28. Delaney
DELANEY
Was I completely blindsided by Mr. Majors’ request at brunch? Yes. Was it tactless and a little rude for him to put me on the spot like that? Yes and yes. Did I want to shoot him my best I don’t fucking think so look and tell him to cut Connor loose from the orchard while I was at it? Duh.
But I guess Ridgecrest has changed me because while my knee-jerk reaction was a big hell no, simply because I’m sick of being told what to do, I paused. And in that moment of stillness, I felt Connor stiffen beside me, like he was preparing for battle on my behalf.
He might not stand up to his dad for his own happiness, but for mine? He was ready to fight right then and there over a table full of tater tot casserole.
So I said yes and painted on all the enthusiasm I could muster.
Roping in the choir kids was an excellent display of quick thinking on my end, and Mrs. Crane agreed as well. She said she’s always looking for more ways to get the students involved in community events. Her only stipulation was that I have to be the one directing them.
“You’ve surprised me, Delaney,” she said when I brought it up. “Really thought you were gonna be a giant pain in my ass. But you’ve been a faithful worker, a quick learner, and you’re good with the students. You should be proud.”
Her praise settled deep in my chest. I’ve learned so much from working with Mrs. Crane. Music history, theory, composing. I’ve never been quick to call myself a musician, but after my time working with her, I might finally allow myself to carry that title.
I am proud of the changes I’ve made these last few months.
And the PR relationship ploy finally seems to have worked. The tabloids are buzzing, not with overdramatic retellings of my drunken antics, but with lovey-dovey headlines and swoon-worthy selfies.
When my little arrangement here in Ridgecrest ends, there’s no doubt in my mind that I’ll be able to slip back into my old life seamlessly.
But looking out at the senior choir now as they pour over the sheet music for the piece we’re performing for Fall Fest next week, returning to my career is the last thing I want to do.
I want to be here.
I’m hopelessly, irreparably, devastatingly in love with my life here in Ridgecrest.
I love this beautiful old school, with its wood-paneled walls and eclectic mix of faculty. I love the quiet drive out to my house and my long runs through the orchard. I love all the students, from the clueless freshman to the rowdy seniors.
And I love Connor Majors so much it’s making me crazy.
Falling for him was like driving through the dark with my headlights off. Slowly. Cautiously. Scared to make the wrong move. Then one day, I remembered I could turn my high beams on and see I was exactly where I needed to be.
I can’t unsee it now, and I can’t dim those lights again.
He lit up my whole world… how can I walk away from all that glow now?
“Yo, Miss James!” Simon hollers at me from the back row of risers, pulling me from my thoughts. “Can I have a solo?”
His buddies snicker and high-five around him, evidently pleased they got Simon to follow through on the dare.
Mrs. Crane steps forward, a spindly finger pointed at the boys, ready to admonish their unruly behavior, but I beat her to it.
I mirror her posture, something I’ve been doing a lot lately.
“That whole little crew up there just earned themselves their own song, I think. Let me know tomorrow what piece you’d like to do and I’ll learn the accompaniment.”
The boys balk at that, except Simon, who pumps his arms enthusiastically.
“Hell yeah! It’s time for boy bands to have a comeback!”
Every eye in the room rolls, but he’s undeterred. That kid is pure joy, all the time.
How could I leave a place that cultivates that kind of happiness?
Thursday nights at Eddy’s is karaoke night, a fact that must have slipped Caroline’s mind when she invited me out.
The dingy bar is packed wall-to-wall, and the old Filipino man behind the mic is charming the room with his rendition of Strawberry Wine, a song choice that shouldn’t work, but oddly does.
“Ladies.” Connor raises his beer in a salute as Caroline and I slide in the booth across from him and Wells.
“Look at us,” Caroline says, a twinkle in her eye. “Out on a school night.”
Wells mumbles something into his glass of water as Connor elbows him in the side. He returns the jab but shoots a half smile over our way.
“We’re all happy to be here, Caroline. Mr. Grumpy over here, too. We wouldn’t miss tonight.” Connor reaches across the table to give her hand a meaningful squeeze.
Caroline catches my confused glance.
“It’s my parent’s death anniversary,” she explains with a shrug. “They died three years ago today. The boys dragged me out here when I was wallowing in my bed the first year, and the tradition stuck.”
“Any word from Noah?” Connor asks Caroline.
“Nope.” She attempts to sound casual, but I don’t miss the dark shadow that passes over her face. “But I wasn’t holding out much hope. I’m gonna go put my order in with Vic.”
As Caroline heads to the bar, Connor fills me in.
“Noah is her older brother. All-star football player, got drafted in the second round nearly a decade ago, but he never quite seemed to live up to the hype. Kinda fell off the face of the earth after their parents died.”
“Bit of a tool if you ask me,” Wells grunts. “He was in my graduating class at Ridgecrest and we ran in similar circles. Kid was always a magnet for trouble.”
Caroline makes her way back to our table with Vic hot on her heels, both laughing and carrying on. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think it was just a normal night out, not a memorial of sorts.
Caroline has a steady strength that I admire. I know from talking to the students that her science classes are always over the top and that she pours her all into her work.
“Okay, well since this whole night is because of my sad and tragic life,” Caroline says with a giggle, “I’m picking karaoke songs for each of you and you can’t say no.”
“No arguments from me.” I say, excitement starting to build in my chest. “This might come as a surprise, but I’ve never done karaoke.”
“Oh, you mean to tell us the girl who didn’t have a normal adolescence hasn’t done a lot of normal people things?” Connor deadpans. “We’re all shocked.”
“Yeah,” Wells says, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. “Nothing could have prepared me for this piece of information.”
I roll my eyes despite the warm comfort of being known that settles somewhere deep. This ragtag group has quickly become some of my best friends. With them, it’s easy to be myself. They don’t give two shits about social climbing or making connections or reputations. And God it is refreshing.
Vic plops a faded three-ring binder down on the table and taps the cover.
“Holler for me when you decide my fate,” she shouts as she heads back to the bar. “I’ll get Marcus to cover for me for a minute.”
Caroline treats the old binder of songs with dramatic reverence, analyzing each song title carefully. Connor catches my eye from across the table and pins me with that smile of his that I love so much.
“Wanna play a round of pool? This is gonna take a while.”
Connor inclines his head towards Caroline, who flips him the bird without taking her eyes off the faded pages.
“We can add this to the list of new experiences,” I say as he takes my hand and leads me to the pool tables. “Because I don’t know the first thing about playing pool.”
Connor grabs two cues off the wall and leans against the table.
“I know the basics, but I’m no shark by any means. Mostly I just wanted you to myself.” He hooks a finger through my belt loops and pulls me to his chest, thumbs drawing lazy circles on the sensitive skin right above my jeans. “You're coming home with me tonight, right?”
A carefree laugh bubbles out.
“Of course. Nowhere else I’d rather be.”
I snake a hand up his chest to cup the back of his head and revel in the truth of that statement. I’d take this, pressed up against Connor in a dingy dive bar while bad karaoke blares through the speakers, over an exclusive club or fancy restaurant any day. Nothing could hold a candle to this.
“Can I tell you a secret?” I whisper-shout over the music into his ear.
“Lemme guess… you’ve never gone bowling? Never played laser tag?” Connor dramatically pushes me away. “Oh my God. Are you a putt-putt golf virgin?”
I laugh again, easy and free.
“Correct on all accounts, but that’s not the secret.”
He pulls me in close again, kissing the top of my head.
“What is it, Lanie Lou?”
“For as long as I can remember, I’ve been doing what’s been expected of me. Sometimes kicking and screaming, but I’ve done it nonetheless. And I know that our relationship started out as just another obligation, but…” I pause, chancing a glance at Connor.
His eyes never leave mine.
“But it’s become something so much bigger than that. You make me feel like I can be myself, with no expectations.” Emotion catches in my throat. “I am becoming the person I want to be because of you.” I can barely speak the words that my heart has known for a long time.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
Connor tangles his fingers through my hair and angles my face up towards his.
“Can I tell you a secret, Lanie baby?”
My heart skips a beat.
“I never thought I’d get the chance to love you like this. I’ve loved you in silence for so long that I convinced myself that was all it would ever be. And now that we get to be together, I don’t think I’ll ever be quiet about it again.”
A soft smile plays on his lips, but it never gets the chance to grow before I kiss him, deep and sweet, like we are the only two people at Eddy’s.
A wolf whistle sounds from somewhere behind us, bursting us out from our bubble.
“Okay, you two!” Caroline shouts from the makeshift stage. “I’ve picked your song! Get your asses up here.”
Connor quickly racks our cues and we make our way over.
“Don’t Go Breaking My Heart. Fitting.” He laughs as we take the microphones.
Singing karaoke at Eddy’s is hardly a performance, but the moment my verse starts, I feel it. The intoxicating high that I’ve been chasing since I was a kid. I’ve missed it more than I realized, and a warmth settles over me as I harmonize with Connor through the chorus.
As the crowd starts to sing along, a truth hits me. I’m fucking good at this.
Singing, performing, entertaining a crowd. So much of my career has felt manufactured. I let myself get caught up in all the lies about who I am, that I’m a selfish has-been who’s future is just one big downward spiral.
But this? This magic is real. My heart is still in it.
And good God, Connor is a horrible singer. His megawatt smile makes up for the fact that he’s tone deaf, and as the song ends, he’s grinning wider than I thought possible, eyes locked on mine the whole time.
“Well, how was your first time, Lanie Lou?” His steady hand guiding me down the steps off the stage, eyebrows waggling at his innuendo.
“Pretty fucking great Connor. Thanks for popping my karaoke cherry.”
“Happily.” Connor slings his arm over my shoulder and gives me a squeeze.
“Y’all are gross,” Wells grumbles from his corner in the booth as we slide back in.
Caroline pats his hand.
“Don’t worry old man, one day it’ll be you. Hell, maybe the love of your life is gonna walk through that very door and sweep you off your feet.”
As if on cue, the front door swings open and a crew of older ladies walk inside.
All eyes at our little booth turn to Wells. After a beat, he lets out a booming belly laugh that sends us all into a fit of giggles.
“I mean, I’m all for the expertise of an older woman… but I’m not convinced I’m looking at my soulmate.”
Caroline smiles wide, but I don’t miss the glassy sheen in her eyes. I also don’t miss the tightening in my own chest. A year ago, hell, six months ago, I couldn’t have imagined finding a group of friends like this, and I certainly never expected to find it here in Ridgecrest.
With every passing day, Ridgecrest feels more and more like home.
Wells flags Vic down and nods towards the group of older women.
“Will you put their first round on my tab? Might not meet my soulmate, but worth a shot, right?”
Connor squeezes my knee under the table. His words are for Wells, but his eyes locked on me.
“Yeah, definitely worth a shot.”