Chapter 17
Atlas
Her confession has me reeling. I don’t think I’ve ever stopped to think about how hard it might be for her to not remember.
I couldn’t imagine how I’d react to waking up and it all just being gone.
Will she hate me if she ever finds out the secrets I’m keeping from her?
It takes everything in me not to tell her everything.
The words slip out before I can stop them. “So what now?” Her confusion is evident on her face as her wide eyes lock onto mine.
“What do you mean?”
My heart is pounding in my ears. I’m not sure I’ll be able to survive depending on what her answer may be. “After everything you just said, where does that leave us? Where does that leave me?”
“I’m not following…”
“Do you want me in your life, Chaos? Am I just a placeholder for you while you figure everything out? I need to know what this is between us and if you plan to go back to Trevor. Save me from myself before I get too invested in something I can’t have.”
Her hand wraps around my wrist, stopping me in my tracks. I didn’t even realize I was pacing until she stopped me. “After everything I just said, that’s what you’re worried about?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“I wouldn’t have unloaded all my baggage at your feet if I didn’t want something real with you, Atlas. You’re standing here asking me what’s next when I was panicking thinking you were going to tell me to leave.”
“Then stay.”
“You don’t mean that.” I can see in the way that she looks at me she’s trying to rebuild every wall I had to break through. She’s trying to protect herself from the rejection that’ll never come.
“I mean it. Every word. Move in. You can have your own room, your own space, but stay with me. You don’t need to stay tied to Trevor if you don’t want to. We can figure everything out when we get to it, but let me help.”
“Okay,” she said it so quietly I almost missed it.
“Wait. What did you just say?”
“I said, okay. I’ll move in.”
At least I know my ears work. For a moment, I was so sure I imagined her answer. I didn’t think she’d agree that easily. Without hearing any of the reasons I prepared for her, she agrees. Not even a full discussion about it.
I drop the conversation for the time being. She said okay and for now, that was good enough. We could figure everything else out tomorrow. “We should probably eat even though it’s probably cold already.”
She laughs, “Yeah. You’re probably right.”
Emily
We finally get around to eating the food he made for us. It’s ice cold but it doesn’t matter. I’m starving and it tastes amazing even without it being hot. It looks like some kind of pasta. There are sundried tomatoes, mushrooms, and sliced chicken in a pinkish orange sauce.
We eat in complete silence, the only sounds being the movie playing in the background and our forks scraping against our plates, but it isn’t awkward.
It usually isn’t now that I think about it.
With Atlas, I never feel I have to force a conversation just for the sake of talking.
It’s like he understood me without me having to tell him.
He asked me to move in and I didn’t hesitate. I said okay the minute the question slipped out. I don’t need to think about it. It may sound crazy but I knew right away I wanted to be here with him. This feels like home.
The movie ends and I stand to take our plates to the kitchen, rinsing them off before placing them in the dishwasher.
When I come back to the living room, he’s lying back on the couch pressing play on another movie.
He gestures for me to walk to him. I hesitate but eventually, I give in.
The moment I’m within reach, his hand wraps around my knee and he pulls me to him.
I know he’s only trying to get me to lay down on the couch with him, but I pivot and drop to my knees in front of him.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
“I’m thanking you for dinner. What does it look like?”
“I didn’t cook to get my dick sucked, but you already know that don’t you?”
“And if I want to? Are you telling me I can’t?” I run my hands up his thighs batting my lashes for a little added flair. He clenches his jaw and the growing tent in his sweatpants is proof enough he wants this just as badly as I do.
I use my index finger to trace the outline of him while my other hand grasps the band on his sweatpants. I flick my eyes to him, waiting to see if he plans to stop me. He doesn’t stop me, just gives me a subtle nod to continue.
“Tsk tsk, if you make me use my words, then you have to use yours. A nod just won’t do.”
I yank his sweats down just far enough to free him, his dick popping free and resting against his belly button.
My fingers wrap around him, giving him a light stroke.
I circle my tongue around his tip in slow, teasing licks before licking pre-cum from his slit.
His skin is as soft as velvet. I kiss his hip before biting hard enough to leave a mark.
I want him to look at it and remember me leaving it just like I will for all the marks he left me.
I place another kiss at his base. I want to keep pushing until he snaps.
Then I lick underneath, following the vein from base to tip.
A groan leaves him. His fingers tangle into my hair, yanking my head back far enough that I’m forced to face him as he leans closer to me.
“Keep playing games and I’ll tell you no.”
A chuckle slips out of my parted lips. “Just be a fucking good boy and-“ I don’t get to finish my sentence. My words are cut off by his dick being shoved down my throat. I wonder what pushed him over the edge. Was it the good boy part?
He fucks my mouth with abandonment and I love every single second of it.
I moan and gag around him as he uses my hair to match my pace with his.
I knew he was getting close. His movements get sloppier as he swells in my mouth.
He thrusts one more time before stilling in the back of my throat.
He plugs my nose as he spills his cum forcing me to swallow every drop before allowing me to breathe again.