Chapter 37
Chapter Thirty-Seven
ERIKA
“I brought coffee,” Josh announced as he set down a steaming mug, just like he’d done every morning for the ten days since they released me from the hospital.
“Thanks.” I rolled over in my own bed and smiled, taking in his work jeans and light blue scrub top. I chuckled at his orange socks that sported various types of tacos. “Great socks.”
“I know, aren’t they?” he asked in seriousness while showing off his sock-clad feet.
I planned to go into work today. Ten days was enough lying around for me. So what if it’d worn me out to take Vinny and pick him up from school yesterday? A few aspirin and I bet I could handle work.
“Good news,” Josh announced. “You don’t need to come in. Jill Caldwell was able to fill in today. So, just rest. Vinny is still asleep, but I’ll get him to school in an hour or so.”
His tone sounded strange, and he suspiciously moved to the far end of the room.
I pushed to sit on the edge of the bed. The cold air chilled my feet and thighs. “Tell me about this Dr. Caldwell. Has she worked with you before?”
His eyes flickered, that shifty, guilty kind of flicker that told me he was remembering something he wished he wasn’t. “Uh… Yeah. She’s a great mixed practitioner.”
The careful tone in his voice snapped something in me—sharp, instinctive. My pulse punched harder.
“Did you have a thing with her before?” I asked.
His jaw clenched, muscles ticking hard beneath his skin. He glanced away, then around the room, anywhere but at me. But he didn’t answer.
Oh, God. He had.
A hot crack of jealousy surged through me. I shoved myself up, ignoring the minor ache down my side. The floor wobbled for a second, but I pushed through it, pacing straight toward him.
“Joshua Hurst,” I demanded, breath shaking, “did you sleep with this Dr. Jill?”
His lips didn’t move. Pressed flat.
That silence may as well have been a confession.
“Are you still attracted to her?” My voice came out thinner than I meant, almost trembling. I slid my hands beneath his T-shirt, not to manipulate him, but because his skin was warm and I was freezing. I also needed the anchor of touching him.
He sucked in a tight breath, a sound half-strangled in his throat. I didn’t want to hurt him. I just needed closeness, needed something real to drown out the spinning in my head.
I pushed his shirt higher, leaned in, and pressed a slow trail of kisses up the centerline of his stomach, feeling him tense beneath my mouth.
I reached his chest, took one of his nipples gently between my lips.
With the heel of my foot, I nudged the door closed behind him, shutting out the rest of the world.
I lifted my mouth from his skin, breath shaking. “Is she pretty?”
His hands came to my shoulders, voice rough. “Erika, stop. You’re not healed enough for us to do anything.”
I pulled his head down to mine to kiss him hard. “It’s been a week of seeing your tempting ass flashing in my face. I’m healed enough.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he rasped out.
“Would you feel better if I…” I unlatched the button on his jeans and pulled down the zipper to palm him. I started a kissing descent down his chest.
He tried to catch me. “I’m not letting you do this just so you can prove something about some woman in my past.”
I pushed him backward. He hit the door with a soft thud, breath catching.
“Since when do you let me do anything?” My words came out raw, trembling. “This isn’t about proving something. I just—” My throat tightened. “I need you to remember us.”
I dropped to my knees before he could pull away, pressing a slow, deliberate kiss against him through the thin barrier of fabric, lifting my gaze to his, refusing to break the connection.
“Remember,” I whispered against him, voice breaking.
He groaned. A glance up revealed his blissed-out face.
I freed him and took the tip of him into my mouth. Then I released. “So… You want me to stop? Of course, we wouldn’t want me to get hurt trying to prove anything.”
“Fuck, no,” he wheezed out.
I took him into my mouth as deep as I could. He groaned long and hard. Then, I pulled back once more. “You still didn’t say who’s prettier.”
“Erika…”
I moved slowly, deliberately, my touch meant to anchor us both. “That’s not an answer,” I murmured, looking up at him, refusing to break eye contact.
His breath shuddered. “What were you asking about? Jesus, Erika—”
“I want to know if you’re going to go into work and be attracted to some old flame you had. Are you going to be flirting with her?”
“I don’t want her. I never did. I might’ve slept with her out of loneliness, but I’ve only ever wanted you.” The raw sincerity in his tone soothed me.
A tear slipped down my cheek before I could stop it. “Good answer,” I whispered.
After a few long tugs, taking him deep, his body bowed with the force of release, a choked sound breaking from his throat as he braced a hand against the door to stay upright. His eyes were dazed, unfocused with the intensity of it, chest heaving like he’d run miles.
I rose slowly, cupping his jaw, brushing a few strands of hair away from his forehead with trembling fingers. I smiled softly, victorious but aching.
He swallowed hard, eyes searching mine, still breathless. “I’ll never try to make you jealous,” he said, voice rough, almost desperate. “That’s all in the past. This is just business.”
“I’m most definitely going in today to see appointments. Maybe, after work we can send everyone home and you can finally have your way with me on that desk.”
“How about you let me take you on an official date? We kind of skipped that part in this whole renewed thing between us, but I think it’s important.
” He pulled me against him, arms wrapping around my back like he was afraid I might disappear if he let go.
Yet, he was careful not to touch where my ribs had been hurt.
His voice brushed against my ear, low and rough with emotion.
“You’ve got no need to be insecure over any woman who might’ve been in my life before.
None of them matter. You matter. You’re the only one I want here from now on.
” His voice cracked. “You were the only one I wanted back then. But I couldn’t have you. ”
His heartbeat pounded against my cheek. I swallowed around the lump in my throat.
“You know what?” I whispered.
He leaned back just enough to see my face, searching my eyes like he was bracing for something terrible. “What?”
I lifted my chin, meeting his gaze head-on, heart slamming so hard I felt dizzy. “You’re going to marry me, Joshua Hurst.”
For a breath, he froze. Then his expression broke open into something fierce and unguarded and so full of love.
“I am,” he said hoarsely. “But you’re going to give me time to work out the logistics of the asking. This is one thing you don’t get to control.” He cupped my face in both hands, eyes burning. “I get to ask. I get to do it right.” His thumb brushed my cheek. “You’re not taking this moment from me.”
And for once, I didn’t want to. I just pressed my forehead to his and breathed.