Chapter 5 Wife Jokes #2
"Can I ask you something?"
Adrian turned.
"Of course."
"Why didn't you correct Marcus?"
Adrian knew exactly what Riley meant.
He looked toward the window again.
"I almost did."
"I know."
"But then I looked at you."
Riley's heart tightened.
"And?"
Adrian took a slow breath.
"I don't know."
Riley waited.
Adrian was clearly trying to put something into words that didn't come naturally to him.
"I've never thought about it before."
"About being married?"
"About you."
Riley's breath caught.
Adrian continued before Riley could respond.
"I mean, I've thought about you."
That almost made Riley smile.
"I would hope so."
Adrian gave him a faint look.
"You know what I mean."
"I do."
Adrian moved away from the window and sat on the edge of the sofa.
Riley remained standing.
Adrian rubbed his palms together.
"I've always thought of marriage as something that requires a lot of things I don't have time for."
"Such as?"
"Commitment. Presence. Emotional availability."
Riley raised an eyebrow.
"You say that like it's a surgical procedure."
Adrian smiled slightly.
"Maybe that's how I've always treated relationships."
"Like something you can control?"
"Yes."
Riley sat in the chair opposite him.
"And now?"
Adrian looked at him.
"Now I don't know."
Riley felt a familiar ache behind his ribs.
He had spent years loving Adrian quietly.
He had learned how to accept friendship because friendship was better than nothing.
He had convinced himself that seeing Adrian happy from a distance would be enough.
Now Adrian was sitting in front of him, admitting that something had changed.
Riley didn't know whether to hope or protect himself.
"Did the joke bother you?" Riley asked.
Adrian shook his head.
"No."
Riley looked down.
"Did it bother you because it was about me?"
"No."
"Then what bothered you?"
Adrian thought for several seconds.
"I liked it."
Riley looked up.
Adrian's expression was serious.
"That's what bothered me."
Riley didn't speak.
Adrian continued.
"I liked the idea of you being the person people associated with me."
The room seemed to grow warmer.
Riley swallowed.
"Because I've been here?"
"Maybe."
"Because I cook?"
"No."
"Because I take care of you?"
Adrian shook his head.
"Not only that."
Riley waited.
Adrian leaned back.
"When Marcus called you my wife, I didn't think about the food. Or the apartment. Or the fact that you're helping me."
His voice softened.
"I thought about coming home and finding you here."
Riley's eyes stung unexpectedly.
Adrian looked toward the floor.
"I thought about how normal it feels now."
Riley's voice was barely above a whisper.
"Normal?"
"Having you here."
The words were simple.
But they carried more weight than any declaration could have.
Riley looked away.
He couldn't let Adrian see how much those words affected him.
He had spent too long protecting his feelings.
He wasn't ready to lose that protection now.
Adrian noticed the change in his expression.
"Did I say something wrong?"
"No."
"Then why did you look away?"
Riley smiled faintly.
"Because I'm trying not to make this bigger than it is."
Adrian frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"You're recovering. You've had a difficult few weeks. You've gotten used to me being around. I don't want you confusing gratitude with something else."
Adrian's expression became serious.
"I've thought about that."
"And?"
"I don't think I'm confused."
Riley looked at him.
Adrian held his gaze.
"I don't know exactly what this is."
"Neither do I."
"But I know I don't want you to leave."
Riley's heart skipped.
Adrian looked almost frustrated with himself.
"I'm used to understanding things. Diagnosing them. Finding the cause. Knowing what happens next."
"And this doesn't work that way."
"No."
Riley smiled.
"Welcome to being human."
Adrian laughed quietly.
Then the smile disappeared.
He looked at Riley again.
"I don't want you to feel ashamed of taking care of me."
Riley blinked.
"I don't."
"I mean it."
Adrian's voice became firmer.
"Marcus was joking, but I don't want you thinking there's anything embarrassing about what you do for me."
Riley's eyes softened.
"I don't think that."
"Good."
Adrian paused.
"Because I don't."
The words settled between them.
Riley knew what Adrian was trying to say.
Maybe he didn't have the vocabulary for it yet.
Maybe he wasn't ready to call it love.
But something was changing.
The next morning, Riley woke early.
He found Adrian already in the kitchen.
Two cups sat on the counter.
One was coffee.
The other was tea.
Riley smiled.
"You made tea."
Adrian looked up.
"I remembered you don't like coffee in the morning."
Riley stared at him.
"You remembered?"
Adrian shrugged.
"I'm capable of remembering things."
Riley walked closer.
"Apparently."
Adrian handed him the cup.
Their fingers touched.
Neither pulled away immediately.
The moment lasted only a second.
But Riley felt it.
Adrian felt it too.
They looked at each other.
Then Adrian cleared his throat.
"Breakfast?"
Riley smiled.
"Breakfast."
They sat together.
The apartment felt peaceful.
Not empty.
Not temporary.
Something in between.
Riley still didn't know what Adrian wanted.
He didn't know whether the tenderness between them would become something more or disappear once Adrian fully returned to his old life.
But he knew he couldn't pretend he hadn't noticed the difference.
Adrian was noticing him too.
Later that evening, Riley stood near the kitchen counter while Adrian prepared coffee.
"Adrian?"
"Hm?"
"About last night."
Adrian turned.
Riley hesitated.
"Are you sure you weren't uncomfortable when Marcus called me your wife?"
Adrian was silent.
Then he placed the coffee mug down.
He looked directly at Riley.
"When they said it, I realized I didn't hate the idea."
Riley's breath caught.
Adrian didn't look away.
Neither did Riley.
For years, Riley had wondered what it would feel like to hear even the smallest hint that Adrian might want the same things he wanted.
He had imagined grand confessions.
Instead, he received seven quiet words in a warm kitchen.
They were enough to make his heart race.
Enough to make hope dangerous again.
Riley smiled softly, though uncertainty still remained.
Adrian had not said love.
He had not said husband.
He had not promised anything.
But for the first time, Riley wondered if he wasn't the only one standing at the edge of something neither of them knew how to name.
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