Chapter 3
Chapter Three
Maggie
My knees won’t stop bouncing. It’s annoying me, so I know it has to be annoying the other patients in the waiting room, but I can’t help it. I’m nervous. I’m still holding out hope that the five tests I’ve taken over the last few days are false positives, but that hope is fickle, because I’m pretty sure the tests were right.
Not just because I took five of them, but because I’ve been nauseous for a couple of weeks now. My boobs hurt, and I’m late. As in two months late. Last month I chalked it up to working so many hours. The emergency room was short-staffed, and I picked up a lot of extra shifts. My schedule was all wonky, and I thought that was the reason.
I was in denial.
This month, specifically four days ago, when I didn’t start my period, I knew. I drove straight to the pharmacy after work and bought a basketful of tests. Okay, just ten, but I’ve managed to only use five of them. All five were positive at different times of the day. All five were different brands.
That brings me to now. I’m sitting in the waiting room of my gynecologist's office for her to tell me what I already know.
I’m pregnant.
“Maggie,” the nurse calls.
Pulling in a deep breath, I stand on shaky legs and follow her through the door to the back of the office. We stop at the scale, and I place my purse on the chair and step on. I don’t look at the number. It doesn’t matter. My hand lands on my flat belly. With those two pink lines, everything in my life has changed. Being here is really just a formality.
“Great, you’re going to be in exam room three,” she tells me. I follow her into the room and take a seat on the exam table. “So you’re here for a possible pregnancy?” she asks. “You have at home positive tests, correct?”
“Y-Yes.”
“Do you know the date of your last menstrual cycle?” I rattle off the date and the answer to the rest of her questions. “Perfect. Now, we’ll need a urine sample, but we’ll also draw blood as well. Do you think you can give us a sample now?”
“I can.”
“Perfect. Just leave the cup in the little silver door behind the toilet. The restroom is directly across the hall.” She opens the door, and points as if I can’t figure it out on my own.
Honestly, it probably appears that way. I need to shake out of this funk. This wasn’t how I planned to start a family, but this is how it’s happening, and I can’t change that. Well, I guess I could, but I won’t. I’ve known for a few days, and already, this baby is a part of me, a part of my heart.
Quickly, I give my urine sample and settle myself back in the exam room, where I strip down and put on the gown provided before taking a seat on the examination table. I fist my hands in my lap as I let my mind wander over everything I’m going to need to do to prepare for this baby.
I also have to talk to Lachlan. Before I can let my mind go there and how that conversation might play out, something that I’ve thought about a lot the past few days, there’s a knock at the door, and Dr. Holmes steps into the room.
“Maggie, good to see you.” She goes to the sink and washes her hands before turning to face me. “I hear congratulations might be in order.” She smiles kindly, and something about that smile eases some of my anxiety.
“Yes.”
“Okay, tell me a little about what’s been going on outside of the positive home tests.”
I ramble on about my symptoms. “And I took five at home tests,” I confess.
Dr. Holmes chuckles. “You are not the only one. I even took several with both of my kids. It’s like you need to just really be sure.”
“Exactly.”
She instructs me to lie back, and she quickly and efficiently does her exam. She’s stripping off her gloves when there’s a knock at the door. She glances to make sure I’m again covered and sitting up before she answers. “Results,” the nurse whispers.
“Thank you.” Dr. Holmes shuts the door and turns to me and smiles. “Your exam and your urine results are both positive. Congratulations.”
It’s official.
I’m pregnant.
“Thank you.” My voice is soft as I let this sink in. I already knew, but this moment makes it even more real.
Dr. Holmes starts to discuss the next steps, vitamins, and my next appointment. I’m only half listening because I’m going to be a mom.
Me. A mom.
The remainder of the appointment goes by in a blur, and I find myself sitting in my car, staring at the dash while the air conditioning blows full blast. It’s a little after five. I was the last appointment of the day, and I know where my next stop needs to be. It’s only right to tell the baby’s father before I tell anyone else, but I’m dreading this conversation.
Digging my phone out of my purse, I shoot Lachlan a message.
Me: Are you home?
His reply is immediate.
Lachlan: Headed there now. Just left the shop.
Me: Can I come by?
Lachlan: Of course. Is everything okay?
I’ve never asked to come to his place, and I can only imagine what he thinks my reason is now. I’ve been there with the group, but not on my own. “I’m sorry,” I whisper because I’m about to change his life too.
Me: Yes. I’ll see you soon.
Tossing my phone back into my purse, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I don’t want to do this, but I know that I have to. It’s the right thing to do, and I don’t want to keep this from him. It’s only fair he finds out. To be honest, I should have told him before now and asked him to come with me today, but I just couldn’t do that. I needed to do this part on my own. I needed to let this truth sink in before talking to him.
No more excuses. It’s time for the hard conversation. I’ve rehearsed this a million times, but that doesn’t make this any easier.
I pull into Lachlan’s driveway just as he’s climbing out of his truck. I don’t give myself time to stall, so I grab my keys and phone and climb out of the car.
“Hey, you.” He comes over and wraps me in a hug. “What’s going on?”
“Can we go inside and talk?”
“Sure.” He places his hand on the small of my back and leads me onto the porch. With one hand, he unlocks and opens the door, guiding me inside. “Do you want something to drink?”
My stomach rolls. Whoever said morning sickness lied. It’s all damn day. “No, thank you.”
“Have a seat.” I do as he says, and perch on the edge of the couch while Lachlan takes the recliner. His blue eyes are boring into mine, willing me to tell him why I’m here.
Placing my phone and keys on the table in front of me, I fold my hands in my lap, take a deep breath, and meet his gaze. “I’ve gone over this a thousand times in my head, but now that I’m here with you, it’s all gone.”
“It’s just me, Mags. You can tell me anything,” Lachlan says gently.
He’s right. I need to just pull the Band-Aid off, so to speak. “I’m pregnant.” I blurt it out and wait for his reaction.
Lachlan’s mouth falls open, but he quickly closes it. “Okay.” He nods and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.
He’s not giving me anything else, so I keep going. “I’m keeping this baby. I want you to know you don’t need to do anything. You don’t have to do anything, but I want this baby.” My hands go to my belly. “I just found out a few days ago, and I just came from a doctor’s appointment, and I love this baby already, Lachlan. So, I’m doing this. I don’t expect anything from you, and I’ll tell the girls I don’t know the father, that it was a one-night stand, and I’ll keep my distance.” I ramble on and then clamp my mouth shut when his shock turns to anger.
“Why the hell would you tell them you don’t know who the father is?” He stands up and paces the small living room. He turns to face me, not stopping his pacing, and slaps his chest hard. “I’m the father, Maggie. Me. That’s my baby.”
“I didn’t know how you would feel, and I wanted you to know that I can do this. I’m sorry it happened, but I love this little one, Lachlan.”
He stops pacing and comes to stand before me. He stares down at me for several heartbeats before he drops to his knees and takes my hands in his. “Don’t apologize to me. I was there. I was in that room, in that moment with you, Maggie, and dammit, to hear you say you don’t want me in my child’s life, that cuts deep.”
“No. No, that’s not—I didn’t mean—” I stop and take a deep breath, and collect my thoughts. “I didn’t mean that I didn’t want you in this baby’s life, just that I didn’t expect you to be. I can handle this, and you have the choice to stay or walk away. Either way, it’s your choice. Just like raising this baby is my choice.”
“There is no choice, Maggie. I’m this baby’s father.” His eyes drop to my belly, and the look of longing I see on his face has tears springing in my eyes. I don’t know why I do it, but I take one of his hands and place it over my still-flat belly.
When he finally looks up at me, there are tears in his eyes. “Can we try?”
I furrow my brow. “Try what?”
“To raise this baby together. I want to be there, Maggie. For you and our baby. I want to hold your hand at appointments. I want to help paint the nursery. I want to spend hours picking out names. All of it. I don’t want to miss a single thing.”
“Really?” I ask, my voice cracking as I lose my battle with my tears.
Lachlan wipes at my cheeks with his thumbs. “Yes, really. We’re friends, Maggie. We shared a night together that I will always remember and not just because that night gave us our son or daughter. I could never forget you, and I want this with you. Sure, it’s unconventional, but we can do this, Maggie. We can raise this baby together.”
“You want to co-parent with me?” I ask, making sure that I’m understanding him correctly.
“Is that what it’s called? I want to be this baby’s daddy. My biological dad walked out on my mom when she found out she was pregnant with me.”
“Oh, Lachlan.”
“She met and married my dad, my father, not by blood but by love, and he’s been there every day since. I know what it takes to be a good dad because I had the best example. Besides, I have four best friends who will be there if I need advice. And you. You and I, we can do this, Maggie. So, can we? Can we try this? I promise you we’re going to kick ass at this co-parent thing.”
“I’m sorry. You don’t have to ask to be a part of our child’s life. I’m just… you’re not my ex, and that’s not fair to you that I would assume that you would push me away. I’m sorry for doubting you. Yes, we can do this. We can raise this baby. Together.”
I don’t know what I was expecting, but it’s not Lachlan to lean in and wrap his arms around me in a hug so fierce, it pulls the breath from my lungs. When he finally pulls back, he’s wearing a smile that lights up his entire face.
“Okay, tell me everything.”
So I do. I tell him how I’ve been nauseous, about my boobs hurting, and then the five at-home tests that I took, ending with the details of today’s appointment.
“When do you go back to the doctor?” he asks, pulling his phone out of his pocket and tapping the screen.
“The second week of August.” Reaching for my phone, I scroll to the appointment in my calendar and rattle off the exact date and time.
“I’ll be there.”
“You don’t—” I start, then stop. “Thank you, Lachlan.”
“This is my baby too. Do you need anything? I know you said you’ve been nauseous. What foods make it better or worse?”
“I don’t really know if there is any one thing that triggers it. What I do know is that it’s not just in the mornings. It seems to hit me at all hours of the day or night.”
“Maybe you should move in with me so that I can be there for you when that happens,” he muses.
“I’m a big girl and a registered nurse. I’m completely capable of taking care of myself.”
“I know, but you’re growing my baby in there. I should be there for anything you need.”
“Lachlan, think about what you’re saying. We’re not together. If we were to live together, think about how confusing that will be for the baby, when either one of us meets someone. I promise I’ll keep you as updated on my life as I possibly can.”
“Fine, but I don’t care what time it is, you text me. If you’re up at 3:00 a.m. call me, text me. Hell, come over. Just… I don’t want to miss any of it.”
Reaching over the cushion that’s between us, I rest my palm against his cheek. “You’re a good man, Lachlan Noble. Our baby is lucky to have you as his or her father.”
His blue eyes blaze. “We’re having a baby! We need to tell everyone. Should we call them now?”
“Actually, I was kind of hoping we could wait until I’m out of the first trimester. If something were to happen, if I were to miscarry, it’s more likely to happen in the first trimester.”
“What? What do you mean? Is something wrong?”
“No,” I’m quick to reassure him. “Miscarriages happen to many women, and I would rather just keep this between us for now, and once we’re past the twelve-week mark, we can tell the world.”
“How long is that?”
“I’m eight weeks along, so it’s a month from now. Can you keep a secret that long?”
“I can try.” He chuckles. “Can you?”
“Honestly, I’m not so sure I can. Especially with Briar being pregnant, and the others trying, or at least getting lots of practice in. We talk about babies and pregnancy a lot.”
“We’ll tell them together. You tell me when and we’ll do it together. That’s our new motto, Mags. You, me, and baby peanut.” He rubs my flat belly again. “When can we find out? Oh wait, do you want to find out?”
“Do you?”
“Yeah, I mean, I think so. It would be nice to know so we can get his or her room ready, and pick out a name, and we’ll need double of everything for my place and yours. Damn, I need a bigger house. I’ll start looking.”
“Your house is fine.”
“It’s a small two-bedroom, and the second bedroom is so small, it’s almost like it’s a large closet. Besides, the yard is also small, and we’re going to need a swing set and room to play.”
“Not for a while.”
He shrugs. “Still needs to happen.”
“Let’s just get through the next four weeks, and then you can plan and buy until your heart’s content. Deal?” I hold my hand out for him, and he places his in mine. I don’t know how I expected this conversation to go, but it wasn’t like this. Lachlan has calmed my fears and has accepted this pregnancy with open arms.
“Deal. Now, have you eaten?”
“No.”
“What does my baby momma want?”
“Honestly, I don’t even know what won’t make me sick right now. I’ve been eating saltines, ginger cookies, and having ginger ale.”
“Okay, how about we try a grilled cheese? I have some soup, tomato, or chicken noodle, I think in the cabinet.”
“You don’t have to cook for me, Lachlan.”
“You said we could try, and this is a part of that.”
“You’re right, I did. Grilled cheese and tomato soup is my favorite.”
His eyes sparkle. “Mine too.”
That’s how we spend the evening. Lachlan makes us dinner that I’m able to eat without incident, and we talk for hours about the baby, about life, and it’s one of the best nights I can ever remember having.
I was scared to death to tell him, but he took those fears and spit them out, showing me the kind of man he is. He wants to try, and I want that too. More than anything, I want our baby to have two loving parents.
When I leave his place and head toward my own, a peace I haven’t felt since I first suspected I was pregnant washes over me. Maybe we can really make this work. Maybe we can really give this a try.