Chapter 16
One month later
Chloe
“Mom,” I hesitated, unsure of the kind of message I wanted to leave.
I’d struggled with the thought of contacting her for a couple of weeks, but Nikolai had been right.
Family meant everything. “It’s me. Chloe.
I, um, just wanted you to know I’m all right.
One more year of school. I hope you and Dad are okay.
I just… There’s so much I want to say to you, but I doubt you want to hear it. But I miss you…”
The beep indicating the message was over cut me off. Maybe that was the best thing that could have happened. I knew my mother wouldn’t return my call. She had no reason to. For all I knew, my father would prevent her from doing so. At least I’d made an effort. That had to matter for something.
I got out of the car, taking a second to glance across the street at Travis’ bar. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to stop by. The memories were too fresh in my mind.
As well as the horrible ache that I doubted would leave me any time soon.
If ever.
Sighing, I closed the door and headed inside, my stomach churning. Last night had been the worst since my return. I hadn’t slept a wink, tossing and turning, images of Nikolai refusing to allow me to fall asleep.
When I walked inside the diner, I was grateful there were only a couple of customers. For about a dozen reasons, I wasn’t ready for a hot and heavy night. I shifted around the counter, heading into the back, catching Becky’s eye.
She studied me carefully, as if I was a fragile flower ready to sink into the dust. While she’d only asked a few questions about where I’d gone or what I’d been through, she’d kept a watchful eye over me like a mother hen.
“How’s the little house working out for you, hon?” she asked after sauntering closer.
Exhaling, I grabbed my apron, fighting to get the strap over my head. I offered a slight smile before jerking the strings and tying it around my waist. “The cabin is wonderful. I really appreciate your family’s kindness. I want to send some kind of a thank you to your cousin.”
“Oh, Bradly wasn’t using the old place. I’m really glad it’s working for you,” Becky said. “You’ve had a rough haul the last couple of months.”
“Stop worrying about me. I’m fine.” I was anything but fine.
At least my battered Monte Carlo hadn’t been destroyed in the Bratva’s attempt to hunt down Nikolai.
However, almost everything in my apartment had been.
If it wasn’t for the generosity of Becky’s cousin in offering the fully furnished cabin, I don’t know what I would have done.
Even though Travis had continued to try to get me to take money from Nikolai, I hadn’t been able to stomach the concept.
Maybe it seemed like blood money to me. A sharp pang slipped into my heart as it did every time I thought about the gorgeous Russian.
Even Travis hadn’t heard from him once since he’d left for Moscow. I knew what that meant.
I was forced to close my eyes to try to keep tears from falling. Life had to move on, but I wasn’t certain how I could do that.
“Uh-huh. That’s why you almost never smile any longer. Did the police ever catch the assholes who trashed your place?”
I’d tried my best not to think about everything that occurred over a month before, although the constant nightmares refused to allow me to forget. I was grateful the police hadn’t made any connections to the Bratva. I couldn’t imagine what would have happened if they had.
I’d returned to Waltham against Nikolai’s wishes, but I honestly had no other place to go.
I was determined to finish school, the only constant in my life.
However, I constantly looked over my shoulder and in the rearview mirror every time I drove.
Travis had insisted I carry a gun. That much I’d accepted.
“Not so far. Evidently there were a few other houses the bastards attacked,” I lied. I felt I had to. I could never tell anyone what I’d been through.
Or what I was missing.
“Is everything all right with you, hon? You just haven’t been yourself. I wish you’d talk to me.” Becky crowded my space, her smile warm.
I grabbed the master set of salt and pepper shakers, ready to perform my duties. At least working sometimes kept my mind off everything. Sometimes.
“I’m fine. I’m just tired.”
“And not sleeping. When are you going to tell me about him?” she asked as she followed me out onto the floor.
“Who are you talking about?”
“The man you’ve been pining away for? The one you obviously spent some time with a month ago. And the same one you’ve stared out the window looking for every single shift.”
A flush crept up from my neck and without even realizing it, I darted another glance out the windows, chastising myself as soon as I’d done so.
He wasn’t coming back, even if he was alive.
“That’s silly, Becky. I’m just trying to get my shit together. Nothing more.”
“Uh-huh. You’re a terrible liar. If you want to talk, I’m around.”
“And I appreciate that. Really I do.”
She huffed in an exaggerated manner before walking away. My thoughts immediately drifted to Nikolai, the hot feeling remaining only morphing into desire. How stupid of me. I had to get over this and find a way of enjoying my life all over again.
Growling, I set my mind on performing my tasks, even managing to hum for a few minutes while doing so.
I was so damn pathetic.
Within a few minutes, dinner customers started to arrive, and I was kept busy. As darkness fell, the same oppressive feelings rolled into my system. I hated the darkness as much as the loneliness.
But I plodded on, refusing to look out the window for the umpteenth time.
When the customers finally started to weed out, I almost had a panic attack. I’d need to walk out by myself to the parking lot. At least the owner allowed me to park in front given my ordeal. There was always a light overhead.
I grabbed a stack of plates, heading into the back. As soon as I’d gotten them into the sink, I burst into tears.
Within seconds, I felt Becky’s gentle touch, placing her hands on my shoulders. “Honey, you’re going to need to talk about whatever is going on. It’s eating you alive inside.”
“I just can’t right now.”
“There will always be other men. You gotta let him go, that is unless you can’t.” There was something different about her voice.
I turned around, wiping my eyes before looking at her. “No, you’re right. I need to. It was just a few days, but I miss him. That’s all I’m going to say.”
“That’s all you need to say. Any kind of grieving takes time.” She squeezed my arm before walking out into the dining room.
I shrank against the sink, my body shaking. I was a freaking out over a man I barely knew.
And one you loved.
And the one who said he loved you.
Yeah, right. That was just one big fantasy. It was time for me to grow the hell up. Sniffling, I took several deep breaths then wiped my hands on my apron. Maybe tonight I’d finally get a good night’s sleep.
“Um, Chloe. There’s someone here to see you.”
I jerked my head up, shifting my eyes back and forth. “Someone?”
“Yeah, a pretty handsome guy.” A sly smile crossed her face.
A rush of emotions swirled through me. “A man?”
She grinned from ear to ear. “Come on. Take off that apron.”
Shaking, I managed to do what she suggested, yanking my hairpin at the last minute and fluffing my hair. “Do I look okay? I mean at least presentable?”
Laughing, she shooed me toward the door. “Absolutely, honey. You’re one gorgeous girl. Now, go. Go! At least now you can tell him about your secret.”
“My secret?”
She nodded, her eyes twinkling.
I tried not to rush, my heart racing. After taking a deep breath, I managed to walk out the door instead of float. Please. Please. Please. After easing around the counter and taking two steps, I froze. “Travis. What are you doing here?”
When he turned around, I could see anguish in his eyes although he tried to mask it with a smile. “Hi.” He walked closer.
“Is something wrong?” My throat started to close.
“Um, I thought we could go somewhere and talk. Would that be okay? I have some… news.”
The world around seemed fade away, light shifting into darkness. I knew in my heart what he was here to tell me and this time, I couldn’t stop the tears. “Okay.”
* * *
Anguish.
I couldn’t think clearly or even focus. I was aware that Travis had opened his truck door, guiding me inside. I even knew that he was driving somewhere, but I was so sick inside that I couldn’t have said a single thing.
As he drove away from the diner, all I wanted to do was curl into a ball, pretending that none of this was happening.
Or that I’d never met Nikolai in the first place. No, that’s not what I meant at all. I loved him. I needed him. I…
All the emotions, including anger and fear swept through me.
“What is going on? Please tell me, Travis. I can’t take it. I just can’t take it.” The words exploded from my mouth.
“I just want to go somewhere quiet first, okay? I promise it’s not far.” His answer was so very soft, totally unlike the brusque man who’d helped to protect me.
“Okay, I just…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence, but I knew he was in just as much pain. They were buddies. No, they’d been friends. I lowered my head, shaking all over. Somehow, I’d have to find my inner strength.
I grew antsy. Then I grew irritated.
“Okay, what the hell is going on?” I snapped, hissing after doing so.
“Trust me.”
“What does that mean?”
Travis shifted his head in my direction. “It means exactly what I said.”
The change in his tone was odd. I counted to five, then ten. That was it. “Tell me right now what the hell is going on or I’ll get out of this car.”
“I heard you were this impetuous.”
“What do you mean you’ve heard?” When he didn’t answer but was forced to pull to a stoplight, I managed to open the door.
“Chloe! Do you honestly think I’d bring you all this way without a good reason?”
Exhaling, I snapped my head in his direction. “Then tell me where we’re going.”