Chapter Seventeen
Carbon
I FUCKING HATE hospitals. This is the last place I want to be, but I won’t leave my woman and kids here alone for any reason.
Especially when our son has medical issues.
We’re about to spend a lot of time in the hospital for appointments and surgery moving forward.
It’s better for me to get used to being here now so I don’t make Peyton feel some type of way when we’re constantly here moving forward.
I think most of us in the club hate hospitals for our own reasons.
My own personal reasons are because we’ve lost too many lives who enter the doors.
Plus, I can’t get past the smell of antiseptic and death.
Every damn hospital smells the same and I feel like it takes several showers to wash the smell off of my body.
Especially from my hair. For Peyton and our son, I’ll be here every fucking day and not bitch for a single second about it.
These are the most important people in my world and I’d do anything for them.
Peyton is just now getting moved up to a regular room on the labor and delivery floor.
It means we get to see our kids and get them out of the NICU.
The last place I want them is to be in the nursery when we’re all here in the hospital.
We’re already split up enough as a group and we have no clue where the hell the stalker is.
If they find out Peyton went into labor and had the babies, who knows what the hell they’ll do.
I’m not about to take any risks when it comes to our children.
Plus, I’m the only one here with Peyton because no one else is allowed in the recovery room with us.
Everyone is sitting in the waiting room upstairs for us to make our way up to her room.
I walk right next to the bed Peyton’s in and hold her hand as we make our way through the halls of the hospital.
It’s a tight fit when we get in the elevator, but we make it work.
Peyton has tears in her eyes and I know she’s thinking of our son and having to tell our family members there is something wrong with him.
In her mind, they’re all going to blame her for what’s wrong and I know for a fact that’s not the truth.
No one will blame a single damn thing on her because this is just something that happened and we’ll grow closer as a family while we deal with whatever comes our way.
Yes, I’m angry there is something wrong with our son.
I would take it from him in an instant if I could.
There is no way in hell I’m going to be okay with knowing our son has to have surgery and doctor’s appointments more than other children his age.
I want to know why this is happening to Chayne and what caused it.
Rationally, I know there is no rhyme or reason to anyone getting sick or having some kind of medical issue like this.
However, right now, I have to focus on Peyton and trying to keep her out of her head and blaming herself for this.
Mentally she needs to focus on healing and being strong for our children.
All of our children. Cedric and Caydence need to know they aren’t going to be pushed to the side because of the twins.
We’re all one family and they won’t be treated any different because of the new babies.
Honestly, I’ve been thinking about talking to Peyton about adopting Cedric and Caydence.
I don’t care that they’re not my biological children.
As far as anyone is concerned, they’re my children and no one will tell me any different.
Clark has died and there is nothing stopping me from adopting them as my own.
I want all of us to have the same last name.
“We’ll bring the twins in shortly. If you need anything else, just press the call button and someone will be with you as soon as possible,” one of the nurses tells Peyton as they get her bed in place and lock the wheels so she doesn’t go rolling across the floor.
“Thank you,” she says, her voice broken as I reach over and cover her up better with the blankets they have on her.
These damn hospital blankets are thin as hell and I know she’s gonna be cold.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I send a message to my sister for a thicker blanket.
I know there’s one in the truck. She lets me know they already went to the store and bought some new stuff.
Including a thick blanket for Peyton and the twins.
They also bought a heater and a fan in case the room is too cold or hot for our small family.
The second they’re allowed in the room, they’ll deliver it all to us.
“Peyton, do you wanna get some rest before we let anyone in?” I ask my girl as her eyes flutter again.
“They can come in whenever they want,” she sleepily answers while trying to open her eyes again. “I’m just gonna close my eyes for a second.”
I watch as my girl falls asleep the best she can.
There’s no way in hell she’s not in pain after having an emergency cesarean section.
I might not be a woman, but I sure as hell know giving birth in any manner is painful as hell and that doesn’t simply go away once the baby is born.
My woman was cut open and sewn back together again.
She’s going to be in pain and I know she won’t complain at all.
Nothing will be said by her if she’s in too much pain because she sees that as being weak and a burden to those around her.
If there’s one thing I know undoubtedly in this world, it’s Peyton.
I can read her mind and know what she’s thinking or feeling by the look in her eyes.
No one else knows her the way I do. With the exception of her dad.
He’s the only other one who truly knows everything about her.
Sitting in the chair next to the bed, I watch Peyton sleep.
Her breaths are even and steady and all the worry and fear is missing from her face.
This is how I want to see her every single day of our lives—no worry or fear of what’s going to happen next because of things we can’t control.
Because of people we can’t control or find at this moment.
She deserves everything good in this world and I plan on making sure she gets it for the rest of her life.
Even if it means sacrificing myself in the process.
***
Peyton managed to get about another two hours of sleep before the babies woke her up.
Cooper started crying which made Chayne cry.
She was instantly alert and looking all over the room for our babies.
I was holding Cooper in my arms with Chayne’s bassinet right next to me.
Homicide and Brick are directly outside the door so no one other than the nurse and Dr. Matthews can come in the room.
The only other doctor will be Chayne’s when they make an appearance so we know the next steps in what has to be done to help him.
“They’re hungry,” Peyton murmurs groggily as she tries to adjust her position in the bed before crying out in pain.
“Slow down, Tutor. Let me help you,” I tell her, standing and carefully setting Cooper down next to Chayne in the bassinet. Both of them seem to calm down when they’re directly next to one another. If they’re in separate bassinets, neither baby likes it.
Turning, I press the button to adjust the head of the bed so Peyton’s in a sitting position.
From the grimace on her face, I know she’s in pain from this position in bed and I want to do something to help her make it better.
Helping her lean forward, I adjust the pillows behind her back until she can get more comfortable.
It’s not a lot, but it’s something more than what it was a few seconds ago.
The grimace is almost completely gone from her face now. That’s a win if you ask me.
“Do you want them both at once or will you feed them one at a time?” I ask her, wanting to help her any way I can.
“I think I should try it one at a time for now. This is a first for me and I don’t want to hurt them by accident,” she tells me, looking toward the bassinet.
“I don’t have a preference for which one you hand me first. Or, you could use one of the bottles they have and feed the other baby while I nurse one. ”
“Why don’t we let them get used to nursin’ first, Peyton? That way they prefer that over havin’ a bottle,” I return, lifting Cooper back in my arms to hand her over to her mom.
Yes, I want to hand over Chayne, but she needs something happy right now. Seeing our son might make her upset once again and that’s the last thing I want. It kills me to see her cry and know she’s upset for any reason. This isn’t something I can fix for her.
I keep my eyes locked on my girls as I lift Chayne in my arms. Cooper latches on like a champ and nurses while Peyton uncovers her small body and checks out our daughter for the first time.
The same thing I did with our moms when the babies were brought in the room from the NICU.
They both have all their little fingers and toes.
Our son and daughter are so much smaller than other babies I’ve seen but my mom assured me it was normal since they’re twins and they were born a little bit earlier than if Peyton only had one baby at a time.
Things I didn’t realize until the moment this became my reality.
I wouldn’t change a single thing about it either.
Even Chayne having something wrong with him.
This is how our life is supposed to be going and as long as Peyton is by my side, we’ll get through it.