Chapter 8 The First Kiss #2
Adrian smiled faintly.
“You take care of me. You make sure I eat. You remember the little things. You make this apartment feel warm.”
Riley smiled.
“But that’s not the reason I want you.”
Adrian’s thumb brushed lightly along Riley’s cheek.
“I want the way you laugh when you think something is ridiculous.”
Riley’s smile widened.
“I don’t laugh that often.”
“You do around me.”
“Maybe because you’re ridiculous.”
Adrian laughed.
“I want that too.”
Riley looked at him.
“I want your drawings scattered across my table. I want to hear you talking about the children at the art center. I want to know what you’re thinking when you go quiet.”
His voice became softer.
“I want your stubbornness.”
Riley raised an eyebrow.
“My stubbornness?”
“Definitely.”
“That’s not very romantic.”
“I like it.”
Riley smiled.
Adrian continued.
“I want your kindness. Your patience. The way you notice people who think nobody sees them.”
Riley’s expression became more vulnerable.
“And I want your presence.”
The words settled between them.
“Even when you’re not doing anything for me,” Adrian said. “Even when you’re sitting across the room drawing. Even when you’re watching television. Even when you’re asleep.”
Riley swallowed.
“You really mean that?”
“Yes.”
Riley looked down.
For years, he had wondered whether Adrian could ever see him beyond what he could provide.
Now Adrian was telling him exactly that.
Riley leaned closer.
“I want you too.”
Adrian smiled.
“I know.”
They stayed together for a while, talking about things they had never discussed when they were only friends.
Riley told Adrian about the first time he had realized his feelings were no longer simple friendship.
It had happened years ago, during college, when Adrian had stayed awake with Riley while he worked on a difficult art project.
Adrian remembered the night.
“You fell asleep sitting beside me.”
“I was exhausted.”
“You were snoring.”
Riley looked offended.
“I do not snore.”
“You did.”
“You are inventing memories.”
Adrian laughed.
Riley smiled.
“I remember thinking that I wanted moments like that forever.”
Adrian’s smile faded into something softer.
“I wish you’d told me.”
“I was afraid.”
“Of me?”
“Of losing you.”
Adrian took his hand.
“You don’t have to be afraid anymore.”
Riley looked at him.
“That’s a big promise.”
“I know.”
They talked until the conversation became quieter.
Eventually, Adrian stood.
“Are you hungry?”
Riley smiled.
“Are you cooking?”
“I’m considering it.”
“Should I call emergency services?”
Adrian laughed.
“I’ve improved.”
“Marginally.”
They went into the kitchen together.
Adrian prepared something simple while Riley leaned against the counter, watching him.
The domestic familiarity of the moment felt almost surreal.
A few weeks earlier, Riley had been caring for Adrian because he was exhausted and unwell.
Now they were cooking together because they wanted to share an evening.
The difference mattered.
Adrian wasn’t asking Riley to take care of him.
Riley wasn’t trying to prove his love through caretaking.
They were simply together.
After dinner, they returned to the living room.
Riley sat beside Adrian.
This time, there was no hesitation.
Adrian pulled him close.
Riley rested against his chest.
They stayed like that while the city outside gradually became quieter.
Eventually, Riley looked up.
“Do you think this will change everything?”
Adrian considered the question.
“Probably.”
“Are you scared?”
“Yes.”
Riley smiled.
“Good.”
Adrian raised an eyebrow.
“Good?”
“It means I’m not the only one.”
Adrian kissed his forehead.
“I don’t want to lose what we already have.”
“We won’t.”
“But this is different.”
“Yes.”
Riley rested his head against him again.
“Different doesn’t have to mean worse.”
Adrian held him a little tighter.
“I know.”
Later, when they finally went to bed, Riley hesitated at the doorway.
The guest room was still technically his room.
But neither of them looked toward it.
Adrian stood beside the bedroom door.
“You can stay here.”
Riley smiled.
“I know.”
There was something almost funny about hearing the same words they had exchanged so many times.
Only now they meant something different.
Riley stepped inside.
Adrian closed the door.
They climbed into bed together.
For a moment, they simply lay beside each other.
No expectations.
No pressure.
Just closeness.
Adrian reached for Riley’s hand beneath the blankets.
Riley intertwined their fingers.
“You okay?” Adrian asked.
“Yes.”
“Really?”
Riley smiled.
“Really.”
Adrian kissed his forehead.
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
Riley closed his eyes.
For years, he had imagined sleeping beside Adrian.
He had imagined what it would feel like to wake up and know he was wanted.
Now the reality was quieter than the fantasy.
It was warmer.
Adrian’s arm rested around him.
Their hands remained joined.
The apartment was peaceful.
There was no guest room between them.
No temporary arrangement.
No unspoken question about whether Riley belonged there.
Riley listened to Adrian’s breathing gradually become slower.
He realized he was no longer waiting for the moment Adrian might change his mind.
Adrian had chosen him.
Not because he needed help.
Not because Riley had made his home comfortable.
Not because circumstances had placed them under the same roof.
He had chosen Riley because he wanted him.
That was enough.
Across the room, the first light from the street slipped through the curtains.
Riley smiled in the darkness.
For the first time since returning to Adrian’s life, he allowed himself to believe that he wasn’t borrowing this happiness.
It belonged to him too.
And when sleep finally came, neither man was thinking about how temporary this was supposed to be.
They simply fell asleep together, no longer pretending that what existed between them was one-sided, accidental, or temporary.
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