Chapter 12
Elodie
Just because it’s been a couple of days since I’ve seen Ortak and Gannen, doesn’t mean Ortak changed his mind about wanting to be friends.
I have to remind myself they’re most likely busy.
They have an entire village to help provide for.
They can’t spend all of their time here entertaining me. People are relying on them.
I do hope their time away is being spent with Ortak teaching Gannen the skills he thinks the young one needs. I could tell when we were talking how much he regrets holding his son back from doing all the things Sorin had been doing. I’m glad he’s making up for it now though.
A loud smack lands on the door flap of the tent I’d been provided by the shefira now that I’m able to get around by myself with crutches.
For the tiniest second, I almost regret giving up the raised platform bed in the healer’s tent.
I have no intention of telling Sage how hard it’s been for me the past two days getting up and down off the ground in here.
Hopefully, it’ll get easier the more I do it, because it sure isn’t yet.
“Just a minute.” It’s an ugly and clumsy effort—one that has me breathing heavy by the time I stand—but I manage.
I don’t even want to think about if I’d been trying to do this in my tent back at the settlement. Pretty sure it’s half the size of this one. I make it to the door and swing open the flap to find Astrid standing there with her kit secured in a sling against her chest.
“Good morning,” she greets me with the enthusiasm I haven’t seen wane once during my time in the village.
“Morning.”
“I was going to take a short walk and thought I’d see if you wanted to join Niella and me. Sage mentioned you like being outside and are used to being active.”
A happy grin splits my face. “I would love to come. You timed your stop perfectly, too, because I had actually been considering doing a little exploring right before you got here.”
“Excellent.”
“Give me a minute to get my shoes on, and I’ll be right out.”
“Of course, take your time.”
I close the flap and hurry to shove the foot of my good leg in my shoe. There’s no point bothering with the other one. Luckily, I was provided a stool to sit on to make the task easier. I chug a cup of water before I head outside.
Like ninety-five percent of the summer, the sun shines brightly in the lavender sky.
It’s maybe halfway between the morning meal and the midday one, so the chill in the air has mostly burned off by now.
There are a few puffy clouds overhead, but otherwise it’s a clear day.
Someone mentioned at the evening meal last night they smelled sky water on the horizon, though.
How they could possibly smell rain coming is beyond me, but I don’t question their senses.
“Thank you for inviting me.”
“Absolutely. I wouldn’t want to be cooped up inside all day either,” she says. “Evren went out with a few of the other guys to hunt, so I thought it would be good to get this little one out of our tent for some fresh air.”
Up until my arrival in the Tavikhi village, I’ve never spent a lot of time around kids.
From everything I’d learned about my father, I had half-siblings scattered all over the upper tier, but I had never met any of them.
In the human settlement, the kids all tended to stick close to their parents.
They certainly didn’t run around yelling and playing like the children here did.
It makes me think about how Gannen and Sorin grew up.
I can’t picture them having been rowdy or playful or bursting at the seams with unspent energy the way the half-Tavikhi, half-human kids are.
Considering all I’ve learned of the Krijese, letting children be and do, as children should was not a thing they knew or understood.
At least not until they became friendly with the Tavikhi.
“Is everything okay?” Astrid asks, placing her hand on my arm.
I stop for a second to give my leg a rest and catch my breath. “Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking about the differences in the kids here from the ones back at the settlement. How happy they all are.”
She glances down and strokes Niella’s white-blonde hair.
“During my time in the settlement, I’m not sure I saw anyone truly happy.
I mean, it’s a far better place than the bottom tier, and I know people are grateful for it.
But I also think a lot of them either don’t know how to be happy or they worry that if they express joy of any kind, what they have will be taken from them.
It’s rooted deep inside those who came from that place. ”
I try not to wince considering how willfully oblivious I had been to the way those in the bottom tier lived.
I took for granted all the advantages I had and ignored what it must have been like for those not as fortunate as me because it made me uncomfortable.
Astrid being so empathetic and knowledgeable about life in the bottom tier—considering she wasn’t part of it—makes so much sense.
We start off again, our pace a comfortable one. I scan the ground for any uneven areas or holes I need to avoid with my crutches. I’d rather not fall.
“I’m pretty sure Sorin and Gannen were like the kids in the settlement before they were taught differently by Talek, Bazel, and Cecily,” Astrid says.
“At least that’s what I suspect. I wasn’t yet part of the tribe back when the Krijese and the Tavikhi became allies, so I’ve only known the two boys a short time.
To hear Evren talk about it though, Kala and his people have changed drastically.
He says he has a hard time remembering what it was like before, when they were enemies. ”
“Ortak and I talked about how it used to be when the humans first arrived on this planet. How they attacked us. How so many of us died at their hands.” Like I told him, though, that was a past version of him. One I didn’t know and had no right to judge him for.
“I’ve seen true evil,” Astrid says quietly.
“I lived with it for years. Human men can be equally as—if not more—deadly and vicious as the Krijese used to be. I’ve seem them change during my time on this planet.
Become better. A large part of that is because of Sorin and Gannen.
Kala and Ortak want the best for their children.
For their people. They will do whatever they can to make those kids happy. ”
I bite my lip, unsure if I should mention anything or not. Except I could really use someone to talk to. We’ve wandered far enough and while people move throughout the village, no one is within hearing distance of us. “Gannen is hoping for a new mother.”
Astrid glances over at me. “That new mother being you?”
“It was inferred, anyway. My guess is because I’m the most convenient. I’m probably the only unmated adult female he’s had any significant interaction with.”
She stops and cocks her head. “Sorin had plenty of interaction with the other women before they were mated, but it wasn’t until he met Iris that he latched onto the idea of her being his mother.
While there aren’t many of them, female Krijese do exist and even live in Ortak’s village.
Gannen could have chosen any one of them to be his next mother if he was looking for someone merely convenient. ”
Maybe. I just haven’t gotten the impression the females of their tribe are that maternal. Then again, I don’t think I’ve given off any maternal vibes either. Not that I’m opposed to having a child, even one who was already half grown.“I don’t know if I know how to be a mother.”
Astrid laughs loud enough to startle Niella.
She soothes her daughter who settles and then she looks at me.
“Does any woman instinctively know how to be a mother? I definitely didn’t.
But do you know what I’ve learned along the way?
It only takes a single thing to be a mother—or a father—and that’s love.
So long as you love your child, nothing else matters.
Being a mother just means you have love to give. That’s it.”
God, is it really that easy? Not that I think being a parent is easy, but the loving part, I mean.
I picture Gannen and how sweet and funny he is.
He would be so easy to love, I’m sure. There’s still the whole Ortak aspect to think about.
Although, divorced and unmarried couples co-parent all the time.
“What are you thinking about, because you suddenly have this look on your face…?” Astrid asks.
“I can’t believe I’m thinking about this or trying to rationalize how it might even work.
” The more I think about it though, the more it starts to slot into place like missing puzzle pieces.
Has this what I’ve been running toward all this time?
Or am I just justifying some wild idea for some godforsaken reason?
“You don’t have to decide what to do right this second,” Astrid assures me.
“Take some time to think it through. Gannen wants a mother. Wants you for a mother from the sounds of it. Zander and London have openly stated they welcome any member of the human settlement to become a part of our tribe. The minute you decide you want to stay, you’re one of us.
Gannen would be as well. Ortak wants what is best for his son.
If that happens to be you, then why not make everyone happy? ”
In the distance is the sound of wooden and steel weapons clashing in the training arena.
I have a direct view of the area where the elders all live and the vast mountain range behind it.
Several sit around their own central fire and pass a jug of some kind between them.
The river flows nearby. Yellow birds fly through the sky, calling to each other in their own language.
The scent of the fire that always burns is heavy in the air.
Tents of varying sizes stand scattered throughout the village as far as I can see.
Life on Tavikh is different than on Earth.
I know that, but even on this planet it can’t be as simple as a child asking a person to be their new parent, and all they have to do is say yes?
“I’ll think about it.” It’s the only concession I can give.
“Good.” Astrid clasps my arm. “It would be an adjustment for everyone, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. If being a mother is a desire you’ve given even only a brief consideration to and you have love ready to share, then don’t let fear or self-doubt hold you back.”