Chapter 13
Emily
Atlas picks me up, placing me on the hood of his car.
Not wasting a single second, his hands are on me immediately as he starts to peel my hoodie away from my body.
I’m not sure what it is about this man that makes me want him no matter where we are.
I don’t care that we are in a public parking garage where anyone could see us– we could be on a crowded sidewalk and I probably wouldn’t notice.
When I was with him, the rest of the world didn’t exist. I just want to feel loved by him.
I don’t care I’m only wearing a bra underneath, but he seems pleased to find that out.
His hands tangle into my hair as he devours me in a kiss.
His kisses always feel like desperation and devotion wrapped together, but I wasn’t sure if I was alone in the feeling.
His hands leave my hair and start a path down my body.
His fingers skim across the pulse point in my neck, squeezing lightly before he continues his path.
Something about his fingers around my neck made me smile every time.
His fingers trail across my collar bone like he’s tracing them to memory.
His hand skates around each breast, not actually touching, but enough to raise my heart rate.
The man is good with his hands.
His touch leaves a burning sensation in its path.
My back arches off the hood, bringing my chest closer to him.
He chuckles under his breath before giving me what I want.
He kneads my breast through the bra, but his grip is hard enough it doesn’t matter.
He pinches both nipples before he continues on.
Once his hands reach my waist, his mouth follows the same path.
My skin pebbles underneath the wet kisses and quick nips he’s leaving as he makes his way down my body.
I really hope the marks will last a few days.
I want to be able to see them marking my skin when I need reassurance.
I want the proof of his love on my body when I no longer love myself.
His tongue licks across the swell of each breast before biting hard enough to leave a bruise.
I grab the back of his head, holding him to me– I want more.
I don’t want him to have the option of stopping.
Using his teeth, he yanks the cups of my bra down far enough to release my nipples.
They pebble as soon as they hit the air.
He places a few wet kisses and nips along my ribs, his hands gripping tighter on my thighs.
I wrap my legs around his waist and grind against him.
He chuckles against me but continues his teasing, licking up between my breast and around each nipple, getting closer and closer with each pass, but still not touching them.
Fuck that. I grab a fist full of his hair and yank his mouth down to my nipple.
“So impatient, Chaos.”
Before I can respond, he flicks his tongue across my nipple before sucking it into his mouth. My back arches into him as a moan escapes my throat.
“Is that what you wanted?”
I just nod my head as he continues his assault, trailing kisses to the other breast before doing the same thing.
He pulls my legs from around his waist and moves them to his shoulders as he drops to his knees between my legs.
He bites my thighs as he gets closer and closer to my center.
He blows against my core and my face heats with a blush.
If I was as wet as I felt, then I was pretty sure he could see it.
“You’re so wet for me Chaos that you soaked through these tiny shorts.”
Biting me through the fabric, he pulls my shorts and panties to the side. He runs a finger through my folds, spreading my wetness around. He sucks his finger clean and moans at the taste before leaning back down and flicking his tongue across my clit.
Beep Beep Beep.
Beep Beep Beep.
Beep Beep Beep.
My eyes blink open with a groan. Damn it!
You have to be fucking kidding me. That dream was so vivid it felt real.
The wetness between my thighs told me it was real enough.
I don’t think I’ve ever had a sex dream before.
I guess there’s a first time for everything.
I blink my eyes and I can still picture the entire dream.
It feels almost like it’s ingrained in my mind like a memory.
I can still feel his hands and mouth on my body like he was actually there.
I reluctantly drag myself out of bed and get ready for my shift.
I don’t really want to go to work today but it gets me out of the house and away from Trevor.
After all my time spent with Atlas, I get the sense of déjá vu more often than I’m comfortable with.
The more it happens, the more I believe it has something to do with the events of the past year I can’t remember.
I started trying to get answers from Trevor again, but still nothing. Trevor keeps brushing me off every time I ask about what happened. Every time I bring up the fact I don’t remember something, or if I ask about my health records, he gaslights me and tries to act like I’m crazy.
I know he’s hiding something, I’m not sure why but I’ll find out one way or another. I told him a while ago I needed time to recover from my surgery, that it was mentally taxing on me.
It seems to have the opposite effect I wanted. It’s like the more I try to distance myself from him, the clinger he becomes. I always have to lie and say I’m working in order to get him to leave me alone long enough to hunt down Atlas and see what he’s doing.
Should I stop stalking Atlas? Maybe, but I don’t think I can.
Not until I figure out why my body acts so differently to him.
Why do I feel safer and more seen with a stranger when I can’t stand being in the same room as the person I was supposed to be dating?
I probably shouldn’t have slept with Atlas until I figured out the Trevor situation, but it’s not like we’re still together.
Despite how he tries to act, I’ve tried to break it off several times.
He just doesn’t seem to understand that.
He told me today he was going away for a week-long work trip, and he had to leave in three days.
I was looking forward to him being gone.
It means I might be able to go on a date with Atlas again.
As much as Trevor seems like a good guy, I no longer feel for him the way I used to. I don’t know what changed.
I can’t pinpoint the moment it switched either.
I was with him for a long time, but it seems like my body knows something that I don’t, which has happened a lot lately. I just wish I could remember what happened.
Speaking of Atlas, it’s gone back to normal. Back to the way it was before our date. It’s been a few days since I’ve talked to him. We didn’t talk about the date or the swing set event. I was back to the shadows following him around like I didn’t know what it felt like to have him touch me.
It was maddening.
I now know what it feels like to have him look at me the way only he does, but does that mean anything? Just because I feel the way I do, it doesn’t mean that he feels the same.
At the end of the day I’m still his stalker. Will I ever be more? Do I want to be?