21. Capri
21
CAPRI
“When I said I would try a class, I didn’t mean set myself up to die.”
“Wasn’t it so fun?” Collie dances in circles around me. “The best kind of burn.”
“A blast,” I mumble. “So much that I doubt I’ll be able to walk tomorrow.” I give her a thumbs up, smirking playfully.
I finally caved on the hip-hop fitness class.
“I was watching you, and you killed it!” Collie attempts to convince me. “Who knew your hips could move like that?” She laughs, and I don’t blame her. Jokes aside, Collie knows how horrible of a dancer I am.
I don’t have a coordinated bone in my body. Walking is a struggle enough. I grew up playing softball and kickball with the boys.
Dancing has always been my sister’s thing, while I can barely clap to a beat.
Collie has been trying to convince me to join one of her early morning classes for years, and I’ve avoided them like the plague.
Again, not my thing. I’d rather walk to get my activity in. But I figured, why the hell not?
I think in another life, I’d choose to be a dancer over a teacher. But in this life, it’s for the best that I stick to teaching.
“Ask me how I feel in the morning when I’m walking like a newborn calf.”
I can’t help but giggle, Collie following suit.
I’m lucky I had a cute workout set to wear now that I have a working dryer.
Thanks to Jones.
I’m still shocked he’s here, in my hometown. Out of all the places in the world for us to see each other again, what are the chances it’d be here?
Slim to none, I’d say.
I fully intended to fix the dryer myself and be on my way. Not expecting to run into a handyman hottie, bag some free labor and a lunch date.
Companion. Not date.
“We gonna talk about the tall, dark, and handsome man from Italy that showed up the other night?” Collie asks me as we enter the juice bar.
I groan. “Do we have to?”
“Sure do. What do you want?” she asks, pointing at the full menu of fresh juices.
“Anything is fine.”
I find a seat at the corner table next to a window. Minutes later, Collie joins me and wastes no time questioning me.
“So, how do you feel?” Her eyes bug out of her head like she’s waiting for some juicy secret to be revealed.
“Uh, good,” I tell her, scoring me a look of annoyance. “What do you want me to say, Cols? I thought I said goodbye to Jones in Capri. I prepared my brain to never see him again.”
“But you did see him again, Capri. So, what are you going to do about it?”
I gape at her. “Nothing. I’m going to do nothing. If anything, I have a new friend.”
“A friend?” Collie’s shout can be heard from across the room. “That man is not your friend, Capri.”
“Yeah, actually, he is. He will be. In time, at least.”
I can see where this conversation is going, and I have a feeling I’m not gonna like it.
“You don’t silence everyone you care about after deciding to avoid saying goodbye to a fling for someone who’s just a friend. It was worse than with Drew.”
“Collie, I didn’t even cry.”
“My point exactly. With Drew, you went through the whole gamut of emotions. With Jones, although he was short-lived, you went silent for a week and then suddenly back to normal. Why do you think Mom keeps saying how different you seem, babe?”
“Cols, typically when someone goes back to normal, it means they’re fine. Not the opposite.”
She shakes her head and I feel nauseous. “After everything Drew did to you, you honestly think I believe that to be true? I know you, Capri, and you felt relief after the news of his affair came out. With Jones, all I saw was pain. It was like you were walking around with a void in your heart.”
She’s right. About both men.
I’m tired of wasting my breath on Drew, so I ignore her comment about him, but in reference to Jones…I remember the pain of leaving Italy like it was yesterday.
Just five short weeks ago, all I felt was numbness.
How is it healthy or normal, for that matter, to feel such a connection with another human being after only a week?
I’ll never know the answer because it happened to me. And it was very real.
Only, I thought the pain would be temporary and Jones would be written down as a great summertime fling I’ll look back on years from now.
Now, he’s here for the next three months before leaving again.
I have to, once again, protect my heart. Although, I didn’t do a very good job at that the last time.
Her statement makes me pause. “I did…feel something for Jones. It feels weird to even say that, but he’s special.”
Collie reaches for my hand. “I know, babe. I’m sure seeing him again was scary.”
“Yeah. I was finally accepting that I wouldn’t see him again and learning to be on my own.” I rake my hands through my hair in frustration. “God dammit, Jones Archer. Fixing my dryer and eating my crappy sandwiches.”
“Wait, what? You’ve seen him again?”
I can’t help it; I smile. “It wasn’t planned. Remember how I told you my dryer was broken?”
Collie nods, and I continue. “Well, I ran into him at the hardware store and he insisted on helping me fix it. So, he did, and then we ate sandwiches and drank a six-pack in the living room.”
These feelings are confusing. One minute, I catch myself blushing just thinking of Jones, and the next, I’m avoiding even saying his name.
I think I still haven’t accepted that he’s here and I could possibly be seeing him more often.
“I knew you had it bad. I called it from the beginning.”
I find myself getting choked up. “I can’t, Cols. One week with him is one thing, but three whole months is an entirely different setup for heartbreak. It’s deeper, more space to know each other.”
“You mean more space to love each other?”
“Yeah,” I say softly, twirling the bell necklace in my hand. “I can’t say goodbye to him again.”
“Good thing you didn’t the last time either, huh?”
I cut her a look and throw my straw wrapper at her. “Funny.”
“I want you to be happy, Capri. Let yourself be happy. Is it really that hard?”
“It’s more than just that, Cols, and you know it. Jones is a man with plans…plans I’m not sure I’ll be able to give him.”
“Shit. I know. I’m sorry. I’ll never understand the extent of what you’ve been through, but I can’t imagine it will ever be easier.” I shake my head, looking like an emotionally unstable woman in the middle of a juice bar. “Take your time and just follow your heart. Promise me you’ll at least do that, okay?”
“I promise,” I say. Although, I’m not sure my heart will lead me to happiness, but tragedy instead.