42. Capri
42
CAPRI
Two Months Later
“Where is she?”
“Same place she’s been the past two months,” I hear Mom tell Collie.
I don’t have time to prepare before my bedroom door flies open, revealing Collie with eyes of fury.
“Oh, great. You’re up.” She trots into the room on a goddamn mission and hurls the blinds open, drowning me in painful sunlight.
“Jesus, Cols. What the fuck is your deal today?” I groan, covering my face with the blanket.
“Didn’t you hear? It’s intervention day, babe. A.K.A. get your ass up,” she shouts, ripping the blanket off of me and yanking my body up.
For being so small, she’s hella strong.
“You’re scaring me,” I say, looking at her in question.
She propels my body to the bathroom, instructing me to follow her lead. “Shower. You stink. You’ve got five minutes, tops.” Her nose scrunches as she takes a whiff of me. “And for the love of God, brush your teeth and meet us in the living room.”
“Us?” I croak, still trying to see clearly.
“Capri, just do what I tell you.” This is the most intense and serious I think I’ve ever seen Collie. That’s why I take the quickest shower of my life, brush my teeth, and throw on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie. The same outfit I’ve worn every day for the past two months straight.
Well, I’ve rotated through three.
Unless I’m working. In that case, I dress for work and change as soon as I get home. It’s been a monotonous few months in Timber Heights.
Entering the living room, it looks like a fucking therapy session has been set up. One single chair is placed in the middle of the living room, right by the TV. With my parents and Collie scattered across my sectional, looking at me with steadfast determination.
“Anyone want to explain what’s going on? I haven’t even had my tea yet.”
“Honey, we’re concerned,” Mom says painfully.
“I knew I should have changed the lock,” I mumble under my breath.
“Let’s be serious now, sweetie,” Dad says. “We only want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself.”
I gape at him. “I’m doing fine. You guys don’t need to worry about me.”
Collie barks out a laugh and it’s full of annoyance. “Is that what you call hiding in your apartment for two months, not eating or cleaning? God, Capri. Your room smells like horse shit.”
I roll my eyes, feeling defensive. “I’m coming off a breakup, okay? I don’t even know if it was a breakup if we weren’t technically together. But he left me, and this is how I’m choosing to cope with it.”
“Capri, look around you. This place hasn’t seen a vacuum in weeks. Your neighbor, Amy, even asked us where you’ve been. This isn’t healthy, honey,” Mom says.
This isn’t healthy. Those same words I heard exactly two months ago. Words that have replayed in my head over and over again.
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Mom.” I feel dead inside. Literally. Like my life has taken a rough turn and I’m this close to losing control and falling off a cliff.
At least then I’d be on the same level as my heart—on the ground in pieces.
I know that sounds morbid, and no, I’m not suicidal. But I have regrets and they’re eating me alive. Time has only made them worse.
Why is it that when the dust settles, we see things more clearly? After it’s too late.
“Have you talked to Jones, Capri? Have you even tried to reach out?” Dad asks, and my eyes take in the graying around his face. Despite getting older, he’s a handsome man with a big heart. I know he only wants me to be happy.
And I was. Until I fucked it up.
I huff, running my hands through my hair in frustration. “Of course not. He made it perfectly clear we were done and he never wanted to see me again.”
“That didn’t sound like what happened to me,” Collie says.
I cut her a look. “That is what happened, and it was the result of my stupidity and panic. I didn’t think I was ready. I fucked up, okay? I realize that. Now, can you all please let me be?”
Mom and Dad both go to speak at the same time, but not before Collie shouts, enough to silence the entire room. “Enough of the shit, Capri!” She walks beside me, crouching down in front of me in my chair. “You’re my sister and I love you, but you can guess again if you think I’m gonna sit around and watch you self-sabotage.”
“I’m sad, Cols. Not plotting my death. There’s a difference.”
Her hands find her hips. “Why? Because of a past shitty relationship? Because your husband cheated with your best friend and you were blindsided?”
I nod. “Basically.”
Her voice peaks at a higher decibel, the passion behind her intention made known. “Cool. Welcome to the twenty-first century, where everyone has a shitty past and a broken heart. That doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. Don’t be like Drew. Especially to a man who has done nothing but support you.”
I flinch. Not because I’m shocked but because she’s right.
“Collie, give her some space,” Dad says, trying to be my advocate.
I hold up my hand. “No, Dad. It’s okay. I need to hear it.”
Collie’s eyes settle on me again, and I can feel the emotion behind them. She’s just as upset as I am over this. “Capri, I saw you after Drew. We’ve talked about this before. But you are your own worst critic. Who says you can’t love someone after being hurt? You decided that for yourself, and what you failed to realize along the way is how happy Jones actually made you. How much he took care of you. I can’t remember the last time I saw you smile the way you did in Capri and the three months he was here. So Vivian triggered you? Who gives a shit. You let her win.”
“I didn’t mean to, but I just spiraled when I saw her. It didn’t help that Jones and I hadn’t talked about what happens after the three months.”
“Yet, you knew Jones would never hurt you like that?”
I nod. “He’s never made me think that.”
She throws her head back on a groan. “Then why would you jeopardize what you two have for something so small? God, Capri. You fucked up bad saying that about his mom. Really fucking bad.”
I shout, all my hurt coming to the surface. “I know that! I know I did! I hate myself every day for saying what I said to him. He’s too perfect, and it scares me. No one can be that perfect. We worked almost too well together.”
“So at the first sign of a potential problem you freak?”
I guess I did. Jones has been perfect this entire time. Pursuing me, caring for me, being patient with me. He’s never once shown me a side of himself that screams red flag.
If anything, I’m the red flag and he’s the green. The bright, loyal, all-signs-point-to-perfection green flag.
“I self-sabotaged,” I whisper, understanding it all too clearly now. “Jones would never hurt me like that. He loves me too much. Just like I love him.”
“Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner,” Collie sings out. “Now, what are you gonna do about it?”
“Let’s just take things one step at a time, honey,” Mom tells Collie.
What am I gonna do? I’ve been doing nothing but sitting on my ass for two months while the man I love carries on with his life across the world.
I’ve been doing nothing for too long.
Without a word, I dart to my bedroom and haul out my suitcase, throwing anything random I can find to wear and take with me. I don’t have time to waste.
“Sweetie, what are you doing? We’re not done talking,” Dad calls out to me.
I hear Collie giggling, and I know she’s gloating about the success of her intervention, but I don’t have it in me to fight it right now. Not when I have a plane to catch.
“So, what’s your plan, babe? Fly to Capri and say, ‘here I am, bitch’ or you got something better than that?”
Shoot. I honestly didn’t think this through. “I actually don’t know yet. I have a long plane ride to figure it out.” I pick up my phone and book the first flight out of South Carolina to Italy, needing to get there as fast as humanly possible.
I hustle in my bathroom, throwing my skincare into a toiletry bag as Collie says, “You realize you’re gonna have to grovel, right?”
Trust me, I know. “I’m well aware, and I’ll do whatever it takes.”
“You’re positive this is what you want? Because like I said, I’ll gladly take him if you don’t.” She grins, sarcasm strong.
I roll my eyes. “Oh, fuck off. I saw him first.”
Collie smiles wide and proud. “It’s about time you say it proudly.” She pulls me into a hug and whispers into my ear, “He’s not Drew, babe. You deserve a fair shot at happiness.”
I pause, taking in my sister’s words as a rush of emotions washes over me. “I’m scared, Cols.”
Her hold on me tightens. “One thing I know for sure is that Jones loves you. The kind of love a Meadows woman could only ever wish for. We’re strong personalities, difficult to tame and tie down.” She giggles. “But we love big. Even if we have a hard time showing it.”
I smile at my sister. My best friend and truly the most caring person I know. “You make it sound so easy,” I laugh, my gut churning with worry.
“So, show him. Show him how easy you can be to love and, most importantly, how you promise to love him back. I think if anyone would be understanding, it’s Jones.”
“You didn’t see his face, Cols. I destroyed him. I can’t even forgive myself. How should I expect him to forgive me?”
Collie smiles, wiping a tear from my face. “We all do crazy and horrible things sometimes when we’re in love. You had a moment. And one day, Jones will have a moment, too. Forgive yourself, ask him for forgiveness, then fuck it out.”
I throw back my head and chuckle, thankful to have a sister as genuine as Collie. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Cols.”
“Well, for starters, you’d still be in bed smelling like horse shit and rotten takeout. You can make it up to me later.” She grins.
“You got it,” I say, kissing her cheeks and gathering up the rest of my things. “I’m not sure what I packed, but at this point, it doesn’t even matter. I’m ready.” I take a deep breath.
If he turns me away, I’ll never recover. I know that much is true.
There’s no one quite like Jones Archer in this world, and I was the fool who hurt him. Who lost sight of her love for him in the middle of blind panic.
Who owes him a big-ass apology.
“Go get him, babe. And kiss Romeo and Luca for me while you’re at it.”
Will do. It looks like I’ve got some groveling to do.