17. Capri
17
CAPRI
One month later
“That’s not what I envisioned it looking like,” I mumble, scoping out the canvas in front of me.
Collie turns her head, eyeing my work of failure. “Not great, Picasso. Not great.”
I flick my paintbrush at her, signaling for her to shut it.
“I’m terrible at this,” I huff. “Why did I think this was a good idea?”
Capri stands beside me and turns the horribly painted canvas around—out of sight. “You’re not…terrible. Painting just might not be the best hobby for you. You’ll find it.”
Right.
Since getting back from Italy, I made a promise to myself that I’d try new things. Today, I attempted painting. It looks like I do not have a future painting the next Mona Lisa or being featured in art exhibits.
“Why don’t you come try one of my classes?” Collie asks.
“Do I look like someone who does CrossFit, Collie?” I flex my lack of muscle.
She laughs. “Don’t be like that. You can always do hip-hop fitness. Everyone loves that class.”
“Yeah, everyone with rhythm,” I joke.
The rhythmic gene stuck with Collie and skipped me. I have two left feet and sprinkler moves you wouldn’t believe.
Need someone to demonstrate the worm? I’m your girl.
“Well, the offer is there,” she reassures me before changing the subject. “Did you get Mariah’s invitation in the mail?”
My smile is wide. “I did. God, she’s going to be the most stunning bride. The venue they chose is gorgeous.”
“It’s crazy how life comes full circle. One day, the three of us are growing up together, sneaking out of the house with boys during the holidays, and the next, she’s getting married,” Collie replies, her voice reflecting much simpler times.
Mariah gets married, I get divorced. Exciting year.
“Crazy,” I say. “I’m happy for her.”
Mariah is our cousin on Dad’s side of the family. She grew up a couple streets down from us in Timber Heights and moved away for college nearly eight years ago. We’ve seen each other off and on at family events but I have yet to meet her fiancé.
“You gonna go?” Collie asks.
“Doubt it. I’ll be drowning in new school year chaos.”
She nudges my side. “Oh, come on. Where’s my sister who said yes to everything and lived life in the moment?”
I left her in Capri. That’s where.
She knows that’s a touchy subject. More touchy than I’m proud of. “Cols, don’t. Please.”
She walks to the pantry and grabs herself a snack. My eyes gravitate toward the still-full bag of mini jawbreakers tucked in the corner of the cabinet.
Nothing about them sounds appetizing. They’ll be sitting there indefinitely at this point. Rotting and left uneaten.
“You’re right. I’m sorry,” she breathes out, offering me a kettle chip.
“I’m good,” I murmur, attempting to laugh it off.
“Will you at least think about it? For me?”
“Okay, I’ll think about it.” I smile and that seems to satisfy her. At least that gives me some time to decide. “Are you bringing a date?”
“Yep. Already asked Mikey.”
I shake my head. “Wild life you live, Collie Meadows.”
I can’t keep track of her men, and I don’t think she can either.
“Eh.” She waves me off. “It gets old after a while.”
I cock my head. “But is it better than being divorced at twenty-six?” I ask, teasing her.
“Yeah, good point. I’d rather fuck every man in this town than that. Sorry, not sorry.”
I smile to myself, knowing she’s right and I’d probably pick the same if the roles were reversed. “Go fuck ’em all Cols. Take care of your kitty.”
She barks out a laugh and heads to the door. “You’ve been hanging around me too much, babe!”
Yeah. Maybe I have…
* * *
“Capri, honey, I really think you should start putting yourself out there more. Go on a date or something.”
What is up with everyone lately? Insisting I date and experiment.
“Mom. Please, don’t.”
“I’m just saying. You’re only getting older. I figured after everything that happened with Drew, you would want to at least try.”
Go ahead, dig the knife deeper, mother.
She has no idea how much I did try. I know she wants the best for me, but that’s not a decision for her to make. There are things I will never tell her, and it’s for good reason.
I finally feel in control of my life. Like I can do what I want without needing acceptance from anyone in the meantime.
I’m enjoying focusing on myself.
Besides, no one is doing it for me right now. Not even the sight of a good-looking man can pique my interest.
“I’m not ready to try, Mom. I’m just trying to stand on my own for a while.”
She runs a hand through her short brown hair. “And I think that’s wonderful. I just want to see you happy, honey. That’s all.”
“Leave her alone, Whit,” Dad tells her, walking into the kitchen and kissing my cheek.
“What?” Mom questions, her defenses rising. “Capri knows I mean well.”
“Capri will date when she’s ready, my love.”
As much as my mom drives me batshit crazy, I know she only wants me to be happy. The fallout after my marriage hurt my family more than I expected.
Although I was the one living in misery, they lost something as well. Something I’m not sure I can give them anytime soon.
Collie and I have been home from Capri for a month now, and life hasn’t stopped since. Given it’s the middle of the summer, I haven’t had to report back to work yet, which has only given me ample time to think about a certain someone on the other side of the world.
I’ve done everything I can to keep myself busy.
A sad attempt at painting.
I started journaling my thoughts at night as well as purging my entire apartment, decluttering the shit I don’t need or anything that reminds me of my old life.
That’s why my parents are here now—to help me bring some sparkle back into my space. Collie and I live in the same apartment complex, just a few doors down from each other, so they’ve been going back and forth between us.
“Have you heard from Drew?” My mom asks me timidly.
“Whit…” Dad warns, but there’s no need. I don’t feel like I could break at the sound of his name. If anything, his name is a reminder of the favor he did me.
“Nope,” I answer. “He can get fucked for all I care.”
“He literally did,” Dad mumbles under his breath at the same time Mom shrieks. “Capri Charlotte Meadows. What happened to your manners?”
Dad chuckles and Mom cuts him a stern look. “Don’t encourage her.”
I smile wickedly. “I left it in Capri, mother.”
Seems I left everything there.
“I see that,” she huffs. “You’re different.”
I feel different. Who knew a week could change you?
I reach for the bell at my neck, which I haven’t let myself take off. It’s the only thing that’s stopped me from falling apart. From breaking and succumbing to sadness.
And longing. So much longing.
Meeting Jones taught me who I am and who I deserve to be…for myself. I intend to prioritize that.
“Your encouragement is too good for me,” I tell my mom sarcastically.
She hugs me. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be a nag. I just want my girls to be happy.”
“Let’s be honest, Mom. You want grandkids,” I say, earning myself a snarl.
Dad gasps and Mom looks shocked.
“It’s okay. I’m not going to shatter, Mom.”
“Oh, honey…I’m sorry.” The sorrow in Mom’s voice can’t be missed. She has nothing to be sorry for. Never.
My heart hurts for her. It sounds peculiar to say, when I should be the one upset, but I know my mom trusted Drew like a son, and I think once the reality set in, she realized a divorced daughter means no grandkids in the near future.
I’m back at the beginning. The very beginning.
But I’m okay with that for now, despite how painful it once was.
“You have no reason to be sorry, Mom. It’s life.” I want her to know I’m sad for her, too. And Dad.
“How about we talk about something happy? Right, ladies?” Dad tries to change the conversation.
I send him an appreciative smile. “Sure.”
“You coming tomorrow night, Cap?” My dad has called me Cap since I was a little girl playing baseball with the boys. I secretly love it, even at twenty-six.
“Wouldn’t miss it. The Dove?” I ask.
He nods and sends me a bright smile. “Yep. Seven o’clock.”
“I’ll be there. Can’t wait to celebrate you, Dad.” I wrap my arms around him, giving him a big hug.
I’m looking forward to changing out of my casual clothes and getting dolled up for a night.
I’m in need of a celebratory night out before going back to work.
Drinks and good food with the people I love the most. What could possibly go wrong?
* * *
“Damn girl. Do you even age?” Noah, the son of my parents’ best friend, asks me, walking into the restaurant.
I chuckle. “Like fine wine, Noah. Like fine wine.”
He whistles, and I have to admit, it’s flattering.
Noah and I have been friends for half our lives. Our parents went to high school together, and after going their separate ways, they were reunited when I was a teenager.
They’ve been inseparable friends since, leading to Noah being the same for Collie and me. More so by default, but he’s cool.
Except, he’s never shied away from his feelings.
Our parents know it, I know it, everyone knows it. Even when I was married.
I don’t see him like that, though. But it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy his attention.
That may make me sound like a terrible person. I’ve never led him on to believe we could ever be something more, but it feels good to be seen.
“I know who I’m sittin’ by tonight,” Noah says, making no apologies for his perusal of me.
I may have gone a little overboard on ‘dolling’ myself up. I wanted to wear something that made me feel good—sexy and confident.
I’d like to think I was successful at that.
“You fiend,” I tell him, slapping him playfully.
I decided on metallic brown, high-waisted cargo pants with a cream corset top and nude, strappy stilettos. My hair is teased, full of volume, and my makeup is fresh and glowy.
I feel modest yet sexy.
“I didn’t know you were coming tonight, Noah,” Collie calls for him across the room. Her smile is wide and contagious.
My sister looks stunning in her long, multicolored maxi dress, her bob straight and silky.
“When have I ever not been at a family event? Let alone Papa Meadow’s retirement party.” Noah says, pulling her in for a hug.
“True.” Collie laughs.
“Ew, don’t call him that,” I giggle, turning my face up at Noah. “Sounds like the name of a bad porno.”
They both laugh, and seeing them so happy makes me feel lighter. Like life is taking a decent turn.
“Children,” Mom calls us over. “Let’s eat.”
“Hardly children, Mom,” I yell out, following Noah and Collie to our reserved table at The Dove.
“If only you knew the dirty things your child has been up to, Mom,” Collie whispers, thankfully loud enough for only Noah and I to hear.
My lips turn up. “Loose lips sink ships, sister.”
“Has Capri Meadows been doing dirty things without me?” Noah asks, leaning into my ear.
My body stills. I don’t know how to respond when he says things like that. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable, by any means. But it does make me cautious. I’d never want to give him the wrong idea.
“Very much so,” I tell him, hoping it relays my message. All I could think was make it known to him you’ve been with other people.
Well, one person, but he doesn’t need to know that.
“That’s a shame,” he tells me, pulling out my chair.
“Thanks,” I whisper at the same time my head lifts, catching a glimpse of something familiar.
It’s gone before I can place it, but a rush comes over me like an unstoppable force. What is this feeling?
I sit back as the waiter serves our champagne, and Collie calls for a toast. “Dad, you’re one of the good ones. After forty years in forensics, you’d think we would be helping you identify bodies by now. Instead, we’re celebrating the incredible man that you are and the hard work you’ve put into your employees over the years. So cheers to you, Papa Meadows.”
She turns to look at Noah and me, sending us a wink. The bitch never misses a beat, and I love her for that.
“Cheers!” the table shouts at the same time my eyes lock on a pair of pine tree greens I’d recognize anywhere from across the room.
Jones. In the fucking flesh.
“Shit.” I don’t realize I say it out loud until the whole table turns in his direction, questioning what has me reacting this way.
He doesn’t move, and I pay them no attention. Not when Jones is less than twenty feet from me, looking more striking than ever.
What is he doing here? In Timber Heights. Surely the world isn’t that small.
That doesn’t stop me from wanting to run to him. To tell him how much I’ve missed him and ask what this last month has been like for him.
Has he thought of me as much as I’ve thought of him?
A smile crosses my face and falls as soon as he turns without another word, ignoring me altogether.
A tightness forms in my chest, and the pain of leaving him in Italy a month ago comes rushing back.
He walked away. And despite the time that has passed, it hurts like a bitch.