Chapter 13
Are you bored of me already?”
Tamara
For the first time in my whole life, I felt like I belonged. Like I was one of them and not an outsider. Like I was actually wanted.
Filbur, his family, his people…They were all kind. Patient. Good intended.
I had spent so long thinking I didn’t deserve such happiness that I often felt overwhelmed by the smallest kindness. And Filbur—my partner—was always here, holding my hand through it all.
“Are you excited?” Guidy asked, walking next to me.
It was our last traveling day and I couldn’t wait to see the house Filbur kept telling me about. “I am,” I said with a smile, Tegha bouncing next to me as she held my hand. “But I think Filbur is even more excited to get there than I am.”
“I bet,” Guidy said. “He is getting old. Must be complaining about his back again.”
A red hand suddenly appeared and gave a soft slap to the back of her head. “I heard that.”
“You are just mad that I am right!” she nagged after he quickly left to go back to his tasks.
She wasn’t. Not really. I mean, Filbur did complain about the lack of comfort of the migrations, but the main reason he was eager to arrive was because of me.
We’d been married for almost two weeks. And, even though they all tried to give us as much privacy as they could, we really wanted to be alone for a bit.
Turns out, we were loud. Too loud for our voices to be concealed by the thin material of the tent, and my lovely husband did not want people to hear me.
The last two weeks had been filled with a lot of sneaking around, and on the rare occasions that we would actually do things in our tent, Filbur had kept his hand on my mouth to muffle the sounds. Not to forget that I often ended up flooding wherever we were…
He’d been concerned at first. Enough that he’d reached out to the humans after not finding anything useful in the book he had now read enough time to memorize. The conversation had been awkward, but reassuring. Not all women did this, but it happened.
For me, it seemed to only occur when his damn fingers were inside me, pressing on this damn spot that made me completely euphoric. I couldn’t help but wonder if it would happen when we were finally going to have sex.
I was ready—more than ready, actually. Filbur had managed to cure most of my anxiety with his kindness, affection and presence. Now he was the one slowing things down. First, because he wanted our first time to be special. Second, because he didn’t want us to be forced to be quiet.
“We will take you on a tour when we arrive,” Tegha said, excited. “You have so much to see!”
“Fil’ will be the one giving her a tour, Tegha,” Guidy scolded.
Tegha frowned and it looked adorable. “He cannot. He has a job, remember?”
She waved in his direction. He was moving through the crowd of walking, colorful Cancos, offering assistance and care to whomever needed it.
“Actually,” Juni, their oldest sister said as she stepped closer, “Father told me I will be assisting someone else for two weeks. There is something called a partnering vacation. Our dear uncle will not be working for two whole weeks.”
Two weeks? I blushed and looked down, hiding a smile. He didn’t tell me about this…Was it his way to surprise me?
I was really excited about the beginning of our new life together.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, sneaking up behind me to hold me in his arms. His hands found their way to my lower stomach. He dropped soft kisses on my temple.
“I told you I’m better. It’s over now, you don’t have to worry.”
He hummed, unconvinced. I was freshly off my period, and it would be a lie to say that Filbur hadn’t freaked out when he noticed I was heavily bleeding four days ago.
Apparently, Canco females didn’t have any and, although it was explained in the book, he hadn’t expected the amount of blood that would be involved.
He’d been fussing over me ever since.
“Come, I prepared a plate for us.”
I followed after him, his hand soft as it held mine. I waved to the girls and Filbur’s brother, all sitting at the biggest table closest to the buffet. Their mother—Sunia—was filling a whole plate with some fruits, glancing at them affectionately.
I didn’t have the time to get to know her yet, but the few interactions we had were great.
She had arranged a few of the outfits given to me so they would fit my body better.
It wasn’t easy having breasts among people who didn’t.
Now, all my tops and dresses didn’t feel as constricting as they used to.
“Why do we always eat alone?” I asked him as we sat on the warm sand under the shade of a large tree.
He arched a brow, the corner of his lips creasing into a soft smile. “Why, are you bored of me already?”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course not. Tegha and Guidy complained about it earlier, so I was wondering…”
He handed me an already cooked skewer. “Many reasons. First,” he said as I took the stick from his hand, “I am still feeling a bit selfish. I want you all to myself for just a little longer. Second, I am giving you the time to adjust. I know you are nervous among people and I do not want you to feel pressured. I love my family, but they can be a lot when they are all together.”
This was actually a good and adorable reason.
I leaned forward to kiss him. Just a peck on the lips, but his face still turned slightly purple as he cast wary glances around.
I had come to learn that Cancos were very private about intimacy.
And yet, he never pushed me away, no matter how self-conscious he felt or how many people were around.
What I had interpreted as disgust or reluctance at our wedding ceremony was in fact shyness. And yet, he’d still kissed me like his life had depended on it…