Chapter 35 #2
“I assume Milly’s baby is yours,” I said, voice shaking with fury. “She made it seem to Erika like it was mine, even though I’m one hundred percent sure it’s not. She told Erika I pushed her to get an abortion. Tell me, Timothy. Did you do that to Milly? Did you tell her to get rid of your baby?”
Genuine surprise crossed his face. “No. We worked our stuff out. She was distraught and confused when she ran into Erika at the house.”
“Why were you sleeping with the woman I was dating?”
For the first time in my life, my big brother looked contrite.
“I’m sorry. It was a shit thing to do, but I swear we didn’t mean for it to happen.
It just did. I wanted her to break it off with you, and for us to be a real thing, but she was all fired up to beat Erika.
How does Milly misunderstanding me make me the reason you two fell apart? ”
“It’s always your fault,” I snapped. “You’re always trying to screw with my life. You’ve never stopped trying to break us up.”
“Look, I don’t care if you’re with Erika or not,” Timothy said with a shrug. “Seems like you two are always fighting. She makes you annoyingly bolder. Maybe it’s best if she—”
“Timothy Carlton Hurst!” my mother snapped, her voice sharp. She smacked Timothy’s arm with the flat of her hand, hard enough to make him flinch. “You will not finish that sentence. You will apologize to Josh. Right now.”
“Mom?” Timothy’s face flushed red. “I wasn’t going to say anything bad. I was about to say it was better if Erika dated Josh rather than Milly. Even so, he and Erika are always fighting. Maybe it’s better if they’re not together, at least for our family’s peace.”
“Good Lordy,” my mother muttered.
Timothy kept digging his hole. “Why should I apologize? He’s the one—”
“Enough.” Mom cut him off again, shaking her head with a tremor of barely contained fury. “Don’t you get it? This is why we’re here praying. If we lose Erika, we’re going to—”
She stopped mid-sentence, pressing her lips together as if the words were too dangerous to speak aloud.
The silence that followed throbbed, heavy and suffocating.
Softly she finished, “If that beautiful woman dies, we will lose Josh too. We all know he won’t find his way back.
We never really got him back the last time she left him.
If she’s gone for sure… Losing one of my sons before I die is enough.
I refuse to lose two.” She gripped my hand so tight it hurt.
I squeezed her hand and tried to get her to loosen up a bit. She was right. Erika gone… I couldn’t go there.
Timothy lowered his gaze, shoulders folding inward.
“I’m sorry, Josh,” he murmured, voice rougher than I’d ever heard it.
“Mom’s right.” He paused, swallowing hard, like the words were scraping their way out of him.
“Erika was right about me being messed up about everything. I need help. I know that. It was a shit thing of me to do that with Milly when she was still seeing you. But honestly, you never wanted her as much as I do. We click. You guys don’t. ”
Timothy ran a hand over his face, trying to steady himself, but his voice wavered anyway. “I—I like Erika. For you, I mean. I think she’s good for you.” His throat worked around another swallow, like he was trying to push down everything he didn’t know how to say.
“And the baby?” I prompted.
Timothy sighed. “I don’t know where that’s going.”
“You liked Milly enough to get it on with her without being careful,” Mom said.
“I taught you better than that. When you make a child, your life is no longer your own. If she carries it past three months, you’ll put a ring on her finger and make my grandchild legit.
” Said as if it was the end of the story.
“After that, it’s up to you two to figure out if you can stay together or if you’ll end up with another ex-wife. Now be quiet and pray with us.”
The silence around us tightened, thick with grief and fear and love twisted into something painful. Timothy looked up, eyes pleading for escape. “I’m…I’m gonna grab some coffee,” he said, already standing. “Anyone want anything?”
I just shook my head, not trusting my voice.
He nodded once, quickly, and turned away too fast—like if he moved slow, he’d shatter right there in front of us. Watching him walk off, I realized every single one of us was rattled.
Long minutes later, Vinny sat beside me again. He chewed on a nail that was already too short. “Coach, uh, Josh…I…”
“Yeah?” I prompted, gently.
Timothy returned and sat on the other side of Vinny with a cheap to-go cup in his right hand. One of his legs popped a rapid up and down beat.
In the smallest, trembling voice, Vinny whispered, “If Erika doesn’t make it… If she dies, what happens to me?”
My chest tightened. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him into me like I could shield him from all the grief he’d already had to endure. “Hey, look at me.” I waited until he looked up but didn’t let him go. “You’ll stay with me.”
His breath hitched, and the fear in his voice cracked something open inside me. “Won’t they… Won’t the child service people put me up for adoption or something?” His words broke apart, shaking, tears spilling.
“No,” I said, firmer this time, because he needed certainty.
I looked over at Mom. Her eyes were glassy, on the edge of tears.
And then I glanced at Timothy, who looked startled, almost gutted.
Suddenly, it made sense to me. Vinny was about the same age as our brother had been when we lost him.
Maybe this was our chance to do it right.
Maybe this was grace, handed to us raw and unexpected.
I cupped the back of Vinny’s head. “You’re ours now. You hear me? You’re a part of this family. My family. And I’m not letting you go. You’ll stay with me.”
Mom reached out and took Vinny’s hand, her voice breaking. “We’ve got you, sweetheart. We’ve got you.”
Timothy nodded, swallowing hard, like he was trying to keep control. He managed a shaky laugh, although I saw tears burning in his eyes. “We’re a pretty messed-up bunch, Vinny. You might want to think twice before you sign up for this circus.”
Vinny’s fingers twisted into my shirt, holding on like he finally believed he wasn’t about to be abandoned again.
For the first time in a long time, it felt like the broken bits of all of us might fit together.