Chapter 16 #2
"Well, I've been doing this for a while, so don't think that you're going to just start being perfect overnight.
Not that I'm perfect by any stretch," she said, slapping the bread around and then forming it into a ball.
"But what I do is, I'm on a schedule to read my Bible through in a year.
So I read that first. And then I pray, and sometimes I pray before I read, just to ask God to show me what He wants me to learn.
I'll take notes, copy out verses—it's not a quick process.
I take at least a half an hour, and sometimes even double that.
And then I have verses that I'm memorizing.
Those are the verses that I think about, kind of chew on, work on throughout the day.
Those are the verses that I'm putting into my memory.
Because the Bible says I need to hide His word in my heart so that I won't sin against Him.
God obviously wants us to memorize the Bible.
So I work a little day after day. As I get older, it's gotten a little bit harder, but it's also true that the more you do it, the better you get at it. Like anything else."
Marjorie gave her a small smile. "Does that answer your question?"
"Yeah, it really does. But I don't know where to start."
"I do think there's a place for Christian books and Christian teachings and all of that.
And you definitely want to be in church.
You learn a lot from church, but you need to make sure that the pastor is opening up the Bible and teaching directly from it.
Expository teaching is best, but if he gives a sermon on Sunday morning and does expository teaching on Sunday night, you're getting both. And that's good too."
"So you do think that reading good books on the Bible is okay?"
"Absolutely. But the more that you're in the Bible, the more you can look at those books and go, 'Oh, I don't agree with that,' or 'I think they've got it wrong here,' or 'They said this, but they didn't back that up with the Bible, and I don't think that's right.'"
"I see. So you read those books to be encouraged and challenged, but you also read them using the Bible as your yardstick, making sure they line up with it?"
"That's exactly right. That's what you need to do." Marjorie smiled. "Now, it's my turn to ask you a couple of questions."
"All right," Kate said, putting her hands up as though she were willing to answer whatever Marjorie asked her.
"Are you settling into town okay? Are you happy at the farmhouse? And how are things going with Jack and Lilly? I've heard that you've been working with them. There, how's that for firing a bunch of questions off at you?"
Kate laughed. "I don't know if I can remember them all. But I can answer the easiest ones first. I love the farmhouse. Love it. I wish it were mine. Except... that would be coveting, wouldn't it?"
"I think coveting is when you want something for your own, but wishing is a little bit different." Marjorie sat down in her chair with a small sigh. "But I also think it's best to be content where you are, with what you have. Sometimes that's the best way for God to see that you're ready for more."
"I'm definitely content with what I have. And if I never own a place as nice as the farmhouse, I can just assume that that's not what God has for me."
"That's the spirit. I love that, too, because the farmhouse isn't that big. You're actually content with very little."
Kate supposed she was right. It just seemed so expansive when she was outside looking at the view. It was inspiring, and it really was hard not to wish that it was hers.
"Now, about settling into the community. You've really helped with that by suggesting that I'd be your helper on this Christmas festival. I've definitely gotten to know a lot of people, and I've been enjoying my work. As for Jack... I suppose I'm a little more drawn to him than I should be."
"What do you mean by that?" Marjorie asked, sounding truly confused.
"Well, he's got a lot of memories tied up in his wife, whom he obviously loved very much."
"He did love her, I am sure of it. But Lauren was... she was a good woman, but I always felt that she had a hard time focusing on anything but the candy shop. Jack and Lilly kind of got left behind sometimes."
"Really? I would have thought from the way Lilly was acting that her mother doted on her."
"Don't get me wrong. It wasn't like she was neglected, but I think maybe Lilly is pining for what she wished she had, or maybe she hoped that she would eventually have it. I don't really know much about it, but... you can't rule that out."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"What about Jack?"
"What about him? He's... offered me a place to stay in return for me helping his daughter and working in the candy shop."
"You two seemed pretty in tune with each other.
I think that's the right way I want to say it.
It wasn't like every time you looked at each other, there were sparks flying the way you could see with some couples, particularly younger ones.
But it was more of a mature attraction. Was I wrong about that? "
Kate stood speechless. Flabbergasted. Marjorie had said exactly what she felt, but she didn't really want to admit it.
"If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. I was just telling you what I thought I saw."
"Yeah. I think you saw correctly. But he doesn't seem the slightest bit interested in me. So there's that."
"That's not what I thought I saw," Marjorie said, her brows furrowing. "Is there something that he feels is coming between the two of you? That could be keeping you apart?"
"Not that I know of, except I'm not sure I'm interested in getting involved with someone who has so much baggage—his late wife, struggling with the candy shop, and also with Lilly.
Although he and I have been talking about just accepting Lilly the way she is and not worrying about whether or not she ever talks. "
"But it would be best for her to talk, wouldn't it?" Marjorie asked gently.
"I think it would be, but maybe God has something he needs her to go through, to learn from this, and to use eventually. I don't know. It's not that we've given up on her ever speaking; it's that we decided that we weren't just going to focus on what she didn't have."
"I think that's very wise. Very wise indeed," Marjorie said thoughtfully.
She seemed to be letting the idea of Jack go, which Kate appreciated.
She didn't know what to say about Jack anyway.
She couldn't deny that she was attracted to him; it did feel like a mature attraction, not the hormone-driven, "I can't keep my hands off of you" teenage or young adult type attraction.
"He's a good man, and I would love to see him settle down with someone who appreciates him."
"I'd like to think I would appreciate him, but... I think we're getting way, way, way ahead of the horse, since we're just friends, and I don't know that we'll be anything more."
"If you say so," Marjorie said. "Maybe you could ask him. Or maybe you could ask him if there's a reason why you couldn't be more?"
Kate wouldn't have even thought about doing that on her own, but when Marjorie suggested it, it sounded totally reasonable. Why wouldn't she ask him and see what he said? After all, she had wondered.
But she wouldn't want to ruin whatever kind of friendship they had. They did have a nice friendship going, and rocking the boat could ruin that. Although something told her that rocking the boat could make it even better.