Chapter Twenty-Four
Derek
I stood in the parking lot, watching her taillights disappear into the darkness.
The rage that had been simmering beneath my skin since Zero opened his fucking mouth erupted. My vision went red. My hands clenched into fists so tight my knuckles cracked.
I turned and walked back into the clubhouse.
The music had died the moment she stormed into the main room. Now, as I walked through the doors, every single eye in the room was on me. The silence was deafening, no laughter, no conversation. Just the heavy, suffocating quiet of a room full of people who had just witnessed everything fall apart.
They’d all heard Kat’s voice as she ran from me. They’d all seen her grab Frankie and run. They’d watched me chase after her, pleading, desperate.
Like my entire fucking world hadn’t just walked out the door.
I scanned the room until I found him.
Zero.
Standing near the bar, talking to Ace like he hadn’t just blown up my life.
He looked up and saw me coming.
And he smiled.
I didn’t think. Didn’t hesitate.
I crossed the room and slammed my fist into his face.
The impact sent him stumbling backward into the bar. Bottles crashed. Glass shattered. Someone screamed.
I grabbed him by the front of his shirt and slammed my forehead into his nose. Cartilage crunched. Blood sprayed across my face, hot and metallic.
“You fucking piece of shit!” I roared.
Zero swung at me, his fist connecting with my jaw. Pain exploded through my face, but I barely felt it. The rage was too strong.
I threw him across the room. He crashed into a table, sending chairs flying. Wood splintered.
Zero rolled to his feet, blood pouring from his nose. “Come on, you psycho fuck! Show everyone what you really are!”
I lunged. My fist connected with his ribs... once, twice, three times. Something cracked. He grunted but swung back, catching me in the side of the head.
Stars burst across my vision, but I didn’t stop.
I grabbed him by the throat and slammed him against the wall so hard the drywall cracked. His hands clawed at my wrist, but I squeezed harder.
“You had no right,” I snarled. “No fucking right to tell her.”
“She... deserved... to know,” Zero choked out.
I pulled him forward and slammed him into the wall again. And again.
“Derek!” someone shouted.
But I didn’t hear them. All I could see was Zero’s smug face. All I could hear was Kat’s voice asking if it was true. All I could feel was the moment she looked at me as if I were a monster.
Zero’s knee slammed into my stomach. The air rushed out of my lungs. He swung at me, hitting my cheekbone, my ribs, my jaw.
Blood filled my mouth and I roared, charging toward him, tackling him to the ground. We crashed into another table. I straddled him and started swinging.
Left. Right. Left. Right.
Blood splattered across the floor. Across my hands. Across everything.
“Derek, stop!” Jack’s voice cut through the haze.
Zero bucked beneath me, throwing me off balance. He rolled, pinning me, and got in two solid punches before I threw him off.
We scrambled to our feet, circling each other.
“You’re a fucking coward,” Zero spat, blood dripping from his mouth. “Hiding what you did. She deserved to know the truth.”
“Shut your fucking mouth!”
I lunged again.
Hands grabbed me from behind—strong, unyielding. Gunner on one side, Ace on the other. Big Ben wrapped his massive arms around my chest, hauling me backward.
“Let me go!” I roared, thrashing. “Let me fucking go!”
“Derek, stop!” Gunner shouted. “You’re gonna kill him!”
“Good! He fucking deserves it!”
Zero was on the ground, coughing up blood. His face swollen, bruised, and bleeding. But he was still conscious.
Still fucking smiling.
“What the fuck is going on in here?” Cash’s voice boomed.
The VP pushed through the crowd, his face dark with fury. He looked at Zero, then at me being restrained by three men, then at the destruction. The broken tables, shattered glass, blood everywhere.
“He started it,” Zero wheezed. “Came at me out of nowhere.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Cash snapped. Then he turned to me. “What the fuck, Derek?”
“He had no right,” I growled. “He told Kat about Sam. About what I did.”
Cash’s jaw tightened. “That true?”
Zero shrugged, wincing. “She asked. I answered.”
“You piece of shit,” I snarled, lunging forward.
Gunner, Ace, and Big Ben tightened their grips.
“Enough!” Cash roared. “I don’t give a fuck what he said. You don’t come after a patched brother. Take him to the basement. Lock him in the cell until he cools the fuck down.”
“What?” Jack’s voice rose. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’m dead serious,” Cash said. “He’s out of control.”
“This is bullshit,” Jack said. “Zero crossed a line—”
“Zero will be dealt with,” Cash said. “But right now, Derek goes to the basement. That’s final.”
I stopped fighting.
What was the point?
Kat was gone. Frankie was gone. Everything I’d been working toward, it was all gone.
“Fine,” I said quietly.
Gunner, Ace, and Big Ben released me.
I walked toward the basement door, my hands covered in blood, Zero’s and mine. My face throbbed, my ribs ached.
Jack followed. “Derek, this is bullshit. I’ll talk to Cash—”
“Don’t,” I said. “Just leave it.”
“But—”
“I said fucking leave it, Jack.”
He stopped at the top of the stairs, watching as I descended into the darkness.
The cell was small. Concrete walls. Metal bars. A single cot in the corner.
I walked inside. The door slammed shut. The lock clicked.
And then I was alone.
I stood in the center of the cell, staring at my hands. Covered in blood. My knuckles split open, raw and bleeding. My ribs screamed with every breath.
But none of it hurt as much as the look on Kat’s face when she asked if it was true.
The devastation. The fear. The betrayal.
I sank down onto the cot, my head in my hands.
She was gone.
And she wasn’t coming back.
I’d lost her. Lost Frankie. Lost everything.
Because I was exactly what I’d always known I was.
The darkness pressed in around me, suffocating and absolute. My ragged breathing sounded harsh in the silence.
And for the first time in years, I felt the tears come.
I didn’t try to stop them.
What was the point?
I’d already lost everything that mattered.
Hours passed. Maybe more. I’d lost track of time in the darkness.
The tears had dried on my face, leaving salt tracks through the blood. My hands had stopped shaking. The rage had burned itself out, leaving nothing but emptiness behind.
I heard footsteps on the stairs.
Slow. Measured. Deliberate.
I didn’t look up when the door opened.
“Derek.”
Haizley’s voice was soft, professional. The same tone she used in our sessions when she was trying to get me to open up about something I didn’t want to talk about.
I didn’t respond.
She unlocked the door and stepped into the cell, and I heard the door close behind her.
“Derek, look at me.”
I kept my eyes on the floor. On the dried blood on my knuckles. On the concrete beneath my boots.
“I’m not here as your therapist right now,” she said quietly. “I’m here as someone who cares about you. Someone who’s watched you work harder than anyone I’ve ever known to change, to be better.”
I laughed. It was a bitter, hollow sound that echoed off the concrete walls.
“Change,” I repeated, my voice rough and broken. “Yeah. Look how fucking well that worked out.”
“What happened tonight—”
“What happened tonight is exactly what I knew would happen,” I cut her off, finally looking up at her. “You saw it. Everyone saw it. I beat the shit out of Zero because he told the truth. Because he exposed what I really am. My fucking father.”
Haizley’s expression didn’t change. She stood there, calm and composed, her hands clasped in front of her. “You beat Zero because you were in pain. Because you felt exposed and vulnerable and—”
“I beat Zero because I’m a violent piece of shit who can’t control his rage,” I said flatly. “Stop trying to make it something it’s not.”
“Derek—”
“No.” I stood up, my body screaming in protest. “No more fucking therapy. No more processing. No more pretending that I can be fixed.”
She took a step closer. “You’re not broken.”
“Yes, I am.” My voice was low, dangerous. “I’ve always been broken. You know what I did to Richard. You know what I just did to Zero. What I’ve done to hundreds of others over the years. And you know what? I’d do it all again. Every single fucking time.”
“Because you were protecting—”
“Because I’m a fucking monster!” I roared, and she flinched. “That’s what I am, Haizley. That’s what I’ve always been. And tonight, Kat finally saw it. She saw exactly what I’m capable of. She saw the truth.”
Haizley’s jaw tightened. “The truth is that you saved a fourteen-year-old girl from being raped. The truth is that you protected someone who couldn’t protect herself.”
“The truth is that I nearly killed a man with my bare hands and felt nothing,” I said coldly.
“The truth is that I enjoyed it. The truth is that when I was beating Zero tonight, all I could think about was how good it felt to hurt him. To make him bleed. To make him pay for taking her away from me.”
“Derek—”
“She’s gone.” My voice cracked. “Kat’s gone. Frankie’s gone. And they’re never coming back. Because they saw what I really am. What I’ve been trying to hide from them this whole fucking time.”
Haizley shook her head. “You haven’t been hiding. You’ve been healing. You’ve been working through your trauma, learning to regulate your emotions—”
“Regulate my emotions?” I laughed again, gesturing to my bloodied face, my split knuckles. “Does this look regulated to you?”
“You’re human, Derek. You’re allowed to have setbacks. You’re allowed to—”
“I’m done.”
The words hung in the air between us.
Haizley went very still. “What?”
“I’m. Done,” I repeated, my voice flat and emotionless. “I’m done pretending I can be something I’m not. I’m done trying to fix what can’t be fixed. I’m done lying to myself that I could ever be good enough for them.”
“Derek, you can’t give up now. Not after everything you’ve—”
“Everything I’ve what?” I demanded. “Everything I’ve worked for?
Everything I’ve accomplished? It was all bullshit, Haizley.
All of it. Because the second I got angry, the second I felt threatened, I reverted right back to what I’ve always been.
A violent, uncontrollable animal who beats the fuck out of people when he’s pissed off. ”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is.” I stepped closer to her, and I saw the flicker of uncertainty in her eyes. The tiny moment of fear. “You’re afraid of me right now. I can see it.”
“I’m not—”
“Don’t lie to me.” My voice was quiet now, deadly calm. “You’re afraid. Just like Kat was afraid. Just like everyone should be afraid. Because I’m fucking dangerous. I’m unpredictable. And I can’t be fucking trusted.”
Haizley held my gaze. “I’m not afraid of you, Derek. I’m afraid for you. There’s a difference.”
“There shouldn’t be.”
She took a deep breath. “What you did to Richard was justified. What you did to Zero was a reaction to pain and betrayal. But what you’re doing right now, giving up on yourself, accepting this narrative that you’re irredeemable... that’s the real tragedy.”
“It’s not a narrative,” I said quietly. “It’s the truth. And the sooner I accept it, the sooner I can stop pretending.”
“Pretending what?”
“That I deserve them.” My voice broke again. “That I deserve Kat. That I deserve to be Frankie’s father. That I deserve anything other than this cell and the darkness and the knowledge that I’m exactly what my father was.”
“You are nothing like your father.”
“I’m exactly like him.” I turned away from her, staring at the concrete wall.
“He was violent. I’m violent. He couldn’t control his rage.
I can’t control mine. He hurt the people he was supposed to love and protect.
And I...” My voice caught. “I terrified the woman I love. I showed her what I really am.”
Haizley was quiet for a long moment.
Then she said softly, “I can’t help you if you won’t let me.”
“I don’t want your help.”
“Derek—”
“I want you to leave.” I didn’t turn around. “I want you to go back upstairs and tell Jack that I’m done. Tell Cash I’ll stay in this cell as long as he wants. Tell him I don’t give a fuck anymore.”
“I’m not going to do that.”
“Then just leave.” My voice was hollow. “Please. Just leave me the fuck alone.”
I heard her take a step toward the door. Then she stopped.
“You’re not a monster, Derek,” she said quietly. “But if you keep telling yourself you are, eventually you’ll believe it. And that’s when you’ll actually become one.”
I didn’t respond.
After a moment, I heard the door open. Her footsteps retreated. The door closed.
And then I was alone again.
I sank back down onto the cot, my head in my hands.
She was wrong.
I didn’t need to become a monster.
I already was one.
And maybe it was time I stopped fighting it.