28. Capri
28
CAPRI
“Who’s the lucky guy tonight? Johnny or Mikey?”
Collie laughs, finishing up the curls in her hair. “Close. It’s Reed.”
“Ah! Reed. Right. Have I met him? Or is this a new one?”
“You say it like they’re ice cream flavors or something, Capri.”
I’m perched on the bathroom counter, wearing my pajamas while Collie gets ready for her date tonight.
I barged into her apartment to vent and freak out about going back to work. She quickly talked me off a ledge, poured me a glass of wine, and now, here we are.
“You two serious then?” I ask her.
“Not a single bit.” Collie scoffs. “You know better than that.”
“You know it wouldn’t be the worst idea.” I hand her the hairspray, leaning back as she coats her short blonde hair with some texture.
“Oh, really? And why is that?”
I shrug. “Why does there have to be a reason? You deserve to be happy, Cols.”
Her arms cross at her chest and she stops her movements. “You sure are one to talk, Mrs. I need to focus on myself.”
“Oh, no. Don’t make this about me.” I shake my head.
“If the shoe fits.” She huffs and makes no move to budge. “You know I’m right.”
“It’s not a matter of being right, Collie. I was married, he cheated, and now I’m single. I should be focusing on myself. You, on the other hand, only focus on yourself and never give any man a fair shot.”
“Eh.” She ignores me. “I’ll be fine. Let’s talk about you.”
My face hides nothing. “This conversation is far from over.”
Collie smiles, working on her makeup now. I feel the lecture brewing. “You need to move on.”
Predictable. “I have moved on.”
“No. You’ve met someone worth moving on for, but you haven’t actually moved on. There’s a difference.”
“You mean Jones?” I ask.
Collie nods. “You’re different with him. A good kind of different.”
It takes everything in me to hold back my smile. “He’s a good guy,” I agree, trying to dim my excitement at the mention of his name.
“So, then what’s the problem? The man is almost forty and fucking obsessed with you. I’m sure he’s met a lot of beautiful women.”
“Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence. Yes, I’m sure he has,” I admit. “It all just feels like too much. I don’t know if I’m ready. Not even considering the fact that he doesn’t live here.”
“There’s no equation to it, babe.”
“Don’t you think it’s too soon to have met someone worth being with? I mean, Drew and I haven’t even been split a year yet.”
Collie stops what she’s doing and stands directly in front of me before taking a long sip of my wine. “Needed the courage,” she says.
I’m silent, waiting for her to speak.
“I think before you and Drew split, you were already becoming the woman you were supposed to be. I just don’t think you see it yet. While he was fucking around on you, you learned to be independent and advocate for yourself. You didn’t just teach yourself that. You need to give yourself more credit. Look at everything you’ve been through. Not only with Drew but losing Stevie. Fuck, babe. The fact that you’re still standing says enough. You’re the bravest woman I know.”
“Cols,” I say, feeling emotional. “That was the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
The sincerity in her voice is there. She means every word. “Don’t expect it all the time.” She laughs. “I love you, Capri. And as your sister, I need you to stop going by the book for everything and just live. Love without thinking. Put it all on the line for someone worth it. Honor Stevie with your happiness.”
Honor Stevie with my happiness.
That’s all I could ever want. To be happy and make my son proud. I know that somewhere, he’s watching over me, guiding me throughout my life.
But is Jones the thing that brings me joy?
Without a doubt. But there’s no future, right? There will always be an expiration date with Jones. He lives in Capri, and I live in Timber Heights.
It could never work.
“I can’t say goodbye to him again. I hardly knew him before and it hurt like hell. But this time, we’ve shared too much. Gotten too close. I don’t know if I’ll survive it.”
“Who said you have to say goodbye?”
“Cols, be for real. Jones lives halfway across the world, running a full-blown company.”
“But have you talked to him?” she asks me.
“No, because we’re only supposed to be friends, remember?”
Collie rolls her eyes. “That’s the biggest load of shit and you know it. That man will never just be your friend.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Must I do everything for you?” She exhales, heading to the closet to pick out her clothes. “Read the room, Capri. Even I feel the heat between you two when you’re together. That’s rare.”
“Sexual chemistry doesn’t equate to soulmates, Collie.”
I follow her to the bedroom, plopping on the bed while she continues her lecture. As much as I act like it annoys me, I know she means well.
Collie sees the gray in things. I only see black and white. One way or another, there’s no in-between.
It’s convincing myself she’s right; that’s the hard part.
“And you wouldn’t know because you told him you could only be friends.” She smiles at me, and I realize how lucky I am to have a sister like Collie. She may not know the direction of her own life, but she studies mine and wants the best for me.
The same way I do for her.
“Fuck!” I shout, laughing at the tail end of it. “Why do men have to be so difficult?”
“Because they’re hot and they fuck us good.”
I giggle, pulling her in for a hug. “Maybe you’re right.”
“Oh, I’m most definitely right,” she exclaims. “So what are you gonna do about it, babe?”
“Baby steps, I guess.”
She smiles. “Sure. That’s a good start. Open your heart and spread your legs. That’s what I call winning.”
I toss one of the fifty shirts Collie’s thrown around her room at her head. “I’ll get right on that. Go breaks hearts, Cols.”
Her grin is full of promise. “Planning on it.”