2. Erik #2
And it kind of made sense for him to be thinking about her at this time of year. He always did. They’d spent all of their holidays together since they were both part of a crew at school that didn’t go home during vacations because of work or family stuff.
One Christmas, he’d been particularly down, and Jenny had made him a big pot of chicken soup. He could still taste the savory broth and the way it made him feel to sit under the twinkling library Christmas tree with her and eat it. It made him feel cared-for in a way he’d never experienced since.
Erik had been in love with Jenny—he knew that now. But the timing back then had been too wrong for him to admit something like that, even to himself. He had been in the ROTC program, which meant that after college he’d be serving in the military, most likely overseas.
And he knew all Jenny wanted was a big family with lots of children. He wasn’t going to slow her down from all that by dumping his feelings on her in college. There would be other women, later, when he was at a better point in his life.
The thing of it was, there really hadn’t been.
Not until Lydia, who was kind and steady.
And even if she didn’t howl with laughter at movies, or cry at the endings of books, she cared about Erik and she wanted the kind of life he did, a peaceful life of service to others.
She had liked him before she knew about his investments, and when he told her that he had money, she seemed to have no interest in a showy lifestyle.
They were perfect for each other, on paper at least.
Then why am I not more excited? Would I be rushing to the airport with my heart racing if it was Jenny getting off that plane tonight?
But it was hardly fair to compare the mature feelings he had for his longtime, long-distance fiancée to the wild, heart-wrenching nights he’d spent tormented over Jenny as a twenty-year-old college student.
Those had been the untested feelings of a romantic young man. What he had with Lydia was different.
He finally made it off the long country roads that wound through Trinity Falls and the surrounding small towns, and pulled onto the highway, reminding himself to drive carefully.
He didn’t head into the city very often, but when he did, there was normally a ton of traffic, even way out here. Tonight, the roads looked fairly clear, but Christmas Eve was a night when some people went out to parties and drank. The last thing he wanted was to get into an accident.
He hoped Lydia would like the rooms he’d reserved for her at the inn. Trudy had set aside the honeymoon suite just for them. The plan was for Lydia to stay there on her own until their wedding night, when Erik would join her.
Everything had been meticulously organized, right down to a nice meal that would be waiting for them at the inn tonight.
Hopefully, Lydia would be happy with everything he’d put together.
She’d been too busy with work to help with much of the wedding planning, so Erik had needed to handle it all on his own.
She’ll love it, he told himself, tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel with a sudden case of nerves.
Traffic picked up as he got closer to the airport, and when he finally arrived, parking was a mess. He felt very lucky when he managed to find a good spot, and headed inside, pulling out his passport and guest pass certificate.
He’d planned to leave more of a cushion, but by the time he made it through security, he was only about ten minutes early. He took a moment to grab flowers from one of the carts and made it back to the gate just as a flight attendant opened the rope.
Passengers began flowing out into the waiting area, starting with those dressed in business wear and fatigues, then followed by more people in everyday jeans and sweats, looking tired but happy to be off the plane.
Each time another group came out, he searched for Lydia’s blonde curls, but didn’t find her.
He thought there must be one more group of stragglers onboard when the flight attendant closed off the exit.
“Excuse me,” he said, approaching. “My fiancée didn’t get off yet.”
“That was everyone,” the lady said kindly.
Erik blinked at her, feeling like he was in a nightmare.
“Could she have missed her flight?” the lady offered.
“I don’t think so,” he said, frowning.
He pulled out his phone to check his messages, but it was already buzzing with a video call.
“Thank you,” he said distractedly to the flight attendant. “I’d better take this.”
He swiped his finger across the glass as he walked away.
Lydia appeared instantly on the screen, her eyes puffy and sad.
Instead of an airport in the background, he recognized the inside of her Seattle apartment behind her, windows overlooking the lights of the city she hadn’t even left.
“I’m s-so s-sorry, Erik,” Lydia said, wiping her eyes. “I just couldn’t do it.”
“Hey,” he said, continuing to walk through the terminal on autopilot. “Hey, don’t cry. What happened? What couldn’t you do?”
She took a deep breath and fixed her eyes on his, her head tilting slightly to the side.
“You’re not feeling it either, are you, Erik?” she asked after a moment. “Be honest.”
“Feeling what?” he asked, a weight settling on his chest.
“Whatever it is we’re supposed to feel right now,” she said softly. “What a couple feels the week before their wedding.”
He sucked in a breath and nodded slowly as he lowered himself into a seat by a random gate.
“I have so much respect for you,” she said. “You’re a good man, and one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”
He nodded, unable to speak.
“But I just… I don’t feel that tingle,” she said sadly.
He wasn’t sure exactly what she meant by that tingle, but he got the gist of it. His heart wasn’t pounding at the sound of her voice either. They really were missing that spark. And he wasn’t the only one that thought so.
“I’m so sorry, Erik,” she said. “I know this must hurt. I should have said something sooner, but we just make so much sense together. I kept thinking I was being silly. But then I just couldn’t get on the plane…”
“It’s fine,” he managed. “I’m glad you told me.”
There was relief in her eyes, and he felt terrible as he thought about her being afraid to tell him what he already knew himself.
They had friendship and mutual respect, but this wasn’t a romance, and it never had been. That was evidenced by the fact that even in this moment, he was more distraught about how to tell the vets back at the Center than he was about being dumped.
“Me too,” she said. “And I want to reimburse you for all the wedding stuff. I know you spent a fortune on it. And I’m so sorry about disappointing everyone…”
“Don’t even think about it,” he told her.
“They offered me a promotion at work,” she told him. “Now that I’m not leaving, I’ll take it and then I can afford to reimburse you.”
“I’m happy for you,” he said, finding that he meant it. “And listen, I’ll throw a big New Year’s party for the guys anyway. The catering won’t go to waste, so there’s no need for you to worry about it, Goldilocks. Besides, you know I’m not hurting for money.”
She smiled at him, gratitude in her big blue eyes as she swiped golden curls from her tear-stained face.
“Now listen,” Erik told her. “We’ll always be friends. So don’t be shy if you ever need anything, or you just want to keep me posted on your life.”
“I might need a little time on that,” she said, nodding. “But yeah, same, Erik. Take care of yourself.”
“You too,” he said.
And then she was gone, and he was staring at his own reflection in the darkened surface of the phone.
Erik wasn’t sure how long he stayed like that, trying to make sense of what he was supposed to do now.
He was roused from his thoughts sometime later by the sound of another plane full of travelers flowing into the gate where he’d sat.
Once again, there were people of all walks of life, looking happy and excited to have arrived, all filing in, carrying bags, and wearing big smiles.
And even though he knew for a fact that Lydia was still in Seattle and not on any plane, he still found himself scanning the river of passengers.
When he actually spotted a familiar face, he was so thunderstruck that he was on his feet before he had consciously decided to rise.
In his distracted state, he bumped into one of the oncoming passengers, who clomped down on his foot hard enough to let him know he wasn’t dreaming.
But if I didn’t fall asleep back on those chairs, then how in the world is this possible?
He stepped closer, blinking hard to make sure he wasn’t seeing things.
“Jenny?” he murmured.
She looked up, and when her dark eyes met his, Erik felt a curious tingle spread through his chest.