on the bus is torture.
“Oh, wow. I should have brought a jacket.” She huddles into herself as she steps out of the car.
Chuckling, I reach in and grab my sweatshirt, then toss it to her.
“It’ll be dirty for tomorrow.”
“Oh, I hope so.” I wink and a pretty blush paints her cheekbones.
As we walk, I take her hand and lace our fingers together. When we get to the front entrance of the dorm, I pull her off to the side and back her against the building. She giggles in surprise, seconds before my mouth descends and captures hers.
I don’t know what this girl’s done to me. It’s only been a few days since I’ve kissed her, but it feels like an eternity.
I use the strings of my hoodie to pull her even closer. I’m reconsidering my evening plans. Kissing her until I pass out might be the way to go.
We pull apart when a group of loud guys walks out of the dorm. They give us, or rather her, a long look, taking in her wet, puffy lips and bare legs. I clear my throat and send them a death glare.
They scurry along and I glance back at Dahlia. “Ready?”
She’s smiling, a knowing glint in her eyes. “Did you just pee on me?”
I bark a laugh into the dark night. “Pee on you? Is that a kink of yours? Because it’s not something I’m into myself, but I might be willing to try it once.”
She punches my arm. “You know what I mean. Those guys barely looked at me and you glared at them and stepped in front of me like you were marking your territory.”
“Oh, that’s what you meant. Then, yeah, I was absolutely peeing on you.”
Still laughing, I take her hand and we walk into the dorm. A lot of the guys live in Freddy since the entire dorm is student athlete housing.
“Did you live in Freddy your freshman year?” Dahlia asks.
“Yeah. You?”
“Yep. Room 107.”
“Really? I was 123. Damn, I knew I should have stayed in the dorms another year. We would have been neighbors. I could have borrowed a cup of sugar or something.”
She laughs. “When have you ever borrowed a cup of sugar?”
“Well, never, but I might have tried a line like that to talk to you.”
The shake of her head is disbelieving. “I would have probably gone out and bought sugar just in case you asked. And then froze if you actually came to my door.”
“You don’t freeze around me anymore.” I lift our joined hands and kiss the top of her knuckles.
She watches my mouth brush against her skin. “Trust me, internally, I’m still freaking out.”
We stop by all the first-floor rooms. The guys are in, chilling, ready for tomorrow. Then Dahlia and I head up to the second, and so on. Only one guy is missing, and his roommates vouch for him that he’s at the library finishing an assignment he needs to turn in before we leave.
It’s all gone so easy and fast. Kissing Dahlia between rooms, checking on my guys, kissing her some more. Pretty perfect way to spend a night.
“Is that it?” she asks as we push out of the front doors of Freddy. She almost sounds as disappointed as I feel.
“Yeah. I text the guys off-campus. It’s really the young guys I worry about.”
“You’re a good captain,” she says.
“Thanks.” Her compliment hits me unexpectedly. She isn’t the first to say it, but I believe her in a way I’ve brushed off the same words from others.
We’re almost back to my car when she says, “I got some news today. Eddie liked the pants. And he wants to fly me out and meet with the wardrobe people for the tour.”
I stop in my tracks and stare at her. “You waited all night to tell me this?”
Her shoulders lift in a small shrug. “I was waiting for the right moment.”
“Dahlia, that’s incredible.” I wrap her up in my arms. “We could have celebrated.”
“No, really. It’s okay. I knew you’d be busy tonight.”
“I could have at least taken you to dinner or something.”
“This was perfect. I got to see another side of you.” When I don’t say anything, she adds, “It must be hard trying to keep so many people in line while taking care of yourself and what you need to do to prepare for a game.”
“It’s actually easier having something else to do, other people to worry about instead of myself.”
She smiles. “I guess I get that. Golf is different. We cheer each other on, but we don’t look out for each other the same way that you do for your team.”
“Well, I guess it’s a good thing you have me then.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I’m always looking out for you. Whatever you need, hot stuff.”
“Whatever I need?” She leans forward, lips hovering over mine.
My chest tightens as her lashes flutter closed and she kisses me. Her voice is breathy when she speaks again. “I think I could get used to that.”
Me too. Fuck. Me too.