Chapter 24
Mark really didn't want to stop talking before they had hashed things out, but Olivia was probably right.
They probably should take some time to think about it, but more than that, to pray about it.
After all, as far as he was concerned, it wasn't his decision to make.
He'd already decided that God wanted him with Olivia, so there wasn't anything for him to think about other than was he going to do what God wanted, or was he going to give in to his worldly fears and take things slow and be cautious?
Was he afraid of getting hurt? Was he afraid that Olivia wouldn't be perfect? Because she wasn't going to be perfect.
He slid his phone on and said, "Hello?" He had forgotten to look to see who it was.
"Mark.” It was Noah. “I know that you've been busy doing some Secret Saint activities all day, which goes along really well with your job, but I just found out about a family who's been stranded in the snow since before it began. No electricity, no heat, and they're running out of food."
"Okay. I've got some groceries left from what everyone brought for the church. I can run those out yet tonight. And—"
"That would be perfect. I don't suppose there's any leftover soup?"
"I've got some homemade bread here. And... yeah. It's not leftover, Olivia just made it tonight."
"Olivia is there?" Noah asked, sounding surprised.
"Yeah. You should have been able to see that her side of the street didn’t have electricity until just a bit ago."
"Oh. Yeah. I guess I wasn't thinking about where she was staying. She seems so self-contained."
"She does. But that doesn't mean she is." He glanced at Olivia, who sat in the chair, staring at her feet. Maybe she didn't want to look like she was eavesdropping. He felt bad that he was making her uncomfortable.
And then he realized that she might be curious about what he was talking about. What was he going to say?
"All right. I'll text you the address. Are you sure you'll be able to get out tonight?"
"How hard is it going to be to get into their driveway?"
"They've been working to shovel it, although they're not finished.
They have a small path to walk on, not driveable.
But if they know that you're coming, they'll be out there to meet you.
They have one cell phone that has not died yet, and they're being very judicious about its use, but I can text them and let them know.
Or I can give you the cell phone number, and you can let them know what time you'll be at the end of the driveway. "
"All right. That sounds good. I have a few things I need to wrap up here, so it's going to be a little bit. But if you give me their number, I'll text them."
"All right. Thanks a lot."
They hung up, and Mark looked at his phone for a minute before he lifted his eyes to Olivia.
"I'm sorry. I wasn't sure whether I should stay or leave."
"I guess... I guess that's something else we need to talk about. I don't believe that a married couple should have secrets about anything. Other than maybe Christmas or special occasion gifts that are meant to be a surprise, but not hidden secrets that we're keeping from each other."
"I agree. But in your role as pastor, there will probably be things you're going to be talking to people about that you can't talk to me about."
"I've never run into this problem before, and I'm not sure what I'll do about it, but I guess I want to present the two of us as together... So, especially if I were to be counseling a female, I would want you in the room with me."
She blinked, as though that surprised her.
"Why?"
"I don't think it's a good idea for a man and a woman to be in a closed room together.
Not only could I lose my ministry if it was her word against mine that something happened, but you don't want anything to happen, and you don't want to give yourself the opportunity.
Being in a closed room with a female could put you at risk.
I don't want to risk my marriage for anything.
It's more important to me than anything else in the world, other than my relationship with Jesus, and that would affect my relationship with Jesus. "
She nodded. She understood what he was saying. It was better to not give oneself the opportunity to sin at all. And maybe that seemed a little odd.
"I agree that there should be no secrets. I do think that if someone tells you something in confidence, that's a little bit different, but I also think that you're right about being in a closed room. I had never considered that before, but it's not something that comes up in my line of work."
He kind of wanted to talk to her about her line of work.
She had said on previous occasions that she only worked because she had to.
He wondered how she felt about continuing to work.
He didn't want to tell her she had to, or tell her that she couldn't. But he wanted her to do what worked best for her, and for the ministry.
"So can I know what that phone call was about?" she asked.
He lifted his brows, and then a little smile turned up the corners of his mouth. "What I'm about to tell you, no one else in town knows other than Noah."
"Okay," she said, sounding curious but also cautious.
"Have you heard of the Secret Saint activities?"
"Yeah. Everyone in town has."
"That's me. And I have a partner."
"You’re the Secret Saint?" she asked, her eyes getting big and her brows going up.
"Yeah. Hopefully that's okay?"
"Wow. I'm... I'm shocked. I guess it makes a lot of sense, though. Although, how long have you been the Secret Saint, because you just became the pastor this fall."
"My other church wasn't that far away. Only about forty-five minutes.
And since I had no family, and since I'm a pastor, and I have a tendency to get around and know things other people don't, I’ve been helping.
Pastor Johnson had recommended me to some of the other people who have been the Secret Saint over the years. "
"So it hasn't been you all along?"
"No. I think some people have gotten married, and when you start to have a wife and children, it becomes a little bit harder to sneak around in the middle of the night."
"Yeah, that kind of looks suspicious in some ways."
"Yeah. But honestly, I don't even know who all the Secret Saints were. I just know who my partner is now."
"I don't need to know that."
"I was just talking to him. Like I said, I don't think there should be secrets between us if we're going to be married.
Is that what we're looking at still?" He supposed that they weren't married yet—maybe he didn't need to out Noah—but he was feeling pretty confident.
Maybe she wouldn't do what God wanted her to, or maybe he was dead wrong about what God wanted, but he was more certain than he'd ever been about anything other than his call to preach, that he was supposed to marry Olivia.
"Yes. That's what we're talking about. And I know I said we could think about it, but I'm convinced.
I know this is what God wants. And for me to fiddle and fuddle around would just be me not having faith that God's gonna work everything out.
I can't say that I have no fear—that I'm not scared—but I can say that I have total confidence in God’s plan, and I know my part is to just walk forward, without concern for anything but doing what God wants. "
He nodded, feeling satisfied.
"Can I ask where you're going?"
"The Hodge family, outside of town."
She drew her brows together, and then tilted her head. "Aren't those the people who left the church when they found out that the church had decided that you would be the next pastor? And they took three other families with them?"
He nodded slowly, his stomach still curling at the thought, but he knew what God wanted him to do. He'd forgiven them long ago, and now was his chance to not just prove it, but to do something kind for them. What did the Bible say about heaping coals of fire upon their heads? "That's the family."
"And you're taking your own food out of your own refrigerator to them?"
"Well, part of it is stuff that you made. So if you don't want me to, I won't."
"No. It has nothing to do with me. They just were very, very mean to you."
"And that's true. But the Bible says that we're to be kind to people who are unkind to us.
That we're to turn the other cheek. That we are to allow vengeance to be the Lord's.
I mean, the Bible is full of forgiving people for what they've done, allowing God to handle it, and loving them and being kind to them anyway.
I wouldn't be a very good pastor if I didn't practice that, would I? "
She shook her head slowly.
"But I don't want you to think that it's easy.
I spent a lot of nights lying awake, wondering if I'd even have a church because of all the rumors that were flying around and the lies that those people told about me.
I can't say that it doesn't still hurt, that I don't still get a twinge whenever I think about them.
But I don't have to feel perfectly happy in order to do the right thing, right? "
She nodded her head, and he knew she wouldn't argue with him. She knew he was right. There was no way she could present the other side using the Bible, because it just wasn't there.
"I'd love to have you go along, but I know you can't leave the boys." He lifted a shoulder. "I know Mrs. Tucker has said to me that she'll come give me a hand anytime."
"And she's offered to watch the boys multiple, multiple times, and has. I just hate to bother her."
"I don't think it's a bother. She's retired, and she feels like she's not as useful as she used to be. She looks for things to do to be a blessing. You're actually giving her a blessing by allowing her to help you."
"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you." She sighed. "I'll wait up for you."
"You don't have to." But he couldn't stop the surge of pleasure that went through him at the idea that there would be somebody waiting at home, keeping the lights on, waiting to welcome him, caring whether he made it or not. It had been so long since there was anything like that.
"No. I want to make sure you get back okay, for one. And... I just want to see you again."
He smiled, and swallowed, then he put his hand on her knee. Immediately she put her hand over top of his, and their fingers twined together.
He wanted to say something, tell her that he was falling in love with her, that he did love her, that he would always love her, but he felt like it was too soon.
The world didn't think that a person could love someone so deeply and so fiercely after such a short time.
But biblical love didn't have anything to do with one's feelings.
It had to do with decisions a person made, and a commitment a person had, and a person's character as well.
He could've said that he loved her before he even met her, and then his actions could've confirmed that that was true.
Still, he didn't think that they were ready for another deep discussion about love.
So he just squeezed her hand and then stood. "I'll be back as quickly as I can."
"Be careful."