Chapter 4
Atlas
If someone had told me a year ago I’d move away from my hometown, I would’ve laughed. The control freak in me doesn’t like change. Who knew that it’s my control– or lack of control– that would have me packing up and expanding the business.
If it weren’t for Gavin, none of this would’ve been possible.
He dealt with my salty ass the whole time we worked on this move and got settled. If I’m being honest, he did all the heavy lifting. He had to deal with the Realtor and all the paperwork that came along with this move.
And I? I was just trying to survive.
I still check the online obituaries, still no sign of Maizyn.
I guess no answer is better than finding out she’s dead.
The dreams don’t happen as often anymore either.
They only happen maybe once a week now, usually one of the many amazing memories of us together.
While she still sits at the back of my mind, I’m no longer actively trying to find her.
I have to try and move on. If she was alive and wanted to be found, I would’ve found her already.
I just hope wherever she is, she’s okay.
Not only was this fresh start good for me, it’s good for the company.
Two different locations allow us access to more jobs, which in turn, brings in more money.
Ramos is loving his promotion so I don’t have to worry about the Allendale office while we’re setting up this one.
It took awhile, but it’s finally starting to feel normal here.
I wouldn’t call it home, but I don’t feel out of place either.
I haven’t explored much of this new town yet, but I did find this bookstore on my way to get lunch last week that caught my attention.
I’m unsure why, but I went inside to check it out.
It was cozy, and there was a reading area set up in the corner.
It felt homey and made me think of Maze.
Since then, every time I’m in the area, I stop inside.
Today is one of those days.
Entering the bookstore, I walk straight to the beanbag in the corner and plop down.
This spot has become a safe space. A place to just relax for a few minutes.
I take a moment to soak in my surroundings.
Maze would’ve loved this place. I can’t help but feel closer to her while sitting here.
I never end up staying long, but it helps nonetheless.
I walk out of the bookstore, and as I turn to head back to work, I collide with someone.
My instincts take over as I steady the person I bulldozed. The hair on the back of my neck stands, and my skin prickles where we touch. Only one person has ever caused this reaction, so when I glance down and meet the familiar green eyes staring back at me, I freeze.
Emily
My skin jolts with electric shocks.
I’m hyper aware of the place where his fingers grip my arm. I feel the heat travel from his hand, up to my warming pink cheeks.
Great, I probably look stupid.
One quick glance at his eyes feels like he can see my very soul. His eyes flash with the kind of recognition I can’t decipher, and I instantly panic. Without giving him any time to insult me or say anything rude, I storm off.
Of course, my limp decides it wants to be extra prominent at this moment. I huff out a sigh of annoyance as I brush the invisible lint from my clothes. Anything to distract myself from turning back around. So embarrassing. I’m so lost in my own head that I collide with a stranger.
I’ve got to stop talking to myself and spacing out. Yet, I keep wracking my brain to find the shit I can’t remember.
I rush into the coffee shop and clock in.
After placing my items in my locker, I relieve Brooke from her post behind the register and get to work. I can’t believe I ran into someone. If I would just act fucking normal I would’ve seen him coming out of the book store instead of colliding with the man.
I can still feel where he touched me, my tummy warming with butterflies. I don’t do butterflies, never have. What makes him different?
Something at the back of the line catches my attention, so I reach up on my tippy toes to peak over the person in front of me. Imagine my surprise when I notice that the mystery man I collided with while I tried to enter the bookstore just a few minutes ago, is currently in line.
I take a few orders from the customers before him, preparing myself to face him before he approaches the counter.
Just my luck, he probably followed me inside to probably yell at me.
The closer he gets to the counter, the more my hands start to sweat.
I can’t exactly hide from him either. Brooke doesn’t like to work the register unless she has to.
He finally gets up to the counter, but instead of yelling, he doesn’t say anything. He stares at me like he’s looking at a ghost. The silence becomes awkward so I decide to speak first.
“Hey, sorry sir for bumping into you. I should’ve been paying more attention, and I should’ve apologized when it happened. My bad.”
He blinks a few times like he didn’t expect me to speak. It takes a few more minutes before he responds.
“So you’ve been here the whole time and didn’t have the decency to tell me?” The words are bitter in my ears.
I physically feel my face pale. That’s not what I expected him to say at all.
“What are you talking about, why would I tell you? I don’t even know you.”
That seemed to trigger him. Anger flashed in his eyes as he clenched his fist before he covered it back up.
“Real fucking funny, Maze,” he hisses. “The joke is over. Cut the shit.”
I flinch at his tone but recover quickly.
“I…you must be mistaken. I’m not sure who you are, and I definitely don’t know anyone named Maze. My name is Emily. Also, I’m pretty sure I would remember if I met someone like you.”
He glances down to my name tag and back to my eyes. He must see the confusion swirling behind them because the next thing out of his mouth is an apology.
“Sorry.”
He parts his lips like he’s going to say more , but it dies on his tongue. Nothing about this interaction is going how I thought it would. His brow furrows before he finally speaks again.
“I um, I guess I made a mistake. You just happen to look a lot like someone I used to know. I apologize for any inconvenience.”
“Oh. Okay. Did you want to order something or…?”
“Shit, my bad. Can I just get a double espresso?”
I quickly make his drink and cash him out. After handing him his espresso, he gives me one last glance before walking off. I was hoping he’d leave but instead, he sits down at a table in the corner and drinks his coffee. I can’t help but to keep glancing his way.
Something about him is intriguing.
I’ve never shown interest in anyone.
Why do my eyes keep flicking back to him?
It’s almost like my eyes are magnetized to him. He hasn’t reacted to my lingering eyes. He either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care. Not really sure which option I’m hoping for. It’s like he cast a spell on my psyche.
I try to go about my regular task while he’s here, and I feel like I’m doing an okay job until he stands to leave. I’m hyper aware of his movements as he walks over to the trash can to throw away his empty cup.
The bell of the door chimes, signaling him walking out, and it feels as if there’s a sharp tug in my chest. Like a rope is connecting us, and the further he walks, the harder the tug gets.
And I have no idea why. Before I have time to think too much about it, I yank off my apron and yell over my shoulder that I’m going on break.
My feet carry me out the door and I head the same direction he just walked off in.
Instead of running to catch up to him, I stay at a steady pace with a few people behind him. I’m not sure where we’re going, but it feels like it’ll be fun to find out.
Shit!
Why the fuck am I following him?
What the fuck is happening to me?
I don’t do this!
I don’t even like people, so what makes him so different? My brain is so disrespectful sometimes. This shit makes me look crazier than I already thought I was.
Maybe I should start looking into finding a therapist.
Do you tell your therapist you started stalking a person because he looked at you, and you felt seen for the first time in your life? Do they report illegal activities?
Yeah, maybe I should keep this to myself.
I can picture it now: laying on a couch in a stuffy room, the judgemental lady tapping a pen on a clipboard, asking me what brought me in. As soon as I trauma dump on her and tell her that I can’t remember shit from the last six months, she will look at me like I’m crazy.
Can you imagine her face when I conveniently tell her I have somehow become a full-blown stalker.
When she asks me why, I can proudly tell her it’s because someone I accidentally bumped into, had looked at me and made me feel fuzzy.
Pretty sure that’ll be the exact moment she realizes I should be shipped off to a padded room and never let me go.
I swear my brain is becoming my worst enemy, lately. I can no longer tell the difference between finding my mind or losing it.
How do you know if you’re even good at stalking?
I really wish they made “Stalking for Dummies.” That’s a book I need.
What if he sees me and realizes that I’m stalking him?
Will he think I want to hurt him?
That’s kind of laughable with my five-foot-two-inch stature.
I’m tiny compared to his height. He’s definitely over six foot, maybe six-foot-three.
Will he find me charming and endearing?
Will he call the cops?
Shit. That’s definitely not what I need.
I don’t want to be handcuffed, thrown in the back of a cop car, and be treated like a criminal. I’m not a criminal, it’s just some light stalking. I just want to know everything about him before he knows anything about me.
That seems like a perfectly normal reaction to me.
If I don’t think too hard about it, I won’t overthink what I’m doing.
I follow him for the next two blocks until he enters an office building. Interesting. I wouldn’t have pegged him as the boring office type, but I’ll bite.
Once I believe he’s far enough inside that I won’t be caught red-handed, I sneak over to the plaque beside the door that lists the address for the building, as well as what businesses this building holds.
There are only three listed.
Suite A is something called Nailz. I’m assuming it’s a nail spa. Suite B is a photography studio of some sort. It’s the last Suite that piques my interest. Suite C is a place called Torres Security.
Somehow I just know that’s where the mystery man went. I quickly type that information into the notes app on my phone and rush back to work.