Chapter 2 #3
Warmth settles on my cheeks. I look away, trying to hide how uncomfortable I feel.
I know that I’m thinner, that’s what depression has done to me.
It has taken the light and my curves, but in my family things like depression don't exist. I just need to eat more.
Fuck more. And complain less. Anything but deal with the real issue at hand.
“But it’s okay, you’ll get back those curves again,” she adds, pinching my cheek.
I smile awkwardly, because what else could I say? Thankfully, Ruben saves me from any more scrutiny, cutting in like a broken record.
“Yo, cuzzo, you came back at the perfect time,” he says with a grin as he leans onto the counter.
My eyes land on the flyer that hangs proudly on the front door, the one announcing the beginning of summer and the annual tournament, while hiding the not so pleasant one that paints a grim future to those who live in Altura.
I push past my thoughts, focusing on making this the best summer.
I only have ninety days to fall in love… only this time, it’s with myself. My brow arches. “The tournament?”
Ruben dips his chin, and his mother chimes in. “Oh yeah, this year we’re leaving the planning to all the youngins.”
I give them a puzzling look. Shocked at the revelation, honestly.
Planning and preparation had always fallen to the older generations when we would ask.
We would always get the same generic response.
That we weren’t responsible and everything else between those lines.
Even though it was a lie, we could have.
So what changed? I don’t ask that, instead I focus on the small thought that lingers in the back of mind.
Who is stepping in for the Cruz family? I clear my throat and say, “And let me guess, Ruben and…”
My eyes trail to the window, landing across the street. The butterflies come to life with just the thought, before timidly asking, “Who else?”
My aunt playfully smacks her son on his shoulder while loudly and proudly saying, “Asi mismo, tu primo* gonna represent his family.” There’s a pause. Miriam quickly glances over her shoulder, meeting where my gaze lands. The men across the street continue to play and shout, unaware of our stare.
The muscles in my body go taut, swallowing the lump in my throat. I wait for the next name. I know it isn’t Lenny, he wouldn’t come back here. Never cared when we were together. Highly doubt he would now.
It couldn’t be his father, not after he stole from Dona Germina. Even Lenny was all up in arms after discovering that his own father was stealing from his mother. And Yael… well, he didn’t care about the barrio. Or dominoes. Or the block parties.
Still, curiosity had me by the throat. Is he setting it up? Or did he turn his back on the bodega like he did my brother? The thought alone makes my blood run hot and my teeth gnash together. After I left, I tried my best to never ask or even think about Yael.
Not until the urge one day became impossible, and I found myself sneaking around and eavesdropping when Lenny would call his grandma.
It feels like I’m waiting forever for them to spill the beans when finally, they do.
Delivering his name like a blow that leaves me winded and with the room spinning.
“It’s Yael, and now that you’re here, cuz, I would love it if you could help. With the store and Abuelo.” Ruben lets out a long sigh, dragging his large hand down his face. “It’s a lot on me.”
My aunt flinches at his words. “Pero tú eres un hombre, oye, eso. Dique* too much.” Her words come out playfully, though her message is loud and clear. Her disapproval is evident. Ruben breathes in through his nose, causing his nostrils to flare.
“Ma, no venga con esa vaina.*”
She continues to silence her son with a disapproving wave of her hand. “No, tú no comienzes.* You're the man in the family, act like one. Look at Yael, even him. He’s taken care of everything, all while Lenny…”
The room falls silent then, my cousin drops his gaze at the mention of his name, and my aunt finally backs down, but not before finishing her train of words.
“Don’t make us look bad.” This time she addresses both of us with a stern finger, scolding us as if we were still children. “We can’t let them beat us… not again.”
With that, she leaves, and the air feels lighter the moment she disappears behind the door that leads to the main house.
“You guys been losing?” I ask out of curiosity, my gaze once again falling on the large window that gives me a direct view of Cruz Market.
“For the last couple of years— since Yael took over. We've been getting our ass handed.”
I scan the streets for Yael. Why? Who knows. What I do know is that I burnt that bridge so long ago, so why do I still want to walk across it?
* Presidente, vestida de novia - Presidente is type of beer. Vestida de novia, is dressed in white. Which means the beer is so cold, it's frosty and white.
* Mira quién está aquí… mi nina… - Look who’s here… my girl…
* Tás muy flaca - You’re too thin.
* Asi mismo, tu primo - Sure thing, your cousin
* Pero tú eres un hombre, oye, eso. Dique too much. - But you’re a man. Hear that, too much.
* Ma, no venga con esa vaina. - Ma, don’t come with your crap.
* No, tú no comienzes. - No, you don’t start.