Chapter 40
ESSENCE
The sound of birds chirping wakes me from a restful sleep. Golden sunlight filters in through the open blinds of Dante’s room and drenches the small space in warmth. Lunchbox sleeps in his little bed peacefully, which brings a smile to my face.
I reach back and feel around for Dante, but my hand only grazes over the cool sheet. Sitting up, I look at his side of the bed in confusion.
Where is he?
Suddenly, the smoke detector beeps.
Is there a fire? Did he really leave me here to fend for myself?
And I thought he was different from Evan…
No, he’s nothing like Evan. He wouldn’t have left me here to die in a fire, not after everything that’s happened.
Quickly, I get out of bed, slip on one of his shirts, and throw the door open, expecting the worst.
Instead, I’m met with the sight of Dante frantically waving an oven mitt under the smoke detector to fan the smoke away.
He’s wearing a fresh white t-shirt underneath a navy blue apron, and his butt is a sight to behold in those gray sweatpants.
I lean against the doorframe and watch him with my arms crossed over my chest, shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
I must laugh out loud, though—or maybe he can feel my presence—because he whips around with a cheesy grin on his face.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he says happily. “I’m making breakfast.”
I push away from the doorframe and walk towards him. “It smells more like you’re burning it,” I say playfully.
As soon as I reach the kitchen, he grabs me by the waist and pulls me in for a kiss.
His lips are soft and warm as they move against mine, making my toes curl and a torrent of butterflies erupt in the pit of my stomach.
My hands drift up over his arms and shoulders until they tangle in the short, soft strands of his hair.
He groans into my mouth when I tug at them gently.
How could I have thought he’d leave me?
When he pulls away, he softly kisses the tip of my nose and returns his attention back to the food. I peek around his shoulder to see that he’s completely burnt the bacon.
“I didn’t know you like your bacon extra crispy,” I tease.
He chuckles and shakes his head. “I got distracted and forgot to flip it.”
I hum, curious as I hop up onto the counter next to the stove. Dante removes the pan of bacon onto a cold burner and turns the overhead fan on.
“Distracted by what?” I ask.
He comes to stand in front of me, places his hands on either side of my hips, and leans in close until the tip of his nose just barely grazes mine.
The intensity of his deep amber eyes makes my stomach do all kinds of somersaults, and his five o’clock shadow takes me back to last night; I swear I can still feel the prickling sensation of those little hairs on my body.
“I was distracted by you, little flower,” he says deeply, darkly. “The way you say my name, the way your hands feel when you touch me, the way you scream when you come.”
My face flushes.
“And that,” he says, tapping one of my flaming cheeks. “It’s so easy for me to make you blush.” He gently tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and kisses me again. “You will be my undoing, Essence Robinson,” he murmurs against my lips.
Since Dante burned our breakfast, we decided to go out to eat. He found a pet-friendly restaurant online that’s only five minutes away, but it takes us almost thirty minutes to get ready because he insisted on showering together.
If it wasn’t already obvious, the showering part of the shower didn’t happen.
When we’re done getting dressed, we take Lunchbox for a quick walk before going to the restaurant. It’s a really cute little family-owned place that boasts its inclusivity right on the front door.
The menu is expansive, even for breakfast, so Dante and I decide to order a few things to split and try. Then I order puppy pancakes with whipped cream and some cooked ham for Lunchbox.
“I’m starving,” I moan as we sit at our table and wait for the food to come.
“I know, baby. Sorry about burning breakfast,” Dante says gently.
I wave a hand dismissively. “It’s okay. I appreciate the effort. Evan never cooked for me. He’d find a way to burn water if it was possible.”
It’s supposed to be a joke, but a shot of pain lances through me at the thought of him and his violent demise.
And when I look at Dante, I remember that I'm sitting with his killer.
When I think back to everything we’ve done in the past few days, and even the last six months, I'm filled with shame. Evan was a horrible person, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think he had ever been unfaithful to me.
Not that it matters; the abuse he’d inflicted on me doesn’t justify my wrongdoings. Anyone else would tell me that he deserved to be cheated on, or that he even deserved to die. Perhaps that would be correct, but I'm not a monster.
Dante is. He savagely murdered someone to protect me, and I should be scared to be around him. Hell, I should have turned him in to the police a long time ago, but I’ve never felt unsafe around him.
Evan’s blood is on his hands, and yet I’d trust him with my life.
“What’s wrong?” Dante asks, breaking me from my thoughts. I snap my eyes to him and chew on my bottom lip nervously.
“I was just thinking about… things…” I trail off, looking away from his intense gaze and absentmindedly fiddling with a loose string on my sweater.
Dante doesn’t say anything, and I guarantee he knows where my mind has gone. He just wants me to say it out loud.
“What?” I ask, feigning innocence.
The corner of his mouth tilts up in amusement. “I can see the thoughts running around in that beautiful head of yours,” he says quietly. Gently.
That’s the thing, he’s such a big man, and he can be fucking scary, but he’s so heartbreakingly gentle with me.
I sigh. “It just hit me that—” I look around the mostly empty restaurant and lean in closer so no one else can hear us. “—you killed someone for me.”
He waits for me to say something else, and when I don’t, he nods and says, “Yes.”
I blink, too stunned to speak for a moment. “Yes? That’s all you have to say?”
He shrugs. Lunchbox starts whining and climbing up on Dante’s leg, so he picks him up and cradles the pup to his chest. It’s never occurred to me before how tiny Lunchbox looks in Dante’s arms.
As if he couldn’t be any more attractive…
“What else do you want me to say, Essence? That asshole attacked you. He could have killed you—do you understand that?” he asks emphatically.
I swallow. “I get it, but there were other ways to get me out. You didn’t have to go that route.”
Dante stiffens, and his eyes darken with anger.
Fuck, now I'm making him mad.
“What other way could you and I have utilized to get you away from him? Hmm?” he asks through clenched teeth, but he doesn’t wait for me to respond. “How many times did you say you were going to leave on your own and never did?”
“Don’t you dare use that against me, Dante,” I hiss between my teeth as one of the owners of the restaurant brings us our food.
Lunchbox jumps out of Dante’s arms excitedly when he sees his little plate of pancakes and ham. The owner asks, “May I?” and gestures to him. I smile and nod, and she pets his soft fur as he starts licking the dollop of whipped cream on top.
“Thank you,” Dante tells her as she walks away.
“Let me know if you need anything else,” she says.
When she’s out of earshot, I slide a plate of chocolate chip pancakes towards me and cut into it. I don’t say anything else, too mad to even acknowledge Dante right now.
But he’s not going to let this go, because he is who he is, and I just have to accept it.
“Don’t ignore me, flower,” he says through clenched teeth.
For some reason, his anger is really turning me on. My toes curl inside my shoes, and I try to ignore the warmth spreading through my lower body.
Instead of answering him, I take a bite of the pancakes. They’re delicious, thankfully, because now I actually have a reason to ignore him. I could get lost in these fluffy discs of bread.
“Essence.”
He’s going to make me pay for ignoring him—I just know it.
The other dishes clatter loudly as Dante roughly shoves them all to the side. The owner glances over to where we’re sitting from behind the counter with a look of concern. I give her a small smile to let her know everything is fine and glare at Dante.
“What the hell is your problem?” I snap.
“You,” he snaps.
I flinch like he’s just slapped me, the harshness of his tone ringing in my ears.
“I got rid of that bastard for you, and this is how you thank me?” he seethes.
My mouth falls open in shock—did he really just fucking say that?
“Thank you?” I ask, astonished.
“You’re welcome,” he deadpans.
“Stop it, Dante. I’m not thanking you for murdering my boyfriend.”
“Ex-boyfriend,” he quickly corrects me, amber eyes darkening violently. “I did you a favor, and this is how you treat me, Essence?”
I scoff and cross my arms over my chest. “So how should I be treating you? Hmm? Should I get on my hands and knees and kiss your boot in gratitude?”
Dante doesn’t say anything for a moment, then he says in a tone barely above a whisper, “Yes.”
I stiffen. “What?”
“I want you to get on your knees and kiss my boot,” he says in a voice so calm it sends a shiver down my spine. Is that how he spoke to Evan before he killed him, if he even spoke at all?
The warm arousal I was feeling moments ago intensifies at his words. I can’t believe he’d expect me to do something so insane, but I'm in even more disbelief that I actually want to do it.
I sit back in my chair and look around the restaurant again, face on fire, then down at Lunchbox to make sure he’s okay. He’s licked his whole plate clean and is now lying lazily at Dante’s feet, those black boots of his taunting me.
“I’m not doing that here,” I whisper.
His eyes light up with levity. “Never said you had to.”
We eat our meal in silence, sneaking glances at each other as we stuff our faces with food. All of it is so good, and I definitely want to come back here, but the only thing I can think about is what’s waiting for me when we get home.