Chapter 9
CHAPTER 9
L uc hopped into his compact sedan as the bright sun warmed the air around him. He loved his car. Had it for years, but it might be time to upgrade. The staff at the hospital mentioned needing four-wheel drive out here during the winter months. He’d never driven in snow before and, honestly, he’d admit the thought intimidated him a little. A newer car, perhaps an SUV, more equipped for the upcoming road conditions was just another thing to add to his list of growing responsibilities.
Not a problem. He was a big fan of responsibility. It kept him on track. Gave him purpose. A goal to reach for. Something to occupy his time and mind. Responsibilities were his bread and butter.
But he wasn’t looking forward to today’s.
Today he had the unpleasant task of heading down to Denver to check on his dad. A necessity and the main reason he moved out to Colorado, but it didn’t make the task any more pleasant. He loved his father and hated him all at the same time. A strange feeling, but through years of Families of Addicts group meetings and counseling, he’d learned that emotions were rarely cut and dry. They were messy, confusing balls of TNT poised to explode at any moment and turn your life to hell. Precisely why he learned to manage his. As best as he could, anyway.
Speaking of messy emotions, his mind wandered back to last night. To the thing he’d rather be doing at this moment than driving into the city to check how drunk his dad is today.
Charlie Jackson.
Yeah, a big ball of confusing mess surrounded his feelings about that woman. He had no idea what it was about her that made him so, so…primal. He couldn’t think of any other words to describe the feelings she stirred in him. Just looking at the woman caused his gut to clench, his body to harden. He found himself fighting, reaching way down deep for that calm and cool collectiveness he never had any problem exhibiting around others. Just her. She brought out his inner caveman. The one who wanted to claim her, devour her.
She made him hunger.
Last night had been so incredibly stupid. He knew better. Hell, it wasn’t like women hadn’t thrown themselves at him before. He lived in Vegas most of his life. The land of endless bachelorette parties where lonely bridesmaids loved to live out the ‘what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” fantasy. Something about the nerdy professor vibe he gave off appealed to women according to one of his ex’s. He wasn’t a monk by any means, but Luc had always been picky in his choice of lovers. His family life was difficult, and a lot of women didn’t understand why they couldn’t always come first. He had to take care of his mother and sisters once his mom finally kicked his dad to the curb.
You don’t have to look after them now.
No, he did not. His mother retired last year and was enjoying being a grandma to his sister’s kids, both of whom had found love with solid partners. Being the big brother, he’d warned each of his in-laws there’d be hell to pay if they ever broke his sweet sisters’ hearts but going on five years for Ophelia and three years for Fay, he’d say his sisters chose well. They were happy. They were secure.
They didn’t need him.
But his dad did.
Which was why he was pulling off the highway, following the exit sign that led into the Mile High City, when he’d rather be knocking on Charlie Jackson’s door and taking her up on last night’s offer. Unlike the party girl offers, or the less-than-subtle Kim Holt, Charlie hadn’t begged or teased him about what she wanted. The woman flat out asked.
Is it against the rules for you to date your students?
Damned if his entire body hadn’t hardened to the point of pain at her simple question. Hell, his dick was hard now just remembering it. In that moment he’d wanted nothing more than to sweep the feisty, hard-ass woman up in his arms, haul her into her bedroom and discover how soft she really was. Because Luc would bet his license that underneath all her bristle and badass attitude lay a soft, warm woman who desperately wanted someone to be vulnerable with.
He could be that someone. Gladly.
His thoughts of Charlie and the conundrum this mutual attraction presented vanished as he pulled into his father’s neighborhood. The run-down area was in a lower-income part of downtown. Funny, since it sat within walking distance to an area called the Golden Triangle. One of the richest parts of downtown. That was the city for you. Rich and poor practically on top of each other. So much wealth close to so much poverty, but none of it shared. Didn’t seem fair. True in Vegas, true in Denver, true in life.
He parked on the side of the road, locking his car and setting the alarm. His fifteen-year-old car wasn’t worth much, but crimes of opportunity didn’t care what things were worth. A mark was a mark. Years of living in Sin City taught him better safe than sorry.
He made his way into his father’s building, ignoring the man on the stoop offering him drugs. He made a mental note to look up community services in Denver that helped addicts. He couldn’t do much for this man living in Kismet, but maybe he could help the guy find some resources next time he dropped by. Not that the guy asked for his help, or ever would, but Luc couldn’t stop that voice in his head that screamed everyone deserves another chance.
No matter how many times his father’s actions tried to squash it.
And speaking of his dad…
A sharp, hot burn hit him square in the chest, knowing what drunken state he was going to find his father in, as much as he wished otherwise. He closed his eyes briefly, calling up the exercises he’d been teaching recently. The same ones he’d learned years ago. After a few calming breaths his temper evened out again. He continued making his way into the poorly maintained apartment building.
His father lived on the first floor. When he got to the door, he sighed in relief at finding it closed. Last time he’d come by it had been wide open and he’d found his father passed out on the living room floor. Fear and anger froze him and for a moment he hadn’t known what to do, but thankfully—that time—his father had simply been passed out drunk. No ambulance call needed and luckily no robbery occurred.
Raising a hand, he knocked on the door. It swung open to reveal his father. Gray hair, thin and patchy on the top of his pale age spotted head. A smile curled up his lips, causing his already wrinkled face to crease even more. He stared down—because his dad stood a good four inches below his six foot two—and gave a smile in return.
“Hey, Dad.”
“Lucius. My boy, I didn’t know you were coming by today.” His smile slipped. “Did I forget again?”
His father had been having memory problems lately. Tended to happen when one drank a bottle of whiskey a day.
“No, Dad. You didn’t forget.” Because Luc liked to surprise his father. If the old man knew he was coming he couldn’t gauge the situation accurately. Which was why he surprised him.
This, for once, looked like a good surprise. His dad appeared coherent. He didn’t smell like he needed a shower. He did appear to be on the skinny side. A symptom of drinking all his meals?
Dammit.
Luc rubbed at his chest where a dull ache started to grow. He had a few memories before the drinking began. Just a snippet here and there as a child. He remembered his dad being larger than life. The smart, funny, college professor who knew everything. What the hell had happened? It killed him to see his dad like this.
“How are you doing?”
“Oh, pretty good. I’ve been going to those classes you mentioned. Very helpful. I’m doing better, Son.”
“That’s great. Can I come in?” Because even if his dad looked sober, he knew better. He had to check the place out. Addicts lied.
His father hesitated a moment and all the hope in Luc came crashing down.
“Well, um, you see. The place is kind of a mess. I had a few of the guys over for the game last night and…”
He tilted his head, glancing over his father and into the apartment. On the beat-up coffee table in the living room, he could just barely see a bottle of dark amber liquid, a few inches missing from the top. A closer glance at his father revealed pinkness in his cheeks and a glossy sheen in his light brown eyes. He wasn’t drunk…yet. But judging by the bottle and his father’s reluctance to let him in, he had been heading that way.
“Dad, you don’t have to—”
“It’s always great to see you, kiddo. But today’s not great for visits. I…” His father averted his eyes, but not before Luc saw the shame filling them. “I’m trying.”
“I know you are,” he said, but what he really wanted to do was shout try harder! “You still getting those meal plans?”
He’d set up a monthly meal delivery service for his father. He wouldn’t give his dad any money. No question where it all would go, but he couldn’t stand the thought of his father going hungry. By the looks of the clothes hanging off his body, Luc wanted to make sure the old guy was still eating.
“I am.”
“Good.”
They stood there, avoiding the huge goddamn elephant in the hallway like they always did. Finally, his father reached up and patted him on the shoulder.
“Thanks for stopping by, Son.”
“Yeah. Take care, Dad.”
Disappointment and anger fueled his every step as he made his way back out to his car. Shit! Why did he always do this to himself? It’d been years. Why did he keep this pathetic hope that his father would change? The divorce hadn’t worked, the move, his sister’s refusal to let their father see his grandkids. Nothing had prompted his old man to see rock bottom and finally admit he had a problem. Luc was beginning to wonder if anything ever would.
As he pulled out onto the street, heading back to Kismet, he had a change of mind. Turning the wheel, he instead headed toward the lower downtown district or what the locals called LODO. There were bars a plenty down there and while he wasn’t going to get a drink, something in him needed to go. He needed to see, to assure himself that people could have a good time, enjoy themselves without letting things get out of control. He needed the reminder of the real problem his father faced. Not the booze, but whatever pain it covered up.
He wished he knew what that was. Maybe he could help if he knew the root of the problem.
He knew he could go back to Kismet and settle in at Jacks, but Charlie worked there and after last night’s…weirdness, he couldn’t bring himself to be around her. Not when he was so on edge. No telling how far he’d take things if he saw her right now. He needed a release for all this swirling turmoil inside him and losing himself in Charlie Jackson sounded like just the right outlet. But that wasn’t fair to her.
Charlie deserved more than a down and dirty roll in the sack. Besides, something about the woman called to him on a deep level. If he was being truly honest with himself, he had to admit what he really feared.
That a few nights of fun with Charlie Jackson would never be enough.