Chapter Twenty-Six
Frankie
When we got home from the clubhouse, I went straight to my room. I told Mom I was going to bed, but that was a lie. I just needed to get away from whatever was happening. From the look on her face. From the way her hands were shaking.
I sat on my bed in the dark, clutching Bunny to my chest. None of it made sense. One minute, Cami and I were laughing about something Nox said, and the next, Mom was pulling me out of my seat and dragging me to the car.
The car ride home was the worst part. Mom’s hands were shaking on the steering wheel. Her knuckles were all white, and her jaw was clenched so tight I thought her teeth might break. She wouldn’t talk to me, just stared straight ahead like I wasn’t even there.
I’d never seen her like that before. Not even when we left Richard.
Everything was so quiet I could hear the sound of her footsteps. Then the water turned on in the kitchen.
I waited.
Listened.
The water kept running. And running. And running.
Then I heard the sound that made my chest feel like it was caving in.
Mom, crying.
Mom never cried. Not once. Not even when Richard hurt her. Not even when Clay wouldn’t let us leave. Not even when Slyce rescued us and told us the trailer we lived in was about to be blown up.
My mom was the strong one. The one who held everything together. The one who protected me.
But she sounded broken.
And I didn’t know what to do.
I got out of bed, my heart pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears. I walked to my doorway and stood there for a second, scared to leave my room. Scared of what I’d find.
But I couldn’t just stay in my room. Not when she sounded like that.
I walked down the hall, my feet quiet on the floor. When I got to the kitchen doorway, I stopped.
Mom was standing at the sink with her back to me. The water had turned off, her hands gripping the edge of the sink as tight as she’d held the steering wheel, and she stared out the window.
She looked so small. So broken.
I’d never seen my mom look like that before.
My stomach dropped when she told me what happened. But then I remembered what Derek had already told me that day on the porch. He admitted he’d done something bad. He was in therapy trying to fix it. He’d been honest about it.
“He told me,” I said quietly.
Mom just stared at me as if I’d said something in another language. Then she pulled me into a hug and whispered that she was sorry. That she wouldn’t let him get close enough to hurt us.
I knew Derek wouldn’t hurt us. I knew it the same way I knew my own name. But Mom didn’t believe me. And I didn’t know how to make her see.
A knock on the door interrupted us. Mom told me to go to my room. I did, but I left the door cracked open, listening to the muffled sounds of voices. Then the front door closed.
A few minutes later, there was a soft knock on my door.
“Frankie?” Cami whispered from the hallway. “Can I come in?”
“Yeah,” I said, and she slipped inside, closing the door quietly behind her.
She sat down on the bed next to me, her face worried.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
I shook my head. I wasn’t okay. Nothing made sense.
“What happened?” Cami asked.
“I don’t know. Mom just grabbed me and we left. She wouldn’t talk to me the whole way home.”
Cami reached over to hold my hand, and I squeezed it tight. Everything felt confusing and scary, and wrong.
Then there was another knock on the door, and Rhoda appeared. “Frankie, pack some things for a few days; you guys are coming to stay at the Orchard.”
Cami smiled at me, excited. I wanted to be excited, too. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Derek looked at us when we left the clubhouse.
Like he’d lost us.
We’d been here three days now.
Three days of me checking the driveway every morning. Three days of listening for the sound of Derek’s truck. Three days of hoping he would come looking for us.
But he hadn’t.
Every car sound made me look up, hoping it would be his truck. But it never was. Three days and nothing. No calls. No texts. No showing up at the door. Nothing.
It was like he just... didn’t care that we left. Like we didn’t matter.
Like I didn’t matter.
And that hurt worse than anything Mom told me about what he’d done to Sam.
The orchard was quiet except for the wind moving through the apple trees. I sat on the ground with my back against a trunk, my stuffed bunny in my lap. Cami sat next to me, and Nox was climbing one of the lower branches even though Maggie had told him not to, like, a hundred times.
“Are you okay?” Cami asked.
I shrugged. I didn’t really know if I was okay or not. Everything felt different.
I picked at the bunny’s ear. It was worn and soft from years of me carrying it around. One of the button eyes was loose.
“Mom said Derek hurt someone,” I said quietly. “A long time ago. Someone he was married to.”
Cami’s eyes got really big. “He was married?”
“Yeah. To Sam. Jack’s wife.”
“Wait, what?” Nox dropped down from the branch and landed next to us. “Jack’s wife used to be married to Derek?”
“I guess so.” I didn’t really understand that part either. How did you end up married to your brother’s ex-wife? That seemed super weird.
“What did he do to her?” Cami asked.
I swallowed hard. “Mom said he beat her. Like, really bad. She ended up in the hospital.”
Cami gasped. Nox just stared at me.
“But he told me about it,” I said quickly. “I didn’t know it was Sam. But he told me he’d hurt someone. That he did something bad. That’s why he goes to therapy.”
Cami was quiet for a minute. Then she said, “Do you think he’d hurt you? Or your mom?”
“No.” The word came out fast and sure. I didn’t even have to think about it.
Because Derek wouldn’t hurt us. I knew that the same way I knew the sky was blue and grass was green. It was just a fact.
“How do you know?” Nox asked, dropping down from the branch.
I looked down at the bunny in my lap. “Because he’s my dad.”
“What?”
I looked up at my best friend. “When I was little. Like, really little. Two, I think.” I ran my fingers over the bunny’s soft fur. “There was a man with dark hair and tattoos. He was big, but he wasn’t scary to me. He gave me this bunny.”
My throat felt tight. I’d never told anyone this before. Not even Mom.
“I didn’t know who he was for the longest time. I just had this memory of him. And then when I met Derek, it was like... I don’t know. Like I recognized him.”
Cami reached over and squeezed my hand.
“He’s my dad,” I whispered. “My real dad.”
Nox’s mouth fell open. “Does your mom know?”
“No.” I wiped at my eyes with the back of my hand. “But I know it’s true. I can feel it.”
We sat there for a while without saying anything. The wind rustled the branches above us. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear Maggie and Mom talking on the porch.
And that was when it hit me.
If I were gone, Mom and Derek would have to work together to find me.
They’d have to talk. Really talk. Not just avoid each other or whatever they’d been doing.
“I have an idea,” I said slowly.
Cami looked at me. “What kind of idea?”
“I could run away. Like, go somewhere they can’t find me for a little while.”
“What?” Cami’s voice went up really high. “Frankie, that’s crazy.”
“No, listen.” I turned to face her. “If I’m missing, Mom will freak out. She’ll need help finding me. And Derek, he’ll help. I know he will.”
“So they’ll have to work together,” Nox said.
“Exactly.” I was excited now. This could actually work. “And while they’re looking for me, they’ll have to talk. They’ll have to figure out whatever’s going on between them.”
“Or they’ll just call the cops, and you’ll get in huge trouble,” Cami said.
“Not if I come back before it gets that far.”
Cami shook her head. “This is a terrible idea. What if something happens to you? What if you get hurt or lost or—”
“I won’t. Nox knows all the good hiding spots, right?”
Nox nodded. “I know just the place.”
“Where?” Cami asked.
Nox shook his head. “Can’t tell you, you’ll crack.”
“What do you mean, I’ll crack?” I smiled at how offended Cami sounded.
“Maggie will ask you where she is, demand you tell her, and you’ll crack like a nut,” Nox insisted. “If you don’t know, you can’t tell them.”
Cami narrowed her eyes at her brother, then turned to me. “Your mom is going to kill you.”
I hugged the bunny tighter. “It’ll be worth it. Because she’ll have Derek. And he’ll have her. And maybe they’ll finally figure out that they’re supposed to be together. That we’re supposed to be a family.”
“We already tried this once,” Cami pointed out, “and Derek stormed out of the diner pissed off.”
“Mom told him what Richard did to me,” I said quietly. “He beat Richard up.”
I closed my eyes, not wanting to think about what Mom said. About Derek hurting Sam. I knew what he did to Richard, and I couldn’t believe he would hurt Sam like that. There had to be an explanation.
Cami bit her lip. She looked as if she wanted to argue more but didn’t know what to say.
“You really think this will work?” she asked quietly.
“I have to try.” My voice cracked a little. “Mom’s been so sad for so long. And Derek, he looks at her like she’s the only person in the world. Like he’d do anything for her.”
They loved each other. I knew they did.
They just needed help seeing it.
“When are you going to do it?” Nox asked.
“Tonight. After everyone goes to bed.”
Cami grabbed my arm. “Frankie, please don’t do this. It’s dangerous and stupid and—”
“I have to.” I pulled away from her. “You don’t understand. Mom gave up everything for me. She left Richard even though she was scared. She’s always protecting me and taking care of me and making sure I’m okay.”
My voice was shaking now but I kept going.
“But who takes care of her? Who makes sure she’s okay? She won’t let anyone get close anymore. She won’t let herself be happy. And I know it’s because she’s scared. Because of Richard and Clay. She thinks she has to be alone to keep me safe.”
I wiped at my eyes again. “But Derek’s different. I know he is. And if I can just get them in the same room, if I can just make them talk to each other, maybe she’ll see that too.”
Cami was crying now. “What if it doesn’t work?”
“Then at least I tried.”
She hugged me tight. “You’re crazy.”
“I know.”
Nox stood up and brushed the dirt off his jeans. “I’m coming with you.”
“What?” I looked up at him. “Nox, you don’t have to—”
“I want to.” He crossed his arms. “Besides, you don’t have any idea where you’re going.”
I smiled at him. “Okay. Thanks.”
Cami sniffled. “I still think this is a terrible idea.”
“Noted.”
We sat there until the sun started going down. Maggie called us in for dinner, and we went inside and ate like everything was normal. Mom barely touched her food. She just pushed it around on her plate and stared at nothing.
It made my chest hurt to see her like that.
After dinner, Cami, Nox, and I went upstairs to go to bed. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the plan.
“Are you sure about this?” Cami whispered after we turned off the lights.
“Yeah.”
“What if your mom never forgives you?”
I thought about that. About how mad Mom would be when she found out. About how scared she’d be when she realized I was gone. But then I thought about Derek. About the bunny he’d given me when I was two. About the way Mom looked at him when she thought I couldn’t see her.
“She will,” I said. “Eventually.”
I waited until Cami’s breathing got slow and even. Then I waited a little longer to make sure she was really asleep.
The bedroom door opened slowly. “Ready?” Nox whispered.
I scribbled out a note for Cami and then kissed Bunny goodbye. I hadn’t told Cami that part. “Yeah.”
We crept out of the room as quietly as we could.
The house was dark and silent. I grabbed my jacket from the hook by the door and pulled on my boots.
Nox led the way across the yard and into the trees.
The moon was bright enough that we could see where we were going.
My heart was pounding so hard I thought everyone in the house could probably hear it.
“This way,” Nox whispered.
We walked for what felt like forever. The woods got thicker and darker. I started to get scared, but I didn’t say anything. I just followed Nox and tried not to think about what Mom would say when she woke up and found me gone.
Finally, as the sun started to come up, Nox stopped. “There.”
I looked up and saw a shed. It was small and old and kind of falling apart, but it had walls and a roof and a door that closed.
“This is perfect,” I said.
We went inside. It smelled like dirt and old wood. There were some empty crates in the corner and a tarp folded up against the wall.
Nox spread out the tarp, and we sat down on it.
“Now what?” he asked.
“Now we wait.”
This was really happening. I was really doing this.
And when Mom woke up and realized I was gone, everything would change.
I just hoped I was right about Derek.
I hoped he’d come looking for me.
I hoped he’d help Mom find me.
And I hoped that somewhere in all of that, they’d find each other too.
“Frankie?” Nox said quietly.
“Yeah?”
“What if this doesn’t work?”
I closed my eyes and hugged my knees to my chest.
“It has to.”
Because I didn’t know what I’d do if it didn’t.