Chapter 5 #4
The three of us laughed until I had to wipe underneath my eyes. For some reason, that broke the last little bit of tension sitting in my chest. When it got quiet again, I looked at Kaizleigh. She was still smiling, but I could see the question all over her face.
I took a deep breath.
"Alright."
Her smile disappeared.
"Alright what?"
"You know what."
"No."
"Kaizleigh."
"I need you to say it."
"Why?"
"Because I need to know you're sure."
I looked down at my hands.
Was I sure? Hell no. Who could be sure about something they'd never done before?
I was scared of pregnancy. Scared of what it could do to my body.
Scared of carrying a baby for months and then having to leave the hospital without it.
Scared of getting attached. Scared of something going wrong.
But being scared didn't automatically mean I shouldn't do it.
Sometimes being scared just meant the shit was big.
And this was probably the biggest decision I'd ever made.
I looked back at her.
"I'll do it."
Kaizleigh didn't move.
I laughed nervously.
"Damn, you wanted me to say it and now you looking at me crazy."
"You serious?"
"Yes."
"Nyrobi."
"Girl, yes. Before I change my damn mind."
Her hand flew over her mouth.
I knew what was coming.
"Oh, hell. Don't cry."
"I'm not crying."
"You definitely crying."
She blinked fast.
"I'm trying not to."
"Well, try harder because then I'm gonna feel weird."
Billion reached over and rubbed her back.
Kaizleigh shook her head and laughed at herself, but the tears still came.
"Thank you."
I shifted in my chair.
"Don't thank me yet. For all we know, the doctor might look at my uterus and send my ass home."
That made her laugh through her tears.
"Why are you like this?"
"I don't know."
Billion shook his head.
"Your mama probably ask herself that every day."
"She got Nysheca. I'm the least of her worries."
"Who's Nysheca?" Kaizleigh asked.
"My sister."
"The one you mentioned before?"
"Yeah. The one on Molly."
Kaizleigh nodded like she remembered.
"She told me to tell y'all she'll do it if I don't."
Billion frowned.
"Do what?"
"Carry the baby."
Kaizleigh laughed.
"She serious?"
"Very. Soon as I told her how much y'all offered, she damn near started packing for pregnancy."
Billion laughed.
"She pass screening?"
"Absolutely the fuck not."
That made Kaizleigh laugh even harder.
I smiled watching her.
Yesterday, she had been sitting across from me trying to explain something I barely understood.
Now she was crying because I had said yes. The money was still on my mind. Of course it was. I wasn't about to suddenly act like the money didn't have shit to do with my decision.
It did…..A lot. But it wasn't the only thing anymore.
I stood up and grabbed my phone.
"So what now?"
Kaizleigh wiped underneath her eyes.
"Now we start the screening."
"How soon?"
"As soon as they can get you in."
"Like tomorrow?"
"I don't know about tomorrow."
"Next week?"
"Possibly."
"Okay."
Billion looked at me.
"You nervous?"
"Yes."
"Good."
I frowned.
"How the fuck is that good?"
"Because I'd be worried if you weren't."
"Everybody keep saying that."
"Because it's true."
I looked toward the door.
"I gotta get back downstairs before everybody decide y'all adopted me."
Kaizleigh smiled.
"They talking?"
"Girl."
"What?"
"They think I'm your family. Your secret employee. Somebody said I'm spying on the hotel for y'all."
Billion laughed.
"Who said that?"
"I'm not snitching."
"You just said you the spy."
"Exactly. Confidential information."
Kaizleigh shook her head.
"Go back to work."
"Gladly."
I reached for the door.
"Nyrobi."
I turned around.
Kaizleigh was looking at me differently now. Not like the rich woman I'd met in a hospital. Not like the owner of the hotel where I worked. Just a woman who wanted a baby.
"Thank you," she said again.
This time I didn't make a joke.
I just nodded.
"You're welcome."
I stepped out and closed the door behind me.
The hallway was quiet as I walked toward the elevator, but my head wasn't. I had actually done it.
Not thought about it. Not said probably.
Not told Kendra I was leaning toward it.
Not sat up with Mama weighing the good against the bad.
I had looked Kaizleigh Stylez in her face and told her I'd carry her baby.
The elevator doors opened, and I stepped inside. For some reason, my hand went to my stomach. I immediately snatched it away.
"Bitch, stop."
There wasn't shit in there but the breakfast sandwich I'd eaten that morning.
I laughed at myself and pressed the button for my floor.
The money could change my life. I knew that.
But as those elevator doors closed, it finally hit me that before I ever saw a dollar, a doctor had to decide whether my body was even capable of doing what I had just promised.
And for the first time since the Stylez put that offer in front of me, the money wasn't the part making my stomach turn.
It was knowing the next step involved somebody looking at every damn part of my life and deciding if I was good enough to carry theirs.