38. Nikolai
NIKOLAI
S ienna holds my hand beneath the table.
I’d much rather her not be here for this, but I know there was no keeping her away. She is a woman who gets what she wants, and perhaps I’ve become soft.
Today, she wears a white halter dress that flares out at the waist, and accentuating her long legs is a pair of high heels with bows on the back.
Her blonde hair is loosely pinned up, and she wears pearl earrings and her mother’s necklace. As usual, she looks like a goddess.
“Your beauty is blinding, mishka , especially when we agreed on somewhere discreet.”
We’re in a packed restaurant, though I have no appetite. Especially since Dmitri accepted our invite.
“Rare of you to give me such forward compliments,” she quips, then smiles and asks the server for a bottle of sparkling water.
“I show my appreciation through action,” I say, reminding her of her battered ass. A hot flush streaks her cheeks.
It’s a week after our confrontation with The Wolf. And though I’m still healing, I’m no worse for wear. My hunger for the hunt increases by the day, and it won’t be long until I leave, making good on my promise to take out anyone I deem a threat to me and my future with Sienna.
There are still too many variables around The Wolf’s death. Apparently, it was Mikhail who sold his sisters out to Luca to use against their father. It seems Mikhail wanted him out of the way just as badly as I did.
From the information I’ve gathered, Mikhail has gone missing.
Most likely because if anyone else uncovers that he’s the mastermind behind The Wolf’s fall, there will be a target on his back.
What I can’t understand is why he went to these lengths, and how he could betray his sisters.
But that’s not something I have to concern myself with.
I just have to make sure he doesn’t become a problem in the future.
“Oh, there they are,” Sienna says, getting to her feet.
When I see Dmitri, the hotshot billionaire, I must confess, I feel nothing.
He’s well dressed in a dark-blue suit, and his hair buzzed short, revealing the scar on his head.
He sizes me up in the same way I do him.
But it’s when my gaze slides to Elanee that my stomach sinks.
As Sienna pulls away from their hug, I notice Elanee’s swollen stomach. Pregnant.
Dmitri nods to Sienna in greeting, but his gaze hasn’t left mine, and he noticeably moves Elanee behind him.
“Dmitri, it’s fine,” Elanee says, practically shoving him out of the way. And when her eyes meet mine, she says. “Hello, Udav .”
She looks healthier now. Her complexion warm and pink, when it was once pale and sickly. Her curly blonde hair frames her face, and her light-brown eyes no longer hold resentment or vacancy. She’s alive. Safe. Thriving, even.
Sienna once asked me if I regret anything in this life. I told her no, but that there was one woman who haunted me because of my inaction to help her. And when facing that ghost, the subtle shift of shame and relief washes through me. Emotions I wasn’t acquainted with until meeting Sienna.
“It’s good to see you as well,” I say sincerely.
Dmitri’s gaze narrows. “You know my wife?”
Sienna’s gaze bounces between us, and I can see the moment it clicks into place, when she realizes Elanee is the woman who haunts me. Her eyes prick with tears, but she quickly says, “Let’s sit down, shall we?”
Dmitri’s gaze bores into me as we sit across from one another. The hot-commodity billionaire himself. I must confess, I don’t know what I expected, but I thought perhaps I would feel more.
“I expected you to be bigger,” I admit.
“I expected your speech to be slower,” Dmitri replies, and we both smile insincerely at one another.
“Dmitri,” Elanee reprimands.
“You’re pregnant,” Sienna blurts, obviously trying to turn the conversation in a more positive direction.
Elanee’s hand goes to her stomach, and a soft expression comes over her face. It’s different from the version of her I remember—frightened, tormented, hurt by the hand of my and Dmitri’s father.
He used her in his game to coax Dmitri out. I never understood his obsession with Dmitri, but what I know is there was no familial love. Not between them. And not between us. Just a sick, twisted fascination.
It was only ever a game to The Lion. He only cared about who was the strongest so he could fight them. Which is why it had come as such a surprise to me to hear that this man, stacked on all his riches, was able to take him down.
“Yes, I’m six months along, actually,” Elanee says with a warm smile. “I never thought I’d be able to have children. We’re feeling very blessed.”
I slide my hand beneath the table to Sienna, who smiles brightly. “That’s incredible, Elanee. I’m sorry I didn’t already know, but I’m happy for the both of you. Truly. ”
I want to fight the pain I can tell Sienna’s holding back, even with the sincerity for their joy. She will never have this. It’s something she’s wanted so badly, and I despise the fact that there’s nothing I can do to fix it.
I wish she weren’t so nice as to congratulate others on their growing families when it probably causes a tiny piece of her light to die each time. Perhaps, like a lot of things these past few months, it’s another weight Sienna is choosing to let go instead of fighting against.
Elanee turns to me. “As long as you’re not here to kill my husband, I wanted to thank you, Udav .”
I mask any expression, but I’m confused as to why she would thank me.
“I haven’t yet decided if I will or won’t kill your husband. He’s very underwhelming,” I reply.
She smiles then, and it stops me in my tracks.
Not because it’s particularly spectacular, but because I’d never thought it possible for her to do so.
I was one of the many monsters in the shadows during the time she was held captive by my father.
I wasn’t often around, so there was little I could do against his cruelty toward her.
She didn’t deserve that treatment, but that was the world we’d lived in.
Elanee was different from that world, and it would appear, despite all odds, she came out stronger, when most would’ve broken. In fact, she’d been broken. I imagine her ability to crawl from that bleak hole has much to do with the man sitting across from me .
I need to stop discrediting the force of such women. Sienna squeezes my hand, and I’m reminded of her gentle power. If anyone even tried to touch her in the ways Elanee was so unfortunate to endure…
“You helped me when you could. You even went as far as to antagonize The Lion multiple times so his attention was drawn away from me. I haven’t forgotten your kindness or the scars you bare because of it,” Elanee says, and the shadows that haunt her hang heavily in her eyes.
My jaw tics because what I did wasn’t enough. Dmitri studies me as a vivid memory returns of one such occasion when my father and I came to blows. That particular incident had him driving a broken bottle into my stomach.
“I’m not a hero,” I remind her. “I could never get you out.” I’d intended on helping her after I realized the extent of his cruelty, but then she was gone, returned to New York. That’s when I knew my father was playing another of his sick games.
“But you were there,” Elanee adds, and looks up at Dmitri, who looks like he’s ready to fucking kill me. And that’s when I see it, the deadly fire in his gaze. Perhaps he does harbor our familial bloodlust after all.
I remember everything clearly from that day The Wolf fell. And I have no intention of killing him since he was part of the reason my woman made it out safely.
“Why did you come here?” Dmitri asks. “The moment we caught wind that Sienna had been taken, I took Elanee out of the city. Even after these years since killing The Lion, I’ve always been restless that someone would come after me in retribution.” His jaw tics.
“I didn’t even know I had a half-brother, but when Luca speculated they thought The Wolf was behind Sienna’s kidnapping, Elanee forced me into action.
No offense, Sienna.” Dmitri dips his head.
“It’s precarious being involved in this world, realizing to what lengths you’re willing to go to protect the woman you love.
I would die for Elanee time and time again.
So tell me, Udav , do you plan on killing me? ”
Just as he asks the question, the server reappears to take our order, and his eyes widen on the tail end of the conversation.
“With kindness,” Sienna adds, laughing awkwardly, and Elanee attempts the same. This is why I don’t like doing things publicly.
Sienna lists a few appetizers from the menu, but I doubt this conversation will last long enough for the food to even come out. Though, she probably intends to make me sit through it, uncomfortably trying to create pointless small talk.
When the server walks away, I say, “I wanted to.” That’s the truth. “Not on behalf of The Lion. I hope he rots where he lies in the special place of hell that was always waiting for him. But I’ve hated you for as long as I’ve known of your existence.” Dmitri stiffens, but I continue.
“I wondered how you got away, how you were spared while I was stuck with him. But in truth, it’s because you had a mother who cared for you and took you away because she loved you. My mother fled without me. I don’t lose sleep over it.”
I’ve come to learn that women are powerful in their own way when they want to protect something. My mother didn’t have such fangs when it came to me. But his did.
“I watched our father become obsessed with your progress from a distance, waiting for you to grow so he could challenge you. And I was bloodying my hands on his behalf. Not that I minded. It’s my favorite thing to do.
But I could never shake the thought of how your life turned differently even though we essentially started with the same cards.
We had the same monster’s blood in both of us.