Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
J ack lifted his head to the cool December air and smiled. Kate truly did like him, and they were going to be a couple.
He walked around the car and opened her door, watching as she stood gracefully, and then holding his hand out and watching her slide her fingers into his.
Was there a better feeling in the world?
He wasn't sure there was, and he felt like he was walking on air as he closed her door, and they walked toward the restaurant.
Maybe the candy cane shop wouldn't make it.
Maybe Lilly would never talk much. Maybe he would regret giving up the chance he had to farm with his brother.
But it felt like all was right in the world, as long as Kate was beside him, and he knew he was doing what God wanted him to do.
They made it to the restaurant door, and he pulled it open, allowing Kate to walk forward, and then following as a host seated them.
They gave their drink orders and then perused the menus for a bit.
It was simple fare, nothing fancy, and he felt like he should be taking her to a much nicer place, but Kate didn't seem to care, and he really couldn't afford it.
"Maybe it's not fair of me to ask you to be with someone who has nothing. I mean, my shop is struggling, and I might not be successful after all."
"I don't care. If it doesn't make it, we'll figure something else out. Isn't that what success is? Just failing until you make it, right?"
He'd never heard that, but he had to laugh a little, then he lifted his shoulder. "I guess. You're sure that's not going to bother you?"
"No. It's not. Trying and failing is far better than not trying at all. And I'm completely behind you, no matter what."
"Then maybe you can help me figure out what I'm going to do for the festival. I wanted to make some kind of heritage candy that was really special, since I don't want to lose this opportunity to put my shop out there and snatch up all the great advertising that being the featured shop garners."
"Then I'll help you. I don't really know much about candy recipes, but I can search the Internet."
The waitress came, and they both gave their orders. He laughed as she ordered the special, which was what he had intended as well.
They shared a smile after the waitress left, and then he said, "Lauren had a bunch of recipes in the storage shed out back.
Stuff that had been passed down from her parents and grandparents and great-grandparents.
You might be able to find something in there.
I just... I haven't taken the time to go through the things.
But you're welcome to do whatever you'd like. "
"All right. I can start there tomorrow after I get home from school."
"That would be perfect, unless you have something else you wanted to do?"
"My intention was to be with Lilly and help you. That fits right in with all of my plans." She smiled. "Plus, I really want you to do well with the festival."
"I need to talk to my brother about selling my share of the farm, but even if he agrees, I'm betting that he won't be able to come up with the money right away.
I'm going to have to be able to make enough money from the festival to tide the store over until the money from the farm comes in.
So, with my big supplier pulling out, a lot hinges on this. "
"No pressure." She smiled, but he knew that she was taking it seriously, and he appreciated that.
Her hand sat in the middle of the table, now that she wasn't holding her menu, and he slid his over and put it on top of hers.
She turned her hand immediately, and their fingers threaded together.
There was just something about that that made him feel connected and at peace. He watched their fingers for a bit, noticing the differences and loving the fact that they were not the same.
"You had things you wanted to talk to me about?" she prompted him when he was quiet for a bit.
He looked at their hands for another few seconds before he raised his gaze to hers.
"I guess I just wanted to tell you a little bit about Lauren. I felt like you deserve to know, and especially now that you've agreed to be with me, and we're thinking about the future together. Not that there's a whole lot to tell."
"You don't have to if you don't want to."
"I don't necessarily want to, but I think you deserve it. After all, I was married before, and she's Lilly's mother, and you should know."
"Lilly obviously adored her."
"She did, and Lauren was a good mom. But she really was focused on the candy shop.
And... I think our relationship suffered some, because she felt like she needed to call the shots all the time.
I wanted us to stay together, especially after Lilly was on the way, and that's why I left the farm, moved into the candy shop, and went to be beside her.
I suppose a lot of me resented that. Maybe that's what came between us, but by the time she died, we were barely talking.
I... I don't want to allow my relationship to get like that in the future.
I should have told her how I felt, although in my defense, I did bring it up multiple times, and she told me that if I wanted to be a farmer, I could move back out to the farm and be a farmer, but she was going to stay right there.
There was no discussion, and I felt like I made the only choice I could to keep our family together. "
"Wow. I... I hope I don't do that. I hope I can be flexible enough that we can make a decision that benefits both of us."
"I guess that's where I was going with that. I feel like the candy shop is Lilly's heritage, but you and I have a life to live before Lilly grows up. I don't want to force you into being a candy cane maker's wife if that's not what you want."
"It doesn’t matter to me. If you make candy canes, if you expand the shop, if you sell it and become a farmer, I don't care. I'm with you."
That made him feel right and good the whole way down to his soul, and he squeezed her hand.
Kate wasn't the kind of person who said things just to make him feel good, and he knew she meant exactly what she said.
"Even if I want to move to California?" he asked, only half joking.
"Where you go I will go," she said, and then continued, "your people will be my people and your God my God." She laughed a little.
"You can say that with ease. God's done too much for me for me to ever turn my back on Him now."
"It's good to hear. It's nice to see gratefulness too. I think so many times we just expect that God owes us, and we forget that it's the other way around—we all owe a debt we cannot pay, couldn't even hope to begin to repay."
"Yeah. It's an unfathomable debt."
The waitress brought their food, and he waited until she left before he continued. "But we're to serve Him out of love, not because we have to."
"True. But following Jesus is one little decision after another, to not fulfill the lusts of the flesh, but to follow after the spirit. Each decision builds on the next, until you have a lifetime."
"That's the truth. Sometimes we lose sight of the big picture."
His food looked delicious, and they prayed and then began to eat.
"What did you want to talk about?" he asked.
Kate had her mouth full, and she finished chewing and swallowed before she spoke.
"Last year this time I was engaged to be married."
He blinked, feeling like he'd gotten punched in the gut.
"Engaged?"
"We were serious. I'm sorry, I guess this is something you should have known before, but I didn't know that you and I were headed in this direction."
"No. I'm surprised, but it's fine. I understand why that probably wasn't the thing that you would introduce yourself with: 'Hi, I'm Kate, I was engaged last year.'"
She laughed, as he had intended, and it made him feel better too. So she'd been engaged. Wow.
"He broke up with me on Christmas morning.
I thought I would never trust anyone again.
You know, the way it always happens—after someone betrays you in that big of a way, you think you're never going to do it again.
But you are so much different than he was.
I couldn't imagine him loving his daughter the way you love Lilly, and being faithful to anything the way you've been faithful to the candy shop.
You're just completely different, and it isn't really even that much of a stretch for me to know that you'll stay with me forever. "
That made him feel good. For sure. Those were words that a man could use to keep himself warm for a very long time.
"So that's one of the things you like about me?" he asked softly.
"Your faithfulness? Your dedication? Your perseverance, and your love for your daughter? All of those things are things I love about you. They make you the kind of man that a woman can admire and depend on."
He didn't realize that their meal was going to be a series of her making him feel like he was ten feet tall and could do anything. It was a shock to know that she'd been engaged, but to be compared so favorably to her broken engagement definitely eased that in his mind.
"I don't want to be presumptuous, but I guess I don't want to draw things out too long. I want to make sure that Lilly is okay with us, and that you're sure?—"
"I'm sure. And I don't think we need to worry too much about Lilly.
Especially since she began to talk whenever you came.
It's obvious that she's okay with her mom being in heaven, and she wants a new mother.
I... I couldn't help but think when she was saying that that I wanted her new mother to be you. "
Kate's cheeks turned a becoming shade of pink.
He figured, while he was embarrassing her, he could go on. "I would like to have more children too. I'm hoping that might be something you're interested in?"
She nodded. "I love kids. That's part of the reason I became what I did, so I could be around them all day long. But I've always wanted a family of my own."
"It's okay that it's a little bit ready-made?"
"That makes it even better. Lilly is an angel, and I adore her almost as much as I adore her father."
Maybe it was the company, but Jack figured he'd never eaten such great food, and they shared a banana split for dessert. Then they walked hand-in-hand along the river, despite the cold. His heart felt warm and happy.
Kate seemed to be in the same kind of frame of mind. Neither one of them wanted to go home.
But they both had to get up early, and so reluctantly, he led her back to the car, opening the door for her, and drove her to the farmhouse.
"I forgot to leave my light on. Thankfully, the walkway is pretty flat."
"There is that one crack in it that's been there since I was a kid. I'll walk you in."
She gave him a grateful smile, and he wasn't sure whether it was because he was walking her in, whether she was actually scared of tripping on the crack, or she just didn't want the evening to end either.
Regardless, she waited for him to come around and open her door, and then they walked hand in hand up the path that he had walked all his life.
"You grew up here?" she asked softly.
"I did. Up until I was in junior high, and then my parents built the bigger farmhouse that Bryan lives in now."
"And he's not married?" she asked.
"No."
"Which direction is it?" she asked as they reached the end of the walk and climbed the stairs to the door.
"It's about a half a mile that direction. Just keep following the driveway, and you come to the barn first, then you go past that, and the house is beyond it."
"What were you guys going to do with this house?"
"I guess he was thinking about renting it out. I really didn't have any thoughts about it at all. That's part of the reason I didn't offer it to you to begin with. It just wasn't on my radar. I've been so focused on the candy shop."
They had stopped and turned to face each other. He lifted a hand to her cheek. "Right now, I was thinking about kissing you good night."
"I like that thought," she said easily, and she turned her face up to his.
Moonlight shone down, and a few stray snowflakes floated past.
"I think this will go down as one of the best nights of my life.
Definitely one of the best weeks. Lilly started talking after years, and I am with the most amazing woman I've ever met in my entire life.
I really don't see how life could get better.
" He shivered. "It's a little scary. If it can't get better, there's only one way for it to go. "
"And whatever happens, we'll handle it. It doesn't matter which direction it goes."
He loved that—that she was so secure in what God wanted for her life, knowing that He wanted the best for her, that whatever happened, she'd see the best in it and be content. That was inspiring.
"I love that about you."
"I love you."
He grinned. "I love you too."
He lowered his head and kissed her gently, pleased when her arms came around his neck and pulled him closer.
He didn't kiss her long—it was really cold—not nearly as long as he wanted to.
"I really don't want tonight to end," he whispered softly as he lifted his head.
"Same." Her eyes sparkled up into his.
"I like the idea of a short courtship." He was only half joking.
She smiled, but she nodded. "I really like that idea too."
"We'll have to talk about that sometime soon." He sighed. "In the meantime, I better get home. Mrs. Abernathy is probably asleep on my couch."
"Oh. I don't envy you the job of waking her up and getting her home."
"She said that I can let her stay there. I might tonight. I think I would like to keep the good memories close."
"Text me when you get home?" she said.
He nodded. And then, even though he knew he shouldn't, he lowered his head and kissed her once more. It was a beautiful night, perfect in every way.