Azeira
“Girl, cheer up!” Jatavia exclaimed, nudging me with her shoulder. “We’re supposed to be celebrating and you’re sulking! You’re finally free!”
My eyes lifted and I watched my friend as she danced in place while drinking her cocktail. I knew her intentions were good, but I wasn’t in the celebrating mood.
After Crusher dropped me at home, I stayed locked inside for a couple of days, not bothering to let anyone know I was back. It felt odd being home. It was as if I was a stranger in my own house. I had grown so accustomed to being with Kairus and around him that I wasn’t sure how to get back to my life before him.
Jatavia had been maintaining my house while I was gone and stopped by to grab the mail and everything when she found me staring blankly at the wall. She was ecstatic to learn Kairus had let me go and I didn’t have to work for him anymore. I should have been too, but I couldn’t find it in me. Before we even pulled away from the estate I grew sad. My heart hurt and I longed to turn around and go back inside, back into the bubble I had created with Kairus. The way he shut down after he gave me that soul snatching kiss made my knees weak and I coveted him even more.
Knowing Kairus and how he was, I expected him to come back and get me by now, but I was wrong and that hurt the most.
“I’m just tired,” I finally responded, wiping my eyes. I looked around my living room. The urge to get rid of everything and start over pulled at me.
Jatavia stopped dancing and faced me. She bounced her eyes around my face and squinted. Grabbing my phone, she paused the music.
“No, it’s more than that. Something’s up?” Her forehead creased. “Did he do something to you? Are you pregnant?” Her eyes bucked.
I choked on air and shook my head. “What no! You know I’m on the shot.” I bit into my bottom lip, remembering I was due for my next round. “I just don’t know what to do with myself now.” For a second I pictured me round with Kairus’s child. Knowing I would always have a piece of him caused my heart to skip.
Why didn’t he want me to stay? My hands clenched.
Confusion filled her face. “What do you mean? You can go back to school and come back to Elite.”
I rubbed my tired eyes. Elite was most likely out of the question. I didn’t even feel right going on random dates, no matter how innocent they were. School sounded good, but I needed to find out how missing the end of the semester had affected me.
“Yeah, I don’t know.” I needed to go to my parents’ house. Not only to see my mom but to talk to my dad. There was no way he got a hundred thousand dollars that quick. I was curious where the money had come from.
“You don’t miss him, do you?” Jatavia questioned slowly.
Lifting my eyes, I ran my tongue over my lips but didn’t answer right away. I knew she wouldn’t understand it. Everyone saw Kairus as a monster, not understanding he was so much more than that. That under all that cruelness was a heart worth loving. It’d only been a couple of days and I had the strong urge to run back to his estate and demand that he let me stay.
Instead of responding, I turned and looked at the window. A couple pushing a stroller was passing by.
“Oh, .” Pity dripped from her voice.
Tears clouded my eyes. “I’m fine,” I stated.
Jatavia reached over, placing her hand on top of mine. “You fell in love with him, didn’t you?”
I couldn’t speak because I knew if I did nothing but sobs would come out. “.” I shook my head and inhaled deeply.
“It’s fine,” I croaked.
When I walked out of Kairus’s house I felt like I left a part of my heart there with him. He was the first man to really see me, to value me, to crave me more. Spending time with him caused me to unpeel the layers and learn the man behind the beast. I shouldn’t have caught feelings for him. I shouldn’t wish he would come back and get me.
Our time had come and gone. Although I knew I would never have another man like him again, I knew I had to move on.
“Something’s different about you. Is everything okay?” Mom asked.
I nodded and ran my hand through my hair. “Should you be out of bed?” I asked as she moved around the kitchen.
She waved me off. “I’m not about to spend any more time wasting away in bed. I’m fine.” I wanted to protest but she seemed healthy enough. Her last day of chemo was last week and now it was just a waiting game. “Now back to you, don’t avoid the question. Why do you look like someone stole your best friend? Is it that boss of yours? Did he do something to you?” She narrowed her eyes at me.
Swallowing hard, I looked toward the entrance of the kitchen while leaning on the counter. “No. Nothing’s wrong, Mom. You worry too much.”
“I’m your mother, that’s my job.”
My tongue swiped over my lips. “Well I’m good. Just happy to have a day to relax and hang out with you.”
It felt weird knowing Crusher wasn’t outside waiting for me or that after I left here I didn’t have to rush back to Kairus’s house. I had been trying not to think about him though.
Mom pressed her lips together and gave me the “mom stare” as she tilted her head. “You know if you need to talk I’m here right?”
I nodded, giving her a forced smile. “I know.” She went to move and stumbled slightly, catching herself on the counter.
“Mom!” I rushed to her, holding her arm. She turned her head toward me, blinking a couple of times. “You need to get in bed. I think you’re overdoing it.”
She shook her head. “I just tripped, that’s all.”
I didn’t feel good about this. Mom wanted to be up and moving too soon. I got she was tired of being in bed but she needed to work on building her strength up before moving around.
Eventually I convinced Mom to get back in bed and lay down. She looked like she could tumble over at any second.
“When do you go back to the doctor?”
“In a few days. My last checkup went well though, no need to pester me.”
“I’m your daughter. It’s my job to pester you.” I wagged my brows with a grin.
She snickered. “You are my child.” Mom lay back on her pillow and locked eyes on me. “, last time you were here and that Navarro man showed up, he kissed you. Are you two in a relationship?” It surprised me that she hadn’t mentioned it before today, but at the same time I was purposely avoiding the topic when I spoke with her. I wasn’t ready for that conversation. I guess I couldn’t avoid it forever.
“It’s complicated, Mom.” I sighed, resting my elbows on the bed.
She didn’t respond right away. Sympathy mixed with worry passed over her face. “, you know that man, who he is, right? He’s dangerous. The rumors about him…”
I nibbled on my bottom lip. “It’s not what it seems,” I defended. “He’s not that bad once you get to know him.”
Mom lowered her eyes and reached for my left hand, lifting it. My cheeks reddened, knowing she saw the tattoo boldly written on my finger. “What’s this then?”
“It’s a tattoo,” I squeaked, pulling my finger away and cuffing my hand. I was upset when Kairus first marked my finger, but oftentimes I found myself staring at it and the one on my stomach.
“You don’t just tattoo a random man’s last name on you if you don’t have feelings for him. What’s the real deal with you two?”
“I told you it’s complicated.”
That didn’t soothe her worries. “He’s known for killing people, .”
“I know but…” How could I explain it? To the public Kairus was a criminal, a menace to society, the villain. From a parent’s point of view that couldn’t be assuring. “Do you know how I came to be with Kairus?” I questioned instead. I wasn’t even sure what was going on with Kairus and me so the last thing I wanted to do was speak about us.
“No.” Curiosity filled her eyes. “I wondered though.”
“Your mother needs to rest.” Dad’s voice sounded, interrupting the conversation. I twisted my neck to face him. There was an unpleasant look on his face as he watched us.
“I don’t need to rest. I feel fine.” I looked at Mom and she was frowning at him.
“You do need to rest, the doctor said so. Plus I need to speak with our daughter.” The way he looked at me made my stomach turn.
I forced a smile at my mom. “Go ahead and rest. I need to talk to Daddy anyways.” I stood and kissed her forehead.
Her eyes bounced between me and my dad. “You know one day you two are gonna tell me what the hell is going on. I’m tired of feeling like I’m being left in the dark.” She didn’t wait for a reply. Instead she turned her back to us and pulled the cover over her.
I shot a glare at my dad; this was his fault.
We left my mom’s room and instead of going into his office we continued until we got to the living room. Dad didn’t even let me speak before he grabbed my hand and lifted it.
“You let that man brand you!” The veins in his neck bulged. I could tell he was attempting to keep quiet so Mom wouldn’t hear.
Snatching my hand away from him, I held it and glared at him. “What I do to my body isn’t your business.”
His nostrils flared and his face flushed red. “Watch how you speak to me! I don’t know what brainwashing that man did to you, but I won’t stand for it. You will get that tattoo removed and we’re moving on with our lives.”
I shook my head and took a step back. “No.”
“No!” His eyes turned wild. “Do you hear yourself? Do you understand the kind of man he is!”
“The same kind you went to for money and took me when you couldn’t pay him back!” I matched his tone. I was sick of my dad acting like he was innocent in all of this. He had his faults too.
“Exactly, took you! He kidnapped you and forced you to be his slave.”
“I wasn’t his slave,” I spat with my mouth turned upside down. “I…I care about him.”
Care seemed tame to convey how I really felt about Kairus but that wasn’t something I wanted to confess to my dad.
“Care for him! , you can’t be serious. He’s a monster and if he didn’t have the police department in his pocket I would have made sure he was rotting in jail for what he did to us.”
I cut my eyes at him. “What he did was give you money to save Mom’s life. It’s not his fault you bit off more than you could chew.”
Dad looked as if I had struck him. In some ways I guess I had with my words. I had never spoken to him like this before and I wasn’t typically disrespectful, but I was tired of his self-righteous attitude about something he knew nothing about.
“Kairus was good to me, for the most part,” I admitted. “You might hate him and see him as the bad guy but I don’t.”
Dad looked like a fish out of water as he gaped at me. I knew he didn’t understand but I was learning it didn’t matter how others felt about us.
“I can’t believe this,” he muttered, more to himself.
I brushed my hand over my tattooed finger. “The money, how did you get it?” I asked, changing the subject.
“What?” His head shot up.
“How did you raise the money so fast?”
“That doesn’t matter. I got it and that’s all that matters.”
“Doing what? There’s no way you raised that much money in only four months, Dad!”
His eyes narrowed. “You need to remember you’re the child and I’m the parent. How I provide for my family is my business.”
I gritted my teeth and shifted my eyes to the side. “Fine,” I said finally. “I’ll be back tomorrow to see Mom.”
“I think that would be best.” Pain shot through my chest.
Distance was best for me and Dad right now. It hurt knowing our relationship would probably never be the same.
When I was outside I started for my car with a heavy heart. Just as I was about to open my driver’s side door, I froze. The hair on the nape of my neck rose. Spinning around, I darted my eyes around. Someone was watching me. He was watching me. I felt him. His presence was always so suffocating. Frustration filled me not seeing anything out of the ordinary.
Maybe I’m wrong. I bit into my bottom lip. Maybe doing all this talking about Kairus had me imagining things.
Sighing, I muttered to myself while reaching for my door again. Me and Kairus were done. He let me go so there was no point of him continuing to watch me.
“I understand, thank you anyway.” I smiled at Chrissy with understanding.
“I’m sorry, I really enjoyed you working for me too, .”
I shook my head. “It’s fine.”
I stood and turned to leave the office. I came to Sunny Side to see about getting my job back. I knew it was a long shot since I no call no showed then disappeared. I had a nice amount of money saved from working at Elite so a job wasn’t an immediate need, but I didn’t like the thought of just sitting around all day.
I left the office and walked through the restaurant, making sure to stop at the hostess desk to grab my to-go order.
“Thanks.” I picked the bag up and went to leave. “Oh.” I collided with a hard body just as I turned around.
“Sorry.” My neck tilted up.
He shook his head. “I should be apologizing.” He grinned. “A beautiful young lady like yourself shouldn’t be eating alone. Care to join me?”
My mouth grew dry. “I—” I started.
“Excuse me, where are my manners? I’m Chris.” He held his hand out.
Blinking slowly, I looked around before grabbing it. “.”
His smile widened. “A beautiful name for a beautiful woman.” He brought the back of my hand to his lips. My stomach dropped and my eyes darted around. Fear that Kairus would pop out and shoot the man struck me.
Quickly I snatched my hand away from him and forced a smile on my face. “Thank you.” I cleared my throat and tightened my hand on my bag. “I have to go though.” I went to move.
“Wait, if you won’t join me for breakfast, how about I take you to dinner sometime?”
“Oh I don’t.”
“Just take my number. If you’re interested, you can text me.” I nibbled on my bottom lip and shifted my eyes again. There was no harm in getting his number and it wasn’t like he was ugly. He was actually quite handsome.
“Okay,” I answered.
I went into my back pocket for my phone. When I unlocked it to give it to him, my heart dropped and my blood ran cold seeing the text on my screen.
Kairus: Unless you want someone else’s blood on your hands. I advise you to not let that man touch you again and walk away.
The threat shouldn’t have made my center throb, or my heart triple in speed, like it did . I knew it! I knew he was watching me. Quickly, I stepped back and looked around.
“I’m sorry. I can’t,” I blurted out and hurried past him. Rushing out of the door, my eyes darted around the parking lot. I hated how much I wanted to lay eyes on Kairus. How much I truly missed him.
My phone vibrated in my hands.
Kairus: Good girl.
A shiver shot through my body.
Me: Where are you?
Me: Are you following me?
Me: Why don’t you show yourself?
I miss you.
That was one text I couldn’t bring myself to send.
It couldn’t be this normal to be this addicted to a person. I wanted Kairus to come for me. To demand that I come back to his estate and stay by his side.
I waited for him to reply, but the seconds ticked by and nothing.
My shoulders fell and I tucked my bottom lip into my mouth.
He’s not coming .
I searched the area again. Part of me wanted to just go to Kairus’s house and demand that he take me back and fix things, but my pride wouldn’t allow me. He was the one who sent me away. He locked me up then suddenly threw me away as if I meant nothing. If he wanted to fix things, he had to come to me.
Part of me was tempted to go back into the diner and take that guy up on his offer, but I didn’t want him losing his life for me.
Seeing that Kairus wasn’t gonna appear, I turned to go to my car in defeat. It had been almost a week since I was sent away. I had my time, but now it was time to finish sulking. I had a life before Kairus and I needed to get back to it.