Chapter Thirty-Five
Haven
“What the fuck,” I whisper roughly as I open my eyes.
I went from the most pleasure possible to severe pain.
Now, I’m confused. Sitting up, I gaze around the room.
How am I here? I look down at my body, brushing my hands over my skin.
I’m wearing a shirt that isn’t mine, but it smells like Hunter’s.
Everything else looks normal, feels normal, yet when I look up, I’m in my mother's art room.
Her paintings are on the wall, and a mound of blankets are in the middle of the room.
With my hand pressed to my throat, I get to my feet and turn in a circle.
Everything is the same as before she died, except I can’t see out of the doorway.
It’s yellow, unending yellow. I flex my fingers, hoping my touch will ease the ache.
I was screaming seconds ago, wishing for my mates.
I wonder what they are doing while I’m in this other world.
I think of the conversation with Breeane and what her experience was like.
My mind can’t focus or recall her words.
“This is all in my head.” I walk to the wall and glide my fingers over the picture. It can’t be here. It’s in my room.
“Haven’t you ever seen a painting and the beauty of it stays with you wherever you go?”
I freeze, my fingers spread on the canvas. I know that voice. That voice is in my dreams.
“It’s not real. I’m dreaming,” I rasp.
“If it makes it easier to think it is.”
My heart pounds. I slowly turn my head.
“Mom?”
“Sweetheart,” she says softly. She stands on the other side of the blankets, wearing a long, flowy dress, bracelets circling her wrists, and smiling.
“How?” I cross my arms over my stomach and lean against the wall.
“You know the world is filled with magic.” She tilts her head. “How’s Rylee?”
“Rylee,” I laugh, straightening. “How do you know? Are you real?”
“I wish I could have stayed with you, so instead I sent Rylee.”
“Did you also send Jennifer?” I shake my head, moving forward.
“Jenica,” she says.
“Whatever.” I stare at her. “You're the same.”
“You aren’t.” She points to my hair. “I like it.”
“What's going on? I don’t know how to react.”
“You could hug me.”
I blink.
I take a step, and then run. My body hits hers, and she wraps her arms around me.
I tuck my head into her neck and hold on.
I don’t care what magic this is, being able to be close to her again is worth the mind fuck this will cause.
Her smell is the same. Her hair always smelled like flowers.
I flex my fingers, and her body is solid.
“You’re dead,” I mumble.
“Yes, but I’ve never left you.” She pushes me back, grasping my shoulders. “I didn’t have a choice. My time was over. I lived on in your dreams and memories. Rylee was a gift. She was as lost as you were, and I knew you could help each other.”
“Seriously, you sent her?” I ask, stepping back.
“I did. I couldn’t change the things you would go through, but I could give you an outlet. I didn’t know how your dad would change.” She brushes her hand through my hair. “It was your journey, and I wasn’t allowed to interfere. All of it led you here. To your mates.”
“You knew I would become a shifter.”
“Our choices put us where we're supposed to be,” she says.
“Why?” I look around the space. “Why did I have to live with him? Why did he change? I lived in that house, afraid all the time. He turned into a horrible man. I would cry at night for you, wishing you could come back.” I throw my arm out.
“You're here. Why now? Am I talking to myself? Is this my imagination?” I exhale harshly, tears in my eyes.
“Would you be the same if your experiences were different? Your father made his choices. He didn’t have to become the man he is now.
Something broke inside him when I died, and he could either rise above or fall.
He fell low, and I hated watching it.” I stumble back, my mind whirling.
“I tried to protect you as much as I could.”
“Rylee,” I whisper.
“Yes.” She smiles. “She saved you over and over again.”
“I know. She killed Jenica.”
“I will forever be grateful to her. I hope she will be at peace soon.”
I frown. “Is she going to find a mate?”
“That's her journey.”
“Great.” I roll my eyes. “I finally get to see you again, and you talk in riddles.”
“There is the sass I remember,” she laughs, and I stare at her.
“I never thought I would hear that again,” I say.
“I was always with you.”
“It’s not the same.” I look at the wall. “How is this possible?”
“Magic isn’t logical. You’ve seen Bane shift. You touched him.”
“Fuck,” I mumble, dropping my head. “I wasn’t prepared to see you again. I thought I was going to meet my animal.”
“You are,” she says, and I look at her.
“Are you my animal pretending to be my mom?” I ask, narrowing my eyes.
“No.” She moves toward me. “I am your mother. You see my body as you remember, but it’s my soul speaking.
Our bodies are weak and don’t last forever.
Our souls live on.” She touches her finger to my head.
“In our minds.” She moves her hand and presses her palm to my chest. “In our hearts.” She smiles.
“I heard you. All the times you talked to me. I know everything that happened in your life. Your jaguar is you. The men whom you have chosen as your mates are waiting for you to accept your gifts.”
“I don’t understand,” I breathe, covering her hand. “Will you be my jaguar?”
“My soul has touched your soul. You are a piece of me. Your animal is you.”
“Are you going to leave?”
“My body will disappear, but I will always be with you.”
“I want more time. I have so many questions. I love you,” I say, swallowing harshly.
“Sweet girl,” she hums, touching my cheek. “I will love you for eternity. Look to your mates for comfort.”
“I hope I made you proud.”
“I am nothing but proud. You protected yourself and blazed your own path. I watched you grow and become a woman. Your strength astonished me. The world as you knew it changed, and you adjusted with grace and an open mind. There is a reason your four mates fell in love with you. The beauty of your bond is their reward.”
“I do. I love them.” She moves back, and I know her time is over.
“Continue to paint. I will be with you when you do. Tell your mates their parents are rejoicing, grateful they are reunited. They want them to stop chasing answers and just be happy.”
“Mom,” I cry, shaking my head.
“It is the way of the world. This is not goodbye. Remember, I am inside your soul.” She smiles softly. “Are you ready to meet your animal?”
“Yes.” I brush my tears away.
“Do you choose to be a jaguar? Are you ready for your gifts?”
“I am.” She begins to shimmer.
“Do you choose to love and support the four men who are your mates?” Her words echo in my head.
“I promise I always will.”
“Meet your animal, my sweet daughter. You will be exceptional.”
Her body disappears, and a jaguar is where she stood.
“I have to sit down,” I mumble, slowly dropping to the blankets. “This is unreal.”
“We are very real,” a soft voice says in my head. I watch her prowl toward me.
“You’re beautiful,” I whisper.
“We are. I am you.”
“Rylee is going to flip when I tell her about this,” I say.
“Our sister will love it.”
“Sister, yes, she is.” My jaguar sits beside me, her eyes the same as mine.
“We are one,” she says.
“You are me?” I stare at her, and my mind becomes foggy.
“We are the same.”
“I am a jaguar.”
“We are powerful.”
“I am powerful. You are me, and I am you.”
“We are one. Shifter. Jaguar. Mate to four.”
I lift my hand and touch fur.
The pain explodes inside my body, and the room disappears.
I lurch upright.
“Haven.”
The conversation with my mom fades to the back of my mind, the scents surrounding me filling my senses, and all I can think about is my mates.
The room is brighter, and my world is different.
I look to my left at Remy, leaning close.
He was gorgeous before, but now I see him through my jaguars eyes.
I don’t fight the instinct, reaching around his neck and yanking him down.
My teeth slide into his neck easily, and I don’t think about the fact that they transform into an animals.
He needs to be marked and it can’t wait.
He groans, his hands squeezing my hips. His blood hits my throat, and I can’t believe how much I like it.
My body jolts, his need mixing with mine.
I take another pull and ease back, licking the mark. I stare at him, satisfied, yet not.
I want more.
Lawson moves on my right, and I turn my head and grab the neck of his shirt.
My body is moving at a speed that shouldn’t be possible.
He gives me what I want and offers his neck.
My teeth descend right before I strike. He tastes the same, yet different.
I slide my hand up the other side of his neck, holding him close, marking him as mine.
My hips lift, ready to claim them in every way, but I need my brand on their body.
I feel the bond snap into place, yet it’s incomplete.
I pull away, lick my teeth, and search the room for Hunter and Bane.
They move toward the bed at the same time, and I’m ready to pounce.
Hunter presses his fists to the mattress, slowly moving closer.
My mouth waters, staring at his skin. He hisses as I bite the front of his neck, immediately sucking hard, ensuring the mark will last forever.
He holds my head, his fingers flexing in my hair.
I want to stay connected, but I pull back, and kiss him lightly.
Another bond snaps into place.