Chapter 23
CHAPTER 23
L uc hated the way he left Charlie. He hated that he’d gone to her in the first place. Being with her was something he could never regret, but he should have waited until he’d cooled down. It hadn’t been fair to ask her to take on all his excess. He’d been rough. No matter that she seemed to like it. Still didn’t make it right. Ashamed of his lack of control, he’d snuck off at the crack of dawn leaving only a note saying he’d call her.
That had been a week ago.
Every day he told himself he’d call or text and every day he didn’t. He kept making excuses, saying he’d see her around soon. Kismet was so damn small it seemed he ran into everyone at least twice a day. Everyone but Charlie.
Because he’d been avoiding her.
Anger and confusion churned low in his gut. He hadn’t been this conflicted since his mother kicked his dad out of the house the first time. His heart and body screamed for Charlie’s soothing touch, the sweet comfort she offered just by being near him. But his brain told him to back the hell away.
The kind-hearted woman didn’t need to get mixed up in his shitty family drama. As much as she tried to play the bad-ass, Luc knew deep down she was soft as nougat. He knew what would happen if he let her in.
She would offer to help, probably meet his father, get sucked into the old man’s charm and end up with the wrong side of a wrecked car. Just like Jim.
His dad didn’t mean to, but he sucked people dry until they were just shells of themselves. It was the addiction that did it. The same way it had him blow through his and his sister’s college funds. He could still see the devastated look in his mother’s eyes when she realized his father had wasted everything they had on booze. The day the bank foreclosed on their house; he’d never seen her that…broken. It haunted him.
Luc couldn’t let that happen to Charlie. He couldn’t drag her into any of this. She’d already been through enough pain in her life. She didn’t need his mess of a life destroying hers.
He’d been a complete bastard and scurried out of her bed after one of the most intense nights of lovemaking in his life. He’d been ignoring her texts, avoided getting in touch with her because…hell if he knew. The two sides of him were warring with each other. One wanted to keep her, enjoy the sense of serenity and fires of passion she caused within him. The other, rational, side argued to let her go. Find someone whose life was a little less complicated.
He couldn’t decide between the two. So he did nothing. He ran away, promising to get in touch, but never doing so. And here he was eight days later, at the hospital, his mind a million miles away from work.
The heavy stomping of footsteps on the hard floor brought him out of his musings. Everyone at the front desk snapped to attention, ready for an emergency. Nina and Dean relaxed when they saw who entered, but Luc tensed. Charging into the hospital with fire burning in her pale blue eyes, stormed Charlie Jackson.
She looked pissed and, honestly, he couldn’t blame her. Her turbulent gaze locked on him as she barreled forward. A woman on a mission. He just hoped that mission didn’t involve cutting his boys off.
“Damn, you’re alive,” she said with a sneer, stopping just on the other side of the front desk where he stood handing off a patient file to Nina. “And here I was hoping you went hiking up Saint Mary’s Glacier, fell and broke your stupid city boy neck.”
“Ouch.” Dean sucked in a sharp breath. “Harsh, Charlie.”
“Can it Dean!” She pointed a threatening finger at him. “Right now, only Luc is on my shit list, but I can add names all day long. Just say the word.”
Dean held up his hands in defense, but leaned over to whisper to Luc, “Dude, what the hell did you do to piss her off?”
Used her to work off his frustrations then left before the bed was cold with a promise of contact, but ghosted her instead. Ya know, standard male assholery.
Focusing on him once again, Charlie crossed her arms over her chest. “So you didn’t die, fall into a coma, or move to Peru. Did your phone burst into flames and you suddenly had specific amnesia as to where I worked and lived?”
Wishing like hell they could do this somewhere else, anywhere else, he tried his best to pretend his coworkers weren’t standing right next to him, tuned in to every word uttered.
“No.” He could expound on that, but he knew nothing he said would make this situation better.
The anger on her face waivered, replaced for a split second with hurt. Dammit! Hurting Charlie was the last thing on earth he wanted to do. He knew he’d been a dick, but he was staying away for her sake. But she didn’t know that. Because he hadn’t told her. Because he was a dick. A selfish, chicken-shit, dick.
“Un-fucking-believable!”
Throwing her hands up, she turned and headed out of the hospital.
“Charlie, wait!” He called to her, but she just kept walking.
Pushing away from the desk, he started to run after her before remembering where he was. At work. On shift. He wanted to run after her. Try to explain why he’d done what he did, but he couldn’t just leave. He had a job to do, people to help. That meant something to him. But Charlie meant something too. Much more than he ever realized.
He whirled back around to face Nina and Dean.
“I need ten minutes.”
Nina checked something on her computer and nodded. “You don’t have any appointments until this afternoon, and I doubt we’ll need you for an emergency consult in the next ten minutes, but I bet Charlie only gives you five. We can handle things here for a bit. Good luck.”
“You’re going to need it and a cup from the death glare Charlie was giving your balls.”
He glared at Dean—even if the man did have a point—thanked Nina and hurried out after Charlie. Luck was on his side for one moment. He caught her just as she was getting into her car.
“My dad’s an alcoholic.” He had no idea why he blurted that out. It was the middle of the day. Anyone could be around to hear it. All he knew was he didn’t want her driving off hurt and angry. He wanted to make things better. As well as he could. So, he went with the truth. It worked because she paused in her movements. Popping back out of the car and standing by the open door.
“What?”
“My dad. He’s a drunk, an addict. He has a problem. Has for a long time now. It was bad in Vegas. So bad my mom finally left him. For good. She’d done it a few times before but…she loved him. Still does, but she couldn’t stand by his side while he slowly killed himself every day. His drinking lost us everything. Our house, our college funds…our family. At one point he was a good man, a good husband and father, but then…hell, I don’t know, but he took to the bottle like it was his only friend, the only thing that mattered.”
Sharp pain seized his chest, causing him to suck in a harsh breath. Saying it out loud, that his father preferred the mind-numbing salvation of the bottom of a bottle to the warm loving arms of his own family, hurt. It damn near cut him to pieces, but he had to say it. Had to let her know just how bad it was and exactly why that made him a poor choice as far as relationships went.
“He moved out here to get a fresh start. I followed to keep an eye on him. He’d been doing okay. I mean, he’s always had his ups and downs, but I thought he was really finding his footing this time. Really trying.”
Tears burned in the back of his eyes, but he refused to let them surface. His throat tightened and he had to clear it, twice, before continuing.
“The other night, the night of our date. The call I got was from Denver PD. My dad borrowed a neighbor’s car. He got drunk out of his mind and crashed it into a tree in Wash Park.”
“Oh Luc...”
Charlie hurried from behind the car door to his side. She placed a soft hand on his arm. The gentle touch burned like livewire, shooting straight down to his soul. Fuck, he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and take her lips until nothing in this world mattered. Not his family, or his father, or job. Nothing but the two of them. But life didn’t work that way. Obligations had to be dealt with. He couldn’t taint her with his…failure. If he couldn’t even help his own father get better, how could he be a good partner to Charlie?
“Is he okay? Did anyone get hurt?”
“No. He was lucky enough to only total the car. No one was hurt.”
This time. In his years working side by side in the medical field he’d seen horrible things. Terrible accidents, scenes burned into his very soul. Horrific images he could never get rid of. He was so damn grateful his father hadn’t added to that. He didn’t think he could ever forgive himself if his father’s drunken actions killed an innocent person. Logically he knew it wouldn’t be his fault, but logic and emotion rarely went hand in hand.
“Luc, I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
“Because I didn’t tell you.” He didn’t tell anyone.
“So, what’s going to happen to him?”
Who the hell knew at this point. If this wasn’t his father’s rock bottom, he didn’t know what would be. Damn, he hoped this was the rock bottom.
“I don’t know. I’ve been talking with the lawyer assigned to his case this week. She thinks if we ask the judge to send him to a mandatory six-month rehab, he can avoid jail time, but this isn’t his first offense so who knows.”
“Shit, I’m so sorry I came barging in and yelled at you like that when you’ve been dealing with all…this. I didn’t realize. Is there anything I can do? Anything I can help with?
The concern in her eyes only confirmed his suspicions. Charlie cared, and that caring would get trampled by his father. He could lie and say the reason he didn’t call her this week was his preoccupation with his father and the trouble he was in. The numerous calls to the attorney. But he didn’t lie. Not to her. Not to Charlie. He couldn’t. She didn’t deserve that. Just like she didn’t deserve to be stuck with him and his father’s problems.
“No. It’s not your problem, Charlie.”
She pulled back at his gruff tone, but quickly covered the hurt in her eyes.
“I know that, but when you—care about someone, you want to do anything you can to try and help. Let me help you, Luc.”
He wanted that. So damn much. Wanted someone else to help lift this heavy weight from his shoulders. Someone to ease the burden of love and hate that was the relationship he had with his father. But it wasn’t fair. He couldn’t do that to her. He had to end this thing. For her own good. To save her from the inevitable destruction that would come. The truths of the matter was, Charlie was too good for him and he knew it. Even if she didn’t.
Soul begging him to do the exact opposite, he shook his head. “No. I don’t need your help.”
She shrunk back at his denial as if he’d struck her. He supposed he had in a way. Struck her with his words. His refusal. Hating his father, this situation, himself, he scrubbed a hand over his face and reached for her.
“Charlie, I don’t think this will work. I’ve…I don’t have time right now for anything serious. This was fun, but it’s over. I’m sorry.”
Pulling away from his touch, her eyes narrowed. Hard little slits of glittering blue ice stared at him. All the softness and concern she’d held a moment ago vanished, only ire and spite remained.
“It was fun? Oh please. Spare me the bullshit.” Her voice was soft and sweet, as she flung the sharp-edged words. “I’m an adult Luc, not some starry-eyed teenager. Don’t give me some cliché crap about why we can’t be together. I know why. Because you’re too chickenshit to admit that maybe, for once, you’re the one who needs help. The one who needs someone to lean on. But you can’t do that can you? Because you have to be the perfect one, the one who never makes any mistakes. Heaven forbid you ever let someone else take even a fraction of your load for you.”
“That’s not true,” he scoffed even as her words hit home. “I’m trying to do the right thing here, Charlie. You don’t need to deal with…all this mess. It’s my responsibility. I’ll handle it.”
She swore under her breath. “You need to drop the savior complex or one day you’re gonna wake up to realize you helped everyone but yourself and now there’s nothing left but a shell of a broken man.”
With that final barb, straight to his heart, she turned and headed to her car. She peeled out of the hospital lot on a squeal of tires, dirt spitting up, peppering his face and eyes. He did nothing to stop it. He deserved it. He words rang out with a truth he couldn’t deny. Charlie was better off without him. She’d see that someday. She’d find someone else, someone who wouldn’t drag her down with the shit in his life. And whoever that guy was, Luc hated him. Because that mystery man would be getting the best damn woman in the entire world.
Asshole better deserve her. Because Luc sure as hell didn’t.