Chapter 1
Adriana
A Cesspool.
The words keep looping in my head, an endless echo of betrayal.
My eyes drift to where he stands, phone in hand, pretending to care about my feelings.
When did he change so much? Or maybe it was me who was so blind—refusing to see Lenny for what he really is.
I take him in, the crisp white button-down shirt, the light blue tie hanging loose around his neck, and tailored grey slacks. Everything is so wrong…
Who is he?
Lenny never dressed so polished. He used to love graphic shirts and jeans that smelled like fried food and his favorite cologne. I used to think this new style was part of us growing up. Becoming an adult and all that? Only to realize—he’s changed. Or maybe I opened my eyes too late.
Frustration burns hotter than grief. My gut clenches, as unease ripples through me.
I believed in his dream. I clinged to him, for salvation while grieving.
Unknowingly stepping into my own destruction.
After what happened to Neno, Lenny felt like the safer choice.
The better one. We would sit for hours talking about gang violence.
Poverty. Things we had no real understanding of.
And now look at the hot pile of shit I’ve stepped in.
I followed him here, leaving everything that I love behind. Y todo para que? *
For years, I played the part of the trophy girlfriend.
Good enough to fuck, but never enough for a ring.
Not that it mattered. Deep inside, I knew that I was just a placeholder.
My vision blurs. For years… I changed everything about myself, only to come out shorthanded.
Now all that’s left inside is resentment and frustration. Y todo es mi culpa. *
“Urgh.” The sound escapes from deep in my chest, feeling my skin crawl and I scratch at it.
Everything feels so hollow inside me now.
And I feel that weight anchoring me. Reminding me why I stay.
My gaze roams over the living room before settling on the flyers scattered around us.
White paper with tall buildings sitting in the very corner where our families' bodegas are.
At the very corner where we shared our first kiss.
The very corner where he asked me to be his. The very place… I broke his heart.
Yael.
I swallow the urge to cry. It won’t fix anything.
Won’t turn back time. It will only show Lenny how much he’s beaten me down.
Show him that I’m still that weak girl he molded.
So I do the only thing I can. I let the anger simmer inside me and swallow it down until it burns.
I’m bitter and resentful. His dream was never to make the barrio better, it was to make it profitable for the corporation that put money in his pocket.
Pressure builds behind my eyes, a headache forming at my temples.
The dull ache makes everything sound louder—the smells sharper.
I drop my gaze, unable to stand the sight of it.
I can’t even look at him without feeling disgusted.
Lenny still plans to move forward with his vision.
Calling it progress instead of calling it what it actually is—gentrification of the place I call home.
The city lights flicker against the glass, painting our apartment in gold and murky shadows.
Crumbled flyers litter the floor from earlier.
Nothing like waking up to the cruel reality.
Who would have thought that it would be his greed that would put the final nail in the coffin. I should clean them up but I don’t.
This is no longer my home. Lenny's voice cuts through the hum of the traffic.
“C’mon Adri, you can’t be mad about growth.
” My eyes narrow into thin slits, my lips pressing firmly into a thin line, watching as he inches forward, letting out a long sigh.
“It will be good for them. They will all get compensated and be able to find a new home,” he adds, his tone laced in that artificial sweetness that would usually make me reconsider. Pero no hoy*.
“A new home, Lenny?” I smack him on the side of the head, hoping it’s hard enough to knock some sense into him. “Altura is their home. Our home.”
He shakes his head, exhaling sharply while he further loosens his tie.
His face is riddled with frustration. Brown waves tousled and out of place for a man like him.
Moments like this are when I can see the resemblance between the two.
That’s when the shame burns and the guilt tears through me.
Knowing I’ve been playing house with the cousin of the man I claim to love.
Sometimes I think that’s the reason why I stayed for so long.
It wasn’t love. It couldn’t be… not when my heart belonged to someone else.
The ghost that’s haunted this relationship since the day it left Altura.
“You’re being dramatic. This is our home. Those bodegas are falling apart, the mayor is right—they should’ve been condemned years ago.”
My eyes bulge, and blood rushes through my ears. Indignation slamming into me.
“Condemned?” I laugh, but it comes out broken. “You mean erased. You’re turning Altura into a playground for people who never had to fight for it. Lenny, por dios*, your family—”
My words are cut short with a shake of his head as he steps closer, dark eyes cold and uncaring.
“You think staying stuck in that block makes you noble? I’m trying to build something better.”
“Better?” My voice rises, fracturing at the edges. “You cheat on me, lie to me, and now you want to bulldoze our home. You don’t build, Lenny, you fucking destroy. Look at me.”
His jaw flexes, and large hands move to cup each side of my face.
“Mi reina*,” Lenny murmurs before placing a soft kiss on my cheek.
The spice in his cologne invades my lungs, nausea coils in my stomach.
I go rigid in his grasp, feeling that familiar sensation slithering up my spine.
Everything inside me wants to give in, because it’s easier to surrender than to fight—but I can’t.
Not this time. Not after I packed my bags. Not this summer…
His thumb strokes my cheeks like he owns me, and pressure continues to build behind my eyes as he tries to soothe away the truth he doesn’t want to face. The very one I tried to ignore. The tears blur away his face.
“Mi reina,” he murmurs again, softer this time—in that same manipulative and practical way that always makes me break. “You’re upset. You’re not thinking straight.”
I blink away the tears, shoving his hands off me. “No, Lenny. For the first time in years, I actually am.”
Lenny’s expression shifts, the charm drops, and the mask cracks, letting the real him step forward. The one who only loves me when I’m quiet. When I’m small. I almost flinch, but I hold my ground, biting down on my lip with a lift of my chin.
“Mi vida*, it’s a new home,” he snaps in a demeanor so calm that it’s insulting. “A better one. It’s a great thing. If anything, Adriana, you should be thanking me.”
“Thanking you?” I choke out. “For what?”
He laughs, the sound cold and humorless.
“For everything that you are. Without me, you would still be clinging to a block that did nothing but chew you up. Stuck in a bodega with no ambition. No real fulfillment. Maybe pregnant with some thug’s baby.
” His voice rises, jealousy flashing across his features and I know exactly which street thug he refers to.
“Now look at you, a respectable woman, mi mujer*. You had no direction and I showed you the way.”
My breath stutters, vision clouding with tears. “Don’t go there.”
But he does. He always does.
“Where would you even go, huh? Back to the hood that killed your brother? The same streets that put drugs in your mother’s veins? That place ruined your whole damn family, Adri.”
My heart drops—a freefall straight into the pit he’s been digging under me for years. He’s right and he knows it. Worst of all… I know it. Still, I hold my ground, not letting him control me. Not anymore.
“And for what?” he continues, stepping closer, eyes narrowing.
“So you can run back to the same people who never left? The same one stuck there? The same one who—” Lenny stops, not stomaching to say what comes next, but the damage is already done.
Because I know exactly who he means. Su primo, Yael. *
The name hangs in the air even though he doesn't say it. The ghost that haunts us, a wound he knows he can press when he wants to make me bleed without lifting a hand. My voice comes out lower and steadier than I expect when I finally speak.
“Altura didn’t ruin me.” I drag in a breath, finally feeling that last tether inside me snap, clean and irreversible. I grab my suitcase, my grip firm before turning my back on him. But not before saying, “You did.”
His answer is a bitter laugh, followed by another painful jab.
“Where would you go? There’s nothing there for you, Adri, this is your home. Your place is here with me. Where are you going, back to the hood?”
* Y Todo Para Que? - And everything for what?
* Y todo es mi culpa - And everything is my fault.
* Pero no hoy - But not today.
* Por Dios - For God.
* Mi Reina - My queen.
* Mi vida - My life
* Mi mujer - My wife.
* Su primo, Yael - His cousin, Yael.