Chapter 7 #2
I stood in the living room as my father came back and sat down in his recliner, rocking back and forth. The creak of the old wood echoed in my ears, and I looked around, peering into the time capsule that was over fifteen years ago.
Taylor wasn’t here anymore. She had long since passed on, but the shrine to her memory echoed within these walls, begging for freedom.
That was what she had wanted. Freedom. The ability to make her own choices and keep our family whole. But it hadn’t worked. Taylor had found her freedom, at least I hoped—freedom from pain and from the lack of dignity that came from cancer. But our family was never the same.
And I couldn’t change that.
I stood there for another twenty minutes without saying a word before I left, not bothering to look at them. They weren’t looking at me.
I got into the car, leaned my head against the steering wheel, and let out a shaky breath.
“Happy birthday, Taylor,” I whispered.
Then I started the car and headed towards home.
I didn’t even realize I’d stopped in front of Madison’s coffee shop until I was already there.
I needed caffeine. Something. I didn’t want to go home alone, even though I knew Ronin would be there the moment I asked him to come.
I didn’t want to ask him for help. He had work to do, and we had both known that today would be hard.
I shouldn’t need help with every single little thing.
I sighed, annoyed with myself, and went in for coffee.
Madison wasn’t up front, but one of her friendly staff members was.
I smiled and ordered myself a chai latte, the one that came in the big mugs that usually made me happy to look at.
Once in hand, I went back to one of the tables, holding back tears.
I probably shouldn’t be out in public, but I really didn’t want to be home.
I faced the door, just needing the light, and then I looked up and suddenly realized I wasn’t alone.
Kincaid stood near the table, his head tilted to the side as he studied me, a cup of coffee in a recyclable cup in his hand.
“Julia? What’s wrong?”
I looked up at him and then blinked, before bursting into tears. Gut-wrenching sobs that scared even me.
Kincaid cursed, set down his coffee, and sat in the booth, somehow bringing me into his lap. Others were looking, but he waved them off, running his hands over my hair.
“Ronin said today was about your sister,” he whispered, and I nodded, embarrassed that I couldn’t stop crying.
Instead, Kincaid kissed the top of my head and pulled out of the booth, using his strength to carry me.
“I’m fine, don’t carry me. This is embarrassing. I need to come back in here one day without having everyone remember me like this.”
“They’re fine. They understand.”
From the way he growled it, I was pretty sure if they didn’t, he’d beat them into it. It didn’t matter. I didn’t look at anyone. Instead, I leaned into Kincaid, needing to breathe.
“My car,” I whispered.
“Oh, you’re not driving, we’ll come and get your car later.”
“Give me the keys,” Madison said, and I sniffed, looking over my shoulder.
“I’m so sorry.”
“No, don’t be sorry. We all need to cry sometimes.
Kincaid will get you home,” she said softly, giving me a searching look.
“I’ll get Aaron to drive your car back later.
We’ve got you. Don’t worry.” She kissed my cheek, took my car keys from my purse as I tried to fumble with them, and we left after taking my house key.
Kincaid got me into the car and silently drove to my home. I wondered how the hell I’d gotten into this situation.
“I’m fine. Really.”
“I already texted Ronin. He’s in a meeting but will get out as soon as he can.”
“He doesn’t need to. I had a tough moment. I’m fine.”
Kincaid glared at me, his red hair fiery in the sunlight. “I’m getting you inside, then I’m going to tuck you in, and you’re going to deal with me learning this whole caring shit.”
I snorted. “Oh?” I laughed. I didn’t think I could laugh today. Who knew someone other than Ronin could do that for me?
“Come on. Text Ronin so he knows you’re okay. At least as okay as you can be.”
I pulled out my phone and leaned into Kincaid as he walked me into the house.
Me: I’m home.
Ronin: Are you okay?
Me: I am. Kincaid’s here. I feel like such an idiot.
Ronin: Don’t. Let him take care of you. Let him hold you.
I frowned.
Me: What do you mean?
Ronin: Just let him hold you. Do what you need to do. I’ll be home later. I love you.
Me: I love you too.
I put my phone down and looked up as Kincaid walked into the living room, a cup of tea in his hand.
“I have no idea how to make a chai latte thingy, but you had tea and a teapot.” Kincaid sat next to me and kissed me hard on the mouth, shocking me. “Did that kiss help you get out of your funk?”
I snorted, shaking my head. “I wouldn’t call it a funk. I just…today sucked.”
I explained in detail about my parents and my sister, and Kincaid shook his head, growling when I got to the harder parts.
“You know I want to say that I can’t believe your parents would do that, but as my parents are pretty similar, I can’t say that.”
I set the now-cooling tea aside and looked at him. “Your parents blame you for your sister?” I whispered.
“They do. They’re pretty shitty people, but I can’t blame them for hating me. I hated myself for a long time. I’m only now realizing that I don’t have to hate myself every day.”
I reached up and cupped his face, his beard soft on my skin. “You don’t need to blame yourself at all. Accidents happen.”
“And you don’t need to feel guilty that you are here and Taylor isn’t.”
I closed my eyes tightly, let out a breath, and leaned into him. “For someone who says he’s not good at this whole caring thing, you sure know exactly what to say.”
“Sometimes, I do. Other times I feel like I’m forty steps behind. But I’m catching up.”
I looked at him, and he tucked my hair behind my ear.
“Is Ronin going to be home soon?” he asked, his voice deep.
I swallowed hard, looking at his face, my lips going dry. “He’ll be home later. He told me I need to let you take care of me.”
Kincaid studied my face, then tilted his head. “What do you think he meant by that?”
I let out a shaky laugh. “Knowing my husband, it could mean anything. You know Ronin.”
“You know, I do. I thought maybe he had changed over the years, but he’s still a man who puts everyone else before him.”
“That’s what he says about you,” I whispered.
Kincaid snorted. “And you know what? That’s what he says about you. The three of us together really need to learn to take rather than just give, right?”
“Or maybe it all balances out.”
We were both silent for a moment before Kincaid leaned closer and gently brushed his lips against mine. “Can I keep kissing you?”
I wanted to feel. I wanted to be. In this moment with Kincaid? It felt right. It felt like what Ronin would want and what I wanted. And so, I leaned into him and kissed him. “Please.” He kissed me back.
He ran his hands through my hair, pulling it out of its chignon, and I grinned.
I hated the damn thing. He yanked me against him, and I landed on his lap, straddling him.
He kept kissing, tugging my head to the side so he could lick at my neck.
I rocked against him, his cock pressing against his pants.
“You’re killing me.”
“I want you,” I whispered.
“Are you okay wanting me without Ronin here?”
I nodded. “We already talked about it. All three of us. We’re duos and a trio. Ronin knows what we’re doing.”
Kincaid smiled. “Yes, he knows what we’re doing.” And then he kissed me again.
He methodically pulled up my shirt, exposing my breasts. He lowered the lacy cups of my bra, sucking one nipple into his mouth and then the other. I was wearing a skirt, the soft folds bunched up over my hips, and he slowly ran his hands up my thighs, gripping my flesh.
“You’re so soft,” he whispered.
“And you’re not,” I said, my hands moving up and down his chest, learning the hard planes of him.
He grinned and let me pull off his shirt so I could keep touching him.
He was all cut edges and hardness. Ink, scars, and man.
I kept touching him, wanting more. He was different than Ronin, who was also ink and scars.
I loved that I was learning them in different ways, and that this was different than what I had with my husband.
This wasn’t Ronin, and yet it felt right.
This was what Ronin and I had been missing, even if we would have had a perfect future without Kincaid. I knew this only enhanced everything.
Kincaid slowly ran his hands up under my skirt, tugging at my lace panties.
I groaned, rocking myself along his erection.
“Need a condom,” he whispered.
I nodded, reaching for my purse. I pulled one out and grinned. “Ronin put this in there a week ago, for just in case. That man is a planner.”
Kincaid laughed before he kissed me again, and we kept moving, rocking into one another.
I undid his belt, and both of us moved to pull his pants down to his knees.
Then he sheathed himself, and I met his gaze, my hand on his shoulder.
When he placed himself at my entrance, I slowly, ever so slowly, rotated my hips and lowered myself onto him.
He filled me to the point that it was almost too much, and I let out a shuddering breath, needing a moment.
He was so deep this way, and it took me a bit to breathe.
And then he was kissing me again, his hands on my body as he slowly brought me closer to the edge.
When we moved, him thrusting up, me pushing down onto him in the perfect rhythm, I panted, needing more.
He played with my breasts before flicking my clit, and then I came, rocking on him, forgetting everything but him and Ronin and what we could be.
Kincaid kept moving, and then he came hard, biting my shoulder as he grunted with his orgasm.
I held onto him, both of us shaking, still partially clothed, and then a pointed cough behind us pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked over my shoulder and grinned.
Ronin leaned against the doorway, shaking his head. “I’m glad I didn’t invite Aaron in after he dropped off your car,” Ronin said softly.
“Hi, husband,” I whispered, not feeling the least bit self-conscious.
Ronin closed the door with a click behind him and strode over to us.
“Do you mind if I join?” my husband asked.
And then Kincaid and I, without saying a word, held up our hands, and the connection snapped into place.