Chapter 8 – MRin
I've had a really bad day. Things that needed my attention kept popping up, and then M'Rinna seemed to absorb almost all of the rest of my time.
It was frustrating, as what I really wanted to do was spend more time with Carmen. Our relationship took a step forward yesterday. She'd initiated affection, and while she'd obviously followed her instincts to do so, it wasn't sexual need that drove her to my side. It had felt like she'd wanted my presence, not my cock. She'd actually been quite leery of the evidence of my arousal. Not that I would have mounted her yesterday, since her body's not quite ready for me; it won't be ready until her season starts. Plus, I am still looking for more. When I am not ruled by my instincts, my strongest desire is for her to be willing and to want me of her own volition. I want her consent. I'm just not sure whether I'm going to get that before her season starts, because once it begins, pure biology will take over.
Yesterday, we'd made progress. But today has put a pause on things just when I want the opposite. I'm not in a great mood when H'Nue appears in my doorway.
“It's late. What are you still doing here?” I try to keep my tone civil, as it seems I'm not the only one having a bad day.
“Carmen's unwell.” His worried look makes it clear that he isn't referring to a sniffle.
I'm on my feet immediately, and sprinting out the door in the next instant. I don't care who sees me, and what they might think; I only care about getting to Carmen's side.
“What's the matter with her?” I ask, when we are forced to slow down or else risk injuring others in a crowded corridor.
“She refused dinner, threw up half the lunch that she did eat, and has been distant all day. Not responding or communicating with me.”
“When did all this start?”
“She seemed normal up until her morning milking.”
“Was there anything different from that point on?”
“Just M'Rinna's presence, but it's not like she hasn't met M'Rinna before.”
“She hasn't since her cognition returned, but that shouldn't cause her to be distant or off her food.”
“I can't think of anything else. Could something have gone wrong with her transformation?”
“I've never heard of transformation issues manifesting like this.” I thought hard as we navigated the next corridor. “I think I saw her outside this morning, yes?”
“Yes, she went out like usual, but I kept a close eye on her, and I didn't see anything untoward happen.”
“Perhaps she ate something out there? Or was bitten by something?”
H'Nue looks relieved for a moment, but then says, “But that wouldn't explain her listlessness during morning grooming. M'Rin, it seemed as if she barely noticed when I put her tail in.”
“She has to be getting used to it by now.”
H'Nue purses his lips. “She grumbled and stamped her hand yesterday–although to be fair, I have wondered whether her protests are more for form these days.”
“There. She's gotten used to it. It must be something that happened in the field.”
H'Nue looks unconvinced, but doesn't argue further, since we have arrived at Carmen's apartment.
We slow down as we enter, not wanting to startle her, but her head whips around regardless. It seems to take her a few moments to recognise us, but then she retreats back into a miserable ball on her sleeping cushions.
“Oh, sweetheart,” I croon, making my way over to her. “H'Nue tells me you're not feeling well.” I fold myself down next to her. “Does your tummy hurt?”
She gives me a narrow eyed glance, perhaps at my wording. There is a pause as she considers her answer–for far longer than I would expect–then she gives a small nod.
I exchange a quick look with H'Nue, and I can see he is relieved that she is communicating again.
“Does anything else hurt?”
Again, a longer pause than I would have expected, then a shrug and a slight nod.
“Can you show me where?”
She stares at me blankly for a very long moment, then looks away, resting her head back on the pillows. My brief questioning has exhausted her, I think.
Discarding that question, I ask an equally important one, “Did you eat anything while you were outside today?”
A tiny head shake.
“Did anything bite you?”
A shoulder movement that is probably a shrug and a head twitch that might be a shake.
“I know you're tired sweetheart, but will you let H'Nue and me check you for bites or injuries?” I'm sure H'Nue has already done so, but I need to examine her myself.
Another almost-shrug, but with a slight nod this time.
H'Nue and I check her thoroughly, even in places that would have been covered, like her hands, knees and feet, but we don't find anything concerning. We also take her temperature and do the usual checks for ailments, but nothing flags as unusual.
I am concerned about her listlessness and fatigue, but perhaps a good night's sleep will fix that.
H'Nue pours her some fresh water, and I'm relieved to see her head come up, and even more relieved when she drinks down a good portion. He leaves the deep sided bowl near her bed with a hopeful look on his face, in case she wants more.
“Alright, sweetheart, we'll give you your evening injection, and then we will let you sleep. You know how to alert someone if you need anything.”
She stirs and shakes her head.
I'd have sworn that she was cognisant enough to remember, but repeat the instructions regardless. “Just press the red button”–I gesture to it on the wall–“or make some noise. I'll ensure the night staff keep an ear out.”
She shakes her head again and whimpers as she hauls herself up onto her hands and knees. Her limbs are shaking, and I hope it is only fatigue, but whatever the reason, it breaks my heart to see it.
“Do you want me to stay?” It feels like a selfish question, given that it's what I'm aching to do, but it's a relief to have an excuse to ask. It's an even bigger relief when she nods, giving the clearest response so far this evening.
When H'Nue approaches with her transformation injection, she cowers and starts trembling. He looks pained at her reaction, and turns to me.
“We'll skip it this evening. I'll see you in the morning, thank you for watching over Carmen.”
“I just wish I knew what's wrong. Do you need me to bring you anything?”
“No, but if you could lock up my office?”
“Of course. Goodnight, sir. Goodnight, Carmen.”
Carmen gives a half-nod, but keeps her attention on me as she settles back into her bed cushions, as if to make sure I don't disappear.
“Goodnight, H'Nue. I'll see you in the morning.”
When he leaves, I use the bathroom and have a drink, all whilst Carmen avidly tracks me, then join her on the pillow bed. It takes a little manoeuvring–since while spacious, the bed is only made for one–but I soon have her curled up in front of me, her back to my chest, with my arms circled around her torso.
My cock notices that this position is very similar to one it is keen on experiencing with Carmen, and I have to firmly remind it that now is most definitely not the time.
Carmen falls asleep quickly, and seems to rest calmly, which soothes my anxiety somewhat. It still takes a while to drift off, and I rouse each time she shifts.
This state of alertness is why I immediately wake when someone enters Carmen's room.
I'm surprised to see that it's M'Rinna, and it's clear that she is equally surprised to see me. She's holding something, but I can't see what it is.
“Is she okay?” M'Rinna whispers to me.
“She's resting quietly. I don't know much more than that.”
“Okay, that's good.”
“What are you doing here? I didn't think you were on nightshift tonight.”
“I was worried about Carmen. You know I have high hopes for her.”
“I know. She's amazing.”
“You'll breed her, then?”
“I don't want to talk about this right now. I know what you did”–her posture stiffens–“and I really resent you going behind my back.”
“But–”
“Not now, M'Rinna. Did you have something for Carmen?” I nod to her right hand.
“Oh, umm, just a nutrient shot. Since she is unwell and didn't eat properly yesterday.”
I frown. “I appreciate the thought, but really, the middle of the night is hardly the right time, M'Rinna.” This conversation is frustrating me, and I'm more than ready to be done with it. “I'll talk to you in the morning. Goodnight.”
She huffs an annoyed sigh, but leaves the room with a muttered, “Goodnight.”
While I sympathise–empathise, even–with M'Rinna about her unsuccessful season, she has been acting oddly all day and now seems to be making poor decisions at work. Perhaps she needs to take some extra time off, or to speak to a counsellor. It's a rare individual who doesn't see a breed counsellor these days.
I fall asleep again, and only wake in the morning when Carmen climbs out of bed. I suppress the temptation to snuggle her back into my chest, and instead take the opportunity to observe her.
She seems steady and clearheaded as she uses the facilities and gets a fresh bowl of water from the tap. She cups the bowl in both hands and tips it up to her mouth to drink it all. That seems to bode well for her health.
I make some noise getting up from bed, to alert her to my wakefulness, and she quickly looks over. She smiles, and my breath halts while my heart misses a beat.
I quickly return her smile. “Good morning. Are you feeling any better?”
A nod. A clear one, with no ambiguity. Relief pours through me.
“I'm so glad to hear that.” I watch as she returns to me. My heart misses another beat when she touches my nose with hers, and once again nuzzles her cheek against mine.
Fortunately she doesn't present this time. After holding her all night, it would take a massive amount of self-control to resist her.
I return her nuzzle, and that is how H'Nue finds us.
“Good morning. You're looking much better, Carmen. Do you feel better?”
She nods, avoiding eye contact with either of us. She'd skipped away from me when she realised H'Nue was there, and I assume she feels embarrassed about him catching us being affectionate. I can't say I feel the same, but I have heard that some humans are shy about showing affection in public.
“Good, I'm so happy to hear that. Let's get you even more comfortable, then. Your udder looks quite full.”
It does. Despite her off day yesterday, her udder is noticeably bigger today. It is rounded and taut, and sways enticingly with every movement. Her season really is imminent.
That thought keeps me by her side as the three of us walk down the hall to the milking room.
M'Rinna is already in there and has Carmen's stall already set up.
Carmen baulks in the doorway. I go to exchange a confused glance with H'Nue, but he isn't looking my way. He's moving his attention from Carmen to M'Rinna and giving my sister a penetrating look.
I also glance between the two, and conclude that for some reason, Carmen doesn't like M'Rinna.
“I think it'd be best if you head out now,” I say to M'Rinna. “I'll find you later and we can talk.”
“Of course. Just trying to help.” I can't really blame her for her huffy tone.
I expect Carmen to return to her usual obliging self once M'Rinna is gone, but she doesn't.
She flat out refuses to move further into the room.
“Come on,” I coax, “I'm sure you're ready for some breakfast.”
She shakes her head even as her stomach rumbles.
I frown and look at H'Nue. He takes a turn at cajoling her. “I'm sure you'll feel better with some food on board and your udder empty.”
Another head shake and an imploring look at me.
I don't know what Carmen is expecting from me; clearly it's something other than what is happening. I've never wished she could talk more than I do now.
I try a different tack. “What about just the milking? I don't like the idea of you uncomfortable.”
She frowns, disappointed, I think, and looks away from me.
I exchange a helpless look with H'Nue. I really don't want to force her.
He strokes her back and crouches down to her level. “Ignore the food, honey, if you feel that strongly about it, but will you please let me milk you? It's really not good for your udder to stay that full, quite aside from the discomfort you must be in.”
She turns her imploring look on H'Nue, but takes a step forward, and then another.
H'Nue rests his hand on her harness–we'd had to adjust it when we put it on earlier to make room for her enlarged udder–but walks alongside her at her pace.
When they reach the stall, she baulks again.
“Can you remove the food?” H'Nue asks me.
I swiftly comply, still confused as to why Carmen has suddenly developed an aversion to her meals.
Carmen still doesn't enter the stall.
“I need to hook you up to the machine. I can't do a thorough job manually.”
A tortured glance at H'Nue, then me.
“We'll be here the whole time,” I offer, not knowing what else might comfort her.
She glances back at the doorway, clearly indecisive.
“What if I don't clip you in, but just attach the milking cups? Would that be okay?” H'Nue offers.
Finally, Carmen cautiously enters the stall. She remains alert and hyper vigilant as H'Nue hooks up the machine.
She has a new aversion to food and to being restrained. What on earth has happened?
“Are you sure her milking was normal yesterday?” I hate to ask H'Nue again, but there is something going on that we are missing.
He doesn't take offence. “Yes, the only difference was M'Rinna's presence in the morning. Her afternoon milking was also normal, but hazy, like I mentioned.”
Carmen turns and gives me and H'Nue a significant look, but I don't know how to interpret it.
When Carmen's milk is flowing, we settle in to keep her company. She never fully relaxes though, and consequently her volume is down, despite her udder looking fuller than I have ever seen it.
She's kept both of us in sight, and tracks H'Nue when he moves to retrieve her dose. When she sees the syringe, she explodes into motion.
I lunge for her harness and strain to hold her in place. She might be a lot smaller than me, but it takes all my strength to hold her.
“Carmen! No! You'll hurt yourself!” I yell as H'Nue lunges for the emergency stop button.
She is still attached to the milking machine, and her udder will be injured if the cups are ripped off while they're still active.
As soon as the machine stops, he detaches the cups, and I release Carmen, unwilling to restrain her now that she is no longer at risk of injury.
She rears up and spins out of the stall, races to the other side of the room, huddles her rear into the corner, then curls in on herself.
It breaks my heart to see her afraid, and shatters the fractured pieces to know that she is apparently afraid of me.
H'Nue and I ignore the scattered debris and focus on calming Carmen.
“I don't understand what happened, Carmen. I didn't mean to alarm you.” H'Nue moves closer until Carmen starts to tense up, then takes one step back and stops.
She stares at us with wide eyes.
“Can you confirm that you didn't want the dose?”
A nod.
H'Nue frowns and looks at me, but I shrug and shake my head. I have no idea either.
“You've had the dose many times before with no issue. Was there something different about this one?”
A shrug and a slight nod. Maybe.
H'Nue blows out a sigh. “Okay, I don't know the why, but we do know the problem. Or part of it.” He runs a frustrated hand through his hair. “What if I got a fresh dose?”
She glances at the dispenser on the wall and shakes her head.
H'Nue grimaces. “We have a problem then. Another one, apparently. There are four mechanisms that are used to initiate and then maintain a hu's transformation. One of those is sun exposure, but it is not enough by itself.” He pauses, taking in Carmen's steady attention before continuing, “Two more mechanisms are dietary supplements and the transformation injections, but I am guessing both of those are out, yes?”
A firm nod.
“Which leaves semen dosing.”
Carmen glances at the dispenser and shakes her head again.
“I really don't know what will happen if your transformation stalls. I'd have to look it up. But I am sure that it isn't good.”
A short nod.
H'Nue had told me of his conversation with her, and of her ability to reason, but it is another thing to see it in action. And now, I suspect I am about to witness a negotiation.
“What can we do to make you comfortable with dosing again? With an increased volume, I think it may be enough. I'm willing to try and see, but Carmen, if it isn't enough, we will be at this point again, only with more urgency.”
She purses her lips and nods. Then she blushes and flicks a deliberate glance at H'Nue's crotch.
“Oh, no, not me.” H'Nue raises his hands up in front of him. “But him”–he gestures to me–“maybe we can find a way.”
Carmen's eyebrows shoot up and she looks at me. She doesn't seem surprised, exactly, but there is something deeper in her expression that I can't decipher.
“Your doses have come from me,” I confirm, “and it's not good practice to swap donors unless it is unavoidable.”
She blushes hotly again, glances down to my crotch, then glances back at her hips.
“No, not that way,” I deny quickly, not wanting to allow myself to dwell on her suggestion.
Her head dips and she glances down and away.
Her reaction has me moving before I realise that it might not be a good idea. But then I am in front of her, reaching my nose towards hers.
She glances up, but doesn't raise her face to mine. Embarrassed by perceived rejection, I think.
“Your body isn't ready for me, and I'd really rather our first time isn't under these circumstances.”
Her head jerks up, and I quickly pull back to ensure we don't collide. Her eyes are wide and questioning.
“Yes, I want to. But we can't yet. So let's see if we can find a compromise.” This time she lets me gently touch my nose to hers.
“What if M'Rin provides a fresh measure, and we dose from that?”
She glances at the dispenser again and frowns.
“We don't need to put it through the machinery. You can watch the whole process if you want.”
I give a huff, and H'Nue's lips twitch, but he keeps his attention on Carmen.
She bites her lip and looks down, but nods.
H'Nue and I both breathe a sigh of relief.
“Okay,” H'Nue says briskly. “We need a clean receptacle and a fresh measure. Then we will need a clean syringe. And Carmen?” He waits until she looks at him. “It's going to be much more than usual, so it's going to take longer, and require more from both of us. Are you okay with that?”
She nods.
“Alright, let's go.” H'Nue briskly leads the way to the collection room. He disconnects the automatic collection tubes and washes out the system in front of Carmen. He attaches the stand-alone bottle and looks at Carmen.
“Okay?”