Chapter 18 #2
But again, she simply holds up the babysitting club book and grins. “I love this series. I haven’t read it in a long time. Maybe I could borrow it sometime?”
“Sure.” My heart is racing. She’s so full of life, and I want to be like her. I want to feel the way she obviously does. Happy. Free. Little?
I sit on the mattress and scoot back to the pile of pillows.
June joins me. When she picks up one of the stuffed bears, she says, “I love teddy bears. I’ve got one that’s really old and a new one that Daddy got me.”
Feeling more relaxed, I reach for the doll I’ve been sleeping with. “I really like this doll. I remember one of the girls having a similar babydoll at one of my foster homes.”
“She is pretty. Plus, she’s soft, so you can sleep with her.”
“Yeah.” I’m not sure what to say. I feel like a fish out of water.
“Are you going to stay?” June asks softly.
I shrug. “I don’t know. Cannon says he wants me to, but I’m having a hard time…trusting him.”
“I get it. It’s hard for me to trust, too. I was married to Pete for three years. He wined and dined me, rushed me to the courthouse, and then lured me to that damn house of his. I was stupid and na?ve. I still feel like an idiot for falling for him. There were red flags, which I ignored.”
I reach for her hand and give it a squeeze. “I did stupid things, too. I could kick myself.”
June’s eyes are watery as she takes a deep breath. “Well, the important thing is that we’re here now. Blade says that Cannon feels deeply for you. I hope you’ll stay. I know it’s super strange at first learning what it means to be Little, but I can already tell you are enjoying it on some level.”
When she glances around at our surroundings, I giggle. “Yeah… I don’t know. I’m still trying to grasp it. I mean, who wouldn’t like the idea of someone taking care of them in every way? I think I keep asking myself why? What does Cannon get out of it?”
June smiles broadly. “Oh, he gets everything out of it. Doms in general—but Daddy Doms in particular—are deeply fulfilled by caring for their submissives. It fills their tank every time they do something for us.”
“That’s so hard for me to grasp. I’d think he would be exhausted from cooking for me and then cleaning up after me. He even fixed my hair.” I reach up and touch the bows.
“It’s so cute. He did a good job. I think these Daddies must take classes on how to care for a Little. They must have seminars about pigtails,” she jokes.
I giggle again. Every time I make that sound, I feel lighter.
I want that. I want a life where I don’t have ten thousand things to worry about.
I’m not sure how practical it is in the long run.
Even if I stayed, I’d have to get a job.
I can’t just live here rent-free and mooch off Cannon for the rest of my life.
Plus, what if something happened to him and I was left alone again?
I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself, and that feeling is horrifying.
“Do you work?” I ask June on a whim.
“Yes. I teach English as a second language online. I used to be a teacher before I met Pete, but the asshole insisted I quit my job, and then when I escaped him three years ago, I went into hiding so he wouldn’t find me. I started teaching by video chat, to keep myself safe.”
“That sounds cool.” I look down. June has a job. What kind of job could I possibly do that would bring in a useful amount of money? I don’t even have a high school diploma, let alone a college degree.
Cannon mentioned me getting my GED and going to college, but that’s so far out of my realm of comprehension I can’t even entertain it.
“Are you okay?” June asks softly.
“Yeah…” I try to suck back my emotions, but it’s hard. I can’t stop the unwanted tears that trickle down my face.
“Hey… I’m sorry. Did I say something to upset you?”
I shake my head, trying to stop crying.
June wraps her arm around me from the side and sets her head against my shoulder. “It gets easier. I promise. I know you’re overwhelmed.”
I nod. I can’t speak without sobbing, so I hold my breath instead. When I finally get my shit under control, I decide to change the subject. “Did you break your arm?”
“Yeah. I mean, I didn’t break it myself. This is actually how I met Blade. I was attacked outside my apartment. I managed to get away, but the asshole broke my arm.”
I gasp and pull back to look at her. “I’m so sorry.”
She shrugs. “Lord knows worse things have happened to both of us.”
“True.”
“Anyway, the cops picked up my attacker. I was at the police station the next morning to identify him. Blade was there with another woman who was also attacked by the same man. Her name is Simone. Maybe you can meet her someday. She’s super sweet. Long story short, that’s how I met Blade.”
“I guess we both got lucky, didn’t we?”
“We sure did. And the best part is that I only live two floors above you. We can get together anytime we want.”
I wipe my eyes and smile at her, beyond grateful that I met her.
She points at my shirt. “This is so pretty.”
Looking down, I laugh. “I love it. I didn’t know I would like something like this, but I do.”
She twists sideways, sitting up taller. Her expression is conspiratorial, and she glances toward the open door before saying, “We should have a shopping day. We can get together and order clothes and put them on our Daddies’ credit cards.”
I cover my mouth as more giggles erupt. I’m nowhere near being at a place where I would spend Cannon’s money, but this banter is making me float with happiness.
We jerk our gazes toward the open door when one of the men clears his throat.
Blade narrows his gaze at June. “What naughty plans are you making?”
For a moment, I hold my breath, staring at him. His voice is firm. But then I see the twinkle in his eyes and remember what Cannon told me. This is their dynamic. June does something naughty, and Blade reprimands her. It’s so odd, but I think I like their banter.
She rolls her eyes. “Daddy… Just because we’re whispering doesn’t mean we’re planning something mischievous.”
He chuckles. “Is your bottom not sore enough from last night, Miss I’m Innocent But I’m Going To Roll My Eyes While You Question Me?”
I shift my gaze to June who has risen to her knees and winces as she rubs her butt. I find myself shockingly intrigued and…jealous. Does he spank her when she rolls her eyes? I’m going to have to try doing that.
June bounces to her feet. “I was just suggesting to Eloise that we do some online shopping together since she doesn’t have much to wear.” She glances at me. “Wasn’t I, Eloise?”
I nod. “Yes.” Thank God she isn’t asking me to lie. That might be something she does to get into trouble, but I doubt I will ever be able to incorporate lying into my repertoire.
Cannon comes over to me, takes my hands, and pulls me to my feet.
He cups my face and kisses me, which makes my cheeks heat.
Kissing him is new. Kissing anyone is new.
I’m out of breath when he’s done, and it was only a small peck.
“I think it’s a great idea. Why don’t you do that this afternoon after your snack?
I’ll set you girls up with a computer at the kitchen table.
You can shop while Blade and I get some work done in my office. ”
“I—”
Cannon puts a finger over my lips. “I can see your panic. You’re worried about money. Wipe it out of your mind.”
I’m breathing heavily. I’ve never shopped for anything other than the basics in my life, let alone online. “I don’t know how,” I mutter.
Cannon kisses me again, making my brain cells scramble. “I’m certain June will help you. I bet you’ll have the hang of online shopping in ten minutes.”
“I’ll definitely help her,” June says excitedly.
Blade laughs. “I’ve created a monster.”