Chapter Twelve
Derek
My truck was parked down the street from Haizley’s house. I’d started doing it intentionally. Once a week, I walked past Kat’s house to Haizley’s and then passed it again on my way back.
It might seem a little stalkerish, but it wasn’t every fucking day.
My head was down as I thought about what Haizley said about what a girl wants from her dad.
Was I capable of giving Frankie love and protection?
I hadn’t done great with the protection.
I thought I was doing the right thing. Movement caught my eye, and I looked up and found Frankie sitting on the front porch.
“Hey, Curly Sue,” I greeted, detouring up the driveway. “Everything okay?”
Frankie shrugged but didn’t answer.
I hesitantly sat on the step next to her and waited a beat before asking, “Why the long face?”
She sat with her arms crossed over her knees, staring down the road the way I had come. “Do you have a girlfriend?”
Her question threw me for a loop, and when she turned to look me in the eye, I sat there shocked. All I could do was blink at her.
“I don’t have a girlfriend.”
“Then how come you always go to that house?” She looked back down the road, and I knew she meant Haizley’s house. I wondered how often she’d seen me walking by.
“Haizley is my therapist,” I answered honestly.
“You go to therapy?” When I nodded, she added, “I had to go to therapy,” before looking away.
“Because of what your dad did?” I asked, my voice cracking as I tried to control the anger building inside me. I wasn’t sure I could handle it if she told me what he’d done, but Haizley was right. If I wanted to know, I had to hear it from her.
Frankie nodded, and everything inside me ached to ask the question I wasn’t ready to hear the answer to. Instead, she asked one of her own.
“Why do you go?”
“Well, I did some things I’m not proud of, and I’m trying to learn how to forgive myself.”
“Were they bad things?”
I nodded, unable to speak past the lump that formed in my throat.
“Did you hurt someone?”
I pulled my feet up to the next step and leaned forward, placing my arms on my thighs. I held my hands together tightly, questioning how much I should tell her.
“I did. Someone I shouldn’t have hurt.”
Please don’t ask me who!
“Why?” Her questions were so innocent; she had no idea how much my heart broke having this conversation with her. Haizley’s words came back through my mind as I thought about how to answer Frankie.
“I was angry and hurt,” I said. “And I didn’t know how to regulate my emotions so I lashed out.”
Frankie nodded slowly, processing. “Mom says we’re supposed to talk about our feelings. Not keep them all bottled up until there’s no room left. She said that’s when they explode and we hurt people.”
“Your mom’s smart.” I held her gaze, making sure she understood the weight of what I was telling her. This wasn’t about seeking her forgiveness or approval. This was about her knowing exactly who I was and what I was capable of.
“Is that what you did?” she asked, her eyes wide.
“Yeah, I let it build until I couldn’t control it anymore.” I sighed and ran my hands over my face. “My dad hurt me too. And my mom,” I told her. “She wasn’t strong like your mom. She didn’t get us away.”
Frankie was quiet while I spoke. I wanted so desperately for her to understand what I’d done. More so, I wanted her to forgive me.
“My dad used to drink a lot. And when he drank, he would get angry.”
“Do you drink?” she asked shyly.
“I do; I drink beer. But I don’t get drunk.
I only have one or two after work sometimes.
My dad drank bourbon, and he drank it every night.
And then he would hit my mom. When I got a little older, I tried to stop him, and he started hitting me too.
When I turned eighteen, I left home. I begged my mom to come with me, but she wouldn’t leave.
She picked him over me, just like she always did. ”
“What did you do?”
I took a deep breath and looked over my shoulder. Kat would probably tear me a new asshole if she knew I was telling Frankie all this. But I wanted her to know me.
“I left, but I stayed close. I checked in on my mom while my dad was at work, brought her extra groceries for a while until she begged me to stop.”
“Why would she do that?”
I smiled at my daughter. She was so beautiful and innocent. She looked so much like my mother. Her grandmother.
“My dad got angry because he thought she was disrespecting him by accepting help from me. Thought she was betraying him and everything he had done for her. Which was the bare minimum.”
Frankie fidgeted beside me, and I wanted to know what I had said that affected her. When she stayed quiet and looked at me, I knew she wanted me to continue.
“Instead of buying her groceries, I brought her lunch. I made sure she had at least one good meal every day. Then I took the trash with me so my dad never knew.”
“Is he the person you hurt?”
“No,” I said, my jaw tightening as I held her gaze steady. “I wanted to, but my mom wouldn’t let me.”
“Are they still together?” Frankie asked quietly.
“No. My mom died a little over ten years ago,” I said flatly, my voice low and rough.
“He killed her, didn’t he?”
I nodded, unable to say the words to her out loud. She died never knowing she had a granddaughter. I wondered if that would have been enough to make her leave. It was an answer I would never get. Another reason the guilt ate away at me.
“My dad almost killed my mom.” Her voice was so soft I barely heard the words. I closed my eyes, praying I’d heard her wrong.
“What happened?”
The door opened before she could answer, and Kat stepped outside with us. I looked over my shoulder at her, and my breath hitched. She was damn gorgeous in her tight jeans and snug top.
“Frankie, what are you doing? Zero will be here any minute.”
“I don’t want to go,” my daughter argued, and I clenched my hands together to keep from reaching over and pulling her against me.
“Frankie, we talked about this.” Kat heaved a sigh, and her shoulders slumped.
Frankie stood and stomped up the stairs, slamming the door behind her. My eyes never left Kat.
“You’re going out with him again?”
“He asked about a movie, and there’s one Frankie’s been wanting to see.”
“Doesn’t sound like she wants to see it that badly,” I muttered, standing up.
“Why are you here?”
“I was walking by and stopped to talk to Frankie. She looked sad,” I answered, my eyes swinging to the door she’d stomped through.
“She was hurt.”
My eyes snapped to Kat. “Hurt how? Who fucking hurt her?” I heard the anger in my words, but I couldn’t pull it back. Whoever had hurt my little girl would fucking pay for it. “Did Zero do something?”
“You, asshole. You hurt her.” She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me.
“What? How the fuck did I hurt her?”
She shook her head. “You’re so fucking stupid, Derek. You’ve been hurting her. First, you rejected her invitation to eat with her. And then, at the restaurant, you had Charlie on your hip, and you took the twins and walked by without even saying hello.”
She was right. I was so angry seeing them there with Zero, I couldn’t speak to either of them without raising my voice. I didn’t want to scare the girls, so I kept my mouth shut.
“Fuck.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “I didn’t mean to ignore her.”
“Why are you walking down my street? You don’t live here.”
I looked down the street at Haizley’s house. For about half a second, I thought about telling her the truth.
“I was visiting a friend.” It wasn’t a complete lie.
“You need to go,” Kat said as Zero’s truck pulled into the driveway. I heard the door slam behind me, and the muscles in my body tensed, bracing for the impact.
He walked by me, giving me a sneer as he stepped up to the porch and kissed Kat on the cheek. “You girls ready?”
The door opened, and Frankie stepped out; she’d changed her clothes into something similar to what her mother wore.
I should have left.
I should have turned around and walked to my truck and gone home, but my feet stayed planted on the walkway. My eyes glued to Frankie.
“Can I talk to Derek for a minute before we go?” Frankie asked.
“About what?”
“It’s private,” Frankie insisted.
Kat looked at me, jealousy and anger in her eyes. I held my ground. If my daughter needed me, I’d stand here until the fucking world ended if I had to.
“Babe, give her a minute,” Zero whispered, his hand on the small of her back, and Kat took a step forward, almost as if she didn’t want him touching her.
I smirked when her eyes locked on mine. She didn’t pull away when I’d fucking touched her. No, she’d grabbed onto my shirt and pulled me against her when I put my mouth on hers.
Had Zero kissed her goodnight? I knew he thought it was a fucking date. Sam had confessed to wanting to have dinner there because she’d heard Zero talking to Ace about his date with Kat. She thought jealousy would force my hand.
She wasn’t entirely wrong.
Now here he was again, taking my fucking family to the movies.
Kat looked from Frankie to me, and I held her stare. Finally, she relented. She and Zero moved down the driveway to the truck and waited.
“What’s up, Curly Sue?”
Frankie looked in the direction of her mother and then back to me.
“I’m sorry your mom didn’t save you.”
“Sweetheart, that’s not on you.”
“I know, but I can still be sorry for you.” She looked at her mother again and asked, “Do you like my mom?”
“Frankie—” I started.
“Because if you do, you have to tell her. I can help. I know you don’t really want to spend time with me but—”
“Hold it right there, Curly Sue. Let me make something crystal fucking clear.”
I shook out my hands just as I heard Kat call out, “Frankie.”
“Just a second, Mom.”
Frankie watched me, waiting for me to answer. There was fear in her eyes at what I might say.
“I never said I didn’t want to spend time with you. I’m not good enough for you or your mom. And I don’t want to get my heart broken by falling in love with you both only to have to let you go when you find out who I really am.”
Frankie smiled so fucking brightly. “I don’t think you’re as bad as you think you are.”
Before I could argue, she threw her arms around my waist and hugged me. I didn’t hesitate to wrap my arms around her and hold on, thinking this might be the last time I got to hold my little girl.
“Frankie!” Kat yelled impatiently.
“Come to the diner tomorrow for dinner,” Frankie whispered before she took off running toward Kat. Zero was watching me as he held the door for my daughter and then Kat.
He backed out of the driveway and drove off with my family. I decided then and there, tonight might be a great night to spend a little time with my favorite niece.
I drove to the clubhouse and picked up Charlie. Sam didn’t question my motives, and something told me that if I told her what I was doing, she wouldn’t bat an eye. For weeks she’d been trying to set me up with Kat. I was giving her what she wanted.
And what I wanted.
Because I wanted them both.
My daughter and her gorgeous, infuriating mother.