Chapter 20 #3
“And why not? We have a fabulous city here. Full of gothic architecture and mystery. Hot men and fabulous restaurants.”
To see his playful side was fascinating.
Unexpected.
“There are a few hot men here. Shame I don’t know any.
” I couldn’t help but laugh. Teasing him seemed so natural.
“To answer your question. Because it clearly said on their website they were not taking applications for the next season. That’s why I was shocked at the sudden urgency at accepting the position. ”
“Another dancer was injured. Right?”
I nodded and when Zorro nuzzled my leg, I rested my face on his chest so I could stroke the pup.
The softness of his fur added to the peaceful moment.
“Yes, but I never learned any details. You know I have a performance tomorrow night, which means I’ll be in rehearsal late in the morning.
I need to go. I can’t miss it or I’ll be fired. ”
He issued a tough guy growl and I bit back a laugh as I continued rubbing Zorro, who was perfectly content.
Maybe so was I.
“That’s fine, but two of my men will go with you. There will be no negotiations.”
I glanced at him briefly, almost blurting out I knew how to handle guards following me.
Including escaping if and when I wanted. How many times had I done so while at school? I decided to leave that out as it would give away my identity. “I wouldn’t expect otherwise.”
When I flopped my head to the other side, he stroked my head while I enjoyed running my fingers through Zorro’s fur. A happy little family. Who knew? The thought brought a smile to my face.
“Zorro is such a beautiful boy. You’re lucky to have him. A drug-sniffing dog with the sweetest little puppy dog eyes in the world. You adopted him?”
“Yep. I was standing inside a hardware store where they were holding adoptions with some rescue site. One of the volunteers said no one was interested in the handsome boy. Evidently, he was on the euthanasia list. I couldn’t allow that to happen. So here he is.”
“Your boy. Such a cutie pie.” My voice changed as I stroked behind Zorro’s ears.
So did Jaxon’s breathing. I could sense he was frustrated with me as I continued to rub the pup. He hated not being the center of attention. My bad girl side easily appeared around him so I continued stroking Zorro.
“Hey. Don’t ignore me,” Jaxon complained as he slid his finger under my chin, forcing me to turn my head in his direction. “This is my house. My rules.”
“Your rules?”
“Yep. And you’re required to obey them.”
While he was taunting me, a series of skitters drifted all the way into my heated core.
“Such a little boy. Aren’t you? Yes, an injury, although she has a perfectly amazing understudy.
That’s why the entire group of dancers hates me.
They think I bought my way into the position.
Trust me, if I had, I wouldn’t owe your sweet sister half a year’s pay for the furniture she insisted on purchasing for me. ”
His laugh seemed stilted. “That’s my sister.”
“My turn since we’re asking questions. How long have you had Zorro?”
“Not long. He just came to live with me. Before that he was with my Capo, Donatello for several weeks.”
“I can tell how much you love the fur baby. Why did he just come to live with you?”
He bristled with the question. “Just because of my work.”
I didn’t believe him, but I knew better than to push. He seemed so contemplative, suddenly far away from the conversation. “Getting close to people or creatures isn’t in your best interest.”
When he shifted this time, he pulled me even closer, wrapping one massive thigh around mine. I’d never felt so protected or cared for in my life. The moment shared was everything I’d ever wanted. “Not usually.”
“But didn’t you say your brothers are married?”
“Yes. Happily so, something I never thought would happen.”
“But you can’t stand the thought of being with anyone.”
“That’s not it. I worry about the person being a weakness.”
The feel of his heated skin under my fingers added to the electric prickles dancing back and forth on my arms and back as I traced his tattoos.
He didn’t seem to mind until I reached the rose.
The way his entire body stiffened was a clear indicator that the work of art was special to him, the meaning causing him both beautiful and painful memories.
“Without giving into weaknesses, life isn’t worth living.
Zorro makes you happy. You make him happy.
No one can take that away unless you allow them to.
That’s why families are so important. They are the air we breathe, the comfort we need when we’re hurt or sick.
They share in our joys and special celebrations.
They abate the loneliness and help keep our heads above water. ”
I wasn’t prepared for Jaxon’s harsh reaction. He pushed me aside, almost tossing me to the floor in his effort to disengage our entwined bodies. He’d moved from tense to angry, furious with me that I’d brought up something from his past.
Sitting up, I studied his body as he took long strides toward the window, peering out into the darkness. His exhale was tight, somewhat exaggerated as he placed his hand on the window frame. “What did I say that was so wrong?”
“How would you know?” His voice softened and he was shaking his head.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“How the hell would you know about families, Anna? You’re an orphan.
Right? How many foster families did you have, or did you grow up in some Italian orphanage before joining the ballet you so covet?
How would you know what a tremendous loss felt like?
I mean come on. You were so quick to leave New York just because you had an offer to dance.
Right? You tossed aside any friendships and thought, what the heck?
A new city? I’ll enjoy a fling or two but nothing serious.
I don’t need anyone. I certainly won’t trust anyone.
So, tell me.” He spun around to face me and when he did, I was stunned at the furious expression on his face.
“How is it that you know that families are so important?”
I was so shocked by his reaction I could barely think straight. Then I realized he was goading me, able to see behind the tightly woven facade I’d created for myself.
With my legs shaking, I managed to stand, fighting both my urge to tell him the truth and the anger at his push to discover all my dirty little secrets.
Immediately, Zorro was on his feet, his tail thumping hard against the couch.
As soon as I stepped away from the coffee table, he was right there by my side. Was he growling at his master?
I resisted laughing although it served the arrogant man right.
The pup’s reaction was as surreal as the ridiculous anger Jaxon was showing.
I folded my arms, taking several gasping breaths. Why not throw the same attitude smack into his face? “Where the hell is this coming from? I was trying to be nice, to get to know you.”
His laugh didn’t seem real or like him in the least. “You know a hell of a lot about my family when I’ve heard nothing about you. I don’t have a clue where you were born or what fucking color is your favorite. For all I know, you came here to find my weakness and use it against my family.”
We’d returned to that horrible line of thinking again? After the passion we’d shared? After the time spent together? Unable to say anything at this point, I glared at him.
“So tell me.”
I bristled from hearing the discord in his voice.
“Fine? Do you really need some ugly truths about my world? Here goes. You have a huge family who adores you, yet you act as if they are nothing but an inconvenience. Do you have any idea what I would do to have family close? Not one time has anyone that I cared about come to a performance. Not one damn time. Even my father has been too busy to attend. He even missed my birthday this year, which he’s never done before.
And before you chastise me for lying to Emme, she certainly hadn’t mentioned when she was in Columbia that her family were crime lords.
” The flash of anger I felt was so unlike me, but the man knew how to push every button.
His hard, cold features softened, at least enough that against my better judgment, I continued. Why? I don’t know. Could I trust him? Maybe. Maybe not. But the single taste of feeling cared about had awakened someone inside that I wasn’t ready to let go.
“So you lied. You do have a family. Emme was instructed not to tell anyone about her roots for security purposes. Is that what happened with you? Your parents allowed you to come to America under the condition of secrecy?”
The tension between us was palpable.
“Yes, Jaxon. I have a very dysfunctional family. Look at you. You’re figured me out. Maybe they’re my weakness or I’m theirs. Either way, I separated myself from the required life so I could have one myself. So I wasn’t treated as property. Nothing you could understand.”
“That’s not true.”
“Maybe you have politics and rules to follow, more so than most families, but I wasn’t allowed to make my own decisions.
The crazy thing is that I miss my family very much, which is ridiculous.
My father cares about me. He loves me. Not my mother.
Not my brother. They didn’t give a shit if I was alive when I was with them.
I can only imagine what they think now. In truth, to them I was nothing but a commodity, something to be used.
My papa was my world. He would do anything for me, which was why he let me go.
He knew I’d be safer. Alone. Isn’t that nuts?
He allowed me to live my life. He was my…
everything. But I don’t think he cares any longer.
” Great. Now I was highlighting how much I felt sorry for myself.
What a great look of strength, especially in front of a man who had everything.
Including a family.
Another moment of horrifying silence filtered all around us, even more suffocating than before.
“Who are you, Anna? Who are you really?”
The same question he’d asked time and time again.
So this time, I gave him a truthful answer. “Nobody.”