26. Delaney
DELANEY
Ipromised myself, while getting ready to go out tonight, that I wouldn’t sleep with Connor. Not until we sit down and talk everything through, not until we figure this whole thing out. Sleeping together would complicate an already precarious situation.
My confidence in my ability to keep that promise wavered back in the booth at Gustoso, when my whole body lit on fire with the simple press of his arm against mine.
I lost a little more resolve when he protectively shielded me from the barrage of photographers as we left.
But all reason went out the window when he looked at me while I was singing in the car.
Focus. Devotion. Adoration. A look so tender it nearly stole the breath from my lungs.
Love.
In that moment, I realized he’s been looking at me like that my whole life.
Now that I’ve seen it, seen him, I want him to see me too. In the light of his love, my vow of self-control looks less like discipline and more like barbed wire wrapped around my weary heart. And the ravenous look in his eyes might as well be wire cutters, because I don’t stand a chance.
The big farmhouse is silent except for the sound of our bare feet against the wooden staircase and the heavy rhythm of our breathing. I let Connor lead me up the stairs, thankful for his steady hand keeping me upright through my lust-filled haze.
I know the way by heart. The decorations might’ve changed when he bought the house from his dad, but this place is burned into my soul.
This moment feels surreal and entirely ordinary at the same time.
Inevitable, like no matter what the universe threw our way, we were always meant to end up back here, childhood memories layered together to form the foundation of our soul-deep connection.
Connor doesn’t stop moving until we are a few feet from his bed. He drops my hand wordlessly and lets out a shaky exhale.
My heart thunders against my ribs. The heady feeling from Connor’s lips on mine begins to fade, and in it’s place, anxiety rushes over me. In the brief silence, my insecurities threaten to spill out, and I brace myself for rejection.
My racing thoughts grow louder and louder. He just got caught up in the moment. He doesn’t actually want this. He doesn’t really want me. The electricity I feel must all be in my head.
“We don’t… we don’t have to do anything. I can go.”
I start to turn towards the door, but Connor’s hands are on me in a flash.
“Delaney, I finally got you in my bedroom after all these years and you think I want you to leave?” His voice was rough with disbelief.
“Baby, I’m not sure how to make this any clearer.
I never want you to go. Not now, not tomorrow morning, not the day after that.
I want you, Lanie baby. Tonight and every night that you’ll have me. ”
His eyes trace me from top to bottom, and even fully clothed, I feel bare in front of him.
“Now,” he says, voice coarse as he walks me backwards toward the edge of the bed. With a gentle push, I fall back onto the mattress. “I’ve told you before, if I’m fucking you, it’s because we’re in love.”
His throat bobs as he swallows hard. He takes his blazer off, then slowly uncuffs and rolls up the sleeves of his white dress shirt, and fuck if it’s not the most seductive thing I’ve seen. My mouth goes dry.
“And I don’t know too much about love,” he says, stepping in closer to me. “but I know I want the world for you. I know I can’t stop thinking about you. And I know that no matter what happens after this, I’m yours.”
Those delicious dark forearms reach out as he cups my face delicately in his hand. He drags his thumbs across my cheeks and I shiver in response.
“Delaney, I don’t have all the answers. But I know I love you, and that’s enough for me. Is it enough for you?”
The heat in his eyes burns straight through me. I reach up to close the space between us, winding my arms around his neck as I rest my forehead on his.
“More than enough, Connor,” I whisper. “I love you.”
Those three words seem to flip a switch inside of him. Connor pushes me back onto his bed, caging me in with his arms on either side of my body. The smile I love so much dances on his face.
“Lanie baby, that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard you say.”
We stay like that for a moment, desire pulsing between us, while the significance of that admission sinks in.
The depth of our history, the significance of the last few months, the uncertainty that waits before us, it all fades away.
I love him.
I’ve always loved him.
I let that feeling take root, grounding me in the here and now. I’ve had a lot of once in a lifetime moments, but this, loving someone and being loved in return? This beats them all.
Slowly, with so much care it makes my heart ache, Connor unties the straps around my neck holding my top in place. He pauses, giving me every opportunity to say no before sliding the silky fabric away.
I make no move to stop him.
“Fucking hell, Lanie.”
He rocks back onto his heels, kneeling at the edge of the bed as I push up on my elbows, my chest bare before him. “God, you’re sexy.”
The reverence in his voice sends shockwaves through me, leaving me frozen in place.
Connor stands and gets to work on the buttons of his shirt, eyes locked on mine the entire time.
It’s methodical, deliberate, and so fucking hot.
My stomach drops as I take in his chiseled chest, and as his hands drop to his belt I’m forced from my stupor.
“Let me,” I whisper.
And he does.
His fingers twist into my hair as he pulls me closer while I undo his belt, then the button on his jeans, then slowly drag the zipper down.
He yanks on the hair woven in his hand and I let out a little gasp as he angles my head back, forcing my gaze to meet his.
“You say the word baby, and we stop. I’ve waited a long time for this. I can wait longer if you need.”
The contrast of his tender words with the domineering way he tightens his grip on my hair unlocks something in me. A hunger I never knew I had. There is no stopping it now.
“I want this,” I say, eyes locked on his. “I want you.”
Connor gives me one sharp nod, then narrows his eyes.
“Eyes on me, baby. The whole damn time.”
His commanding tone is electric and goes straight to my core. Then he softens again, a gentle hand pushing a stray hair out of my face.
“I love you, Lanie Lou.”
I believe it.
With each kiss he plants across my skin, I believe it. With each gentle touch as he lowers himself down to me, I believe it. And when he groans, completely undone by me, I believe it.
“Fuck, baby,” he mumbles into my neck, his breath hot as he grinds down on me. “I’m telling you now, this is not going to be my best performance. I’ve spent too many years dreaming about this.”
I give a breathless laugh, euphoric from his words alone.
Connor’s dark eyes meet mine as he hovers above me. “You laughing at me again?” He licks his lips, gaze trailing down my body, coming to rest at the one piece of clothing still in place.
“Lose the panties.”
The rawness in his voice is electric, setting my whole body ablaze. I hook my thumbs into the waistband and slide them down my legs without breaking eye contact once. Connor snatches the scrap of fabric from my ankles and tosses them over his shoulder.
Kneeling over me, he takes in my bare body. “Perfect. You’re so fucking perfect, Lanie.”
I can’t answer, can’t even find my voice. Not when he’s looking at me like it’s a privilege. Desire floods my body and suddenly I’m desperate in a way that I’ve never felt before.
Connor must feel it too because he strips the rest of the way down in an instant.
I let out an audible gasp, because a naked Connor Majors is a sight to behold.
Connor smirks as he closes the space between us. I’m still frozen with anticipation, and maybe a little trepidation, when his lips meet mine. Skin against skin, he’s all muscle and heat. Every nerve is on fire, each point of contact buzzing under his touch.
Connor shifts us both so I’m kneeling above him.
“You set the pace,” he whispers. His hands reach to his bedside table for a condom and he deftly rolls it down his length before resting his hands on my hips.
“Take what you need.”
Slowly, I lower myself onto him, pleasure crashing through me as I adjust to the stretch. I’m tempted to close my eyes, to hide from the intimacy of the moment, but the tender look on Connor’s face keeps me anchored right here with him.
A groan escapes his lips as I take him fully, and I’m almost undone by the sound alone.
“Better than I could have imagined,” he murmurs.
And it is.
We lose ourselves in each other, touching, exploring, tumbling toward euphoria together. Ecstasy builds steadily as our movements become more frenzied, and before too long, we’re left trembling after the pleasure crashes over us in waves. The whole time Connor’s eyes never leave mine.
Eventually I collapse onto his chest, fully spent.
We stay tangled together until our breathing slows. Then he gently rolls me to rest on my side before stepping away into the bathroom.
I’ve never felt this way before. Equal parts desire and peace.
It’s love. I’ve never felt love like this before.
I wake to the soft sound of breathing and feel the corresponding rise and fall of Connor’s chest at my back.
I need to get the fuck out of here.
Last night was incredible. Walls down, heart-to-heart, completely consumed by each other, I’ve never experienced anything like it. But this? Lying together in the aftermath… this has me panicking.
Quietly, carefully, I slip out of his hold and drop to the ground to try to gather my clothes in the dark. I fumble around for a solid minute feeling for my panties before giving up. Call them a consolation prize for Connor.
I’m nearly to the bedroom door when I hear a sleep coated voice from behind me.
“Delaney, why are you crawling across my floor naked in the dark?”
I cringe. “Caught me.”
I hear Connor scooting out of the bed. “And what, exactly, did I catch you doing?”
I cringe harder as he crawls up beside me. “Umm, I was… sneaking out.”
Connor reaches for me, and as cuddle-adverse as I may be, I can’t resist the pull of his steady hands.
He hauls me up into lap right there on the bedroom floor, and I just barely make out the sharp lines of his face.
He looks amused, a smirk playing on his lips, but I don’t miss the flicker of hurt that passes over his eyes.
“Lanie, are you literally running away from emotional intimacy?”
I gulp. “Uh… yes?”
Despite myself, I shift deeper onto his lap, my body craving the connection.
“Baby, you can go if you want. But I’d really rather you didn’t.” He glances over his shoulder to the glowing clock face behind us. “It’s two in the morning. At the very least, go sleep in the guest room across the hall rather than walking home in the middle of the night.”
Reality sets in.
I’m sitting here with the most incredible man, who loves me, has always loved me, and I can’t get away fast enough.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
The sting of tears hit before I can stop them. I let one fall, then another.
Connor immediately brushes the tears away. “Lanie, baby, what’s wrong?” He grabs my shoulders and pushes me back by my shoulders, as if he’s checking for damage. “Did I hurt you?”
I’m quick to shake my head. “No, no it’s not that.” My voice cracks. “Connor, you’re perfect. I… I’m just not used to this. The cuddling all night thing. I’ve never really had a morning after.”
A sly smile creeps onto his face. “So what you’re saying is, I’m your first overnight guest? I love having another one of your firsts, Lanie Lou.” He presses a kiss to my temple. “You don’t have to stay. Not if this feels like too much.”
It does feel like too much. I’m too much.
But now that I’m back in Connor’s arms, leaving suddenly feels impossible.
“Besides,” he mumbles into my hair, “if you stay the night, I can almost guarantee a morning quickie before you leave.”
I swat at his bare chest, letting my hand rest on his firm pecs. “Connor Majors, are you bribing me with sex?”
“Yes,” he says plainly. “Is it working?”
I climb back in Connor’s bed.