Chapter 37 #2
"But when you looked at me for the first time after all those years, you only saw me as a nuisance. I waited for you… and for what? For your approval? For your acceptance? You just left after you killed our father. Gave some righteous declaration about how you’d create a better life for us, but you were no better than Dad. At least he was there. You just left.”
Lorenzo’s grip tightens around the armrest of the chair. “I didn’t want you to follow me into this life. This isn’t a good life, Dante.”
“That's bullshit, and you know it!” I snap, my true anger for my brother rising to the surface. “You love it just as much as I do. I’m not in denial about who I am or what my nature is, Lorenzo. You are, and you’ve always projected that onto me.”
His mouth snaps shut, and Romi's and Lily's gazes move between us carefully, as if at any moment we both might explode. I wipe at my still-bleeding nose again, looking down at the blood on my thumb.
“You never once asked what I wanted. You barely ever even checked in. You just sent me money, hoping I’d build some prestigious life.
But I had nothing after you left. Mom and Milia were dead.
And Dad…" I pause for a beat, then go on.
"You took him from me. The only thing I could focus all my hatred on was years of cultivating my training and talents to kill our father after taking his beatings for so long, and you took that away from me. You left me with nothing!”
“I was doing us both a favor,” Lorenzo growls. “He wasn’t going to stop hitting you that day.”
“He was meant to be my first kill. You took it away from me. Did you think I endured all those beatings for the both of us for nothing?”
“That’s twisted, Dante, and you know it,” Lorenzo says, and I choke out a laugh.
“Yes, brother, I’m twisted. And you wanted me to become a surgeon. You thought it would change me that it would fix me. The only one who saw me for what I really was was Luca. But you were always in denial. Why didn’t you become the surgeon, huh?”
“Because I’m not as smart as you, Dante,” Lorenzo grits out, and my eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
“You’re the smartest person I’ve ever known, and I just wanted you to focus on something meaningful.
I thought you stayed all those years in our hometown because you didn’t want to make anything of yourself. ”
“I was waiting for you,” I growl, and I hate the dip in my voice.
I hate how weak it makes me sound. I’m uncomfortable with all these truths, knowing that it leaves me wide open for him to mock me.
I’d been such an idiot forever believing I meant as much to my older brother as he did to me.
Romi’s warm hand settles on top of mine, and I soak in her comforting touch, grateful for having met her.
For her seeing the real me, and still accepting me.
I roll my shoulders back, still uncomfortable by all of this shit.
“I looked up to you once,” I admit. “But you’re right, I am smart, and I learned my lesson.”
His eyebrows dip slightly as he stares at me, honestly looking at me. “And the most recent bloodbath you left behind in Italy before coming to New York?”
I chuckle. “Ah, Lorenzo, always about business.”
“I’m trying to understand,” he grits.
“It kills you to know that Luca and I have a relationship and secrets without your knowledge, doesn’t it?” I say rather smugly. My brother has dedicated most of his life to Luca, and I know it hits him hard that I now stand in his stead.
I’m still not entirely sure why Luca hasn’t filled Lorenzo in about us wiping out a few of the Bratva members on Luca’s territory in Italy, but it makes me feel victorious for once. Like, I finally have something that Lorenzo doesn’t.
My phone buzzes, and I watch Lorenzo, soaking in his irritated expression as I pull it out. When I see Luca’s name, I answer it.
“I need you and Lorenzo at the Armani mansion now,” he barks, then hangs up.
My eyebrows shoot up, and I pocket my phone. Okay, so Luca is aware of Lorenzo’s arrival. That was fast.
“We’ve been summoned. Luca knows you’re here.”
“Of course he does. He ordered me to return,” Lorenzo says with an arrogant twinkle in his gaze, and the mental warfare for the position of Luca’s confidant reignites. It’s most likely a petty game to others, but right now, this is all we have that keeps us connected.
Of course, Lorenzo didn’t go out on a limb and risk coming here just to beat the shit out of me. His being here isn’t for me at all; it’s because of Luca’s orders.
“But I decided to give you a visit first after seeing that photo you posted on Instagram.”
“How do you know it was me?” I ask as I stand up. We both look worse for wear, but it is what it is.
“Because I know you, Dante,” Lorenzo says as he stands and gives me a once-over. “But perhaps not as well as I once thought.”
A tension ripples between us. I don’t know what to make of that comment. Is he implying he views me differently now?
But as quickly as the strange moment appeared, he blinks it away in the next breath. “We’re going in my car.”
And as abruptly as that, he turns to Lily and presses a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll return to your side soon.” He then looks at Romi. “I’ll pay for all damages, and I apologize for coming in so recklessly. This isn’t what Lily wanted.”
“Let me assure you, you’ll be paying double,” Romi berates. “And don’t give me a reason to hate you. I accept you because Lily wants to be with you, but if you ever come after Dante like that again, you’ll be going through me first. Are we clear?”
I swallow hard, surprised by the way she defends me, and its impact.
I’ve never once had someone do that, and I know I’m not deserving of it for all the evil I’ve done in my life.
I’ve killed so many, tortured for fun. Played head games with more people than I can remember to turn them crazy, simply for entertainment.
But the way my Cattivella bares her fangs to protect me makes me want to be a man worthy of her ferociousness.
Lorenzo carefully regards her, then me. He doesn’t say anything, but he simply nods, and I swear I see the corner of his mouth twitch slightly, as if he's trying to hide a ghost of a smile.
Then Romi turns to me and cups my face, and her warmth draws my hand to pull her toward me. Mine.
Her brown eyes draw me in like they always do as she says, “I’m proud of you for speaking the truth.” And she gently kisses my split lip. “But I’m still mad at you.”
“You wouldn’t be my woman if you weren’t mad at me for something,” I say, kissing her once more. I expect her to argue and shrug me off with I’m not your anything or something of the sort, but she doesn’t.
Instead, she steps aside and says, “Play nice with your brother.”
I look at Lorenzo, who’s already waiting at the door. I scan over the state of the apartment; it’s a fucking disaster, and I know I’ll be paying for it when I return, because there’s no way Romi can be this calm in a situation like this.
Then again, much like I’ve worn down all of her sharp edges, I think she’s done the same to me.