5. Sienna #3
There’s silence from her end. Both of us know it for the lie it is. I still feel the heated embarrassment from being so publicly humiliated.
“I'd still like to kick his ass,” she grumbles after a moment.
I choke on my food, because if anyone were capable of doing that, it's certainly Romi.
“Tell me about you. How's the art gallery? How is Dante doing? What about Ara and the baby? I haven't spoken to Lily or Elanee recently either. Are they okay?”
“Dante’s still alive, but only because I permit it. I swear I want to strangle that asshole as much as I want to fuck him. With that said, I'm happy.” I can hear the fondness in her voice when she speaks about Dante.
I glance up at Nikolai, who’s leaning forward, most likely hoping for information on my friends, but he's not going to get any gossip or leads from me.
I don't give a shit about whatever war games these men are playing. I only want to talk to my friends as I usually would.
Romi continues. “Haven’t you spoken to anyone else recently? I thought you were going to try to catch up with Lily and Lorenzo while they're living in Italy?”
“I'm just taking some time out for myself,” I say. Not a complete lie, but it’s certainly forced by another person's hand.
Romi is quiet once again, but considering she recently had to do the same thing, I know that she'll respect my privacy and leave it at that. “I understand. But if you need anything, you'll let me know, yeah? We're only a flight away.”
My heart softens, wanting so desperately to be able to go home to them. I choke up as I think about the murder I witnessed today, and my appetite suddenly sours.
I wonder if Romi really knows that Dante is a dangerous man. That all the men my best friends have chosen are killers. Is it possible that they’re no different from Nikolai? It hurts to know that I've been left in the dark, but part of me remains skeptical without proof.
“Lily sounds like she's enjoying the European sun at the moment. And Elanee’s matchmaking business has absolutely boomed so much that we’ve hardly heard from her.
Ara is busy doing full-time mom things. It's only been a few months, and I swear she's already itching to go back to work. What about you? Are you looking after yourself? Are you eating properly? Giving the British boys hell?” I can imagine her waggling her brows at the last part.
My mouth goes dry. Because although I set off from New York holding my head high, I’ve felt anything but confident since returning to London.
I look over at Nikolai again, and he’s studying me carefully. I wonder what he’s thinking and why he allowed me this phone call in the first place. I can’t help but think maybe it’s a trick, but I was too greedy not to take the opportunity.
I place the food to the side, no longer able to stomach it.
“Everything's great,” I say tightly. “Just finding a new lease on life and figuring out what I want now.”
“You have plenty of time to figure it out. Whatever you need, just let me know.”
That low ache in my stomach returns. It always hurts when people say that you have plenty of time to figure something out.
Nobody ever talks about how difficult it is when you thought you already had it all mapped out, but then it crumbles away, leaving you to come to terms with what you’re left with.
“I will. Thank you, Romi. I love you,” I say sincerely, trying not to choke on the words.
What if this is the last time I'll ever speak to her? What if despite Nikolai’s promise that I’ll remain safe, I don’t?
I wonder who my disappearance will affect the most. “You're a good friend,” I add, forcing a more upbeat tone because I don't want her to see through the cracks.
I don't want anybody to see past the facade of a perfect life I've created. And I especially don’t want this small taste of freedom Nikolai’s given me to be revoked.
“No problem. Don't be a stranger, okay? I miss you, and I'm so proud of you,” Romi says before yelling, “Borris, get out of that! Sorry, I have to make sure my dog doesn't eat my tubes of paint. I'll talk to you soon.”
The line goes dead, and I'm immediately plunged back into my new reality.
It feels like the worst type of hangover after hearing her voice. She has no idea. Does Luca even know that I'm being used as a pawn in their game? Or is this all just mind fuckery, where I'm far from safe?
Nikolai crosses the room in three strides. He holds his hand out expectantly, and I set the phone into it. Despite hating him, I quietly say, “Thank you.”
He nods silently and then turns to leave. When his hand lands on the doorknob, I call out to him. “What’s in this for you?”
Nikolai’s a brute, but up until now, he’s been … relatively passive, his threats aside. I have no idea how to start making sense of his motives, and I don't know why I care so much. Perhaps it’s out of self-preservation. Better the devil you know than the one you don’t.
He looks over his shoulder and says, “Worry less about me and my intentions, and focus on yourself. Eat, mishka . We made a pinkie promise, after all.”